Work Text:
When Hyunjin moves in, it is a beautiful spring day. The sun is shining outside and the breeze is warm and pleasant. He would have loved to do basically anything else but unpacking his entire life in a new place. He did not really want to change his routine like that but it has been inevitable. He has been sharing a flat with Changbin ever since he started living outside of his parents' house but, now, Changbin was starting a new chapter of his life, and it unfortunately did not involve Hyunjin. Changbin has been dating Felix for two years now, and of course they were planning to move in together eventually. Hyunjin is not jealous or mad, he is very happy for his two friends, he just hates change. And moving out is one of the most dreadful change possible for him.
Changbin really did it the nicest way possible, warning Hyunjin in advance, helping him organize stuff and adapting to his rhythm. He even helped him find a new place, because the rent was too expensive in the area where they were living and since Hyunjin started working from home with freelancing as a graphic designer, he did not need to live in the city center anymore. Plus he does not really have a stable income so he can not afford anything too expensive.
Objectively, the new place is better than the old one. They used to live in a decent apartment, but it was still pretty small with their two rooms right next to each other, meaning that Hyunjin always felt concerned whenever he brought guys home after dates and he has heard way too much of Changbin and Felix sex life for his sanity. His new place is a cozy little house, with a small backyard, Hyunjin easily can imagine fully unleashing his gardening skills there, and maybe even finally get a dog. It is fully furnished, the open kitchen leads to a comfortable living room. His bedroom is also bigger than his last one.
Everything is perfect.
Except the fact that Hyunjin has a new roommate and he knows almost nothing of the guy, aside from the fact that Felix vouches for him and says he is adorable. And also very cute, with a lot of suggestive gross comments about how they would probably hit it off, ifyouknowwhatimeanHyun. Hyunjin definitely knows what he means, he has been single for a few months now and he craves for a romantic connection, and, he is not going to lie, for a sexual connection too. However, Hyunjin has a rule to never date a roommate, because things can get messy and ugly really quick. And Hyunjin likes the house, he does not want to mess around and have to find another place.
Said roommate, Seungmin, is still a student, but he is reaching his last year. He is studying law and already told Hyunjin that he spends most of his time studying for his exams in his room. He also recently started an internship at a law firm in town so he is only here during the weekends. Which is fine for Hyunjin because it means he can peacefully work from home in the nice office space that the house has.
Seungmin is very nice, from the little things Hyunjin has learned about him. They spent about an hour together before Hyunjin moved in, just to make sure that they have similar life habits, and they do. Seungmin wants the house to be a calm and safe space and does not like having people over, of course if it is something Hyunjin plans before and that Seungmin is aware of it, it would be fine. Hyunjin agrees on that, he mostly sees his friends outside, so if his social battery runs off he can excuse himself and go back home. They have very different schedule, Hyunjin sleeps late and wakes up late too, meanwhile Seungmin is an early owl, meaning they will just live their life without bothering each other. Hyunjin thinks he can become friend with Seungmin after a while, but it is not the reason he moved in, he is fine with a respectful relationship with his roommate.
Changbin, and some other friends, helped Hyunjin move all his stuff over the weekend. Seungmin is not there, he went to visit his parents apparently, he said he was sorry for not being able to help him move in.
Still, Hyunjin finds a bunch of post it notes all over the apartment with small explanations written on it. Seungmin's hand writing is neat and pretty, is the first thing he notices.
You can take all the food you want, if you didn't have the time to grocery shop, says the note on the fridge's door. Hyunjin smiles. Yeah, he can definitely be friend with Seungmin.
Late at night that Sunday, he hears Seungmin coming back home while he is in his room, music on speaker, half dancing, half cleaning up his stuff — he made sure that his stuff in the common area where already tidied away since Seungmin told him he was a bit of clean freak, he did not want to piss off his new roommate by leaving a mess where he could see it. When he realizes that Seungmin is back, it is already too late and the other boy saw him dancing around in his bedroom as he passed by it while going to his own.
"Oh," Hyunjin mutters, stumbling to find his phone and turn off the music, "I'm sorry."
Seungmin smiles. He looks tired but there is a very gentle look in his eyes that make Hyunjin feel all warm, "don't worry, I hope the moving was not too exhausting."
"It was okay, my friends helped," he answers, smiling back.
They are both awkward, not at ease with each other considering it is their first real conversation since the first time they met.
"I'm sorry I was not there to help you settle in," Seungmin says.
"Don't apologize! All the notes you left were very thoughtful and helpful. Also the food was delicious, did you make it?"
Seungmin shakes his head and winces, "oh, no, I'm a terrible cook. It was frozen stuff that my mother made me last time she came here."
"Well, tell her I really enjoyed it."
"I will," his roommate chuckles, "I'm exhausted, I'll go to bed, good night, Hyunjin."
"Good night," he whispers back.
Seungmin leaves quietly. Hyunjin stands still for a minute in the middle of his room, all his stuff unpacked around him. Considering that Seungmin is going to sleep, even if the house is bigger than the apartment he used to share with Changbin, he prefers not to try his luck by making too much noise putting all his stuff away. It means sleeping with most of his belongings lying around on the floor, but he can live with that for the night. He would rather walk on eggshells around Seungmin as long as he does not know him very well. He does not want to jeopardize his relationship with his new roommate. Things have to go well.
He grabs his diary, the only thing that has already been carefully placed on his night table and writes his daily entry, hoping that by putting his thoughts on the paper they will not cloud his brain as he tries to sleep.
Life settles in. Seungmin did not lie when he said he was busy, and whenever he is home, he is so quiet that sometimes Hyunjin doubts he is even there. Hyunjin feels more and more comfortable in their shared space, but their schedules are very different and they almost never overlap.
The little he knows about Seungmin, he likes, though. Seungmin is very considerate, he already could guess it with the sticky notes he left around when he moved in, but he proves it over and over again. Hyunjin decides after the first time to give back to Seungmin by bringing home some pastries from a bakery he really likes, leaving a sticky note over it telling Seungmin that it is for him. Before he knows it, it becomes a little ritual between them. Of course, they still exchange texts for anything related to cleaning schedule and stuff related to the house on a daily basis but at least once a week Hyunjin finds a sticky notes for him, and leaves another one for Seungmin. Hyunjin is a romantic at heart, he finds it cute and thoughtful. So he snaps pictures of it every time, and keeps it close.
Seungmin is also very observant. Hyunjin is not a great cook either, but, contrary to Seungmin who still tries very hard to maintain this whole three meals a day thing, Hyunjin gave up a long time ago. Plus, once he gets into hyper focus with his work or drawing, he simply just forgets about his basic needs, which often leads to him skipping meals. Hyunjin is not sure when Seungmin notices it but when he does, Hyunjin ends up finding sticky notes on his desk, telling him to not forget to eat, or drink water.
After a while, he decides that the pictures are not enough so Hyunjin ends up collecting all the little sticky notes and puts them in his diary. He kinda longs to spend more time with Seungmin but he does not want to push him.
