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Ilya doesn’t really have a family anymore. Not since he left Russia forever. But that’s okay. He never really knew what family meant to begin with.
His life has become so peaceful. Waking up every morning to sleepy kisses from his boyfriend, and then his dog. Shane hates that, but Ilya does it anyway. He likes it here. Spending his summers in Shane’s cottage with him, only needing to leave for a few days at a time for brand obligations. The off season has become his favorite time of the year simply for how calm it gets. Lazy breakfasts, afternoon swims, walks with Anya, exercising with Shane. He has a routine, and a hearty list of things he likes doing. It’s so different, and boring, he loves it, and Shane, so very much. He wants to be boring forever.
He isn’t in contact with most of the Raiders anymore. Mostly because of scheduling conflicts and the like keeping him from following along with his old teammates, and their rowdy lifestyles. Ilya’s old lifestyle. The only teammate he keeps in regular contact with is Marly, and they can usually only call once every week or so. Which is fine. This just means Ilya gets nervous when his phone rings, because now, it’s most often David. Which is also fine. It’s… normal to him.
When his phone rings, he picks up, even when he doesn’t want to. Even when he’s having a bad day and just wants everything to stay the way it is, and no one asks him for anything. He still picks up because he doesn’t want to fall into old patterns. Today is a good day that he doesn’t want to turn bad, so he picks up the phone, and waits.
“Hey, son.”
David keeps calling him that even though he and Shane are not married. Ilya likes it, even though it makes him nervous, “Hello David.”
He can practically hear the delight in the older man’s voice, “Hello Ilya. How are you doing today?”
Ilya does not know why he keeps asking him that. Shane says that he asks that every time he calls him, but he doesn’t call him this frequently. Ilya does not understand Shane’s parents.
“I am okay. Just, uh… I am just spending time together with Anya.” He waits, then says, “How are you today, David?”
He hears a laugh. He thinks David and Yuna are very happy people. Ilya likes that. “I’m doing just fine. Nothing to complain about at least, eh?”
“Yes. It is a good day.”
He’s so nervous. He doesn’t understand the point of these phone calls. David calls him every day or two, asks him how his day is and how he’s feeling, and then hangs up. He keeps waiting for the request, the ‘hey listen’, the ‘can I have’. It hasn’t come yet, and the fact that David is waiting so long, and pretending to care about Ilya’s day makes him very anxious.
“It sure is. Do you have any plans?”
“No, I do not have plans. Do you need something, David? I can help.”
There’s a brief pause, and Ilya thinks he hears Yuna in the background for a moment, before David says “No son, I don’t need anything from you. I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
Yuna and David are great, they’re loving and kind, and they support Shane fully in his sexuality. And the fact that he’s dating Ilya, too. Which went better than Ilya could have dreamt. Ilya loves Shane’s parents, and they say they love him too. He hopes they won’t blame him for not believing them. No one just calls to ask people how they are doing, and how they are going to spend the day. Ilya doesn’t even really call people unless he needs comfort, or to see Shane, or ask Marly or Sveta if they want to go out.
The concept of David calling, talking to Ilya for a few minutes, and then hanging up is entirely foreign to him. He never asks for anything.
“Okay then…Um. I suppose I am doing well. I am not having a bad day. Thank you for asking.”
“No problem, kid. I’m gonna keep doing it if that’s alright with you.”
Is it? He doesn’t have any problem with Shane’s parents. He likes them. Sure, Yuna was scary, and she did her job with a precision and dedication that left Ilya with a sense of awe and fear, but that scrutiny in her eyes, her perfectionism (which Ilya lovingly notes, his Shane definitely inherited), was never directed at him. In fact, she was delighted by his presence, always bringing up brand deals and advertising prospects. She treats their relationship like it’s the best thing since sliced bread, and Ilya thinks it’s very funny, and endearing. She always has a new idea for ‘expanding opportunities’, and seems to always be working on something, or drafting an email. And David… Ilya didn’t really know what to feel about him. He knows he’s a kind man, with a dry sense of humor, and a love of jigsaw puzzles, and invites Ilya to put them together with him. It was nice. Unusual, but nice. He knows he used to play hockey too, so sometimes Ilya expects a lofty correction of form, or an admonishment from his superior, but it never comes. Ilya does not know how to feel about Shane’s parents beyond a quiet respect, and subtle fear.
“I think that is fine.” Shane insists that this is normal. Maybe a little bit amplified by Ilya’s identity as a whole, but overall, pretty typical behavior from his parents. He says that until he’d had a talk with them about a year into his career, they had been like this with him too. “Thank you.”
“I like checking in with you. Hearing from you is nice,” and if that doesn’t make Ilya want to cry, nothing does.
“You know,” David continues, “You could call me too. Just to chat. About anything. If you need help with something or want to come over.”
Ilya thinks that that’s not how these things work. Parents ask Ilya for things, not the other way around. Is that really how things work for families like Shane’s? Surely not.
Unaware of Ilya’s spiral, Shane’s father keeps talking. “You’re a part of the family now. I don’t know, I guess I’m eager to get to know you and make up for lost time. It’s not every day a man finds out he has two sons instead of one. However long you’re comfortable picking up the phone, I’ll be there. And if you ever want to call me, or Yuna, we’ll make sure to pick up.”
Ilya was trying very very hard not to cry on the phone with his boyfriend’s parents, and he felt like he was doing pretty good. But his voice cracked when he says, “Thank you, David.”
He doesn’t say anything about it.
“Any time, son,” he can hear the smile in his voice, “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing. Give Anya some kisses for me, will you?”
“Yes, I will.” Shane hates that. But Ilya does it anyway. “Bye David.”
“Bye Ilya. I’ll talk to you later.”
Ilya wasn’t sure what to do once the call ended. Quickly, he sent a text to David, making sure there wasn’t something they were forgetting to ask him, even if it was something small, but he insists that he just wanted to check in. It felt nice. That someone other than Shane and Sveta just wanted him to be happy. Finding out or being told outright that there are no ulterior motives just feels like a weight off his shoulders. Do they really just care? There are more good parents out there than just his mama? His father was the problem, not Ilya?
David called him his son. His second son. He believes he is family.
In the past, family meant expectations, rules, and pain when the rules were broken. It meant memories of his mama, and of grief. It meant fear and sadness, when all of his reminders of his mother were taken away from him as quickly as she was. They upset his father, so he wasn’t allowed to have them. Family meant he had to work to do his best, be his best, never fall short in an endless race that no one else knew they were in. Family meant solitude, alcohol, loneliness. Endless money wasted on drugs and abuse, bol’she, bol’she, bol’she…
Here, family apparently means daily check-ins, pasta with lots of cheese, soft, dreamy mornings, and nights that sound and smell like a crackling fire. It means grocery shopping with Shane, and playing fetch with his dog, and happiness, and joy. It meant hockey games with no motivation besides having fun. It means friends, and bad jokes, and racing his boyfriend on their runs in the park. Its quiet nights where Ilya can’t breathe around his grief, and there’s no one telling him to suck it up, or calling him awful things. Family is making fun of Hayden Pike, and Hayden Pike making fun of him in return.
Family means Shane. Family means Anya, and David and Yuna, and Svetlana, and Marly. Family means teamwork, and all his fellow Centaurs are right there with him.
No one needs anything from him except a request that he answer their phone calls and make appearances in their lives.
Ilya does have a family, and he knows exactly what the word means.