Chapter Text
Tyler was on the side of the road.
His shoes laying on the ground next to him.
he put his jacket on it.
And stepped onto the cold, sharp asphalt.
*
He was sitting in a dimly lit room, his guitar, covered in cat stickers, laying next to him as he stared at his phone with anxiety burrowed in his heart.
07:13
TylerRobertJoseph: Mom?
TylerRobertJoseph: Hey, i need to tell you something
He felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack. His breath was getting faster and faster with every second his mom took to reply.
Mom: Yes? You can tell me everything
TylerRobertJoseph: So.. mom...
Tyler knew it was a grave mistake. He knew he would get kicked out, or worse, get send to conversion therapy, but some last flicker of hope in his heart told him She loves you, she told you she'll love you no matter what.
He took a deep breath, tightly holding the bag on his lap. he was ready. If they kick him out, at least he had his stuff with him.
07:23
TylerRobertJoseph: Mom, Im Gay.
07:25
Mom: Until you find god, you're no longer my son. Get out of my house.
He knew it was going to go like this.
But that didn't stop it from hurting like somebody was tearing into his heart with a dull knife.
He clutched the silver cross on his neck, the one he got from his mom for his fifteenth birthday, and he quietly cried.
Then he heard the door open.
His dad, a 6 foot tall man, came in, and started unbuckling his pants.
Tyler hoped with all his soul he was just going to beat him. he knew what the church people did to "fix" people like him.
The Man took his belt and roughly grabbed Tyler's forearm. it was covered in scars anyway, Tyler didn't even try to remember which ones were made by his dad and which ones were self-inflicted.
it happened countless times before, and yet-
Tyler was completely unprepared for the stinging pain.
The belt broke the skin in every place it touched, when he looked at his arms, he saw connective tissue, covered by a bit of loose skin at the corners, the kind of wound that takes months to heal.
When Dad landed a few more hits, he decided he wouldn't live until the wounds heal. He couldn't. He didn't have the strength to.
he bit his lip. then, his dad unlocked his flyer. and when he was almost done, he started taking off his underwear.
Tyler panicked.
If that happened- suicide wouldn't be enough to erase the trauma.
He once experienced sexual abuse. he was twelve, he got picked to help the church leader prepare for the mass.
it was an honour. he couldn't tell anyone, that would make him ungrateful.
It took years to stop feeling his touch on his body every time he stepped into the church.
He punched his dad with the ukulele that was laying on the floor, grabbed his bag and guitar, and ran out of his room, then downstairs.
He grabbed a pack of protein bars and two cans of some energy drink. He had money in the bag, he had everything in it.
He put on the only shoes he liked, worn out converse that he had drawn skeletons on, grabbed a jacket, and just when his dad was about to catch him, he opened the door and escaped into the cold, autumn air.
He ran and ran and ran.
Until he escaped the small town.
Until he was out of breath.
Then, and only then, he stopped to drink an energy drink, he definitely would need the energy.
He looked at his phone. 08:34. Only an hour since his life collapsed.
He decided to keep going.
Around three hours later, he was at the edge of one of the bigger cities, and he just broke down.
He sat on the edge of the road, tears streaming down his face. and then he made a decision.
He opened the notebook for his lyrics, and on a blank page he wrote:
"I know nobody misses me, at least after they learned who i am.
but if you're a police officer searching my bag - My name is Tyler Robert Joseph, I'm from Ohio.
my parents kicked me out for being homosexual.
I have nowhere to go.
The wounds on my forearms are not my doing. My father made them with a belt.
If im in a hospital, don't waste your resources on me.
just give my guitar and this notebook full of lyrics to some young artist with a future, unlike me."
He put the notebook and his shoes on the side walk, next to his bag.
he saw a car passing a corner and speeding up.
It was the perfect opportunity.
He dropped his jacket, and stepped barefoot onto the cold, sharp asphalt.
He was certain the car was what he needed. if he didn't succeed, he could try another method, but...
the car was so close.
Tyler relaxed, smiled and looked at the sky, full of stars. Shining like they were oblivious to the tragedy of his life.
3..
2..
1.....
The car stopped right before it hit him.
Some boy with dyed hair, presumably his age, ran to him and dragged him onto the sidewalk.
|-/
"So, what is our talented son's plans for the future? with such a portfolio by this age, you'll have a glowing career, you know, Josh."
His dad Smiled and ruffled his hair playfully.
Tonight was the final show of the big musical he performed in, he played a character based on his idol.
He learned how to play the drums for this role, and he grew to love it.
It made him feel like himself, he could pour all the emotions he didn't like into music, all his dysphoria, all the hatred for Josie Dun, the girl who died in third grade, and then, he could keep living, and enjoy the effects of the music he creates with all the pleasant feelings.
