Work Text:
Lan Wangji had been perfectly happy — content — with just being by Wei Wuxian's side. He had lost him once; he couldn't bear to lose him again. But Lan Wangji wasn't stupid; he knew the man held no romantic interest towards him. Wei Wuxian had been a ladies' man in his prime, always having swooning females fawning on him. It had at first irritated Lan Wangji to no end, especially when he was a hormonal teenager experiencing their first crush, but after all that had happened, Lan Wangji knew it was a crush no more. It was love. An obsessive love that he has let fuel and compel him to commit heinous acts, much like that one night.
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, now known as Mo Xuanyu, were together in an inn. They had vanquished a few ghouls in search of the mysterious demonic arm's origin and had been rewarded with a feast by some grateful villagers. With this feast, alcohol was served.
It wasn't a secret; the Lan clan did not indulge in alcoholic beverages, but Lan Wangji couldn't sit idly by as Wei Wuxian teased him until his ears turned red, and then proceeded to flirt shamelessly with the woman serving them. With little propriety, he had taken the glass right from the other man's hands and downed it! The effects of inebriation hit Lan Wangji hard and fast.
Wei Wuxian, being the gentleman that he is, had brought the man back to their shared room, laying him to rest from the effects. While gone, he got absolutely sloshed himself. As Wei Wuxian, he had the stomach of a bull, able to handle gallons upon gallons of alcohol without swaying. But as Mo Xuanyu, the second bottle hit him like a freight train. Which certainly didn't help the oncoming events. Lan Wangji had woken up an hour after passing out, still inebriated, and had gone back downstairs to Wei Wuxian.
The events were all a blur from then on, but it was clear what they had engaged in. It had been a shock for Wei Wuxian to see what was so sacredly hidden under the man's robes. Lan Wangji's outer appearance was masculine. He was taller than Wei Wuxian, technically Mo Xuanyu, with broad shoulders and a sharp jawline. So learning that he actually had the anatomy of a woman was no easy feat to wrap his head around.
"You're- You're a—"
"I am male." Lan Wangji slurred, cutting off Wei Wuxian's statement before it could be uttered. "The Lan's have not birthed a female since the beginning of the sect, starting and ending with Lan An. I am male, Wei Ying. Because it is all I've ever known." Wei Wuxian didn't say anything further after that, completely content with that explanation.
They didn't talk about it afterwards. Wei Wuxian was almost completely sure the man had forgotten about the ordeal entirely; the only thing Wei Wuxian could take away the next day was the memories and the sight of Lan Wangji rubbing his hips every so often with a slight grimace, causing Wei Wuxian to grin wolfishly. But the event was over, the act was done, and they would never need to utter a word of it ever again.
Except it wasn't over. And it would never be entirely over moving forward.
After the loss of the Jin clan leader, Jin Guangyao, things had been in complete disarray for months. The cultivation realm was in scattered pieces. Revelation's about loss, deceit, and long-held grudges had been brought to the surface by the incident.
Wei Wuxian, after visiting Lotus Pier and having the held secret of his golden core revealed, had decided to travel the world with his sworn brother, Wen Qionglin. Lan Sizhui and Lan Wangji wanted to accompany them, but had been firmly denied by Lan Qiren. Lan Xichen had gone into seclusion to reflect on the past events, leaving the Lan clan without a leader. Lan Wangji was compelled to take up the position, which he begrudingly agreed to.
Though he cared deeply for Wei Wuxian, he had important duties he had to uphold.
"Take care of him for me, won't you?" Wei Wuxian had climbed onto little Apple's back, Wen Qionglin holding the reins for him. Lan Sizhui wiped away his recently fallen tears, staring at the man in confusion.
"Come on, we can't both leave Lan Zhan! One of us has gotta stay around to make sure that fuddy duddy doesn't get into any trouble!"
"But, Wei-Qianbei... You are the one who gets into trouble..." Lan Sizhui mumbled, fresh tears growing in his eyes, but smiled fondly at the man's antics.
"That's why I've got Wen Ning! But you, A-Yuan... You've got to take care of Lan Zhan for me... Just until I come back, okay?" Lan Sizhui sniffled once more before nodding firmly, ignoring Lan Wangji's 'I am not a child, I do not need coddling.' To which Wei Wuxian laughed loudly and bid adew.
It was a month after Wei Wuxian's departure, two months after the fall of Jin Guangyao, and seventy two days since the events that had occurred between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.
Any lingering remembrance of that ordeal had completely slipped from Lan Wangji's memory, courtesy of time and alcohol, but the act itself had been embedded in his skin. The lingering shiver wracking through his body at random times, the flush of his skin when blurred images appeared behind closed eyes, and the soft churn of his stomach when thinking of the man.
Lan Wangji had written it off. Anything he had forgotten from that night must have been forgotten for a reason, but physical reactions were not as easy to write off.
At first, it was an aversion to certain meals he had once happily indulged in. Then it was the fatigue that held strongly to his eyelids, begging to close and embrace sleep at random times throughout the day, before the final contendor was actually fainted during one of his morning strolls throughout Gusu. Lan Sizhui had been at his side, a large help throughout bearing this new responsibility thrust onto him, and had not predicted the man he had just been conversing with to sway and then fall back.
