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“It was fun while it lasted, Wemmbu!”
Egg rubs Wemmbu’s back while he’s hunched over a toilet, spitting up the remains of his vomit. A broken sob leaves his mouth when he’s done, rubbing the saliva off his lips with his sleeve.
It always comes back to haunt him, it never really leaves. He never really healed from it actually, he just puts on a face and never touches on the memory ever again.
He only thinks about it when it comes back as a nightmare.
Wemmbu thinks it started coming by more often after he met Loppezz again. The sight of her made his heart churn because he genuinely misses the friendship he had with her before he fucked it up like he usually does.
Wemmbu always fucks friendships up.
“You won’t leave me, right?” Wemmbu croaks, voice broken and quiet, his throat scratchy after all that puking.
Egg’s eyebrows furrow at the question before he shook his head, slowly pulling Wemmbu into his arms, feeling Wemmbu sink his face into his neck and letting him be held. “No,” He starts off, rubbing circles onto Wemmbu’s back.
“Never, bro.”
Whatever Wemmbu does, rather it be out of the goodness of his heart, they never really satisfy anyone. If they don’t satisfy them, he’s not satisfied either. It’s just something he’s come to terms with.
He always comes to terms with things when it benefits the other person more. Never when it benefits him, no one really cares about what he wants to be completely honest.
They don’t really think of him as a person too. Wemmbu’s a weapon, a tool—Not a person with feelings, or wants, or desires, or anything really.
All he really wants are friends.
But even with all the people he rekindled with—all of the people he made up with—Wemmbu has never felt so alone. Maybe that was because he knew they all treated him like he was a weapon before, or that they always thought he was destructive by nature.
Wemmbu was never like that. People just pushed him to be destructive, and he just rolled with it.
He never wanted to be destructive, never wanted to ruin everything around him. All he ever wanted was to live peacefully and go on adventures without people fearing him, or worrying about harming the civilization he’s in.
When Wemmbu had gotten the title of being the strongest, he realized that it didn’t actually suit him. That’s why he was so willing to give it back to Flame because genuinely, it never really meant anything in the first place. He just wanted to prove himself.
But by proving himself, he harmed others and he can never repair the damage he’s done to them.
“Do you understand that it was your fault he died?” Loppezz stood in front of his cell, hands wrapped around the iron bars as she narrowed her eyes towards him.
Wemmbu was silent after he had heard that. The two of them were arguing with Wemmbu not taking it seriously but feeling every word she said stabbing him through his heart. He still cared about her, he did, she was a sister that he never knew he wanted.
And he messed up because that’s what he always does.
Even when Wemmbu felt alone, he never felt alone with them.
When he refused to team up with them, he felt happy that they wanted to spend time together. When Rejoice said he had the most fun playing on the server with him, Wemmbu realized that he can be the source of someone’s happiness.
But that didn’t last long, did it?
“Dude—“ Wemmbu dodged before he could get hit by the Warden, watching the remaining ones all crowd against Rejoice in the corner, his throat closing when he saw the blood splatter around him.
“Chorus!” His breath hitched when he saw Rejoice through the crowd of Wardens, a smile on his face and blood dripping down. Wemmbu never understood how he could be smiling at such a bad time, he still doesn’t.
Maybe it was because Rejoice didn’t want the last thing Wemmbu to see was him crying ugly tears, so he smiled.
It was the worst thing Wemmbu could ever see in his entire life.
Did Rejoice think he’d move on if it was smile on his face? Did Rejoice think that same smile wouldn’t haunt him for months on end? Did Rejoice, not realize that Wemmbu would wake up with tears and sweat for having that memory replay every night?
No, and Wemmbu could never blame him for that. All he could do is blame himself for not being strong enough.
Rejoice was one of the many reasons why Wemmbu had wanted to be the strongest. People he cared about wouldn’t be harmed, but that was the complete opposite.
If people couldn’t get to Wemmbu, they could always get to the people he cared about. And if Wemmbu was the strongest… people he cared about would stir away from him, or even use him.
Did Flame ever feel this way? Probably not. Flame was a solo player since the beginning, Wemmbu was not. He cared too much about companionship and exploring the server with friends.
Wemmbu trusted too easily, and that’s what caused him to lose so many people.
He had thought the team he had in the abandoned civilization would last longer, but fate seems to want to tell him that he was always destined to be alone.
Parrot takes a step back whenever Wemmbu takes even one step. Spoke grins but Wemmbu can see the tension in his shoulders, and Flame just, can’t seem to sympathize or even understand Wemmbu when the two have gone through almost the exact same thing.
Alone and misunderstood, that’s his problem. He can’t ever really speak up about his own feelings, he can’t really express that he’s grateful of everyone, he can’t really express his emotions actually. People usually take advantage of that.
So, yeah, that team up he had with Rejoice, Loppezz, and Egg? Wemmbu didn’t feel alone, or misunderstood really. He knew they had the purest intentions so he never really got mad despite how he acted.
Wemmbu knew how it felt to be surrounded by people who cared and made him belong in that stupid group that he never really wanted because he knew they’d get hurt. But, he hopes one day he can find that feeling again.
To fill the emptiness he’s been struggling for so many months now.
“You okay?” Wemmbu breaths in and leans back onto the palms of his hands, staring up at the setting sun as sunflowers danced in the breeze, pointing towards him.
That’s right. Jaden was with him, Jaden fills the void that haunts Wemmbu. The emptiness he felt hasn’t bothered him ever since he and Jaden became friends.
The pirate watches Wemmbu carefully, analyzing the expression on his face and seeing how content Wemmbu looks. Jaden doesn’t get how Wemmbu can look so calm despite fighting the war inside his head.
“Yeah.” Wemmbu finally responds, placing his hands in his laps with Jaden humming in response and not intruding further.
Jaden knows that Wemmbu’s not completely okay, he knows that Wemmbu hasn’t felt whole in a long time, and he knows he’s one of the many causes of it.
“I’m sorry.”
Wemmbu pulls his lips into a tight line at Jaden’s words, a familiar pain blooming at his chest and spreading through his entire body as he sniffles and blinks a little too many times.
“I know.”