During the weekends, it happens that they both end up in the living room or the kitchen together in the evening. Seungmin cooking diner while Hyunjin is sketching on his Ipad. Hyunjin also observe, notices when Seungmin is cooking with his headphones on, meaning that he does not want to talk, and when he is not. During those moments, Hyunjin makes a bit of small talk. Asks about his day, his internship, what he likes. The conversation is easy with Seungmin, even when he starts explaining law related stuff and Hyunjin does not understand anything about it, he still finds it fascinating.
There is just something about Seungmin that makes Hyunjin all giddy. Whenever they share those small private moments, Hyunjin goes back to his room and opens his diary. He writes every little things that he learns about Seungmin.
Hyunjin convinces himself that he simply does it to make their cohabitation as good as possible. Nothing else. And if he starts doodling little dogs that look like Seungmin on the sticky notes after Seungmin told him that he loves dogs, it is simply because he objectively looks like one. Nothing else.
"So, how are things going on with your new roommate?" Felix asks him a month after he moved in the house.
Seungmin is at his internship, Felix texted Hyunjin saying he was bored and asking if he could come over. He also brought brownies, so Hyunjin thought it was a fair deal. Plus, if Seungmin were to come back and Felix were to still be there, it is at least someone that he knows, so Hyunjin hopes it would be fine.
He still texted Seungmin about it but when his roommate is at work, he can not really check his phone, so there are still no answer.
"Great," Hyunjin says, "he's cool."
"Cool?"
Hyunjin looks up from his sketchbook. He has taken out all his watercolor stuff, and he is experimenting with different techniques. Felix stares at him with a smirk on his face.
"What else do you want me to say?"
He puts down his brushes.
"I don't know, something juicier."
"Why would I?"
Felix shakes his head, sighs, "c'mon, isn't he like super hot? And smart? He's totally your type."
Hyunjin rolls his eyes. Yes, Felix is right. Seungmin is very handsome, he is interesting and caring and in any other circumstances, he would have probably flirted with a guy like that. And maybe, just maybe, he has a some kind of crush developing on him but it is just a fleeting feeling. Hyunjin could have a crush on anyone that shows a little bit of kindness toward him, and he also gets over those crushes very quickly.
"Your lack of answer tells me everything I want to know," his friend giggles.
"There is nothing to know!"He defends himself, "yes he is handsome, but he is my roommate. We're not even friends."
"You don't have to go through the "friends" square to date someone, you know that?"
Hyunjin shakes his head, "I'm not going to date him."
Felix sighs dramatically.
"Plus what makes you think he would be interested in dating me?"
The look in his friend's eyes change, "oh, so there is an interest on your side?"
"That's not what I meant," Hyunjin groans, "gosh, you're so annoying, I'm about to kick you out."
Felix laughs loudly, dodges the piece of crumpled paper that Hyunjin throws at him, but eventually lets go. He leaves before Seungmin comes back, leaving wet kisses on Hyunjin's cheeks —while Hyunjin pretends to be disgusted by it— and ordering him to keep him updated on any "seung related" new.
There is no "seung related" new, because there is not anything to cover. Life goes on, and Seungmin and Hyunjin are barely friends. The sticky notes become rarer, replaced by quickly written texts messages, and Hyunjin feels like he is mourning something that never existed in the first place. It is frustrating. Now that he has settled in the house, and feels comfortable enough to exist in common area even if Seungmin is home, he decides that it is fair that he starts decorating it a little bit. Seungmin is not much of a decorator —he said so himself— and he has given Hyunjin all the liberty to make the house feel more homey. Hyunjin does not plan on going fully home renovator, just adds a little bit of life.
During a weekend, he looks through his own paintings, the ones that were pridefully hang in the apartment he used to share with Changbin but that he has not dared to take out here. What if Seungmin hates his paintings? Objectively, Hyunjin knows he is a talented artist, it is his line of work, whether it be as a freelance graphic designer or by the classes he sometimes give in different places. However, and all artists know this, art is subjective. Some people might or might not enjoy his style, and he tries very hard to not care about it. Most of the time, he succeeds, because he meets mostly people enjoying his art than the opposite, but he feels filled with doubts as he looks through the canvas, in the purpose to show them to Seungmin and asks him if he could put at least one in the living room. Seungmin knows he paints, but he never asked to see it and Hyunjin is still not confident enough to do it outside of his bedroom. He feels like if Seungmin never asks about it it is because he does not care, which Hyunjin can not blame him for. Not everyone is into visual arts, like Hyunjin is.
He finds all his paintings to be too dark, too unpolished, not enough, not fitting the very neat shared areas of the house, not fitting the minimalist aesthetic Seungmin seems to have going on everywhere in his life. It takes him all his courage to finally pick three different canvas, he really wants to have at least one of them in the living room, he feels like it is the last piece missing for him to fully call this house a home. Plus, he is kinda curious of Seungmin's opinion on his art. If he wants them to ever be friends —friends that's all, he tells himself and to the annoying voice in his brain that somehow starts to sound like Felix— Seungmin must have a look at Hyunjin's art. His paintings are like a raw extension of his soul.
He goes down to the living room, three canvas under his arms. He does not expect to find Seungmin already there, reading on the couch.
"Oh, hi, sorry, I don't want to bother you," Hyunjin says when Seungmin looks up from his book.
His roommate smiles gently and shakes his head, "no worries. What's all that?" He points at the canvas Hyunjin is carrying.
He feels a blush expand on his cheeks, he clears his throat, "decoration options," he mutters.
Seungmin puts his book away, interested. He nods, and Hyunjin understands it as his way to tell him to show him. Carefully, he puts the three canvas next to each other, without any comments. He just waits nervously for Seungmin to look at them.
Seungmin stands up, walks closer to the paintings. Hyunjin tries to read his expression but he has not known him for long and he finds himself unable to decipher the small changes in his features. He is not sure if what he is reading in his eyes is confusion or admiration. He holds back a sigh. Seungmin stays silent, observing each painting with a slowness that Hyunjin would have match in a museum but right now it only makes him more anxious.
"Those are beautiful," Seungmin says after a moment, "it must have cost a fortune."
Hyunjin looks up. Seungmin is kneeling next to a painting, the one of vase that Hyunjin drew during an insomnia a few months ago. It is one of the most simple one, although the details were particularly time consuming. He is not surprised that it might be the one Seungmin likes the most, it is direct, but leaves a lot to personal interpretation.
"I'm sorry?" He lets out, "cost me?"
Seungmin looks at him, confused, "well, to whoever painted this…" his face changes, like he suddenly realizes something, "don't tell me you made these?"
He lets out a gasp, looks at the paintings and then at Hyunjin.
"Oh my god, you made these!" He gasps.
Hyunjin blushes hard, his heart starts beating fast in his chest, so loud he is afraid that Seungmin might hear it, "I did."
