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“Solas!” The Inquisitor cried as she sat up in bed.
Cold sweat covered her trembling body, and tears streamed from her eyes. It took a moment for her to realize she was safe in her own chambers and not in that Ferelden dungeon. She wrapped her arms around her knees as she fought to calm her ragged breathing, but the tears still continued down her face.
~~~
“Solas, save her! She needs your help! She needs you right now!”
The tiny spirit was insistent—frantic. Something was wrong with the Inquisitor, and she needed his help.
Tearing himself from his dreams, Solas scrambled from his bed, grabbed his staff, and raced for the Inquisitor’s quarters. Whatever was hurting her would pay dearly.
“Inquisitor! Inquisitor!” Solas shouted as he raced up the stairs two at a time.
Upon reaching the top landing, Solas froze. He’d burst in prepared for a battle, but what he found instead was quite different. Inquisitor Lavellan was sitting in bed, staring at him in wide-eyed shock. She clutched her blanket in her elegant hands, and the moonlight on her pale skin and hair was breathtaking.
“Uh…Ir abelas, Lethallan,” Solas muttered awkwardly, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I was told by a spirit that you were in trouble. It seems I was tricked by a spirit of mischief or something of the sort…If you will excuse—”
“Please,” Her trembling voice caused him to look up again, and it was then he noticed the crystalline tracks of tears down her perfect cheeks. “Please, don’t go.”
“Inquisitor?” Solas frowned and tilted his head to the side.
Eira felt her lips trembling as more tears welled up in her eyes. Just moments after she’d called for him, Solas had rushed into her chambers prepared for battle. In her shock, she said the first thing that came to her mind. Now that she was returning to herself, her cheeks flushed red, and she shook her head.
“Forgive me,” she spoke to the bed sheets. “That was terribly forward of me. Don’t concern yourself on my account.”
“Inquisitor,” Solas’s voice was the gentlest Eira had ever heard it. “What troubles you?”
The Inquisitor hesitated a moment, staring at her hands.
“You told me in Haven that you didn’t want to know what I saw of your future,” she sighed. “It was months ago. I tried to forget it. I barely even knew you—”
Eira stopped and released a grim laugh.
“I barely know you now,” she continued. “But…”
She looked up and met Solas’s gaze. The pain of realization crossed his features as he approached and sat on the end of her bed.
“But it haunts you still,” he finished for her.
Eira lowered her gaze, unable to answer. Suddenly, one of Solas’s strong hands wrapped around hers. It was calloused from years of wielding a staff.
“Please tell me if it will help you, Inquisitor,” he said softly. Eira hesitated, staring at their clasped hands. Solas gently lifted her chin. “Please?”
The Inquisitor took a steadying breath. She closed her eyes, sending a new wave of tears down her cheeks.
“You were imprisoned. The Iron Bull was there too,” Her voice trembled as she spoke. “They’d given you red lyrium, and you told me you were dying.”
Eira glanced up to see Solas smiling sadly at her. It was the same expression he gave her when he told her the news in Redcliffe, and it made her heart ache. She proceeded to tell him the entire terrible story.
When she reached the end, visions of his body being dragged through the door of the dungeon assaulted her mind. She clearly saw the dagger-like claws, dripping with his blood, as they dropped him on the floor like a discarded toy.
The words she needed to tell him what she saw knotted and tangled in the back of her throat, forming a lump that suddenly choked her. She pressed her lips together and shook her head, scattering the terrible images.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “You must think this all ridiculous.”
“I think nothing of the sort,” The gentle nature of Solas’s reply caused Eira to look up. He was watching her with pity and understanding. “I think you watched people you care about suffer an unimaginable fate, and I think you are experiencing a very natural reaction to such a trauma.”
There was a moment of silence in which only her quiet sniffling could be heard. Finally, Solas spoke again.
“Fortunately, thanks to your action with Dorian, that future became only a distant, thwarted possibility. You saved us.”
“Did I?” The pain in Eira’s eyes startled him. “Or did I only delay and prolong that fate? I saw what happens if I fail. Only now, I’ve angered Corypheus more. What if I fail now and doom you to even worse a fate?”
Solas smiled softly and stood. He crossed his arms and paced for a quiet moment, thinking. Then, he returned and offered the Inquisitor a hand.
“Come with me,” he said quietly.
She took his outstretched hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. As Eira left the bedcovers behind, the sight of the short, silky nightgown dancing around her willowy form caused Solas’s heart to skip a beat, and he reluctantly tore his eyes away as he led her to the balcony. Turning to the right, he released her hand and began climbing the stones that protruded from the wall.
“Solas?” The Inquisitor’s lips tugged into a confused smile as she watched his ascent.
