Archive of Our Own

Dr. Abbot was a good attending who wanted his night shift to be able to have time outside of work to do some team bonding. He encouraged activities like mini golf, trivia nights, and community service. But by far, everyone’s favorite was the cook outs he would host every few weeks during the summer. He would invite everyone to bring a dish to his house during the day on a weekend, grill up some food on his deck, and set up a bonfire. He had an expansive property well outside the city and partially hidden in the woods, with a chicken coop and a pond in the backyard that he kept stocked with fish that he would catch from the shore. Inviting the night shift staff to his house was supposed to be a one-time thing, but it had actually been so relaxed and fun that he had kept doing it. It was nice to have the house lively again, everyone enjoying the summer with drinks and conversation without the stress of their jobs hanging over them.

When Shen mentioned it to the day shift, there had been an uproar.

Santos had been the most vocal, complaining to anyone who would listen and ribbing Robby about when they could come over to his house to get drunk and have fun. Mel happened to be charting next to them when it came to a head at the nursing station.

“Do you seriously think I would host something like that? I don’t want you people in my house,” Robby said, laughing slightly.

“Okay, then tell Abbot to let us come,” she’d answered.

“You know, Santos,” Robby said, eyebrows raised as he fed her a groundbreaking idea, “you could organize something amongst yourselves for the day shift. Abbot’s get-togethers are for the night shift to bond.” 

“You know who could talk to Abbot?” McKay had walked up to them without Mel even realising, causing her to jump a little in surprise. She continued, “Samira. She and Abbot are… chummy.” Mel cringed, but didn’t say anything, not wanting to involve herself in the conversation.

Santos snorted. “That’s one way of putting it.”

Robby ran his hands over his face and groaned. “I’m removing myself from this conversation. If you guys bother Abbot about this, please leave me out of it.”

Taking that as consent from their Head of Department, Santos and McKay enlisted Garcia. Together, the three of them spearheaded the “manipulate Samira into manipulating Abbot to have a day shift party” plan, as Santos had so eloquently named it. 

“I don’t know why they think I have any sway over him!” Samira had complained to Mel in the breakroom days later. 

Mel had frowned at her. “Really? You don’t?”

Samira had glared at her. “No, Mel, we’re not even together.”

“No,” Mel said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “But you have to admit you’re pretty…close. And he seems to really like you and listen to you!”

“You and Langdon are ‘close,’” Samira snapped back, eyeing her up and down. A blush rose to Mel’s cheeks. “You think you could make him do whatever you want?”

Mel didn’t even have to think about that, the answer was pretty obvious. Which is why, when she opened her mouth to speak, Samira cut her off, saying, “Never mind, don’t answer that!” They giggled at each other for a few seconds, the tension in Samira loosening slightly. She sighed, taking a seat across from Mel.

“Why don’t you just tell them that they need to talk to Dr. Abbot on their own and not through you?” Mel suggested gently.

“Well the thing is,” Samira said, chewing at her nail, “I kind of do want to ask him. I mean, he already told me he doesn’t care about day shift and he won’t do it or cave to their pressure…. But I think it would be fun.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah,” Samira said. “I think it would be good for the day shift to start hanging out, outside of work, like night shift do. We could bond more, and maybe make a few new friends?”

Samira’s friendship had not been too much of a surprise to Mel. It had taken one honest conversation after a long shift about how neither of them had any real relationships or connections with people and they had easily slipped into a rhythm with each other. They were rather similar, both awkward and dorky and bad at socializing. But together, it somehow worked. They made sure to get together at least once a week for coffee or drinks or lunch, and they had grand plans of finding others like them to befriend. Most of her coworkers weren’t really the friends Mel was looking for; after all, she spent 60 hours a week with them. She wanted to meet new people with Samira. But that process was slow moving, and Samira was the first friendship Mel could really say she had—other than Becca of course—and she was endlessly grateful for it. 

So that was why Mel found herself sitting in an uncomfortable lawn chair at almost midnight after a long shift, letting the large fire in Abbot’s backyard firepit burn high in front of her to keep her warm. It was late September and the nights got chilly now, but it had taken almost a month for Abbot to cave to Samira, so they were happy with what they could get.

Abbot had cooked up some hamburgers and hot dogs on his grill, wearing an apron that looked like a lady’s body in a bikini, which Mel had thought was very funny. Most of the day shift, with the exception of Robby, had come to enjoy the food, but now, this late, the crowd had thinned out.

Mel was three drinks in already, which she was enjoying thoroughly. She had been determined to have a good time at this group outing, which meant she needed Frank to come. Luckily, it hadn’t taken much convincing from her.