People have complimented his work before, they have told him all the kind compliments, that he was some kind of painting genius —which he would never agree on, he just practiced a lot, genius is a word that he hates. Not to brag and say that he is used to it, every compliment that he gets he writes it down in his journal just to go reread them whenever he has a bad day. But there is something in the way that Seungmin is looking at him, something in his eyes when he was staring at the paintings without even knowing it was Hyunjin's art, something that makes it entirely different. Something that makes Hyunjin loose his mind just a little bit. He hopes it is not too obvious.
"Hyunjin, you are so talented," Seungmin whispers, in awe, and it sounds so sincere it makes Hyunjin feel weak in the knees, "Felix told me you were an amazing painter but I thought that you didn't want to share it so I didn't ask you directly, but I should have I can not believe I'm living with such an incredible artist."
His cheeks are positively burning now, "thank you," he mutters.
"Should we hang them in the living room?" Seungmin asks with enthusiasm.
"You… you don't mind that?"
"Are you kidding? It'd be such an honor!"
Hyunjin mumbles something unintelligible and it makes Seungmin laugh.
"Bad at taking compliments?" He wonders.
"Just a little bit," Hyunjin answers.
"Well, get used to it. I'm gonna say it every day."
It sounds like a threat, a playful one, but it is earnest. Hyunjin decides he likes the idea. No matter how embarrassed he will get, he feels like he will like having Seungmin complimenting him, every day.
In the friendliest way possible, of course.
Hyunjin kicks off his shoes when he enters the house. Today is a bad day. He was at the community center for his art class and the class on itself went great as usual, but the director of the community center is getting on his last nerve. He knows that the structure does not have a lot of money and most people are doing volunteer work there, but still the director is actually getting paid for this and yet he is still an unorganized annoying prick. He is using the fact that Hyunjin, and the other teachers there, are passionate about their jobs to do whatever the hell he wants. Hyunjin tries his best to ignore him and not deal with him directly but today was different.
So, yeah, Hyunjin is upset. Plus he was supposed to spend the night out with Changbin, Felix and Chan but they had to cancel and reschedule at the last minute. All his hope to drown his misery into a few drinks and dancing have disappeared into thin air. And he is not going to the bar or a nightclub all by himself, he is not extroverted enough for that. He climbs up the stairs, there is something smelling good in the kitchen and his stomach twists. He tries to remember the last time he ate something. Probably in the morning.
He goes into the kitchen quietly, while taking off his headphones. He hears music and someone softly singing. Seungmin. He feels a wave of affection for his roommate. It is not the first time he hears Seungmin sing, so he knows that he has the voice of an angel but usually he hears him sing only when he is taking a shower. He probably is a bit too shy to sing freely in the house, not that Hyunjin would mind, he would gladly listen to Seungmin's voice rather than his favorite singers. Now they have been living together for three months but they are still getting to know each other, although they have been more comfortable with the other's presence. Seungmin is still discreet and introverted, Hyunjin has made peace with the fact that knowing him fully will take time. He kinda feels giddy over the fact that he has so much to know about Seungmin.
Seungmin does not notice Hyunjin, busy cooking something. The music is loud. Hyunjin does not want to scare him, but the food smells delicious and he is starving. He puts down his bag on the floor, trying to make enough noise for Seungmin to notice. It works, even if his roommate is startled by it. He turns around, blushes when he sees Hyunjin standing there, and immediately goes to turn off the music.
"I'm sorry, I thought I was alone," Seungmin says, "weren't you supposed to go out after work?"
Ah, right. Hyunjin did tell him that he was going to come home late. He sees that Seungmin is already wearing his pajamas, a cute set one with little dog faces on it, which makes him look absolutely adorable and soft, and he was probably going to take advantage of the house being empty.
"Uh, yeah, my plans changed," Hyunjin tells him, scratching the back of his head, "but don't worry, I'll get out of your hair, I'm just starving."
He gives up on asking for a bit of Seungmin's food, which is particularly hard because it smells so good, and motions his way to the fridge.
"You don't have to leave," Seungmin tells him suddenly.
Hyunjin stops, looks at him with a questioning gaze.
His roommate clears his throat, awkwardly shifting his weight on his feet, "I mean,I was about to eat dinner and watch a movie… There's a lot of food, it's my mom's, and well…"
He shrugs. Hyunjin can not believe his ears. Is Seungmin actually offering to spend the evening together? He tries not to sound too eager when he says, "yes! I'd love to."
Seungmin chuckles, but he seems relieved, "you just have to grab a plate then, the food is ready."
Hyunjin does as he is told. It is kimchi jjigae, of course, Seungmin's favorite, and he is almost salivating as he puts the food in his plate. Seungmin looks at him with an amused gaze, "when was the last time you ate something?"
"This morning."
"You… what?!"
"Yeah, it was busy today, I kinda forgot."
Seungmin shakes his head, "no, you have to eat three times a day."
He sounds genuinely concerned and horrified by it. Hyunjin laughs, "I know it's just sometimes I get so into the thing I'm doing that I kinda forget about the rest."
Seungmin hums, "I guess I can understand but…"
"I know, I know," he chuckles.
They both take their plates into the living room, usually they do not eat on the couch but when he sees Seungmin sitting down on the sofa, he sits next to him. They have a small TV that is connected to their streaming services. He lets Seungmin pick up the remote, too busy and excited at the idea of eating. The food is as delicious as it smells. He almost swallows the food, burning his tongue on the stew, but it is definitely worth it.
He looks up from his bowl when he hears Seungmin chuckle.
"Sorry, I didn't even say enjoy your meal," he says sheepishly, his tongue his burning. Seungmin has not touched his food yet.
"Don't apologize," his roommate shakes his head, laughing a bit louder now, "you're cute."
He looks as surprised as Hyunjin after he says the words, and his cheeks colored in pink. He looks away, focuses his attention on his food and takes a spoon, stuffing his mouth. Hyunjin stays still, not entirely sure that he has heard the comment well, but it makes him all warm in his chest.
"What do you want to watch?" Seungmin asks him, scrolling through the catalogue.
Hyunjin picks up on the fact that he is changing subject, he decides to not tease him, "whatever you want, you were supposed to spend the night alone and I'm intruding."
"You're not intruding anything, I'm glad we are together."
Seungmin's eyes are back on him, scanning him from head to toe. Hyunjin blushes, "what?"
"Mh, I'm just trying to guess what kind of things you're into," he pauses, "it's an easy guess but romance?"
"Why is it an easy guess?" Hyunjin fakes offense.
"Because of your art, your paintings look romantic."
"What does that even mean?"
Seungmin shakes his head, "I don't know, it's a feeling more than anything, so, was I right?"
Hyunjin pouts, he considers lying, "you're right," he eventually says and his roommate's cheers, almost dropping his bowl of food on the floor. He does not regret not lying, not when it makes Seungmin this happy, "I like the cliché romantic comedy genre, I plead guilty."
"Guilty for what? It's sweet," Seungmin whispers, already scrolling through the rom-com selection on Netflix, "what about a classic then? Or are you the type who does not like to re-watch things?"