“Come,” he smiled down at her, offering her a hand.
When they were both safely on the roof, Solas sat and patted the space beside him. He leaned back and gazed up at the stars while Eira got comfortable beside him.
“When my dreams trouble me or I need to clear my mind, I find that watching the stars is an excellent way to relax,” Solas informed her quietly.
“It’s beautiful,” Eira whispered.
Not a cloud could be seen in the night sky, and the crisp, snowy air was refreshing on Eira’s skin, though it caused her to shiver.
“Are you cold, my lady?” Concern flashed in Solas’s eyes.
“I’m all right,” Eira gazed upward with a peaceful expression. The starlight glistened in her beautiful eyes, and a smile suddenly lit her face. “Fen’Harel is watching over us tonight.”
“What?” For a moment, Solas’s heart skipped, and he stared at her in shock. She didn’t notice. She was looking at the stars.
“That constellation, there. It’s Fen’Harel,” Eira pointed an elegant finger to the east. “At least, that’s what my clan’s Keeper always told us. See him?”
“The Dread Wolf,” Solas chewed the inside of his cheek. “I wouldn’t think you’d be so excited to see a reminder of him.”
“My Keeper always said that too. Everyone thought it was strange that I felt so strongly about him,” Eira blushed slightly.
“They say he betrayed the other gods,” Solas watched her searchingly.
“And I say they’re wrong,” Eira turned a piercing stare on him. He was instantly taken aback by the ferocity in that expression.
“Oh?” Solas arched an eyebrow, genuinely interested in what this odd woman would say next.
“Forgive me,” she laughed lightly, her cheeks blushing a brilliant red once more. It reached all the way to her ears, and Solas couldn’t help but smile. “My ideas on the Dread Wolf are…unconventional.”
“I would love to hear them,” Solas readjusted himself to be slightly closer to her.
Eira laughed again, turning her gentle smile back up to the stars.
“I’ve always been bothered by the story they tell of Fen’Harel,” she spoke with firm persuasion. “It’s always seemed…wrong. Why would he turn on the other gods without cause? He had to have reasons. I think something terrible happened, and Fen’Harel received the blame as a result of the people’s need for a scapegoat…much the same way my guilt was assumed when I survived the explosion at the Conclave.”
“What would make you think that?” Solas tilted his head to the side, and Eira couldn’t interpret the look on his face.
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I just always have.”
Silence lingered between them for a moment before Eira spoke again.
“When I was very young, my clan had recently moved our camp. The Keeper had just told us the story of Fen’Harel, and I was punished for arguing about it,” Eira looked in quiet reminiscence. “I was so upset that I ran off into the woods. I ended up getting lost, and a storm came in, removing all traces of my trail. I was alone and scared, and I remember wishing that Fen’Harel would come and save me.”
“Did he?” Solas pressed her with genuine curiosity. A faint smile lingered on his lips.
“I suppose he did,” Eira shook her head with a shy laugh. “When the storm was over, a wolf appeared from nowhere. Like the child I was, I was sure Fen’Harel had come for me. Without fear, I ran toward the beast, and he calmly went ahead of me. He would trot away and then wait for me to follow—always looking back to be sure I was still there. He led me all the way back to my camp, and then he disappeared. You can imagine the reaction when I insisted Fen’Harel had saved me.”
“It is a wonder he didn’t eat you,” Solas teased, but something about her story stirred something deep within him, warming his heart.
“That is how my Keeper responded,” Eira nodded.
“I suppose the wolf sensed your spirit. Such noble beasts usually can.”
“My…spirit?” Eira arched an eyebrow.
“It is rare,” Solas spoke with sincerity. “And it is beautiful. Few possess such wisdom as you.”
That brilliant red returned to Eira’s pale cheeks, and she lowered her face. Solas saw a shiver run through her.
“Wait here, Inquisitor,” Solas stood and jumped down to the balcony. He returned a moment later with blankets and pillows. “If we are going to remain here, you should be more comfortable.”
“Thank you, Solas,” Eira smiled as she lay back and pulled a blanket over her arms. “Won’t you join me?”
Now it was Solas’s turn to blush.
“I—” he stammered.
“I meant nothing by it,” Eira looked away. “Only…you must also be cold, and I don’t mind sharing the blankets if you don’t.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Solas slid onto the pallet he’d made and positioned himself next to the Inquisitor. The bare skin of their arms touched, and Solas felt his heart beat faster. To cover his growing anxiety, Solas began a story.
