Chapter Text
Red,
For the first time in my whole life I'm forced to say I don't know. I legitimately don't know.
Don't hurt me,
Sirius
...
Sirius,
I have no use of your excuses. So get off your high horse, AND FIND OUT!
Lily
...
Flower,
You don't think I tried? It's been a month and a half, and I haven't heard a squeak about you. I'm considering shipping him off to St. Mungo's because a James Potter who does not animatedly babble about Lily Evans is no James Potter at all.
Sirius
...
Black,
I will hex you so bad, you'll resemble a cockroach and not even St. Mungo's will be able to help you if you don't get me my information.
Lily
...
Petal,
Please know that I am terrified of cockroaches. How about a toad, instead?
And I don't suppose you'll tell me why I am risking my life for this this piece of information?
Sirius
...
Sirius
No, I suppose not. Will you just do as I say? It's for the greater good, I can assure you that.
LILY
PS. I swear to Merlin if you call me anything other than Lily..
...
Lils,
Alright then. For the greater good, it is.
I'm trying, okay. We guys just don't braid each others hair and talk about our feelings in pajamas, you know. Give me a day or two or a week?
Sirius
PS. I'll call you whatever I like, deal with it.
...
Black,
Alright. You have 36 hours.
Lily
...
Isis was gracefully perched on the window facing the huge expanse of the Potter Estate. Her grey feathers had always been exquisite, with bright amber eyes and a long black beak, she was an exotic species; very rare and there were only a few of her kind left. The owl was, by nature, a very affectionate bird. The residents of the Potter Manor were accustomed to the bird randomly sitting on their shoulders and nudging them in the neck till they payed her attention and stroked her feathers. Needless to say, she was also very moody and needy. She'd been a gift to the youngest Potter, James, for his 11th birthday. The delighted little boy almost choked the life out of her by crushing her to his chest.
The bird was, for obvious reasons, very fond of James. Mostly because he always bought her her favorite food, Eeylops Premium Owl Treats, and he always had something to do for her. Isis was unknowingly an accomplice to many of the elaborate pranks Hogwarts had seen, mostly because the pranksters started exchanging ideas during their summer break, when they were free. But knowing Isis, James knew she was intelligent enough to understand the content of the letter when he'd tell her to be as discrete as possible.
"Do not be seen and don't make any noise, okay? He's expecting you." were her usual instructions. She had grown awfully fond of Sirius Black too, for she had spent considerable time waiting as he hastily penned down a letter in the dark of his room back at Grimmauld Place. He'd tie the letter to her talon, saying thank you everytime, an infinitesimally small gesture but appreciated by her nonetheless. She'd peck him affectionately once and fly off.
Now, even if Isis was a wonderful creature in altogether, she had a quality that scared James to no end. Her temper was off the charts. He often wondered why he always ended up doting hot tempered females. It was clearly a flaw that would end in his death, he was sure of it.
And that would explain why she sat on the window facing the huge expanse of the Potter Estate glaring at him while he balled up yet another piece of parchment and threw it over his head. It bounced off the duvet of his unmade bed and landed on the floor.
"What?" James asked Isis, in a defeated voice yet she continued to look him in the eye without blinking.
"I know, I know. I forgot to get your treats. I'm sorry okay?" James apologized softly. She gave no response.
"She looks pissed. What did you do, James?" the deep voice of Sirius Black approached as he stood on the entrance of James' room with squeaky shoes, drenched black hair and a broom tucked under his arm.
"Why does everyone assume I'm at fault every damn time?" James half asked and half groaned as he turned around in his chair to look at his best mate.
"Because you are?" Sirius arched an eyebrow, as he pulled out his wand from his pocket and flicked it, disappearing the trail of water he left behind. Another quick flick and he was dry.
"Well, you're not entirely wrong there. I forgot to buy her treats." James' head whipped back to the angry female in question. "I'm sorry?" He tried again, but Isis just stuck her beak in the air and flew out the window into the rain.
"Ah females." Sirius shook his head in amusement, then his eyes lit up. "Why is it that you-"
"-have a thing for short tempered females?" James finished for him and Sirius nodded. "Believe me, I've been asking myself the same question for the last 6 years."
Sirius laughed as he entered the room, surprise coloring his face.
"Why are you trying tile the floor of your room with parchment? Not fond of hardwood, are you?" And indeed, there was parchment covering every inch of the floor. Some were crumpled, some balled up, and some were just marked with a few words or ink spots on them. Sirius chuckled at the unusual sight in front him because James was usually immaculate with his things.