Hyunjin realizes he has been staring at Seungmin's side profile all this time, "why don't you guess?" He teases.
"You're right, I've seen you eat the same type of food for several days straight. I think you're not against re-watching stuff."
Hyunjin opens his mouth to protest but then Seungmin tilts his head and looks back at him. Their eyes meet, and his heart skips a beat.
"I'm not judging by the way, I also have my safe foods and interests," he winks, "I mean it in a good way."
Kim Seungmin winks at him and it should not look this cute. He should not be able to do this this easily.
"What's the good way of being obsessive?" He still asks.
Seungmin shrugs, "let's keep the introspective questions for another night, shall we? Now, what do you think about this movie?"
Another night? Hyunjin does not dare to comment on this, he does not want to ruin it by making it obvious he wants to spend more time with Seungmin. Even if Seungmin acts like the night they are sharing right now is not an anomaly but the beginning of something. Hyunjin feels giddy. He finally looks up at the screen.
"It's great," he says. Honestly Seungmin could have hit him with an obscure horror movie and he would have said yes anyway, "but what about you?"
"Me?" Seungmin mutters while pressing play, and putting the remote away.
"What do you like? I'm not great at guessing, so don't play," he immediately adds.
Seungmin gets comfortable on the sofa, "I like romantic stuff too," he answers, staring directly at Hyunjin.
Hyunjin is glad he is sitting because he feels his knees weak at the way Seungmin is looking at him. His stomach does a little flip, the kind that he knows all too well. He chuckles awkwardly, "good to know," he mutters almost to himself.
He wonders if he is reading thing too much, if this is just how Seungmin is, and that it means nothing else. After the first ten minutes of the film, he manages to convince himself that it is. They have not known each other's for a very long time, there are still many things he does not know about Seungmin. How he acts when he is comfortable is one thing. Maybe he is about to find out tonight.
"Are you free on Saturday?" Hyunjin asks Seungmin one day.
It is a Tuesday night, Seungmin has ended his exams the week before but he still looks drained by it. He has been locked in in his room for most of the time, studying diligently and Hyunjin can only imagine how hard it must have been. Now that he is free, Hyunjin wants to do something for him.
In a very friendly way, of course. In the way he would do it for Felix or Changbin, or anyone who need some time to chill after a stressful period of time. It has nothing to do with the fact that after their first evening watching that movie a few weeks ago, they have shared more meals together, and that Hyunjin feels like a connection between him and Seungmin —until it stopped. It stopped not because one of them did not want it anymore but because of Seungmin's exams. Hyunjin was not sure how Seungmin would be under pressure, turns out he is the same as usual, but drinks more coffee, and runs on four hours of sleep, but he still keeps the same gentle smile whenever he sees Hyunjin. Still asks him how was his day when they met in the kitchen, even if he quickly excused himself to go back to his studying.
Maybe it is not that friendly on Hyunjin's side, yeah, maybe he has started to accept that he has a huge ass crush on his roommate but this is between him and his late night entries in his journal. Like he is some kind of lovesick teenager who writes his crush's name with hearts over the i. Which he is not doing, okay. No. All he is writing are terrible longing monologues about how Seungmin is incredible, how they are so compatible on many different aspects, how he makes him laugh more than anyone he has ever met…
Hyunjin is very glad that the things he writes in his journal are only for him to see.
If Felix knew about this, he would not shut his damn mouth.
"I am," Seungmin finally answers, snapping Hyunjin out of his reverie, "why?"
"Oh! Uh, maybe we could go out, together?"
He did not realize how it sounded like a date. He does not want to make it sound like a date, even if he wants it to be a date. It can not be one, because Seungmin would probably freak out and call him weird and he will have to move out and he will never be able to see him again…
"I wanted to buy some plants for the house," he adds quickly, "so, yeah, I thought you could come with me so I pick ones you like…"
Seungmin looks surprised. Hyunjin cringes.
"You don't have to, of course I can just…"
He does not know what he can just do. He really wants Seungmin to come with him, he has a whole plan in mind. Oh gosh, it really looks like a date. He should have thought this through before asking, he did it impulsively because he knew he was not going to be able to do it if not but now he regrets it.
"I'd love to," Seungmin says.
"Really?!"
Seungmin laughs, "why are you so surprised? I'm free, my exams are over, and I think new plants are a great idea."
Right, the plants. This is what it is about, plants. Nothing else, not spending time with Hyunjin, not going on a non-date. Hyunjin still smiles, "great, I'm looking forward to it."
"Me too," Seungmin says cheerfully.
Hyunjin excuses himself and goes back to his room, he needs to scream in his journal about this entire interaction. He feels giddy, though, even if it is just to get new plants, at least he will finally spend time with Seungmin.
Saturday comes by quickly and also terribly slowly. Hyunjin has been overthinking it ever since Seungmin said yes. He wants to look good but he also does not want Seungmin to feel like he is overdoing it, because after all they are simply going shopping. For plants. Nothing else. Although Hyunjin has an idea on how they can go grab a coffee and something to eat, he will probably act like he wants something sweet, Seungmin will nag him for this, but he will say yes.
Unless Seungmin tells him to go get something to eat by himself and that he is going home.
But that is the worst case scenario.
Actually, no. The worst case scenario is Seungmin understanding that Hyunjin cannot help but wish it was a date and be disgusted by the idea. That is why he must wear something casual and act casual, normal, and not like he has not been pining over him for weeks now. He can do that. He hopes so at least. Hyunjin can not ask his friends to help either, because no one knows about it. Felix is too close to Seungmin for that, and Changbin is too close to Felix, obviously.
Eventually, he decides to put on a simple pair of blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. It is a casual look but he knows he still looks good like that, with the shirt tucked into the pants and nice accessories. They have not formally decided on a time to leave, but he knows that Seungmin is already awake, and probably already has had breakfast and lunch, meanwhile Hyunjin woke up an hour ago and decided he was too lazy to eat anything. Plus, it will be the perfect excuse to go grab something to eat together.
Maybe Hyunjin is, in fact, a genius. But not a painting genius. Just a Seungmin-genius.
He quickly goes down the stairs, trying not to sound or look too eager, he did not see Seungmin in his room so he guesses that he must already be in the living room. He finds Seungmin on the couch, busy writing in his journal. Hyunjin has already noticed that they both share this common interest and also that their journals are really similar. Hyunjin went for a very generic one. It was the less expensive option among the thick journals options, and he needs his diary to be able to last for a few months, considering he writes in it every day. He makes sure to make a bit of noise, just for Seungmin to know that he is coming.
Seungmin immediately closes his journal. He thinks it is nice that Seungmin feels comfortable enough to write in his diary in the living room, Hyunjin does it too sometimes but mostly when Seungmin is already asleep.
"Are you ready to go?" Hyunjin asks him.
"Yes," he stands up and grabs his bag and Hyunjin smiles to himself at how prepared his roommate was.
"You didn't wait for me for too long? Sorry I did not hear my alarm this morning."
Seungmin waves his hand, "it's Saturday, don't worry."