"Hanguang-Jun!" Lan Sizhui tried his best to catch the man, but only helped to limit the fall. The disruption had alerted others around, causing Lan cultivators to rush over to the spectacle.
"SIzhui!" Lan Jingyi had pushed his way through the crowd, dropping in front of the two on the ground. "What happened?!"
"I- I don't- he just— fell and—" Lan Sizhui's chest fell heavy, eyes growing glassy. For how calm Lan Sizhui's composure could be, he was still only sixteen, and when his pseudo father figure suddenly passed out with no warning, it had ruffled him.
"O-Okay, it'll be fine. We just need a physician— HEY! SOMEONE STOP GAWKING AND ACTUALLY BE HELPFUL!" Lan Jingyi snapped at the ever-growing crowd, having two people rush off in a hurry to find an elder or physician.
Lan Jingyi turned back to the pair, seeing Lan Sizhui holding Lan Wangji's pale head up from the ground, supporting his upper body on his legs. Still, the boy was panicking, unsure of what to do.
"Hey, Sizhui. Take a breath, okay? We can't have you passing out on us, too." Lan Sizhui looked back up to Lan Jingyi, taking a deep inhale to regulate his breathing.
"Yeah... Yeah, you're right." After finally managing to calm his racing heart, Lan Qiren, followed by a random Lan physician, rushed through the crowd. Despite the situation, Lan Jingyi found it slightly amusing to see the usually composed elder shoulder charge his way through the crowd.
"Make room! Make room! Don't all of you have tasks to complete!? Quit dawdling and hurry!" At Lan Qiren's no-nonsense order, the crowd dispersed. No doubt about breaking Rule 59. Do not gossip.
The lan physician quickly knelt, grabbing Lan Wangji's wrist to feel his Qi for any abnormalities. Suddenly, he paused, before reevaluating again... Then again, and by the fourth time, Lan Qiren had been fed up.
"Well? What are you floundering for? What is it? What ails acting sect leader Wangji?" The physician kept their head down, rethinking how to phrase how to say this.
"Elder Qiren... Hanguang-Jun is with child."
Lan Wangji, no matter how much time passed, would never forget the face of his uncle after he had awoken from his dizzy spell. Lan Qiren was often a stern and unshakeable unit, but sitting beside his youngest nephew, he looked so... Confused, broken. It hurt deeply, knowing he had upset the man who had raised him.
"What troubles you, uncle?" Lan Wangji was sitting up in his cot, finally breaking the silence that stretched between the two. Lan Qiren was no longer looking at Wangji, head lowered in shame as he sighed.
"Wangji... You.." No matter how many times he tried to say what he wished to say, how many times he tried to phrase it right, he would always break off back into a sigh and a head shake.
"Wangji," He finally managed, "You know that you are biologically of the fairer sex, right?" Lan Wangji went rigid. His uncle never mentioned his gender outright. Obviously, he knew he was the one who had orchestrated the change of his birth records, but he never mentioned it beyond that. The closest he ever came was the discreet package of womanly products during his moon cycle.
"Yes, uncle, I am well aware." Lan Wangji started slowly, unaware of how to trek this unknown territory with his uncle. The man just continued to stare before sighing yet again.
"And you are aware of how people... Reproduce?" Lan Wangji's eyes widened. He felt like he was a teenager again, having the 'talk'... Lan Wangji just nodded his head, becoming more and more confused.
"Have you... Ever... With someone...?" Lan Qiren cleared his throat, finding this conversation the hardest he has ever had with someone, let alone his dear nephew.
"Wh-Why is that relevant if I have or have not?" Lan Qiren frowned, as if that were answer enough.
"Wangji, you must be honest with me."
"I am always honest, uncle."
"Then do not ignore the question!"
"Answer mine first, uncle!"
"Wangji!"
"UNCLE!"
"Whoa, everyone, take a breath." Both paused as the physician reentered the room, glancing between the two. "I know the news is shocking, but stress would affect the mother."
"Father."
"What? What mother?" Lan Wangji glanced between both, confused about how they had gotten towards parenting. Mother? Father? Who? And what does that have to do with stress?
"Have you not told him, Grandmaster?" Lan Qiren shook his head, sighing again.
"Would someone please inform me of what you are both discussing? And what does this have to do with my dizzy spell?" The physician and Lan Qiren looked towards each other before Lan Qiren stepped forward.
"Wangji, you are with child."
Lan Wangji was sitting with a hand on his stomach, staring out his window. His meal, perfectly concocted for his now stricter diet, sat abandoned on the table. Privy to popular belief, Lan Wangji's appetite had grown smaller now that he was pregnant. Though that could be attributed to stress.
It had taken the army of Lan Qiren, his doctor, and Lan Sizhui to finally pry open the information about who the father was. If not for the tense atmosphere, Lan Wangji could have possibly chuckled at the flurry of different reactions.
Lan Sizhui had gone completely still, trying to process the information of who the father was. Though after the shock had worn away, he had revealed that it honestly wasn't that shocking.