That was something the pureblood families in the wizarding world really stressed upon. It was ingrained in both James and Sirius from a young age, to be spick and span, something that they tried passing on to Remus and Peter but after 6 years, they achieved little to no success in that particular endeavor. The dorm room that the four Marauders happen to share was a particular laughable sight. One side of the dorm absolutely meticulous and spotless, and the other side was absolutely beyond help.
James didn't reply. He just slumped on the desk, his head buried in his arms. His left hand was smeared with black ink.
"I know I'm gonna regret this the second you open your mouth, but you've been acting rather odd. More than usual. What is it that's bugging you? Just spit it out!"
James huffed and stood up so abruptly that his chair toppled over behind him. He didn't even notice, or he just didn't care.
"THIS! THIS BLOODY LETTER AND THIS BLOODY SHINY GOLDEN AWFUL THING IS THE PROBLEM OH FOR THE LOVE OF.." James hurled a crumpled piece of parchment in Sirius' general direction but it just hovered in the air and gently swayed down to the floor somewhere between the two boys. The shiny thing as referred by James, followed the letter on the floor too. His face was distorted in anger and his hands running through his already disheveled hair as he tried to gain some kind of composure back.
Sirius watched, perplexed, as James picked up his fallen chair, collapsed on it and let out a defeated sigh.
"I know, I know this came as a huge shock, to Merlin himself I'm sure, but James, can you stop freaking out for a moment and think that Dumbledore might not have entirely lost his mind?" James looked up and his eyes were narrowed in bafflement, you could barely see the hazel in it anymore. He patiently waited for Sirius to finish another one of his clever jokes (Sirius was the only one claiming they were downright hysterical but James begged to differ), but his face reflected utmost sincerity.
When James received his letter and the badge, on a Sunday morning 3 days ago, he just chortled and threw the letter on his desk and carried on with his day. He was entirely convinced that this was just Sirius' way of getting back at him for putting permanent pink dye in his shampoo last month. A number of charms, potions and Euphemia Potter banning James from leaving his room, the pink was still visible between the thick black strands. Sirius was plotting and looming for the entire month, and James, as a result, looked at everything with suspicion. He expected everything he came in contact with to blow up in his face or make him grow tentacles or turn him into a pincushion. And when Sirius saw the letter the next day, sitting innocently in the same place James left it, he went paler than the Bloody Baron, and that's when James' stomach plummeted to the floor in realization. He wouldn't tell you this, but it was actually James who plummeted head first into the floor, and not only his stomach. Sirius spent the next 2 days making every pun in the book about this ironical situation, he couldn't really get enough of it.
James glared at Sirius, at his best mate and fellow marauder, who was the biggest example of a contradiction right now because an hour ago he wouldn't stop cracking about James heading. With Lily.
"Sirius, did you hit yourself in the head with your own broomstick down at the pitch?"
Sirius sighed impatiently. "James, just think about it. Even though he's practically giving a green light to all our pranks this year, I confess I have some great plans already laid out." He paused to give James a shit eating grin. "Why do you think he made you Head Boy?"
"Uhh I don't know, let me see.." James dramatically scratched his non existent beard, another thing Sirius liked teasing James about owing to his own copious facial hair that he was growing, and pretended to think about it. "As a sensational revenge for all the years of breaking every school rule there is in the book, what could be a better punishment than having the responsibility to enforce them for my last? Really, I must congratulate Dumbledore for his brilliance."
Sirius shook his head, clearly exasperated by how his usually clever mate could be so dim sometimes, but nodded. "Well, yeah there could not have been a better punishment." He smirked. "But no, that was not the answer I was aiming for."
"I can't see another reason, Sirius!" James said, exasperated.
"Did it ever occur to you that you are the perfect candidate for this position?"
"What?" James was entirely confused now.
"James, listen to me, and listen very carefully. You are intelligent, you're a transfiguration prodigy and you're the best chaser the gryffindor team has seen in years. Those reasons aside, James, you have a fairly clear line of right and wrong set in your mind. You don't support that pure blood fascist nonsense even though you are one. You're loyal and you'll go through any lengths to protect the ones you love. And once you set your mind on something, you pour your heart and soul into it. You aren't afraid of a fight, that's pretty obvious, but you have ethics you rightfully stick to. Also you don't have any semblance of modesty though and your track record might be less than impressive, but every armor has a chink." He paused.
