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“Are you sure you’re ok?” Amanda asks Angela as she quickly changes her costume for Bit City.
Angela has been asked this over a dozen times since this sketch was pitched. They have her playing a little kid in the video. And while she’s played a kid in videos before, this is the first time it’s been a focal point to a scene since she started being little at work.
“I'm feeling good,” she assures her. “I feel safe and I know I can back out.”
Amanda nods, rubbing her shoulder reassuringly before going to talk to Tommy about the scene.
Alone with her thoughts, Angela thinks about three times in the past where she’s played a kid. The times where she wasn’t as ok with it as she is now.
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It’s her third year being a part of the company for UCLA’s Spring Sing, a talent show for some of the best singers the school has to offer.
The company are kind of like the hosts, a group of about 12 people doing bits in-between songs as well as introducing acts and the show.
She loves doing Spring Sing every year. It's singing, dancing, and acting; all things she loves to do, especially in front of a live and excited audience.
On top of everything they perform live, they also produce a couple videos to be played as well, one of which is going to be an original song.
And once again, she's excited to be part of writing and producing a full song, even if it's a joke song. On top of that she's given a solo verse, which is also really cool.
But the character she's been written in as is a baby.
As far as the group is concerned, Angela is a neutral. There's even a couple littles in the group, but they still chose her as the physically smallest person.
It's not like she was forced to do it, but she wasn't going to say no when something was asked of her, especially when she can do it.
She's just a college kid playing a baby for a skit, no big deal.
Sure she has to dress like a little kid, sit in a stroller, and play with crayons. But neutrals can do that too. A neutral guy in the group was playing a little girl for a second as well.
She can do this.
But when she’s getting dressed as a little kid, wearing little clothes for the first time in her life, it's disorienting.
It's not an abnormal outfit all things considered. A colorful shirt, shortalls, and converse.
She pulls her hair into pigtails before staring at herself in the school bathroom mirror, carefully applying exaggerated blush to her cheeks.
Seeing herself looking like a little makes her feel a bit sick to her stomach, it makes it feel too real.
Slamming her eyes shut she finishes her makeup as best she can before quickly exiting the bathroom to start shooting.
She internally sighs in relief when she sees the stroller they got for the video. It's not one for littles, but for an actual child.
The goal of the video is to have her be a baby, not a little, so they got her baby stuff instead of little stuff. Trying to make her look like a caricature of a child instead of an average little.
“This ok?” one of her group mates asks as Angela sits in the stroller, “We were pretty sure you'd fit.
Angela gives them a thumbs up, doing her best to be her usual excitable self, “Ready.” she says confidently, fidgeting with the blanket in her lap that will soon be over her head.
“Can't forget this,” her fake mom in the video jokes, handing over a small baby's pacifier.
She stares at it for a second before hesitantly grabbing it, studying it carefully in her hands as everyone rushes around her to make sure they're ready to start.
“Are you sure you're ok, Ang?” her fake mom asks gently, crouching down beside the stroller, “You don't have to do this.”
“I'm fine.” Angela answers quickly, popping the pacifier in her mouth, “All good.”
The woman looks at her curiously, but lets it go as she fixes the blanket to make sure it doesn't get caught in the wheels.
Angela goes through the shoot without issue, performing her solo as well as the group bits with her inner turmoil locked inside.
But she's not done filming in this outfit. There's a couple shots being done in a living room of her coloring and throwing crayons.
She pushes herself out of the stroller and stretches her limbs, walking over to the group going to the house to film.
“I'll drive you,” her fake mom tells her, cutting her off before she can argue, “We're all grouping up. The other car is full.”
Unable to argue, she goes with her to the next house, ignoring the woman as she watches her from the corner of her eye.
“It's just an outfit,” she reminds the woman she’s pretty sure is a caregiver as they pull up to the house, ”I'm just acting.”
The woman raises an eyebrow at her, but lets her go to film the rest of the video without incident.
Angela happily pulls her hair down when she's done, going into the bathroom to quickly switch her clothes and rub the makeup off.