The physician had stumbled back, turning awfully rigid and jumpy. Apparently, the man was still somewhat afraid of the infamous Yiling Patriarch.
His uncle, however, had actually passed out. But once waking up, had immediately gone to a nearby shrine to pray for his nephew's fate. If Lan Wangji wasn't slightly offended by his uncle's reaction, he would find it amusing.
Unfortunately, a week after the shock had worn off, it was revealed to Lan Wangji that Lan Qiren had sent a messenger bird to wherever Wei Wuxian was stationed. Lan Wangji was certainly not happy. If Lan Wangji had ever had a 'tantrum', this would be best classified. He refused to speak to either Lan Sizhui (who had written the letter) or Lan Qiren (who had filed it) for weeks.
So, there sat Lan Wangji, currently ignoring everyone, sitting by his window. Because he was sitting by his window, he got a perfect view of the man he swore his heart to, unceremoniously jump off his donkey while it was still moving, roll, and proceed to absolutely leg it all the way to the jingshi.
Lan Wangji barely had a moment to think before his door was practically brought down by the man. Wei Wuxian had looked around wildly, scanning the room, until his eyes landed on Lan Wangji's own. Then, after a brief pause and a scan over his whole body, Wei Wuxian catapulted his way over.
"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed, "Is it true? I-Is what your letter said true? A-Are you really--" The man continued to run his fingers all around the man, feeling up his midsection with shock and awe.
"N-Not my letter.." Lan Wangji stuttered, unable to keep the flush from his ears at the blatant groping.
"It is.." Wei Wuxian whispered, unhearing of whatever Lan Wangji had said. "Lan Zhan..." His voice trailed off, staring directly at Lan Wangji's stomach, unmoving. That was before he had wrapped his arms all the way around Lan Wangji and hugged him close.
"I can't believe it! Hah! I can't-- Lan Zhan! Do you have any idea what this means!?" Wei Wuxian cried out, grinning with all his might, ear to ear. "You're pregnant! I can't-- Oh my god! Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji was unable to move, eyes wide as saucers. Was... Was Wei Ying truly happy about all this? From his reaction, it seemed so... They didn't move for a while, Wei Wuxian crying into Lan Wangji's chest, and Lan Wangji running his fingers through the man's hair to comfort him, absolutely dumbfounded by his reaction, and unable to comprehend how the man was truly feeling.
Wei Wuxian had been staying in Cloud Recesses ever since he learned of the news, unwilling to leave Lan Wangji's side for longer than a minute. It would be exhausting if it weren't for Lan Wangji's own embarrassing need to cling to the man tenfold.
News had spread all around the realm of cultivation. A few were sceptical, unbelieving how a man could get pregnant, (News of Lan Wangji's gender anatomy was not revealed for discretion, but some had become aware), but a few days after, gifts had started to arrive from sect leaders. Some were obviously in hopes of gaining allies, but some were genuine, much like the new sect leader, Jin Rulan's gift. It was genuine, but not great.
"What could our baby possibly do with nunchucks? Is that boy stupid?" Wei Wuxian held the gift up towards Lan Wangji, and Lan Wangji only shook his head fondly.
After Jin Ling's gift, a discreet gift had been left by Cloud Recess, it was unlabelled, and had no disciples there to deliver, but the gift was answer enough.
"Is that... a clarity bell, Wei Ying?" Wei Wuxian had his back to Lan Wangji, silent, but the slight tremble of his shoulders was answer enough.
With news travelling fast, Lan Qiren had been insistent for the pair to reveal their news in person to a specific individual.
"No." Lan Wangji crossed his arms in front of his chest, unwilling to change his mind.
"Come, Wangji. He is still your brother." Lan Qiren sighed (He seemed fond of doing that recently), which had caused Lan Wangji to waver.
"Hell no. If Lan Zhan wants nothing to do with that prick, then he doesn't have to. I'm not too fond of him either."
"Wei Wuxian, appreciating the input, but this is family business." Which was formal for 'Butt out.'
"Hey. This is my kid, too, and if Lan Zhan wants nothing to do with Zewu Jun, then he shouldn't need to! Must I remind you, the guy stuck his younger brother with his damn job after the second 'war' to clean up his partial mess?"
"He went into seclusion to reflect."
"Reflect shmeflect! He still ran off 'cause he's a coward!"
"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji shouted. He may be cross with his brother, but he still cares deeply for him. With intervention from Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian backed off. Lan Wangji turned back to his uncle and sighed.
"We will go." It was clear Wei Wuxian wanted to butt in once more at the obvious begdrudging agree, but Lan Wangji just softly shook his head. It was decided that they would visit Lan Xichen to reveal the news of his brother's pregnancy.
A few days later, they trudged up the mountain to the area of seclusion. The higher the status, the higher you climbed to the mountain to seclude yourself. Wei Wuxian was adamant that Lan Wangji ride a donkey on his way up; too much movement could cause fatal damage to the fetus, and Lan Wangji didn't deny his fear.
"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji stared down at the man who was currently leading them.
"Yeah, Lan Zhan?"
"I worry, you shouldn't have to trek all the way up on foot. Allow us to do intervals." Wei Wuxian waved him off.