"These are dark times, who knows what'll happen tomorrow and what the students of Hogwarts need is a fearless leader . And that's what you are."
James' face was blank, he gaped with his mouth hanging half open at this sudden outburst from Sirius. From Sirius. Sirius Black.
"Now, should I go on or are you convinced?!"
James just nodded, then shook his head, confused, at a loss of words from the affection he suddenly felt for the sod sitting in front of him. He just stared at Sirius, not sure what to think.
It took a few minutes for him to gain control of his senses back.
"So, you think it's not entirely..." James paused, "preposterous for me to become Head Boy? That I maybe.. maybe could be one even though I have track record stating otherwise?" James asked, hesitation still clear in his eyes.
"Can't believe a Marauder is saying this, but yes." Sirius said, then licked his lips. "You deserve it more than anybody.. especially after the Snape Incident. Dumbledore would be a fool not to make you." He continued, looking down at his hands.
"That incident-" James began, but Sirius interrupted him.
"-is not the only reason that badge was in your letter, though I'm sure Dumbledore was highly impressed that night. James, I know you've done some things in the past few years that you regret, but that's the first step in growing up. You realized that you were wrong!"
James nodded but looked down. Sirius clearly didn't get enough credit for his power of convincing others, because suddenly felt a whole lot lighter and hopeful. But he still had one last doubt in mind.
"What if I screw up?" He whispered, looking Sirius right in the eye.
"You will, ofcourse you will screw up. But you'll have me, Remus and Peter to offer you support and an endless supply of awful jokes." He smiled, a genuine Sirius Black smile so James knew he wasn't kidding.
James smiled back, trying to absorb the fact that he will be wearing that awful shiny thing on his robes for the rest of the year.
"And Lily ofcouse." James groaned at the name of his counterpart and slapped his forehead rather loudly. And just like that, the dread in his heart made a comeback.
"Also, she knows." Sirius chuckled at James' rather weird reaction to the redhead.
"Who told her?"
"Remus, I think. They've been exchanging letters all summer."
"That traitor!" James spat out, anger bubbling in him for his friend for betraying him.
"You know, a typical James Potter reaction for being elected to do anything alongside Lily Evans would include you making a right fool of yourself, again , and then eating our ears off because you love to moan about it. But since this can be dubbed as a special occasion, where the Earth is now definitely doomed and we will all die a horrific death, since you've been made Head Boy ," Sirius' playful demeanor made a reappearance and James visibly relaxed, "I'd excuse you for acting demented, but that hardly warrants brooding , James. Or wishing the ground would split up so you could jump in."
"I wish the ground would split up so I could jump in and never return."
"Oh quit fretting about it and tell me what's wrong. Your unwonted behavior is irking me."
James tried to ignore Sirius, but he had held it in for a month and a half. And it was exhausting to keep a secret from Sirius, the nosy git. And now that he had been appointed Head Boy, he'd need advice. Sirius wasn't the best at giving girl advice, James would have usually asked Remus, but something is better than nothing, right? In any case, Sirius would convince him that this isn't really that big a deal than what his mind had made it into.
"Okay. You remember an incident back in 5th year? After the Defense final? Near the black lake when I did something and then something happened and then someone lost a best friend?"
Sirius pulled a perfect poker face. "No shit, James."
"Okay, so you must know how I changed after that?"
"Did you, really?" Sirius cocked his head to the side jokingly.
"Yes, yes I did. I stopped hexing people; I stopped picking fights. I stopped getting Lily's attention, so I tried dating other girls. None of them worked out though, but I was getting over her."
"James, do you want to tell me something I don't know?"
"Yes, well. Uhh.." James hesitated and scratched the back of his head. "I really was getting over her. We became friends, instead. She helped me with Potions and I taught her how to fly a broom properly. We were getting along. It was like she suddenly liked spending time with me, and she did it willingly. We sort of had this unsaid truce between us, that we were just friends. Nothing more than that. And it was all brill, and then.." James groaned at the memory, and buried his face in his hands.
"Then what? You proposed marriage?" Sirius prodded, probably knowing his best friend had a certain propensity for impulse speaking.
"Worse." James said, his voice muffled because of his hands. "I ruddy kissed her."
There was pin drop silence for a few seconds, and James peeked from between his long fingers to find a blinding smile worming its way on his face, before he was full on cackling, while holding his stomach. James dropped his hands from his face, and frowned. This was definitely not what he was expecting.