“Once, I met a spirit of protection when I was wandering the Fade…”
~~~
Hours passed peacefully. The moments had been so enjoyable that Solas would have failed to mark the time had he not been watching the moon’s slow march across the skies. At the Inquisitor’s pressing, Solas had told her story after story of his journeys through the Fade. Each one seemed to fascinate her more than the last, and her curiosity was both disarming and endlessly endearing to the ancient elf.
He had never met another with such a connection to the Fade, and he never would have expected such a person to be a Dalish hunter. However, Inquisitor Lavellan’s mind was wide open to the possibilities of the past and the future, and Solas found himself drawn to her as if by some spell.
A contented sigh drew him from his thoughts, and a smile found its way to his lips when he glanced over to see Eira had fallen asleep. He reached over fondly and moved a strand of her hair away from her eyes. His fingers paused on the green ink that marred her perfect features.
The vallaslin.
Solas had removed such markings from countless faces. He always viewed them with anger and resentment. They were a brand of slavery—a claim the evanuris placed on their property. They were the symbol of everything he’d fought to stop—everything he had destroyed the world in order to end.
Now, though, as he lay beneath the stars next to this beautiful creature, Solas felt only sadness. Despite all his efforts, the world was not made better. It was broken, and his new mission was to set right what he’d done. Eira’s people—those he had previously freed—foolishly clung to a false past. They exalted those who enslaved them and demonized the one who rebelled on their behalf. Perhaps he deserved such treatment. After all, the veil he erected to seal away the evanuris and their evil severed the connection to the magic of the world.
At least there was one person who didn’t agree with popular opinion. At least there was one who still believed he was good—even when he doubted that himself.
She was good.
She was everything her people should have been. She was perfect…except…
Before Solas even realized what he was doing, he was passing a hand over the Inquisitor’s lovely face. This spell was different from the one he used to permanently remove the tattoos. It was an illusion simply to quell his selfish curiosity.
When the spell was complete, Solas removed his hand and drew in a shaking breath. Pain unlike anything he’d ever felt shot through his heart, and he never wanted it to stop. Eira Lavellan was a stunning sight under normal circumstances, but as he watched her now, she was the vision of pure beauty.
“Ma vhenan,” he whispered.
The moonlight on her pale, flawless skin was breathtaking, as was the light of the stars in her white hair. For a time, Solas simply watched her with his head propped on his hand. She breathed lightly in her slumber, and pain continued to gnaw at his heart.
He knew what that pain meant. Despite his every effort, Solas had fallen wholly and deeply in love with Eira Lavellan. Their kiss in the Fade’s representation of Haven told him she returned at least some of that love for him. However, he knew acting on his feelings would be horribly selfish and unfair to the woman he loved, and so he continued to deny his every desire.
Solas couldn’t begin to explain why, but as he gazed at her beautiful face, tears stung his eyes. He smiled through them, tracing a finger over her cheek.
Suddenly, the Inquisitor’s brows drew together in a pained grimace, and she whimpered lightly. With one hand, she reached out and gripped Solas’s shirt before burying her face in his chest. Shocked, Solas froze, unsure of exactly what to do.
“No…” she cried softly. “Fen’Harel, ma halani…”
“Inquisitor?” Solas softly spoke her title. When she didn’t respond, he hesitated, unsure of whether or not he should act on his instinct. “…Eira?”
Gently, Solas shifted to slide his arm beneath Eira’s head, and he hugged her tighter to his chest. She continued to cling to him in her nightmare. He placed a tender kiss on her hair before settling his head on the pillow.
“Hamin sahlin, emma lath,” he murmured, rubbing a hand over Eira’s back. “Na Fen’Harel na sumeil.”
~~~
No, this wasn’t right. She couldn’t be here.
“No! I won’t let you commit suicide for me!”
She heard the pained words in her own voice as she stared at the sickened Bull and Solas.
“Look at us,” Leliana stated firmly. “We’re already dead.”
The words struck Eira like a physical blow, and as her friends turned to go throw themselves to the armies of Corypheus and his demons, she was powerless to stop them. Dorian worked feverishly on his spell to send them back to their own time, and Leliana stood before the sealed door. The very foundations of the castle shook with the roars of the archdemon, and from outside, Eira could hear the shrieks and screams. She covered her ears to drown them out. The smell of blood and fire nearly stole her breath.
Suddenly, the doors flew open, and Eira braced herself, ready to see Solas’s bloody body being tossed by the demon. She clamped her eyes shut, refusing to look this time. She didn’t think she could stand the sight again.
All at once, the sounds of battle were drowned out by the strong, haunting call of a wolf, and then everything fell silent. Slowly, Eira opened her eyes. She was no longer in the halls of Redcliffe castle. Instead, she stood in a lush, green forest. Taking a deep breath, she felt the crisp air cleansing her from the inside.