Even if none of it is inherently little, she's done with all the reminders today.
She rides back to her dorm in silence as she tries her best to not rub her forehead, the woman insisting she drop her back there instead of the quad like everyone else.
“Thanks,” she murmurs as she gets out of the car, lost in her own head.
“Anytime,” the woman responds, “Seriously, call if you need anything.”
Angela looks back at her with a guarded expression, “I'm fine.”
The woman sighs and waves as she drives off, leaving Angela to walk up the stairs to get to her dorm.
She opens the door to find it empty. Sighing in both relief and resignation, Angela collapses into her bed to go to sleep.
Not because she's tired, but because her head hurts too much to do anything else.
And she refuses to drop.
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To be fair, she brought this one upon herself.
As she grew older she grew less uneasy playing kids for bits and sketches.
It usually wasn't for long and she tended to lean towards older characters, ones out of her own little age range.
Teens and tweens like Grace Chasity and Bazonka were easy. Even with Bazonka’s more childlike outfit, it was far enough from her little age and much closer to her adult self.
So when picking her character for the 1920s episode of BAF Legacy, she thought being a nine year old street urchin would be fun.
She and Amanda, as well as Chanse have already played teenagers, with Shayne playing twelve and even Damien also playing nine the previous episode.
Putting on the costume didn't elicit anything in her, nor did the brief conversation she had with Chanse where he double checked that she was ok.
It's not until she's sat in her chair as Spencer, Alex, and Damien remind the group of the rules that she feels uneasy.
This was going to last for over two hours.
She has to pretend to be a little kid for two hours.
Nine may be older than her upper range of six, but it was still young enough that she realizes that maybe this was a mistake.
And she knows that she could bow out now, that Spencer and art would help her quickly change her character, no questions asked, but she can't.
Angela refuses to accept defeat, so she takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders, and tunes back into the rules.
With room tone finished, the five actors spend the few minutes it takes for action to be called to talk in character, allowing Angela to find her equilibrium and steady herself.
“You alright Puddles?” Chanse asks her as Adam, but with his own concern audible behind the character.
She grins at him with her fake missing teeth, “I’m lovely.” she responds in her heavy British accent, “Nice to be outta the cold.”
He rolls his eyes, but plays along and drops the question, the two chatting until Chanse is directed to begin the intro.
And it starts alright, she lets the other four keep focus as they play through the early game, moving from room to room until Amanda's character Dorothy triggers the haunt.
Angela listens carefully as the haunt is explained, internally hoping she's not chosen as the hidden traitor, but as the tokens are passed out her hopes are doused.
She looks at the small number one and tries her best to strategize as the rules are explained a second time.
The game restarts and in only a few turns she manages to complete the first task of her mission, revealing herself to the rest of the group. And she's proud of herself too, shoving her headache back as she gloats for the camera.
But then the group turns their focus on her, doing their best to kill her as well as her minions. They slowly start to defeat her and her army, causing anguish to rise in her chest.
Normally she plays her emotions up for the camera, but this is different. This is a little's disappointment at losing, the irrational anger that comes from being defeated in something when you can't regulate your emotions.
Angela shoves it down, trying to keep herself from rubbing her forehead as she tries her best to win.
But she doesn't.
Shayne's character Buster closes the portal, ending the game and leaving her as the sole loser.
She tries her best to play up her usual disappointment at losing instead of displaying her actual emotions, over exaggerating her loss for the camera and even playing into Amanda's desire for her character to die.
When cut is called she rushes out of her chair to get her mic taken off first, saying she really has to pee before running off.
And she does run to the bathroom to pee, but she also stares at herself for a while after washing her hands, pushing her palms into her eyes in an attempt to push her headache and emotions away.
“Angela?” Chanse calls out as he knocks on the door, “Please let me in.”
“What if I'm just peeing?” she calls back sarcastically, moving towards the door and opening it.
He rolls his eyes, pushing past her and shutting the door, “This is the crying bathroom,” he reminds her, “You only use this one if you're feeling something.”