"I guess I'll try to form a band? now that I'm a drummer... well, i can do things other than just theatre." he answered, while chatting with the other actors from the show, who became his friends overtime.
"And to think seventeen years ago i was sure I'll have a daughter who will be a doctor, or, I don't know, a lawyer.. Well, i guess I'm even happier with a drummer son" his mom chimed in.
Josh always had the luck of supportive parents. When he came out to them in third grade, they themselves suggested to replace "Josie" with "Josh", because they really liked that name. They moved states just to help him get puberty blockers and medically transition. They supported him in every step of his life.
Josh was sure that if it weren't for them he would have been suicidal, or even dead by now.
And he wasn't.
But this other kid for sure was. Josh noticed him first, a boy around his age, walking onto the road barefoot.
"Dad, Stop!!!" Josh shouted. His father managed to stop in the last few seconds. Josh couldn't really remember what exactly he did next - he knew he ran out of the car, caught the boy and dragged him off the road, to his stuff.
"No! Don't... Who are you..?"
The boy's eyes were widely open, filled with panic and confusion. Josh noticed he had an electric guitar next to his stuff. what if...
"My name's Josh. Please don't die."
He started checking the person for injuries, when his dad came running with a first aid kit he took from the car in a rush.
The dad noticed the forearm wounds first. He looked at Josh with worry.
"What's your name?"
"Tyler. Tyler Joseph."
Tyler? It really fit him. Josh smiled softly, with the least pity he could. He knew just how much pity killed any attempts to help.
"How old are you?"
"Seventeen"
"Oh, we're the same age! You play a guitar?" He asked, kind of baffled that somebody so young would have a desire to die.
"Yes, but... I mostly just sing."
Tyler answered. Josh didn't ask about anthing else, but he was contemplating if he should invite him to the band he wants to create.
"Why did you... Why did you go on to that road? I mean, I know what the purpose was, but.. im sorry I'm asking this, but why?" Josh whispered with clenched teeth.
"My parents kicked me out. This is a way of making sure they don't send me to conversion therapy."
Josh Felt like somebody just jumped at his chest, breaking his ribs and depriving him of oxygen. He saw the look on his dad's face out of the corner of his eye, that said everything.
"Tyler? Did your parents do that?" The adult asked as he helped Tyler take off his hoodie, and noticed the other scars, on his way too slender chest and stomach. He kept quiet for a few moments, and then quietly whispered.
"Yes.."
Josh And his dad both had to take a deep breath, when his dad spoke up.
"In that case... We need to go the police. Oh, and, are you okay with sharing a room with Josh? You can't go to a youth shelter, and also, you need to finish school."
It wasn't unusual for his parents to take in 'stray kittens', as they called the kids.
After his mom gave birth to him, she lost the ability to have children of her own, so they decided to become a foster home. They were a shelter for the hurt and lonely.
But the kids were always from the system. Not from the roadside.
"Hey, boys? Ah, and pack your stuff, I'm taking you to the police station and a hospital." They heard Josh's mom call out from the roadside. Dad tried to take Tyler's things, but Tyler ripped a notebook out of his bag and hugged it. Josh looked at him curiously, but didn't ask.
They walked up to the car, this time sitting Josh and Tyler on the back seats.
"So... Your name? Age? Where are you from?"
His mom was a cheerful forty year old, but even her voice was laced with concern.
"Tyler. Im seventeen. Im from Ohio."
"Were you kicked out by your parents?"
The mom asked, shooting straight to the point.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I... I told them im gay.."
Josh froze for a second. It always amazed him how his mom could read people like they were open books. usually she did that to make the kids admit to things they did wrong, but this kid just seemed traumatized. It wasn't his fault.
Their ride to the hospital was quite fast. there, they took Tyler in for few hours.
The hospital called CPS when they saw Tyler's forearms and ribs.
|-/
The agent was a rather short blonde woman, dressed in a grayish blue suit. She looked at Tyler, powerlessly laying on the hospital bed, she looked at his arms, legs and ribs, covered with bled-through bandages, and sighed.
"Tyler Robert Joseph, Right?"
"Just Tyler."
"Okay. Why are you alone out of Ohio?"
"I was kicked out."
"And you ran 60 miles."
"Mr. And Ms. Dun helped me get here."
"Huh? The Duns? Oh, these people... Do they have custody of you? Are they your relatives?"
"No. I... I met them three hours ago. On... on the side of a road."
"Huh?"
"Their son was going back from a musical show, i think, and they saw me sitting on the side walk.."
"That's weird, that's... They don't have a son. They do have a daughter, her name's Josie"