Looking around, Eira did not recognize her surroundings, yet all she felt was peace and serenity. She was in no danger here.
Again, she heard the lonely howl of a wolf, and she lifted her eyes. Just up ahead, a noble creature was watching her. This was not the same as the black wolf that led her through the forest of her childhood. This wolf was different—regal. With fur of solid white, he was a king among beasts—if he was truly a beast at all. There was a familiarity in his clear eyes, and in that moment, Eira’s heart resonated with his in a way that was altogether new.
“Fen’Harel,” she breathed with a smile.
She took a step forward, and the white wolf turned, moving further into the trees. After a few paces, he paused, glancing over his shoulder to be sure Eira was following. The pair proceeded this way for what felt like an eternity…and yet only seconds.
Eventually, the trees faded, and Eira was surrounded by a blinding white light with only the wolf’s silhouette to follow. Soon, even that was gone, and there was only light and warmth.
The wolf’s howl jolted her awake.
Eira blinked against the light of the rising sun, but the fresh, earthy scent and the warmth of her dreams remained. A steady, beating rhythm touched her ears. It took only seconds for her to register the source of that inviting warmth.
“Solas?” Eira murmured, her voice still thick with sleep.
“Good morning, Inquisitor,” he responded with a soft chuckle.
Slowly, reluctantly, Eira lifted her head. When her gaze met his clear eyes, she felt her cheeks heating up.
“Oh!” Eira sat up quickly. Reddening slightly, Solas released her. As soon as his embrace fell away, she missed it terribly.
“Forgive me,” Solas looked away. “I meant no disrespect, Inquisitor. You were having a nightmare, and I tried to offer you comfort.”
“You…stayed with me,” She said timidly.
“That was what you asked of me, was it not?” Solas answered.
“Yes, but…I’m sorry for causing you trouble. I’m sure your bed would have been much more comfortable for you,” Eira sighed.
“You forget that I spent many years sleeping under the stars as an apostate,” he smiled up at her. “I am never more comfortable than when I am free, and I have never felt as free as I did with you last night.”
“Ah…well…” Eira was sure she was as red as bloodstone as she fumbled for an answer.
“Inquisitor? Inquisitor? Are you there?” Josephine’s voice could be heard down in the Inquisitor’s chambers.
Startled, Eira latched on to Solas.
“You are being summoned,” Solas murmured in her ear with a smile.
“Shh!” The Inquisitor placed a slender finger over his lips.
When Josie’s footsteps retreated and the door to her quarters closed once more, Eira relaxed, lying on her back. She threw her arms over her face and sighed.
“It’s too early,” she whined. “I don’t want to be the Inquisitor yet.”
“Who would you like to be?” Solas chuckled, reclining on his side next to her.
Eira peeked one eye out from behind her fortress of arms.
“Eira,” she mumbled. “Hunter for Clan Lavellan of the Free Marches.”
“You are more than that,” Solas gently lowered Eira’s arms so he could look at her face. “So much more.”
“Oh, yes,” she huffed, staring up at the blue sky. “I’m the Herald of Andraste. Defender of Skyhold…”
“No,” Solas shook his head. Eira looked over to see a solemn smile in place on Solas’s lips. “You are Eira Lavellan. That much is true. You are wise beyond your years. You are gentle and curious and brave. You are kind even when kindness is not deserved. You see good in everything—even the Dread Wolf.”
Eira’s eyes widened slightly, but Solas only smiled. Her memory flashed back to her dream, and curiosity tugged at her heart, but she dared not speak her thoughts. Solas could enter her dreams. He’d proven that already, but could he possibly…
No. That was ridiculous.
“You are you, regardless of what anyone else labels you—just like you believe that Fen’Harel was a good person despite what the rest of the world has told you,” Solas continued softly, settling onto his back beside her. “But if you would rather not be the Inquisitor at this time, I would gladly hide away with you until you are ready to face the day.”
“Ma melava halani,” Eira murmured. Acting purely on impulse, she rolled to her side and placed her head back on Solas’s chest. “Ma serannas.”
“It has been my pleasure…” Solas responded, trailing off slightly. He hesitated before coming to a decision. “…ma vhenan.”
Eira quickly lifted her head, her eyes wide with surprise. Solas only gazed up at her with a loving expression. She waited for him to tell her it was a joke—that it was only a slip of the tongue. When the words never came, a timid, ecstatic smile crept into her eyes, and she lowered her head back to his chest.
Together, they hid away in silence, listening to the sounds of Skyhold awakening. And for however short a time there was no Inquisitor. There was no Fen’Harel. She was Eira, and he was Solas, and they were in love.