"Still," Hyunjin mutters, "you could…"
He does not finish his sentence because Seungmin grabs his arm and pulls him out of the living room. His heart flutters in his chest just by the simple skin contact.
"Let's go," his roommate tells him with a smile.
Hyunjin can feel his cheeks heating up but he nods, biting back a huge grin.
Their house is only at a ten minutes walk away from the city center. They make small talk as they walk. Hyunjin asks a few questions about Seungmin's exams, the latter answers that it went well, and Hyunjin is not very surprised. He could see how much his roommate worked and studied for it, plus he is extremely smart. When he tells it to Seungmin, Seungmin blushes, almost as red as Hyunjin was when he grabbed his arm.
"How can you be so sure?" He mumbles, looking away.
"Well, I don't know anything about law so I don't always understand when you talk to me about it, but on other subjects I can tell how smart and how your brain works. I assume it is the same when it comes to your studies."
"Oh," Seungmin lets out, "I didn't know you thought that about me."
Hyunjin giggles, "what do you even know, Kim Seungmin?"
The sentence slips through his lips before he can realize how it sounds. He tries to hide his embarrassment by coughing, and looking at his feet, but he can feel that his roommate is now staring at him. He hopes he is not overthinking what Hyunjin just said, even if he probably meant it. He is surprised that Seungmin did not realize yet the extent of Hyunjin's affection and admiration for him. At least, he hides his crush pretty well, he tells himself. Thankfully, before they can speak more about it, or before Hyunjin starts embarrassing himself again, they reach the shop.
Seungmin looks a bit overwhelmed with how big it is. Plus it is a Saturday afternoon, so the place is crowded. Hyunjin already thought that it would be difficult for both of them so he already memorized what kind of plants he wants.
"Follow me," Hyunjin tells him with a reassuring smile, "I have a specific idea in mind, so it won't be too long, but if at any point you want to leave, just tell me, okay?"
"Thanks," his roommate clears his throat, "this might sound weird but, can I hold your hand?"
Hyunjin opens his mouth, surprised. Seungmin seems even more awkward.
"I don't want to lose you," he says in a quiet voice.
"Sure," Hyunjin finally answers, "of course."
He hopes he sounds chill, gosh he really hopes because there is not a single part of his being that is chill right now. Especially not when he feels Seungmin's hand grabbing his own. Not when he intertwines their fingers. It is simply because the place is crowded, that's all. Hyunjin must not overthink it. But when he looks up at Seungmin, his roommate has a shy smile on his lips and his cheeks are pink. Hyunjin feels his heart drop into his chest.
Oh, what Hyunjin would do to kiss him.
He shoos the thought away. But Seungmin is way too cute for his sanity.
"Let's go," he whispers, answering to his smile.
Seungmin nods. They make their way in the shop. Hyunjin knows it well, he has already been there to pick up the first plants in their shared house, and thankfully they do not change the layout often so it is easy to go to the ones he wants. As they walk around, Seungmin seems to relax a little bit, he even asks a few curious questions to Hyunjin about plants, and Hyunjin happily answers them. He is glad to know some specific stuff about plants, because he feels like he sounds a bit smart, and Seungmin probably appreciates that. Not that he is trying to make Seungmin fall in love with him or anything but… a little bit of flashing his knowledge can not hurt.
Eventually, Hyunjin finds the plants he wanted. Seungmin approves of them, so it makes him happy. But when they go to pay, Hyunjin feels his anxiety flare up. Once they get the plants, will Seungmin let go of his hand and ask to go back home? He must be tired after this week full of exams and buying plants was the main reason to why he accepted going out with Hyunjin today.
It is still a miracle that he still holding his hand, but when they reach checkout, Seungmin lets go of his hand. Hyunjin already mourns the physical touch. The cashier scans the different plants and Hyunjin is about to pay when Seungmin stops him.
"We can share," Seungmin offers.
"What?"
"It's for our house, right? So it's fair to share."
Our house, it sounds like they are in a relationship, Hyunjin thinks. He shakes his head, "yeah but I'm the one who wanted them so I can pay for it!"
"I insist," Seungmin repeats, then he points at all the people waiting, "we can also argue about it but people are waiting."
Hyunjin blushes, mutters something and finally nods. Seungmin smiles with victory. The cashier splits up the total and they pay.
When they get out of the shop, Seungmin takes a deep breath in. Hyunjin is carrying the plants, at least there is one thing Seungmin did not argue to do.
"I hope I didn't come in too strong," Seungmin tells him, "about who was going to pay."
"Uh, no, you didn't. I was just surprised, and I meant it when I say that it was me who wanted them so…"
Seungmin tilts his head, "I know, but ever since we started living together, you keep on decorating the house and… well, I like it. I never thought of it before, because I do not have an artistic eye like you, but it really changes how I live, in the best way possible. But it must be expensive and exhausting since you take care of everything, this is just me showing appreciation for what you do."
Hyunjin knows his entire face is red, he feels entirely warm and his brain probably short-circuited because he can not think of anything to say to this. He just wants to hug Seungmin, or kiss him, anything to show him how much what he just said means. He feels seen, in a way no one else before ever did. The little things that he does, even if he likes to do it… he did not realize that Seungmin thought so highly of this.
"Thank you," he says because he does not know what to say instead of that, but the words sound too small for how he feels.
Seungmin smiles, "thank you," he answers, "you make the house feel like a home."
Hyunjin feels weak, "oh," he lets out quietly, "I also… I also feel like it's home, it's also thanks to you."
There is a glimmer in Seungmin's eyes, something that looks like hope, but why would it? They do not have the time to say anything else because Hyunjin's stomach growls. Seungmin raises an eye brow and chuckles, "you didn't eat breakfast, right?"
Hyunjin shakes his head, "I was not hungry…"
Seungmin grabs his free hand, and before Hyunjin knows it, they are holding hands again and his roommate is dragging him forward in the streets.
"I know a great place to have a late lunch, and coffee."
"Pastries too?" Hyunjin asks hopeful.
Seungmin laughs loudly, it is like a song to Hyunjin, "of course."
"I'm in!"
The place is only a few minutes away, it is a small coffee shop that has savory and sweet things to eat. They order, and Hyunjin manages to pay before Seungmin can do anything —he only ordered a coffee while Hyunjin is having a sandwich, a pastry and a drink.
When they sit, Seungmin's phone rings. Hyunjin can not help but look at the screen. The call comes from Seungmin's mother.
"You can answer," Hyunjin tells him, "it's fine."
Seungmin turns off his phone, "it's okay, she's just wondering when I'm coming today."
"You're supposed to go see them?"
His roommate shrugs, "uh, yeah, I was supposed to go this morning but I told them I had something to do."
Hyunjin stays silent, the waitress brings their drinks and Hyunjin's food to the table.
"Did you really pushed back going to see your parents just to come with me today?" Hyunjin asks Seungmin, curious.
Seungmin tries to hide his blush by sipping on his coffee, "yeah," he mutters, "but it's not a big deal, I see them often."