“I can’t believe you actually want to go,” he said as he was driving her home the day Abbot sent out the invite. 

Mel had shrugged. “Well, Samira really wants me to and… I don’t know. I think it will be good to bond with everyone.”

“Well, I don’t care about bonding with anyone except you,” Frank had said, smiling over his center console at her. “So if you’re going then I’ll go too.”

Mel let out an overexaggerated breath and said, “Thank goodness, because you need to drive so I can drink.”

To her delight, he had chuckled and jokingly rolled his eyes at her. “Big surprise, King. Always an ulterior motive with you.”

His friendship had been a surprise to her. Where Samira was awkward and dorky in the same way that Mel was, Frank had always appeared to her as someone cool. A guy who, in high school, would've been the star football player who was popular and dated a lot of girls, with charming good looks and a funny enough disposition that the teachers would roll their eyes at his insolence, rather than punish him. In her mind, he never would’ve even looked at a girl like Mel or known she existed.

But post-rehab and post-divorce, Frank Langdon had a very different energy surrounding him. He was quieter, he listened more, and he second-guessed himself more than he had any reason to. When he came back, she made sure to be there for him at work, knowing how difficult it must be for him. And, to her delight, it felt like she had picked up with him right where they left off on her first day. In the ED, they worked in perfect tandem, orbiting each other, reading the others’ thoughts before they had them, and always there for support on the heavier cases. They fit so easily together, their friendship had erupted almost spontaneously. 

And it was different from her friendship with Samira. Frank came over to her house often and they would watch movies and get takeout and play games. Becca loved him, of course, sometimes seemingly more than she liked Mel. They would also go out, try new food, go to the movies,  sometimes even get a couple drinks (Frank wasn’t drinking, but he encouraged Mel to since she had missed out on college drinking). Sometimes, when they were out late, they’d end up at one of their apartments, one of them sleeping on the other’s couch and getting breakfast together in the morning.

And Frank really wasn’t the person that Mel had assumed he was at first. Granted, he had been on the football team in college, but he was just an average runner, not an allstar quarterback. And he had dated a fair few girls and gotten in trouble for running his mouth as a kid. But he was also a history nerd, who loved World War II documentaries and knew everything about the Roman Empire. He was a Star Wars fan from childhood and had shown her pictures of him in college at Comic Con dressed up as Han Solo. When she brought up the renaissance faire she wanted to go, his face had lit up and he had started planning costumes that night.

So he was awkward and dorky, just like her and Samira, but he had gotten good at hiding it behind the sarcasm and chiselled jaw. Mel loved how many layers he had, how she got to peel them back and learn new things about him every time they hung out. She loved spending time with someone who listened to her and actually understood her. Someone that could look at her and knew exactly what she was thinking, feeling, and wanting. She had never experienced a connection like this with anyone. 

Which is why, despite the fact that she was head over heels for him—and she was more and more sure every day that he felt the same—nothing ever happened between them that would cross the line from friendship into anything more. They were playful with each other, touchy, sometimes fully flirting. But there was this unspoken agreement that that was where it ended. For now, at least.

Mel grabbed a fourth drink out of the cooler that Santos had made Whitaker drag out to the firepit—“C’mon Huckleberry, are you a man or what?”—and sat back down in her chair. She had lost track of the conversation a long time ago, happy to sit in the numbing warmth of the alcohol in her system and the fire in front of her. As she sat, she caught Frank’s gaze from across the firepit. He was looking at her with a small smile on his face, checking in on her, she knew. She smiled back, letting him know that she was happy and having a good time.

How they had ended up on opposite sides was simply because those had been two of the only open chairs left, otherwise she was sure he’d be right next to her. In fact, she thought maybe she should just grab her chair and move it over to him, push Perlah to the side so she could fit her chair right next to Frank’s. Then she could smile at him and gaze into his eyes up close.

Right before she stood to do just that, she was interrupted by a very drunk Trinity Santos standing up and yelling, “Truth or dare!” Her arms flung out in triumph, some of her beer spilling out of the bottle. Everyone quieted and looked up at her. “We should play truth or dare!”

Garcia, behind Santos on the patio furniture loveseat, grabbed her waist to steady her before she accidentally stumbled into the fire. She groaned loudly, saying, “What are you twelve? We’re all adults, Trinity, why would we play truth or dare?”

“I agree,” Abbot said, shaking his head. He was in a chair next to Samira, their hands tangled together between them. “This is why I didn’t want you kids over my house.”

“Come on, guys,” Santos whined. “It’ll be so fun. Good bonding activity!”

“I agree!” Princess said, raising her hand. Perlah grinned next to her. “We can make it into a drinking game.”