"Lan Zhan! You wound me! Are you saying I am too unfit to travel up one measly mountain? I am offended!" Lan Wangji sighed, shaking his head. This man...
They made it all the way up in no time, Wei Wuxian carefully picking up Lan Wangji off the donkey and placing him onto the ground.
"Wei Ying, I am pregnant. Not invalid." Wei Wuxian waved him off again and walked towards the hut in which Lan Xichen was staying out of his seclusion in peace.
"Wangji? Wei Wuxian? To what do I owe this trip?" Lan Xichen appeared around the side of the hut, covered in dirt and grime. He took off his gardening gloves, placing them on a barrel by the door.
"Seems you've kept yourself busy, Sect leader— Oops, my bad. Zewu Jun." The slight tick in Lan Xichen's jaw from Wei Wuxian's obvious jab was apparent, with Wei Wuxian grinning like a madman.
"Enough." Lan Wangji jabbed Wei Wuxian's side, clearing his throat.
"Brother. I have news." Lan XIchen paused for a moment before allowing them inside. Wei Wuxian had immediately grabbed a cushion for Lan Wangji to sit on.
"Oh? Is this to be a long conversation? It is lovely that you visited me, Wangji. But I am still in seclusion, and must not have visitors for too long." Wei Wuxian glared fiercely.
"Even after your brother travelled up half a mountain to visit you? Where is the courtesy, Zewu-Jun?" Lan Wangji grabbed Wei Wuxian's arm, shaking his head to stop, but still, Lan Xichen continued.
"I apologise if I do not seem like a courteous host, but you both showed up without warning." Though Lan Xichen was still smiling, his words did not cut any less.
"You—"
"Enough!" Lan Wangji slammed his hand on the low table in front of him, his outburst causing both Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen to stop and stare at him in shock. "I do not wish here to be longer than I need to." Lan Wangji turned from Wei Wuxian to Lan Xichen.
"Brother, I am pregnant." Lan Wangji spoke, no hesitation or anything, clearly fed up with the atmosphere, ignoring Lan Xichen's pale face.
"Wangji—"
"Good. Wei Ying, let's go." Lan Wangji held out his arm, allowing Wei Wuxian to carefully haul him to his feet.
"Wangji—!"
No, brother. I do not wish to interrupt your seclusion. Do not mind us, I have said my peace and am done with it." Lan Wangji promptly turned to the door, leaving without another word, Wei Wuxian following behind smugly.
"Xichen." Lan Qiren greeted. He had decided that after two days of no word from Lan Wangji on how their visit went, he would see his nephew himself.
"Uncle." Lan Xichen drawled, his complexion still hadn't healed from its pale colour, still reeling from his brother's news. He had already moved away from the door, allowing his uncle entry.
"So, I assume you know of your brother's condition?" Lan Xichen had just sighed, grabbing a cup of tea for himself and his uncle. Lan Qiren took his silence as confirmation. "And?"
"And what, Uncle? What do you expect me to do with that information?"
"I expect you to end your seclusion and take your position back." Lan Xichen had frozen, slowly looking back up at his uncle with clear bewilderment.
"Excuse me? What does his pregnancy have to do with my seclusion?"
"What does— Xichen, your brother, is about to start a family. Wei Wuxian and I have already begun organising a swift ceremony for the pair! You cannot truly believe your brother would be able to manage a whole sect while he's pregnant!"
"And how is that my issue, Uncle?"
"You are the sect leader! Your brother has only been filling in! It is time for you to quit this silly farce and get back home!"
"I am not ready!"
"Xichen!"
"What, Uncle?! A seclusion is, however long the cultivator decides for themselves! I say I am not ready, so I am not! Find someone else to hold the position! Why can't you do it? You have done it for years already!" Lan Xichen got up from his seat, already pacing.
"I am ready to retire! Go into seclusion myself!"
"Then... Then train Sizhui to do it! He was always meant to be my successor anyway!"
"The boy is sixteen, Xichen! He can not possibly take up such a position!"
"Why not!? Jin Rulan is only fifteen, and he has taken the position of Jin sect leader! Right after his own uncle died!" Lan Qiren froze, pale.
"Xichen... That is unfair. The boy had no choice. His father, the rightful sect leader, had died. By the hands of Jin Guangyao." Lan Xichen flinched, frozen in his stead.
"Don't... Don't you dare say his name, Uncle. I'm not... Not ready." Lan Xichen grabbed his sword and flute, quickly leaving the hut. "I refuse," Lan Xichen said by the doorway. "Find someone else." And with that, he left. leaving his uncle frozen as he watched his nephew walk farther and farther away.
Lan Wangji was in his seventh month of pregnancy, and he had truly popped, as Wei Wuxian liked to say.
"Forget a single radish, you're growing a whole patch in there!" Wei Wuxian would joke, bumping his shoulder into Lan Sizhui's as he howled. Lan Wangji would just shake his head every time.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had been wed only a month after the debacle with his brother. Lan Wangji was unsure of what exactly had happened up there. He had asked his uncle, but all the man had replied with was a sigh and a shake of his head as he walked off.
