Work Text:
Mafuyu has been living with Kanade for a while now. Things were going smoothly... for the most part.
Kanade sat at her desk. It was around the time that her and the others usually got on Nightcord.
But none of them were active.
"...This doesn't sound right." The composer muttered to herself, adjusting the chords of the song she was working on.
She paused for a moment, staring at the screen.
It wasn't bad.
But it wasn't enough.
Kanade frowned slightly, then she began adjusting and adding a few more things to the song. The melody changed, but it still didn't feel right.
"...It needs to reach her."
The room was quiet except for the soft sound of music looping over and over, and over again.
Kanade let it play again.
And again.
And again.
And again...
Each time she listened very carefully, trying to figure out what was missing but at this point it was an endless cycle.
It still didn't sound like it would reach Mafuyu.
She adjusted the tempo, the chords, the instruments but still, yet again—
Nothing worked.
Kanade's shoulders— no. Her whole body tensed.
"...Why..."
She was starting to get irritated and a little bit discouraged too. She couldn’t compose a song to save Mafuyu, and on top of that, she had this nagging headache that wouldn't go away.
She lifted a hand up, pressing her fingers lightly against her head.
"...Maybe I just need more time.."
No.
There is no more time, she thought. I have to keep composing. I need to keep composing.
What am I if I can't save anyone? The people I love? My father..
Her hand drifted from her head. The room suddenly felt smaller and colder.
Then without thinking— Kanade opened the drawer of her desk. She didn't know why, she just... did.
Her hand reached for the razor she had, it was often untouched unless it was a desperate moment.
The blade felt cold in her hand.
It was so quiet you could hear her soft breathing.
If I can't do something as simple as to saving people...
What am I even here for...?
She rolled up the sleeve of her hoodie.
Her grip tightened on the razor.
She pressed the blade to her wrist, but didn't attempt anything yet.
I'm so useless.
I just want to be able to actually save someone this time..
Mafuyu.
It hurt.
But it stopped all the awful thoughts that were once racing through her head.
Lines of red bloomed across her pale skin.
Tears stung her eyes as she tried to keep quiet but, unintentionally, whimpers still managed to escape.
It was extremely painful but at this point, she was used to it by now.
"..Kanade?"
What?
She must've not heard the door open because suddenly Mafuyu was standing at the entrance.
"A-ah— Mafuyu...!" She stammered as she quickly rolled down her sleeve and tried to put the razor back in the drawer. She didn't even get to bandage it yet.
She took a deep breath, "Uhh... Is there anything you need..?"
"You're still awake.." Mafuyu tilted her head slightly.
"Oh! Y-yea... I was just finishing something.." Kanade replied nervously.
Mafuyu didn't respond right away.
"...You sound different."
Kanade froze for a second. Panic set in.
"Do I...?"
"..Yes." Mafuyu nodded.
There was a pause. They just stared at each other.
"You should sleep."
Kanade looked back at her computer which the song was still ongoing in a loop for the past couple of minutes.
"...Yea. I'll uhh.. do that in a bit.." She said as she went back to composing.
"Ok." Mafuyu nodded, still standing near the door.
It was silent for a moment.
Without looking up from the screen, "...You can sit... if you want to."
"...Ok." Mafuyu then fully walks into the room and sits down at the edge of Kanade's bed.
Kanade still has her headphones on and is continuing composing, but only now her arm with the cuts marks is starting to throb in pain.
It wasn't subtle.
She had been in such a hurry to hide the razor that she didn't have enough time to bandage it properly.
Everytime she moved her arm, she winced slightly.
She ignored it though.
After a while, Kanade's movements slower.
While she was adjusting the chords her shoulders slumped, she kept blinking more than usual, and head kept dipping.
Sooner or later Mafuyu noticed these actions.
Mafuyu’s POV
_______________________________________________
Mafuyu was watching Kanade for a bit. She noticed Kanade's fatigue and how blatantly obvious it was that she was tired.
When she really looked at Kanade she saw that—
Her arm is shaking?
Then she saw Kanade's head dip onto her desk and got a tad bit worried.
Mafuyu got up from the bed and walked towards Kanade's chair.
Kanade was still editing some stuff until she felt that Mafuyu had put her head on her shoulder.
"...You look tired. You should get some sleep."
Kanade flinched and looked up.
"...Mafuyu."
She smiled slightly. "I will... I just need a bit more time.."
Mafuyu then put one of her hands over Kanade's. To stop her from composing more or just because she wanted to?
"But you said that earlier." Mafuyu tilted her head.
"Ehh... fifteen minutes..?"
"Five."
"What about... Ten?"
"Five."
Silence stretched.
"Five...?"
"...Five." Mafuyu smiled faintly.
_______________________________________________
It was clear as day that Kanade was tired, even to Kanade herself, but she still continued to work.
She started to adjust some parts to the end of her song when all of a sudden it went dark and her head hit the desk with a soft thud.
An hour later...
"Ah... my head..." She mumbled, rubbing her eyes and sitting up from her bed.
How am I on my bed? Why am I on my bed?
It felt warm. Way too warm for her liking. She then looked down to her right, only to see—
Mafuyu...?
She was asleep and very warm. And it was surprisingly comforting too.
Her face turned faintly pink.
She's so close...
She shook her head to snap out of it.
The composer looked up across the room to see her computer off.
I didn't do that...
Mafuyu.
She figured Mafuyu did it because she didn't remember doing it.
She looked back down at the sleeping Mafuyu that was beside her,
She's really cute when sleeping...
A bunch of thoughts were living rent free inside of her head, such as—
It's so warm...
We're too close...
I need to compose to save Mafuyu...
My arm is heavy...
With that being the last thought on her mind, she rolled up her sleeve.
Bandaged.
She saw it. She saw it.
Panic set it.
Kanade started hyperventilating. Her heart beat ten times faster than usual.
She ran her hands through her hair as thoughts flooded her head yet again.
What if she hates me now?
What if she thinks I'm disgusting?
What if she thinks I'm pathetic?
It started to get extremely hard for her to breath so she tried to get up to get out of the room when all of a sudden—
Mafuyu gently grabbed Kanade's arm.
"Please lay back down..." Mafuyu murmured.
Kanade was startled.
"A-ah...! Mafuyu..."
"I... Uhh- I..." She stammered.
The lyricist slowly sat up and faced Kanade. She rubbed her eyes and took a minute to focus on what was happening. Once she really took a look at Kanade's face, subtle concern flashed onto hers.
"What happened?"
The composer didn't respond immediately. Kanade was still panicking enough to where you could see the fear written all over her face, but she wasn't hyperventilating anymore.
Tears stung her eyes again but suddenly she felt arms around her torso.
Mafuyu’s arms.
Mafuyu pulled Kanade closer.
"I don't know what's going through your mind right now... But please don't cry..."
Her saying that made me want to cry even more than I probably already was about to.
Kanade unexpectedly pressed her face into Mafuyu's chest.
"...I'm sorry, Mafuyu..."
I didn't do anything to help save you...
"There's nothing to apologize for..."
Silence filled the room for a moment.
"You should rest some more..." The lyricist said as she held Kanade a bit tighter.
Kanade nodded.