She sighs, walking into his open arms and resting her forehead against his chest, “I’ll be ok,” she tells him honestly, “Just a headache, I can push through it.
“If you need to dr-” he starts, but she quickly cuts him off.
“Not here!” she whispers angrily, “Not here, not now. I'm fine, everything is fine.” she asserts with a mix of anger and fear.
“Wanna come over after work?” he tries hopefully, letting her go when she pulls away from him.
Angela shakes her head, reaching for the bathroom door and opening it, “I can't,” she tells him, “I have a show tonight.”
He sighs as he follows her from the room back towards set, “Well if you need me-” he starts and she cuts him off again, turning around to face him.
“I know,” she murmurs, pulling him into another hug, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he murmurs back, taking her hand as the two continue walking.
She goes through the rest of her day without incident. Making it back to her apartment and taking care of Spork before collapsing with him in bed, managing to fall asleep before she can drop.
Postponing the inevitable for at least one more day
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She'd only been at Smosh for about a year when Anthony came back and bought it with Ian, the duo taking over the main channel and beginning to produce sketches again.
At first they only feature them, but they slowly add more of the cast until Angela is cast in her first one, then her second, and today is her third.
It’s her first one as a focal point and while she’s excited, she’s also nervous. The sketch is written to have her as a baby.
She's thankfully not played a baby again since college, but just by what she's heard in pre-production she knows this will be much worse.
That's not to say she didn't have a choice about doing this.
Basically everyone at Smosh knows she's a little now, even if it's an unspoken rule to not speak about it, especially around her.
She was asked numerous times if she was ok with the role, if she was comfortable. Everyone seemed at least slightly concerned with her decision to accept the part, especially the video's director, Anthony.
After the meeting, Chanse pulled her aside and reminded her she didn't have to do this, that they could do the sketch with someone else, but she refused again.
Even when Amanda did the same, offering to go to the shoot just in case, she brushed her off.
So when the day comes and the nerves settle in, she can't help but hear Chanse say ‘I told you so’ in her head.
Stepping into the onesie and attaching the bib to her neck before once again pulling her hair up into pigtails made the anxiety slowly grow in her chest, steadily rising until she feels a hand on her shoulder.
“You ok?” Erin asks Angela as she jumps slightly at the unexpected touch, “They’re ready for you.”
Angela takes a deep breath and nods, shaking off her hand and walking straight to the kitchen where they're filming.
She sees what's waiting for her and freezes. She knew from pre-production meetings that there would be a highchair, but actually seeing it makes her stomach drop.
“You don't have to do this,” Courtney murmurs, scaring her as they appear at her side, “I can do it if you don't feel comfortable.”
“I can do it,” she huffs out, determinedly striding into the kitchen and sitting down in the chair, looking challengingly at them.
Courtney sighs, “I know you can,” they assure her, “But you don't have to.’
Angela shakes her head, “I can.” she affirms and they drop it, stepping back to let the crew get to work setting up the shot.
The first scene is filmed without issue, the actors all changing before heading to the next scene. The pattern repeats as they go from shot to shot, Angela rubbing at her forehead whenever the camera isn't on her.
Eventually, it’s time to do her final scene and once again she has to put on her baby outfit.
“Fucking diaper mountain,” she grumbles under her breath as she rubs at her forehead, jumping in surprise when she hears Shayne laugh.
“And you're the queen of the mountain,” he teases jokingly, quickly pivoting when he sees the uncomfortable expression on her face, “Are you heading home after you wrap or waiting for the end of the day?”
She blinks at him a few times as she processes what he asked her, “Probably straight home, why are you still here?” she asks confused, “You and Court both wrapped.”
He smiles, “We were going to offer you a ride home,” he admits, sighing when she immediately shakes her head.
“I've got it,” she says firmly, walking to get into place for the scene, “Thanks for the offer.”
“We've always got your back.” he assures her before walking back to where Courtney is talking to Ian, pulling out his phone to text someone on the way.
“I've got it,” she mumbles to herself as she sits down, “It’s almost over.”