The man had been stoic with the days after, but it was clear with the weight his shoulders sagged, that the man was mourning his relationship with his uncle. If it weren't for the upcoming nuptials, Lan Wangji was sure the man would suffocate with grief.
Lan Wangji had been slightly showing by then, so each robe of his had to be altered. It was embarrassing at first, picking out wedding garments to complement his bump, but seeing the absolute shine in his betrothed's eyes made up for it.
If Lan Wangji was certain of one thing, he was certain of Wei Wuxian's genuine adoration of their child.
But adoring their child was nowhere close to adoring Lan Wangji.
And that has been what's affected Lan Wangji most with this arrangement.
Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian; that is not in question, but does Wei Wuxian love Lan Wangji?
Obviously not.
He may appreciate the man for carrying their child, but it isn't love. At least not the way Lan Wangji loves him.
This would all be fine. As he's said before, being by Wei Wuxian's side was enough. It was the immense guilt he felt for forcing Wei Wuxian to be his husband that ate him day in and day out.
It was no secret how strained the previous Lan clan leader and Lan Wangji's mother's relationship was. Madame Lan was trapped in 'seclusion' until she met her end. Lan Wangji had dealt with that grief all his life. Knowing that if he and Lan Xichen had never been born, then their mother would be free.
Much like Wei Wuxian.
Of course, Lan Wangji knows Wei Wuxian would never blame their child, or even Lan Wangji for that matter, but Lan Wangji does. He blames himself. If he hadn't gotten drunk, if he had been more careful, if he hadn't been born the way he was!
Lan Wangji would never regret their child together. He loves them more than life itself, and would never trade them for anything, but thinking this way is the problem! It makes him so selfish.
Lan Wangji knows for certain that if he had a choice, in every lifetime he could ever repeat, he would always choose to get pregnant with Wei Wuxian's child. Trap Wei Wuxian in the Cloud Reccesses, force him to stay by his side! To never let the man leave again!
"Disgusting." Lan Wangji muttered, placing his herbal tea on the side table.
"Is it not to your liking, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian sat by his legs, grabbing his feet and working out the aching muscles that had irritated his swollen feet.
"I'm sorry, husband... But you must drink it, for the baby." Wei Wuxian frowned, always so empathetic when it came to Lan Wangji. That was another thing, the man was so considerate. Never complaining, never faulting Lan Wangji for his hormonal tantrums, always there to lend a shoulder to cry on, or always there to scream at, vent out his frustrations.
"Mn." Lan Wangji sighed, not wishing to cause any more trouble for Wei Wuxian, and grabbed the tea.
"I know it sucks, Lan Zhan... I'm sorry you have to go through this..."
Why are you apologising? I'm the one who got pregnant...
Lan Wangji clenched his fists, frustrated beyond belief. He glanced down at Wei Wuxian, seeing the man carefully massage his feet. Unable to bear it, he took his foot back.
"Stop it." He grumbled, looking away.
"Sorry, did I hurt you?" Again with the care! Enough! I don't deserve it!
"Leave."
"Lan Zhan—"
"Leave!" Lan Wangji snapped, feeling inestimably worse at the hurt look Wei Wuxian had mawed on his face. But he couldn't abuse the man's sincerity any longer. He just couldn't.
"Okay, Lan Zhan... I'll get out of your hair. Just please drink the tea, okay? I don't want you or Baobei getting hurt." Lan Wangji nodded absently, unable to reply or even look at the man's expression any longer. Receiving no reply, Wei Wuxian left quietly.
Lan Wangji had been feeling some abdominal pain in recent days. he was close to his thirty-fifth week of pregnancy, so his stomach was almost at its maximum size before birth. The baby had been causing him a few issues days before. The kicking had been getting more aggressive, and flutters often went throughout his stomach, like movement.
The physician had confirmed that the movement was most likely the baby starting to turn, which was apparently good news, meaning a breech birth was unlikely. He hadn't told the doctor about the recent cramping; in all honesty, his mind had been constant.
His thoughts had begun to spiral into dangerous territory. He had at first brushed it off as pregnancy hormones, but those terrible ideas hadn't ceased. The further along in his pregnancy, the more worry for his future increased.
He worried about Wei Wuxian. That after the baby was born, he would be well and truly trapped. What had frightened him more was the excited thrill he got at that idea. That Wei Wuxian would be his for eternity. And once he thought that, the cramping would double.
That is to say, today had been quite easy for Lan Wangji. No cramping, if anything, he was more energised! His hips had ached slightly, and a constant movement in his abdomen erupted, but it didn't hurt.
"Shifting, right." Lan Wangji sighed, rubbing his bump.
"My lovely husband!" Wei Wuxian had strolled into their joined bedroom, grinning widely. The man was clearly happy, which only affected Lan Wangji. The voice in the back of his head, practically mute compared to his other thoughts, told him that perhaps Wei Wuxian was actually happy married to him. It sang to him like a siren, but he shook those thoughts away. Preposterous.
"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji greeted him with his own soft smile.
"How is my dear Baobei doing today, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian knelt on his knees, nuzzling his nose against Lan Wangji's protruding belly button, which never failed to send full-body shudders all over.
