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Teto can't remember the last time she eaten anything remotely unhealthy without feeling guilty.
She missed being able to eat without thinking about how much calories the food has or worrying about her weight. But her manager always told her that viewers don't want to go to a fat idol's concert.
"Teto."
She dreaded hearing that voice.
A formal looking twin-tailed lady walked into the twin-drilled idol's room.
"There's a concert that you have to attend to tomorrow. So you have to look your very best.'
Her mouth twisted into a half-hearted smile.
"Okay." Teto said, putting her now-clenched fists behind her back.
"Good. Also…"
"Have you been sneaking snacks from the kitchen?"
Teto's smile faltered. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead and her hands balled up onto fists.
"…No."
The agent glared at Teto. It was evident that she did not buy the answer she received.
"Yeah right. Listen Teto, if you keep this up, you'll end up looking like a pig. We don't want that, you know?"
Teto winced at the pig comment like it was a slap to the face. Teto didn't want to compared to a pig, she was already forcing food down her throat whenever she got too stressed, that was piggy enough.
The agent stared at her watch and briskly walked out of the room, leaving Teto alone.
"…Bitch." Teto muttered under her breath, her smile completely disappearing. Tears were starting to form at the corners of her eyes but she quickly wiped them away.
"…if you keep this up, you'll end up looking like a pig."
The hurtful comment repeated in her head like a broken record.
This is one of the few things that upset Teto to this extent. It's not like she was actually eating them. She was forcing herself to throw up just to maintain the "picture perfect" body. There's no damn way she could handle all this pressure.
With a shaky sigh, she forced herself off the bed and headed out into the hall.
Once she reached the kitchen, Teto grabbed a few baguettes, a box of oreos and a small bag of hard candies from some of the cupboards.
Look at yourself, you're disgusting.
Teto quickly stuffed a cookie into her mouth before taking a plastic bag from one of the drawers before walking back into her room.
She walked over to the back of her bed, laying her food on the carpeted floor. One by one, she began to scarf down her food, completely stuffing her face with a mix of candy, oreos and baguettes all at once. The guilt wrapped around her body like chains, getting more and more unbearable the more Teto binged.
Her hands pulled out the plastic bag and laid it out in front of her. Tears trail down her crumb-stained face as she kneeled.
THROW IT UP.
THROW IT UP.
THROW IT UP.
She took a deep breath before sticking her fingers down her throat.
The mass of chewed up sweets got spewed out her mouth within several gags.
Teto pulled up her shirt and stared at her stomach. It started shrink in, the faint outline of her ribs was starting to peek out. Her stomach growled.
Empty out your stomach. You can look so much better than that.
Without a second thought, her fingers reach out into her mouth once again, much more firmly this time. Nothing better than a couple more pounds lost, right?
She kept on purging, emptying her stomach over everything she had managed to eat the past week.
Finally.
Teto tied up the vomit bag up and got out the back of her bedframe. As she tossed the plastic bag into the trash and climbed onto the mattress, her stomach began to growl, begging for her to eat. But Teto laid down, arms wrapped around her belly as a way to shut it up.
Perfectly empty.