"You see me every day," Hyunjin tells him.
Seungmin shrugs. There is an awkward silence, Hyunjin drinks his own drink, still glancing at his roommate.
"It's not the same thing," he eventually answers.
Hyunjin hums. He does not want to push it, "I'm glad you spend the day with me," he still tells him, deciding to be sincere even if it might expose his feelings a bit too much. Hopefully Seungmin will understand it as nothing but their friendship developing —which is not too far from the reality.
"I'm glad too. We should, uh, do this more often."
This time he does not let it slide, not like the other night when they watched a movie and he longed for more, "I'm free when you are," he whispers.
Seungmin looks surprised but then he smiles. His gaze is soft and gentle, Hyunjin feels the cuteness aggression hit him. He eats another piece of his pastry to cope.
When they get back home, Seungmin goes to his room almost immediately just to come back downstairs just as quick. He is carrying a backpack, and Hyunjin feels guilty when he realizes that because of their non-date, Seungmin did not have the time to pack his things. He offers to help but Seungmin declines it, saying he will only be gone for one night and that he just needs to put everything neatly. Hyunjin chuckles but leave him be.
Still, he decides to spend time in the living room too. Seungmin could have packed his stuff in his room but he chose to do it there, so Hyunjin takes it as a hint that they could co-exist in silence together. Hyunjin puts his headphones on, does a little bit of journaling, eventually gets bored of it and then decides to just paint on his tablet.
After a little less than an hour, and a lot of Seungmin huffing, going back to his room, to the kitchen and then down to the living room again, he is done. Hyunjin looks, amused, at all the stuff Seungmin did pack even for such a short time, but does not comment on it, he is the same after all. He stands up, leaving his journal and tablet on the coffee table, bids Seungmin goodbye.
When Seungmin is out of the house, he sighs. He feels so lovesick and miserable, it starts to be quite ridiculous.
Hyunjin goes back to the kitchen, starts fixing a quick dinner for himself, and make the most out of his weekend by himself but just ten minutes after Seungmin left, he hears the keys juggling in the lock again. Soon, Seungmin shows up again.
"Forgot something," he tells him sheepishly.
Hyunjin shakes his head, chuckles. Usually he is the one doing that every time he leaves but Seungmin almost never forgets anything. He lets him look for whatever it is by himself, since he did not ask for his help, and tries to focus on what he is going to eat for dinner. He is not that hungry, especially not after the snack they had when they were out, but he knows that if he goes back to his room right now he will probably just drown his feelings into making art or something and he will completely forget to eat. Eventually, Seungmin pops back in the kitchen, his journal in hand, "I'm out, for real!"
"Have fun," Hyunjin answers with a smile.
"Don't get too lonely without me!"
He says it lightly but Hyunjin actually fears that he might be a little bit too right. Seungmin leaves and the house sounds too quiet. He puts on his favorite drama to make a comforting background noise.
Later that evening, as he gets ready to bed, he realizes that he can not find his journal. It is no longer on the coffee table, which is weird, but also, Hyunjin loses his stuff all the time. He starts looking in his room, but it is not there. He goes back to the living room, eventually he finds it, on the floor, halfway under the couch. It is a bit surprising but maybe it fell off the table without him noticing. He grabs it and goes back to his room, ready to write his daily entry in it.
Hyunjin gasps when he opens the journal and realizes it is not his.
It is Seungmin's.
He closes it immediately, grabs his phone, and is halfway through a text for his roommate before the curiosity gets the best of him. They have the same kind of notebook so it means Seungmin probably mixed up and took Hyunjin's journal instead of his. He could just take a quick look inside, nothing too intrusive, just a peak… It is only human nature to be curious, right? It does not mean that he is a bad person. Maybe it will give him a bit more insight on Seungmin, get to know him better.
It could not hurt. Seungmin will never know.
So Hyunjin throws his phone away and opens the journal again, feeling a chill down his spine.
Seungmin's journal is exactly like Hyunjin would have imagined it to be. Neat, clean. The date is written on top of the page, and it seems like Seungmin is not missing a day, or barely. Hyunjin knows he should not look but he can not help it. He feels terrible for it, but Seungmin has been gone for the weekend, and probably with Hyunjin's journal since he can not find it anywhere either. It was just a honest mix up… and well looking inside of it is a bit less honest, but Hyunjin will make sure to make amends later.
If on the outside the journal is exactly like Hyunjin's— thus the reason why they mixed it up— inside nothing is alike. Hyunjin sometimes uses his journal to draw his thoughts, paints them, rather than just write them. Sometimes he writes a full page, sometimes just a few lines. Meanwhile, Seungmin seems to not only write consistently but also the same amount every day. Hyunjin quickly goes through the pages, the journal starts at the beginning of the year, so before Hyunjin moved in. He sees a few entries about Seungmin being stressed out because he needs to find a new roommate until he finds the page dated of their first meeting. Hyunjin holds his breath. Maybe if Seungmin writes terrible things about him he could eventually move on from his desperate crush on him.
I've met my next (I guess?) roommate. He seems to be very nice. Felix only has nice things to say about him, and he says that we will be a good match, but I'm still a little bit concerned, what if we don't match at all? What if he does not really understand how I want to live? Sometimes I don't even really understand myself. It's like I want to be alone but also have someone around. What if he finds me weird?
Hyunjin pauses. He feels a tight knot in his chest, he knows exactly what Seungmin feels. He knows he should not find out this way that Seungmin was afraid Hyunjin was going to judge him or something. The thought has never crossed Hyunjin's mind. He is about to close the journal, the guilt too strong when a few words catch his eyes.
For the record, that guy, Hyunjin, is super hot. Like he could be a model or something.
He feels himself blush. What? Surely this was just the effect of meeting him the first time. But now he has to check what are the next entries about him. He quickly scans the pages, until he reaches the dates where he moved in.
I've been living with Hyunjin for a week now, and he seems to be a bit shy. I expected someone like him to be sociable and have a lot of friends, but he is definitely more like me, introverted. Felix told me he was an artist, I know that he is a freelance graphic designer, but Felix told me about his paintings. Apparently he is very talented. I'm kinda curious but I don't want to push it, we just met. Maybe I'll see them one day.
Oh and also, like I said when he first moved in, I put a few sticky notes around because I was not in the house and I didn't want him to feel unwelcome, and now Hyunjin keeps on putting some around. They are so cute and so thoughtful. This one has a puppy on it!! This is the closest I got to his art abilities and it's just a doodle but oh my god. I think I'm obsessed with it. Will it be weird to ask for more? Probably. Now I feel a little bad because I only write boring stuff on mine and he takes the time to draw things…
Overthinking this, that sounds like me.
I don't know what it is about Hyunjin but something is different. In a good way. In a way too good way if that makes sense.
I just love the sticky notes, he is very cute. I only did that out of convenience but now it seems like a routine. We're still a bit awkward with each other when we meet in the kitchen or the living room but I'm hopeful for the rest.