"You.." Sirius spat between his cackles. "Kissed.." More cackling. James was feeling more embarrassed as the seconds passed. He was doomed, wasn't he? "Her!"
"Oh god, it all makes sense now." Sirius mumbled quietly, looking elated but James ears perked up at this statement.
"What makes sense?"
Sirius ignored him. "Did she kiss you back?"
"I don't know, my mind went into shock mode."
"That's my boy!"
"Shut up Sirius and help me." James moaned.
"Help you in what?"
"I need an excuse for that night."
"Okay. Okay. Write to her and tell her you were drunk out of your mind." Sirius stated, trying to look serious but failing miserably.
"I was not drunk. She knows that."
"Okay, tell her you were Confunded."
"I was not Confunded."
"Okay then, send her an enraged letter saying how dare she slip a love potion in your morning pumpkin juice." Sirius said, dramatically. Just then, Isis flew in the window, her feathers damp and creating a pool of water on James' table.
"Huh, I wonder how Lily Evans would react to that letter." James said thoughtfully.
"Well, in my opinion, she'd chop you into pieces and feed them to Isis." Sirius stated, pointing towards the bird, who was now waddling around the table.
"You're not helping, Sirius."
"Well, you ain't giving me much to work with either."
"There has to be a way!"
"What were you planning on doing once we get back?"
"Ignoring her and hoping I wouldn't have to talk to her. It's just the one year, I thought I could pull it off.." James said, but stopped because he probably realized he was James Potter.
"Then what were you planning to write in all these letters?"
"I just started writing hoping it'll find it's way as I wrote."
"And?"
"Yeah, well, I either sound like an conceited toerag or a fucking pansy." James said, shrugging sheepishly.
"You know, Isis might just collect all the letters you've written till now and deliver them to Lily as a revenge. That way you can sound like both and she'll get to choose which version of you she'd like to hex first." Sirius wasn't paying much attention to James now. He was rather interested in the pieces of parchment on the floor. He kept picking up one, reading it, and throwing it back, and James was too deep in his misery to notice.
James' hazel eyes widened in horror as he looked at Isis. "You wouldn't."
Isis just cocked her head to one side as if challenging him.
"She wouldn't. She likes me too much."
"She likes me better." Sirius amended, but stared at a piece of parchment, brows furrowed then carefully folded it, and pocketed it discretely. James didn't even bat an eyelid. "And she might not, but I might not have any other choice. You've used up all the parchment in the world, and it's supposed to be summer break. "
"Then what am I supposed to do?!"
"Why don't you bloody try telling her the truth? "
"And what is the truth, Sirius, do enlighten me."
"That you still fancy the pants off off her?"
"I do not fancy her, Sirius. I'm over her, remember?"
"No, not really."
"We're better off as friends, she was right and I've learned to accept that."
"Well, what if she fancies you back?"
"Sirius, have you met Lily Evans?"
"James, accept it, you still do."
"Do not. "
Sirius just pointed to all the parchment sitting on the floor as evidence.
"Remus is so much more empathizing than you." James said scathingly, his eyes narrowing.
"And he also currently unavailable to provide you his excellent analysis of the working of female human mind, so you kinda have to make do with me." And with that, he pointed towards himself.
James sighed.
"I do not fancy her, and that's the end of this discussion. I'll just take your advice and pretend nothing happened and hope to Merlin she'd do the same."
"But I didn't give you that advice."
"All the more better, your plans aren't entirely reliable."
"James.."
"No, Sirius, even if she wouldn't pretend, I was already planning to ask Emily out the week we get back, and as my girlfriend, so she'll get that the kiss meant nothing. I am done waiting for her and I am certainly done getting rejected. This is me moving on." Standing up, James flicked his wand and all the parchment littered in the room stacked itself neatly. Another wave and the pile promptly caught fire and reduced to ash. He picked up his Head Boy badge and stared at it for a beat.
"Emily Cooper from Hufflepuff?"
James nodded, not taking his eyes off the badge.
"James.."
Daintily putting the badge on the desk as if it will cut him, he let out a huge breath and turned around. "Let's go, I fancy a game of Quidditch right now." With that, he left the room leaving Sirius staring at the doorway. He shook his head, looked out the window and then ran out the room after James.
"But it's bloody pouring outside.." Sirius mumbled as he caught up with his best friend at the staircase.