"Good." Wei Wuxian hummed, actually believing his husband for once.
"Good! That means I get to hang out with my Baobei without my cranky husband batting me away!" Wei Wuxian cackled when he saw Lan Wangji pout.
"Unfortunately, I cannot. I have important business today." Wei Wuxian's lighthearted smile fell from his face.
"Today? Really? But you're nearly due!"
"I still have a month before I am anywhere near due, Wei Ying. And this sect needs a leader. Until my brother is out of seclusion, I am in charge."
"That damn scumbag. He should have manned up by now and taken this shit off your hands!"
"Wei Ying."
"What? Am I not right? You're his little brother who is pregnant. You shouldn't have to deal with this crap!"
"I am only younger by an hour, Wei Ying." Wei Wuxian had grumbled something under his breath at that.
"Whatever. Isn't your uncle supposed to be taking over soon, anyway?"
"Uncle is elderly. He gave up his position years ago. He shouldn't have to take it again."
"You shouldn't have to either, Lan Zhan!"
"Wei Ying."
"Lan Zhan! You know I'm right! God, when will your family ever put you first—"
"Wei Wuxian!"
"Lan WangJI!" Wei Wuxian seethed, panting. They both stared at each other, both reeling from their fight. That was before Wei Wuxian had gotten up from his seat, walking away without another word.
After a moment to catch his breath, Lan Wangji felt terrible. Wei Wuxian wasn't wrong in what he had said. He certainly could have said it nicer, but he wasn't wrong. Lan Wangji suddenly winced at the sharp cramp in his abdomen.
"You're right, Baobei. Diedie keeps screwing up, huh? I should go apologise to your baba." Lan Wangji carefully stood up from his seat, already moving to go apologise, before he froze, those pestering thoughts rising once more.
"Is this how our lives are going to be, Baobei? Will your Diedie keep screwing up? Can't I do anything right..." His eyes filled with thick tears, a common occurrence in the last few months. He didn't want to keep hurting Wei Wuxian, but that was all he had been doing.
"Baobei... I can't hurt him anymore... I can't... All I've done is be a burden to him..." Lan Wangji sniffled, unable to hold back his emotions. He used to go to school so easily. Without thinking, he had begun to pack a bag.
"Only the essentials," He mumbled as he shoved a few large robes into his luggage, along with some rations and supplies. He contemplated for a moment, eyes growing even more cloudy before he ultimately decided.
"I don't deserve to wear this ribbon with pride. I have shamed the sect, and I have shamed my family." Lan Wangji carefully took off his headband, clutching it tightly for a moment before leaving it carefully on his pillow. Getting up from his crouching position was a pain; his cramping had begun once again, more insistent this time.
"I know, Baobei... Your Diedie is such a screw-up." He carefully left the Jingshi, stopping by the stables to grab little Apple. The said donkey was insistent in staying within the barn, carefully nudging Lan Wangji back, sniffing at his bump.
"Enough. Let's go." Only after grabbing an apple did the donkey finally relinquish its soft nudging. Lan Wangji climbed onto their back and rode out of the Cloud Recesses. At the entrance, he carefully left his jade token on a stone just outside.
Lan Wangji travelled with no sense of direction. He only drifted farther and farther away. His eyes stayed clouded with brimming tears, and his face was sticky from soft droplets that had travelled down. His stomach continued to cramp, more intensely now, in intervals.
Though he had written it off as feelings of regret, the donkey below him had started to bray incessantly, trying to turn around to head back, to which Lan Wangji vehemently refused.
"No. I mustn't head back. Wei Wuxian would do better without us. It is what's right." Lan Wangji carefully wiped away a tear that had fallen under his chin, holding his head high. Only after a strong cramp did he finally stop, wincing. He carefully got down from Apple, clutching his stomach. His eyes had nearly bugged out when he felt it.
"No... No, this cannot be happening..." Lan Wangji muttered, staring down at the growing stain on his garments. A trickle that he was unable to control, something that was most definitely fluid.
"No... No..." Lan Wangji held his bump, carefully crouching down under a tree, trying to support his cramping stomach.
"Why now...? It is too early... Too early... Agh..." Lan Wangji bit down hard on his lower lip, trying to hold in the tight moans that begged to be released. He couldn't do this. He could not possibly do this!
"I can't... Not here..." Lan Wangji stumbled over to the donkey, holding on tightly to its reins.
"This way... We must go this way..." He carefully guided the donkey in a specific direction, moving on autopilot as the donkey assisted his swaying movements.
Cloud Reccesses had been in an uproar. Lan Qiren had been out in Caiyi, Lan Sizhui had been out on a hunt, along with a large number of Cultivators, and Wei Wuxian was about to lose his head. He hadn't left the man for too long. It had been almost instant when the guilt hit him. He knew he was in the wrong, yelling at his pregnant beloved like that, talking badly about his heart's family; it was stupid. So unbelievably stupid. The only reason he hadn't run back to the Jingshi was that he had believed letting Lan Wangji cool off to be the best solution.