Hyunjin holds his breath. He stares at the sticky note that Seungmin carefully glued on the page. He can not believe that Seungmin liked it that much, if he had told him he would have made thousands of little puppy doodles. He feels sad that the sticky notes stopped. He goes by another few pages where Seungmin just talks about how similar they are and how he feels more and more comfortable sharing his space with Hyunjin. It makes him feel all warm, he is glad that he made Seungmin feel that way. Finally, he reaches the page about his drawing. The pages, actually.
I'm so excited I'm not sure I will be able to sleep! Maybe it's stupid but Hyunjin came in the living room earlier today with a few canvas and the paintings were absolutely beautiful, I thought he had bought them. Turns out, it is his! I can not believe my eyes, what an amazing artist. I can not believe I get to share a part of my life with someone this talented. Is there anything that Hyunjin can not do? It might be a bit early to say, considering we've only been living together for a few weeks, but Hyunjin is one of a kind, maybe one of the best people I've ever met.
Yeah this is a crazy thing to say this early. But I can't help but feel like this is true. Felix tells me to ask him out, he's probably just eager to put his two common friends together, it does not mean anything, Felix tends to be dramatic easily.
Anyway, back to the art. He was so shy to show it to me, he is adorable. Apparently, he thought that I was not interested in it and I could not tell him that everything about him is interesting. His art is just like him, very generous, beautiful and filled with emotions. I was at loss of words, really. Even right now it feels like my words are not good enough for to describe it.
Hyunjin is really into home decor, which is not very surprising considering what an artist he is, but I never paid attention to it before, but the paintings really change the room. It gives it a homey vibe, comfortable.
Hyunjin does not realize he is crying until he sees a tear falling on the page, "fuck," he curses. It is too late, the water smudges the ink a little bit. Seungmin will definitely notice it, but somehow he does not feel stressed by it. After reading this, he only feels even more love for Seungmin, and he will probably come clean as soon as his roommate comes home. Even if it means that Seungmin will lose a bit of trust, he hopes that he will be understanding. Maybe he will tell him to read his own journal, just to make it even.
He can not believe that Seungmin felt this way about him so soon in their relationship. It might be nothing more but admiration, but it feels a little bit more. It gives Hyunjin hope. He turns more pages, he tries not to linger on the days where Seungmin had a bad mental health day, it feels even more intrusive to read his dark thoughts rather than reading his opinion on him. Hyunjin is probably just finding excuses for what he is doing. He finds the day they spent the evening watching movies together.
Hyunjin loves rom-com, of course. It fits him.
He also has that cute little way of eating where he pouts every time.
He has kissable lips.
Not that I'm going to do anything about it. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
I'm sure Hyunjin would want something really big and romantic, there is no way a random kiss while he is eating kimchi jjigae on a random week night would do it. No matter how badly I wanted to.
There is no way he would be interested in me anyway. I should probably just move on.
Seungmin wanted to kiss him that night?! Hyunjin feels his heart race in his chest. Why didn't he? Why would he think that Hyunjin could never be interested in him? That is completely insane. Not only is Hyunjin extremely interested in him but also he does not like the way Seungmin thinks of himself. Like he is not on Hyunjin's standard. He is everything that Hyunjin could hope for, and apparently his feelings are returned. He is not going to let this chance slide.
Hyunjin and I went to buy some plants. It sounded like a date. It felt like a date. Is there a chance that he might like me too? I'm going to see my parents this weekend but when I come back I'll try and confess.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to do that.
Hyunjin closes the journal. He can not wait for one day and one night before Seungmin comes home. He needs to see him right now and tell him everything. Confess that he read his journal but also tell him that he likes him too! He has to do something. He grabs his phone and goes downstairs, the house is quiet. Should he call Seungmin? They never called before, so maybe it will be weird for Hyunjin to do that. Send a text? But he does not want to confess anything through a text. He also does not want to send a "can we talk" text, that would be stressful. He does not know what to do. He paces around the living room, antsy, his brain working at full speed just to come up with an excuse to talk to Seungmin.
He could say that there is an emergency at the house, he could ask Felix for help, he could…
Hyunjin freezes when he hears the sounds of keys juggling in the entrance hall. It can not be anyone else but Seungmin but… He runs out of the living room to the front door. Seungmin is there, he can not believe his eyes.
"You," he mutters, "aren't you at your parents'?"
Seungmin stays still for a second and Hyunjin gets hit with the guilt of reading his diary. But also the knowledge that Seungmin wanted to ask him out. He looks at his roommate from head to toe, and realize that Seungmin has something in his hand.
Hyunjin's diary.
"I was," Seungmin answers slowly, "but I…"
Hyunjin swallows with difficulty. He feels his heart beat fast in his chest. Did Seungmin read his diary? Did he find what Hyunjin wrote about him weird? Creepy? Does he hate him now? His anxiety gets the best of any rational thought.
"I wanted to see you," his roommate speaks again. Then he shows the diary in his hand.
He definitely read it, Hyunjin thinks. But he does not know that Hyunjin read his.
"Maybe we can talk in the living room?" Hyunjin says, hoping to ease the obvious tension between them.
"That's a good idea, yeah," Seungmin whispers.
They make their way to the couch in silence. There Seungmin sits down, grabs a pillow and puts it over his stomach after putting the diary on the coffee table.
"It's mine," Hyunjin lets out quietly.
"I guess you have mine," Seungmin says.
Hyunjin nods, "did you…?"
The rest of the sentence dies.
"I'm sorry," Seungmin immediately tells him, "I didn't mean to, when I realized it was not mine I should have texted you but I…"
"You saw your name?" Hyunjin finishes for him.
Seungmin bites his lip and nods. He looks ashamed, guilty, while Hyunjin feels relieved.
"I should apologize too, then," he tells him. Seungmin looks up, confused, "I also read yours."
Seungmin's face becomes red, "you… Oh, oh gosh."
Hyunjin understands that Seungmin is probably too embarrassed to make any move, so he decides to do it himself. Obviously, reading each other's journal was not the smartest thing to do, but now he knows it was harmless. On the contrary it might have been the little push they needed. Now Seungmin knows how Hyunjin feels about him, and Hyunjin knows that his crush is far from one-sided. They could beat themselves up with guilt about it, but curiosity is only natural, they both fell for it. They will probably talk about it more after, but for now, Hyunjin needs to make a move.
He slides very gently closer to Seungmin, who just stares at him, eyes wide, expecting. He does not physically move, not when Hyunjin puts his hand on his knee.
"Is it okay?" He asks him.
Seungmin nods, "yeah."
"Until when did you read my journal?"
He just wants to know how much Seungmin knows. If it is only the beginning, he will probably just be aware that Hyunjin always found him handsome, smart, kind. But if he read it until the end, just like Hyunjin did, then he knows about Hyunjin's feelings. He should be embarrassed, but he is not.
"The end," Seungmin says softly.
Hyunjin can not help but smile, "good," he answers, "great."
"You?"
"To the end too."
Seungmin exhales, "it was a date, right? Today."