“How would we do that?” Ellis asked from Mel’s left, raising an eyebrow. She and Abbot were the only ones from the night shift that had the day off, so she had gotten a special invite. 

“If you don’t want to do the dare or tell the truth,” Princess said, looking around at everyone, “Then you have to drink!”

“Wait, but Frank doesn’t drink,” Mel found herself saying. 

She immediately regretted it, worrying that she had said too much about something he didn’t want to be public information. But Frank nodded at Princess and said, “Yeah, what would my punishment be?”

“You have to jump in the pond,” Santos deadpanned, staring at him with a blank expression.

The pond was about a hundred feet behind Frank, sitting ominously on the edge of the woods. With how dark it was now, Mel could only barely make it out in the darkness.

“You can’t be serious,” Frank said, laughing a little. “The pond? It’s disgusting. That’s way worse than a drink.”

“Well, that’s what you get for being an addict,” Garcia said sagely. 

Mel whipped her head towards the surgeon, opening her mouth to yell at her, but Frank’s loud laugh cut her off. “Wow! Thanks, Yo-yo, we can always rely on you to tell it how it is,” he said, shaking his head and still laughing. Gracia grinned back at him.

Mel still wasn’t used to him joking about his addiction and stint in rehab, and she certainly didn’t think it was anyone else’s place to make jokes. But if Frank wasn’t offended, what could she do?

“Okay, then it’s settled,” Princess said. “Truth or Dare or Drink or—if you’re Langdon—Jump in the Pond.”

Everyone looked around at each other, seeing who was in agreement. Mel found Frank’s eyes and grinned. He cocked his head at her and tipped his chin up slightly, what are you thinking?

“I think it would be fun,” Mel said, turning to Santos.

Santos pointed at Mel violently with her beer bottle, spilling more of it. “Melbutrin’s on board! That means all you losers have to play, come on.”

Mel had never been invited to any sleep overs or parties as a kid, but Becca had always made friends easily. And when Becca was at a party—either at their house or someone else’s—that meant Mel had to be there too. These occurred as recently as a few months ago, and truth or dare was fairly commonplace. She even had a strategy, since she didn’t like lying anyway: just always pick truth. She was sure there was nothing that her coworkers could ask that would be worse than anything Becca’s friends came up with.

Donnie was the first to pipe up, saying, “I’m in.”

“I want to play, too!” Javadi said, raising her hand straight into the air. 

“Okay, okay,” Santos said, putting her arms out to silence everyone. “Raise your hand if you want to play.”

Eleven hands went up, including McKay, Garcia, and Ellis, which surprised Mel. The only abstention was, predictably, Abbot.

Santos punched the air. “Yes! Okay, let’s go, I’ll start.” Her eyes scanned the crowd of assembled healthcare workers before she turned to look menacingly at Whitaker. “Huckleberry. Truth or dare?”

His eyes widened in what looked like a mixture of surprise and fear. “Uh, truth?”

“Did you eat the brownie that I was saving in the fridge last week?”

Dennis looked around wildly. “What would you have said if I picked dare?”

Santos was staring him down as she said, “I dare you tell me if you ate the brownie I was saving in the fridge last week.”

“Oh my god,” Whitaker said, pinching the bridge his nose with his fingers. “Okay, yes, I ate it. But you didn’t—”

“I KNEW IT!”

“—tell me you were saving it!”

“Judas!” Santos swayed as she violently pointed a finger at Whitaker's face while everyone else laughed at them. “You lied to me!”

“I didn’t know!” He insisted, eyes wider than Mel had ever seen them. 

“Who the hell takes a brownie out of the fridge that isn’t theirs, you fucking Fuckleberry,” Santos snapped. “I’ll get you back for that.”

“Okay, let Whitaker have his turn,” Princess said, laughing and putting a hand on Santos’s arm to calm her.

“Okay,” Whitaker said quickly, happy to put someone else on the spot. “Um… Javadi! Truth or dare?”

Javadi, possibly the drunkest one after Santos, perked up. “Truth!” 

“Boring!” Santos yelled from the armrest of the loveseat she had settled on next to Garcia.

“Shut up, Trinity,” Whitaker groaned. “Um, okay. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in front of Robby?”

The assembled crowd Ooohed at the question, heads turning to Javadi for the answer. Her eyes darted around as she thought, before she let out a nervous giggle. “Uhhh. Well, there was one time that I accidentally called him ‘dad.’” She said, staring directly at the fire with wide, horrified eyes. She flinched as laughter rang out from all sides. 

“No way,” McKay said, her face split into a grin.

Even Abbot was laughing at her. “What did he say?” He asked through a chuckle.