She lets herself fall back into character, finishing the shots with a bunch of improvised lines that manage to make Anthony laugh, something she's quite proud of.
With cut called and her wrapped for the day she goes to change back into her own clothes, ready to finally drag herself home. She had planned the rest of her day to be free for just this reason, not wanting to do a live show when she assumed she'd be fuzzy.
“Hey bitch!” Chanse calls when she walks into the living room, “Ready to go?”
Angela stares at him, “Why the hell are you here?” she asks incredulously, attempting to take her purse back when she realizes it's on his shoulder.
“I wanted to hangout,” he answers innocently, “Have a cozy Friday in with my best friend.”
She stares at him again, an annoyed expression on her face, “I know what you're doing,” she grumbles at him angrily as she drags him out of the building towards her car, “Give me my stuff back.”
He rests against the side of her car, “Please let me drive you home,” he murmurs gently, “Then I promise I'll leave if you want me to. I just worry about you.”
Sighing in resignation she nods, climbing into the passenger seat of her car, “Don't,” she snaps as he opens his mouth to speak, “I'm not sitting in the back, I'm an adult and this is my car.”
Chanse doesn't fight her, turning on some quiet music before driving to her apartment without a word, quietly humming under his breath.
It's a decently long drive, giving Angela enough time to fall asleep against the car door by the time they arrive at her apartment.
He rolls his eyes, reaching over the center console to carefully wake her up, “Ang,” he murmurs, “We're home.”
It takes a bit more coercing until she stirs, blinking up at him sleepily before the fear seeps into her expression.
“You're safe,” Chanse assures her quickly, “You fell asleep in the car, but we're home see?”
She looks around carefully, her shoulders dropping as she nods, “Home,” she mumbles, fumbling with the door handle until he unlocks it for her, “Go.”
“Do you want me to go?” he asks, as he walks her to her apartment.
Angela shrugs, beelining straight to Spork when he unlocks her door.
“I need a yes or a no Angie,” he tells her gently, hovering in the doorway, “Now that we're safe at home everything is up to you.”
“Stay,” she whispers hesitantly, standing to go get Spork ready for his walk.
She gets him ready quickly and hands the dog over to him, “Chansey go,” she tells him, “I change.”
“Good plan,” he compliments as he holds out his hand for a high-five, smiling when she high-fives him, “Meet you back here.”
Angela watches him leave before turning around and walking to her room. She sighs sadly as she searches for what to wear, changing into a hoodie she stole from Chanse.
Giggling quietly to herself at how long the sleeves are, she quickly swipes Cannoli from her bed before padding back to the living room.
Not seeing Chanse or Spork she clumsily unfolds the blanket on her couch and throws it over her entire body as she curls up in a ball on the couch.
She doesn't know how long it's been when she hears Chanse come back in, “I'm back,” he calls out, “I'm gonna feed him real quick, then we can figure out what to do.”
Angela doesn't respond and true to his word a few minutes later, the couch moves next to her as he sits down.
“Whatcha wanna do Angie?” he asks, smiling when she pops her head out from under the blanket, “We could try opening one of your toys.”
She shakes her head, “TV please thanks you.”
“How could I say no to manners like that?” he asks rhetorically, grabbing the remote and turning it on.
“Bluey, Cars, Frozen; what's the first pick of the day?” he asks as he opens Disney+, “We have all night.”
“Toys please,” she mumbles, shifting so she's laying with her head in his lap.
Chanse easily turns on ‘Toy Story', smiling down at the little in his lap, “I love you sweetheart.” he coos, brushing his fingers through her hair.
“Love Chansey,” she whispers back and turns her focus to the TV, the duo becoming silent and remaining that way through both the first and second movie. The only movement being Chanse's fingers in Angela's hair.
The second movie ends and he pauses the auto play, “I think it's dinner time,”
Angela feels her stomach pang in hunger before the feeling is overpowered by a combination of anxiety and discomfort over what was filmed earlier that day.
“No,” she answers, whining when he slides her head onto the couch so he can stand.