"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." Wei Wuxian cursed as he ran around all of Cloud Reccesses. When he had seen his husband's treasured headband lying on his pillow, with the man not in sight, he knew something was amiss. He had immediately noticed the missing clothing, then the missing donkey, before finally finding this husbands abandoned jade token. It was obvious Lan Wangji was not abducted and had chosen to leave himself, but that had only hurt Wei Wuxian more.
Wei Wuxian wasn't an idiot. He knew his husband had been miserable as he was pregnant, and so he did his best to cater to his beloved's every need, which were often shot down outright. But Wei Wuxian had assumed it was because of the pregnancy, not because of himself.
"Was Lan Zhan truly so miserable being married to me?" Wei Wuxian sprinted throughout all of Cloud Reccesses, asking every disciple present if they had seen his husband, then immediately ordering them to gather more people for a wide hunt.
"He couldn't have left the mountain by now, Master Wei!" One disciple quickly tried to reassure.
"It's not him leaving that worries me. It's his condition." With the mention of Master Lan's pregnancy, the lot of disciples moved evidently faster.
"Should someone inform Sect leader Lan of his brother's disappearance?" Wei Wuxian had at first scowled at the mention of that deadbeat, but then the brief thought that perhaps Lan Wangji had gone to see his brother for help crossed his mind; they had been arguing about him in the first place.
"I will go check, you three, search the mountains, you two, go inform Grandmaster in Caiyi. And someone send a message to all the lan Cultivators not present-- Scratch that! Not all Cultivators are present. I don't care what sect they're from! I need Lan Zhan found immediately!" With the chorus of 'right' from the crowd, they all dispersed. Wei Wuxian had immediately booked it up the hill.
"Having a fucking flying sword would have done wonders by now." Wei Wuxian grumbled, grabbing his old flute from his room, playing a few recognisable notes he knew by heart. Resentment flew all around him, but still he continued to play.
"Master Wei? To what do I owe the pleasure of today—"
"Enough. Where's Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian all but growled, making Lan Xichen pause.
"What? Well, he's not here— Wait... Did you lose my brother?" Wei Wuxian bit his lower lip. He wasn't there... Where was he? With no reply, Lan Xichen clenched his fists, seething.
"You lost my little brother. My pregnant little brother!?" Lan Xichen shot up from his seat, socking Wei Wuxian right in the cheek, making the man stumble back.
"What the FUCK!?" Wei Wuxian held his bruising cheek, staring in shock.
"How could you!? How could you lose him!?"
"I didn't lose him! He ran off!"
"Why!? What did you do."
"Nothing I—..." Wei Wuxian looked down, tears brimming in his eyes.
"Absolutely nothing. I did nothing to stop him." He fell back into a seat behind him, voice cracking as he held his cheek, his other hand fisting. "We got in a fight, and he was... so mad. I-I thought... I thought if I left him alone, he would calm down... I didn't think he hated me so much that he would run away..." Wei Wuxian sniffled, looking back up to see that Lan Xichen had disappeared.
"HEY! WHAT—" He turned to look out the window, watching as the once esteemed Zewu Jun absolutely book it down the mountain. Wei Wuxian had floundered for a second before sprinting straight after.
Lan Wangji panted, sliding down to sit on the front steps of the hut in front of him. His breathing was ragged as he whimpered. It hurt so much. It felt like his insides wanted to become his outsides.
"Slow down, Baobei... Fuck, no... You're too early..." He whined, clutching the front of his robes between his tight-fisted fingers. Tears were flowing down like waterfalls; it all felt so hopeless.
Lan Wangji's head suddenly snapped up when he heard it. The soft notes of a familiar song, the song that sent more sobbing tears to his eyes. His Wei Ying had found him.
"Wangji!" Someone broke through the large overgrowth, looking around frantically.
"Brother?" Lan Wangji was speechless; he couldn't believe his eyes.
"LAN ZHAN!" Wei Wuxian had tumbled out from behind his brother, and even bigger mess. Locking eyes with Lan Wangji, he dashed straight towards him.
"Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, you... You idiot!" Wei Wuxian sobbed, falling to his knees in front of the man, clutching his legs, and cried. Lan Wangji's heart hurt seeing the sight, unable to look directly at it.
"Why..? Why would you do that! If you truly wanted to leave me, I wouldn't have stopped you! Please, Lan Zhan! Don't run away like that again! What if you had hurt Baobei!?" Wei Wuxian continued to sob, his snotty tears falling helplessly onto Lan Wangji, who was frozen in shock.
"Leave you? Why would I leave you?" Lan Wangji was dumbfounded, and Wei Wuxian even more so.
"What? You did leave!" Lan Wangji sheepishly looked away.
"I... Didn't want to leave you... I just couldn't bear it anymore..." Lan Wangji's voice broke by the end of it, and Wei Wuxian had paled.
"You.. Don't mean... Baobei?" Lan Wangji immediately froze up, shaking his head.
"No! No, not Baobei! You!" Wei Wuxian had crumpled again, and Lan Wangji quickly shook his head again.
"No, I mean, I... I couldn't bear watching you... Care for me, knowing it was my fault you were stuck here..."
"Your fault? Lan Zhan, I don't get it.."