"I wanted it to be."
"Me too."
Hyunjin's heart starts racing in his chest, he comes closer again and moves his body so he entirely faces Seungmin. He can feel Seungmin's gaze fixated on each movement he makes. It is intoxicating, to have Seungmin's entire attention. Hyunjin likes it, maybe too much. He does not care. He has been holding back for weeks now, tonight, he can finally unleash it. Seungmin's grip is tight on the pillow.
"Can you say it?" He asks.
"Say what?" Hyunjin repeats.
"What you have written about me."
His voice is unsure, but his eyes are filled with want. Hyunjin wants to give him everything.
"Which part?" He wonders, feeling brave, "the one where I say you're the most beautiful guy I have ever seen? That you are so smart, that you sound so sexy when you start talking about things that I don't understand? Your kindness, maybe? How you look in the morning when you haven't had your coffee yet? How beautiful your voice sound when you sing in the shower?"
Seungmin gulps, Hyunjin smirks. He is glad to learn about this side of Seungmin.
"I've had a crush on you for weeks now," Hyunjin goes on, "I didn't want to make things weird between us since we live together but… I can't believe you planned on confessing to me first."
"That's also why I came back. After I read your diary, I just wanted to see you and tell you that I felt the same but when I got there… You're so handsome, and you look at me like I'm the only thing in the world. I thought I was imagining stuff at first but now that I know it, it's all I see. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed."
"And now? Do you still feel overwhelmed? I can give you space…"
Seungmin grabs his wrist pulls him closer, "no, no, I didn't mean it like that. Please, no space, I just want you to kiss me."
Hyunjin does not have to be asked twice, "you have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you today," he whispers.
He does not let Seungmin answer him and leans in closer. He places a soft kiss on Seungmin's lips at first, testing the water. But then Seungmin reaches for his lips again and deepens it. Hyunjin puts a hand on his cheek, while Seungmin grabs the back of his neck, tugs on his hair.
Hyunjin definitely likes that.
They move slightly just for their bodies to press against each other, begging for physical contact as much as possible. Hyunjin is in heaven, he thinks, he died and went to heaven. That is the only explanation possible as to why such a beautiful guy with lips that soft, is whimpering under him and becoming undone just with Hyunjin kissing him. Seungmin, who is always the one handling things, so organized and serious, has given Hyunjin complete power and dominance.
They break apart, to catch their breath. Hyunjin dares to open his eyes, just to see Seungmin's bliss face. His lips red and a bit of spit connecting their mouths.
"Still overwhelmed?" Hyunjin says, smirking.
Seungmin huffs, "you're insane."
"Do you like it?"
Seungmin puts a kiss on his lips, then on his jaw, and on his neck. Seungmin is a neck kisser, Hyunjin manages to think before humming happily.
"I like it a lot," Seungmin murmurs.
"I like you a lot," Hyunjin says back.
"Cheesy," he chuckles.
Hyunjin plants another kiss, right on Seungmin's forehead. Then he goes back to sit normally, even if he really wants to do more than kissing right now, they should probably talk about all this. It seems like Seungmin understands it because he does not stop him.
"I'm very sorry for reading your diary," Hyunjin tells him, "but I'm glad it lead us to that."
"Me too," Seungmin answers, "honestly, I'd have probably chickened out without the diary mix up so… I'm happy it happened. Even if this is never something I'd do again! If we start dating, what you write will be yours…"
"If?"
Seungmin looks surprised, he clears his throat.
"I really want to date you, Seungmin," Hyunjin says with small smile.
Why are they so shy after kissing that hungrily? After reading each other's most private thoughts? It still feels unreal.
"I want to date you too."
"Good. We will go on real dates now."
"Can I, uh, can we, be boyfriends?"
This time it is Hyunjin who is taken aback.
"I mean," Seungmin adds, "we're already living together so… It's not like we have to go through the getting to know each other steps."
"I'd love to be your boyfriend, ever since I realized my feelings for you there has not been anyone else."
Seungmin smiles, proudly, relieved, "me neither."
"Great, because I'm kinda possessive," Hyunjin laughs, "I hope you won't mind it."
Seungmin moves and pulls him into another kiss, "I have yet to find something about you that I don't like, even when you leave dishes in the sink, I still like you."
Hyunjin laughs some more in the kiss. They stay like that for a while, kissing lazily on the couch, allowing themselves to discover each other differently. Every touch is electrifying, Hyunjin feels drunk in love.
"I knew it!" Felix screams happily.
Hyunjin has to put the phone away from his ear because his friend yells some more. Seungmin looks up from his book.
They have been dating for a week now. They haven't told their friends, not because they wanted to hide anything but because they spent that week almost completely lost in each other. With Seungmin's exams done, and his internship coming to an end, they had a lot of free time to just be with each other.
But Felix has been trying to reach out to Hyunjin for a few days now, so when he called, they agreed to tell him.
Hyunjin puts Felix on speaker since he is already screaming.
"Neither of you has been answering my texts all week!!! And from Seungmin, I understand, that guy is chronically offline, but you?! You have a screen time higher than an iPad kid. Unless you're painting, but anyway, the sexual tension between you two was obvious since the beginning, and because I'm a genius I understood it immediately."
"Hello Felix," Seungmin says.
"Oh! Hi! Oh my god, you guys are together right now? Please tell me I haven't interrupted something gross."
Hyunjin rolls his eyes, "of course you did, we were having sex and I thought, "Felix is calling me let me interrupt having the best sex of my life with my boyfriend to answer him instead!"" He says ironically.
Seungmin laughs while Felix fakes gagging.
"You guys are going to be disgusting," Felix finally mutters.
"Thank you," Hyunjin answers, beaming.
"We're very happy," Seungmin interjects.
"Well, good for you, also you both owe me, because I kinda match you up."
"How?" Hyunjin asks.
"By moving in with Changbin, you had to find a new place, and I technically introduced you to Seungmin, so yeah, all thanks to me. I'll make sure to say it in my speech at your wedding."
"If you continue like that you're not going to be invited," Seungmin warns him.
Felix protests loudly.
"Anyway," Hyunjin says, "I have to hang up now, I have better things to do."
"GROSS!"
Felix hangs up.
"This is going to be fun," Hyunjin says to Seungmin.
Seungmin agrees. Hyunjin puts a quick kiss on his lips, believing that Seungmin would want to go back to his book, but Seungmin immediately pouts when he lets go.
"Don't tell me the better things you have to do was not me?" He whines.
Hyunjin laughs, "there is nothing better than you, but I thought you wanted to read."
"That was before, now I want you."
"Okay, you have me, entirely."
Seungmin pulls him closer, hums as he kisses him again, "good."
Hyunjin can not help but smile into the kiss. Every kiss with Seungmin feels like a first kiss, there is no firework or butterfly but just a very deep and profound feeling of being safe, of home. Seungmin's lips taste like home. Hyunjin knows for sure that his love for him is only going to grow and get stronger, and he can not wait for the rest of their life together.