“You don't have to,” he assures her, “But I'm hungry and need to eat,” he adds reassuringly, “Do you wanna stay with your movie or come with me?”
“Stay,” she mumbles, pulling the blanket up until only her face is peeking out, “Bye.”
He chuckles, pressing play on the movie, “I'll be back.” he tells her before heading into the kitchen, leaving her with Spork to watch ‘Toy Story 3’.
She doesn't move at all while he's gone, allowing herself to be absorbed into the movie to forget about her feelings.
It doesn't take too long for Chanse to return juggling multiple bowls which he immediately places on the coffee table.
Angela looks over at the table curiously, letting her eyes rove over the various foods he’s placed there.
A few PB&J’s cut into triangles, popcorn, grapes, and Reece’s cups that she knows aren’t from her kitchen.
“Candy?” she asks confused, shifting her head back into his lap as he sits back down on the couch.
“I keep some in my bag in case a certain gremlin shows up,” he admits, tossing a piece of sandwich into his mouth, “A happy gremlin is my favorite kind of gremlin.”
She hums, returning her attention to the movie, but it continually drifts towards the bowl of chocolates. It doesn’t take long for the want of chocolate to overpower her disinterest in eating, the little pushing herself up to sit.
Happy with the lack of reaction from Chanse, she reaches for the bowl and quickly swipes a piece, unwraps it, and shoves it in her mouth.
“Yummy,” she murmurs happily, looking up in surprise when he gently ruffles her hair.
“Nice hoodie,” he compliments, “Looks just like one I had until a little gremlin stole it.”
Angie giggles quietly, flapping the sleeves that are hanging over her hands, “Mine, bitch”
He laughs loudly, reaching down and grabbing two pieces of sandwich before casually handing one to her, “You’re way too cute to be this funny.”
She blushes slightly as she takes a bite of her food, reflexively copying Chanse as he takes his own.
The two slowly eat through the snacks as the movie plays. Angela ends up eating a quarter of a sandwich, a little bit of popcorn and grapes, as well as at least half a dozen Reece’s cups.
“That was a good dinner,” Chanse says happily as the movie ends, “How about we clean up and walk Spork before watching one more movie in bed?” he suggests to the sleepy little who's resting her head in his lap again.
Angela blinks up at him drowsily, “Chansey clean? Pleaaaase.”
He coos, reaching down to gently cup her cheek, “Chansey's got it,” he assures her, “Do you want to come with me to walk Sporky?”
Chanse carefully shifts her head out of his lap and stands, smiling when she sleepily nods. “Do you think you can get him dressed for me?”
She nods again, clumsily pushing herself to her feet and walking over to grab his stuff before carefully putting on his harness.
“Shoes,” she mumbles to herself, sitting in the middle of the floor to slowly get them on.
“Good job. Angie!” he praises as he returns, sliding on his own shoes before leading her outside to take Spork out to go potty.
It doesn't take long for the trio to return to the apartment and move to Angela's room to settle her for the night.
“Are we having a sleepover or is Chansey having a living room party?” he asks as he helps her settle into bed.
“Cuddle,” she whines, reaching up for him, “Pleaaaase.” she adds when he doesn't immediately join her.
“I can't sleep in jeans silly,” he jokes, gesturing down at his outfit, “I'm gonna get ready while you start your movie. Then we can cuddle as much as you want.”
She pouts, but doesn't argue as he sets up her laptop to play the final ‘Toy Story’ movie.
“I'll be right back,” he promises, carefully kissing her forehead before moving to the closet and finally disappearing into the bathroom.
Angela impatiently watches the movie, reaching up for him the second he re-enters the room. He obliges her, climbing into the bed and allowing her to roll into his arms.
He wraps his arms around her and she hums contently, letting her fingers climb up into her mouth.
“I love you, Angie baby,” he murmurs, looking down to kiss the top of her head.
She grumbles half-heartedly at the nickname before responding, “Love Chansey.”
It doesn't take long for her to drift off to sleep in his arms, the discomfort of her day forgotten thanks to her best friend.