"I couldn't bear knowing that I strapped you down to me because I got pregnant..." Lan Wangji lowered his head in shame, softly crying. Wei Wuxian's mouth had dropped wide open.
"What? Trapped me. Lan Zhan..." Wei Wuxian grabbed both of his husband's hands in his, making Lan Wangji look back at him. "You haven't trapped me anywhere. I want to be here with you. I want to start a family with you, Baobei, and A-yuan... Lan Zhan... You're the love of my life— Of both my lives!" Lan Wangji stared at Wei Wuxian, unbelieving of what he was hearing.
"But... But I got pregnant, and you were forced to marry me--"
"Getting pregnant goes both ways, and I would have married you in a heartbeat any day of the week, baby or no baby."
"But you wanted to travel..." Wei Wuxian sheepishly scratched his head.
"To be fully honest, I missed you, like, an hour after we left... Jeez, that's so corny..." Wei Wuxian chuckled, cheeks rosy. "Wen Ning had to physically hold me from turning around..." Lan Wangji pouted. That damn Wen.
"Really? You really like me?"
"Like you? Dammit, Lan Zhan! I'm crazy about you! Have been for years! It was kinda spooky..." Lan Wangji's ears flushed.
"I've been... Crazy about you too..." Wei Wuxian grinned widely, kissing Lan Wangji straight on the lips, causing the man to freeze. They hadn't kissed properly since their wedding day, aside from a few smooches when Wei Wuxian was feeling extra dopey. How had Lan Wangji ever believed this man was not completely in love with him?
"Agh, fuck..." Lan Wangji cringed, holding his bump again, causing Wei Wuxian to immediately flounder.
"What? What is it? Fuck, is it the baby? Too much stress? Crap, okay okay... We'll get you back to cloud recesses to get looked at—"
"It's too late, Wei Ying... I'm already on labour." Wei Wuxian immediately froze, unable to move. His face went pale as a sheet. Lan Xichen immediately moved Wei Wuxian out of the way, grabbing his little brother and hoisting him up, bringing him inside.
"Wangji... You chose this place?" Lan Xichen frowned, glancing at the dusty decor he had grown to know so well in his childhood.
"This was the first place I could think of..." Lan Wangji whimpered as Lan Xichen gently placed him on the soft bedding.
"Fuck, what would mom think of me now...? I failed you, Wangji..." Lan Xichen couldn't help but self-deprecate, making Lan Wangji glare at him.
"What would she think of us? We're both screw-ups, now help me take off my robes."
"I was amazing during delivery! Lan Zhan's shining armour!" Wei Wuxian puffed out his chest, ignoring Lan Wangji's soft, fond headshake.
"What do you mean? You froze up immediately after Wangji said he was in labour." Lan Xichen smiled, but it was clearly mocking.
"You cannot talk, brother. You fainted the moment the head started to come out. If it wasn't for Physician Lan's quick arrival,"
"Nonsense, Hanguang Jun, you are the true hero of the event." The physician quietly walked into the room, carefully supporting the newest Lan in their arms, placing them on Lan Wangji's chest.
"I second that, my Lan Zhan is amazing! But next time, let's stay in Cloud Reccesses, kay?" Lan Qiren sputtered dramatically, growing deathly pale.
"And if you ever want to visit mother's old residence again, please do so after you've had the baby. I'm sure she appreciated the thought, but she would much rather you not have your children on her old bedding." Lan Wangji just shook his head fondly.
The doors slammed open as two teenagers filed in. Lan Jingyi was panting, looking around the room, only silencing after getting a firm smack up the back of his head by Wei Wuxian.
"You'll wake up, Baobei, you moron!" He whisper-yelled at the teen who was sheepishly rubbing his bruised head.
"Baobei? Has Hanguang Jun had the baby?" Lan Sizhui stepped forward, infentesimously more quieter than their counterpart. Wei Wuxian walked over, guiding the boy closer to Lan Wangji.
"Don't be a stranger, A-Yuan. Say hello to your new sister." Lan Sizhui gasped softly, his eyes growing cloudy.
"But... I thought the line of Lan females starts and ends with Lan An..." Lan Wangji smiled and shook his head.
"Outdated rule. I will not force my child to change their gender for their sect. They are what they choose to be." Lan Wangji stared fondly down at his baby girl. Lan Qiren stepped forward slightly, head lowered in shame.
"Wangji, I—"
"Just like my baby gets to decide what gender they want in the future," Lan Wangji interrupted. "So do I. And I am male, Uncle." Lan Qiren smiled softly, staring at both his nephew and great niece.
"M-May I hold my... My... B-Baby sister?" Lan Sizhui blinked back his tears, voice shaky. Lan Wangji nodded, and Wei Wuxian guided Lan Sizhui to sit down, carefully helping the boy to support his sister's head.
"There, you're a natural! Guess who's our future babysitter, Lan Zhan?" Lan Wangji shook his head fondly at the remark.
Lan Wangji was perfectly happy — content — with just being by Wei Wuxian's side; he had lost the love of his life once, he couldn't bear to lose him again.
But fortunately, he wouldn't ever have to worry about that ever again. And he is so blessed that he can call this man his husband and father of his children.