“He said that we should never talk about it again,” Javadi said, sounding haunted. She put her head in her hands as everyone began laughing again. After a few seconds, she jerked her head up, looking to her right. “Okay, Cassie, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” The smile on the older woman’s face was certain.

Javadi thought for a moment before saying, “I dare you to read out your Tinder bio.”

Cassie’s smile dropped into an open mouthed gape. “Victoria!” She said, scandalized, while Javadi just laughed.

“You’re on dating apps?” Perlah asked eagerly, leaning forward from across the fire. 

“I just started,” Cassie said through gritted teeth. “And I wasn’t going to tell anybody.” She sent a pointed look Javadi’s way.

“Show us the profile!” Princess said, clapping.

“No, nope.” Cassie leaned forward and took a healthy sip from her drink. “Mel, truth or dare?”

Mel was caught by surprise by the sudden call-out. “Oh! Um. Truth, please.”

“When was the last time you kissed someone?” Cassie asked, easily.

It was a surprising question from someone like Cassie, who Mel thought would be more mature about the game. But it didn’t feel like a judgemental question. It felt more like a casual conversation topic, like they were talking on her couch over some takeout.

She could feel Frank’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t make herself look at him. And then, all at once, she felt something she had never felt during her games with Becca’s friends. Embarrassment. Was this what you were supposed to feel while playing truth or dare? None of Becca’s friends’ opinions had ever mattered to her so it had been easy to answer the questions. But, now, under the crystal blue stare of the man she wanted almost desperately, she wasn’t sure if she could do it. She eyed the bottle sweating in her hand and considered taking a drink.

“Mel?” Cassie said, eyebrows raised at her.

Mel took a deep breath to calm herself down, fiddling with the bottle in her hands. She knew she shouldn’t be embarrassed, knew that whatever she said Frank wouldn’t care. “Sorry, just thinking,” Mel said. “It was, um, around two years ago? When I was at the VA. I haven’t really had time to date since starting at the ED.” It was only a partial lie.

Cassie whistled through her teeth. “Amen to that, sister. You’re in good company.” It felt like she was saying it just to make Mel feel better about it, but when she looked around she found that Javadi, Ellis, and Whitaker were all nodding in agreement.

“Okay,” Mel said, putting her finger to her lips and looking around at everyone, thinking. Picking Frank would be too predictable, she decided. Same with Samira. “Trinity,” she said, eyes settling on the other woman, who met her eyes with a determined smile. “Truth or dare?” 

“Dare! C’mon, King, let’s see what you got.” She was bobbing her head a little too emphatically.

Mel thought for a few seconds, her eyes naturally moving to Frank’s. He was, of course, already watching her. He was looking at her so strangely, like he had never seen her before. And maybe he really hadn’t. Or, at the very least, not this side of her, where she drank and engaged with silly games like this. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, eager to see what she’ll come up with. 

“I dare you to say something genuinely nice about everyone here.” Mel settled on, finally.

The crowd started to jeer, but Santos immediately knocked back the rest of the bottle in her hand before she could even make an honest attempt.

“Well played, King,” Santos said, admiringly. “Well played.” Mel grinned, feeling proud of herself. When she glanced at Frank, he looked a bit proud too.

The game continued like this. Princess talked about the two men she was currently seeing, Perlah gave her best rendition of The Thong Song, Donnie drank instead of saying who his favorite coworker was, Frank told them about the last time he cried (Penny had told him he was the best daddy in the whole wide world), Garcia texted her no-contact ex the smirking emoji, and Ellis drank rather than say what she found the hottest thing in a woman. 

Throughout this, Mel and most of the others were still drinking, despite the fact that it defeated the purpose of the game. Santos was starting to slur so badly that Mel would be concerned if she didn’t know Garcia and Whitaker were good caretakers for her. Mel was drunk, but nowhere close to Santos or Javadi. So, as she finished her fourth bottle, she got up for her fifth, moving over to where Samira was next to the cooler.

Frank leaned towards her over Donnie, tapping her arm. This was the nearest they’d been in over an hour and she was significantly too drunk to be in such close proximity to him, even with a whole other person sitting between them. She stared into his eyes, suddenly thankful that she hadn’t moved her chair closer to him after all.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “You sure you want another?”

She nodded, smiling. “Yeah, I feel so good.” And it was true. Getting drunk like this wasn’t a privilege she let herself indulge in until only about a year ago, when Becca had dropped the truth of her relationship with Adam on her.

The whole thing had caused Mel to rethink her life. How much had she put off because she was taking care of Becca? How many college parties had she skipped? How many times had they moved? How many plans had she turned down so they could have movie night? Meanwhile, Becca was living her best life. Mel was thrilled for her, of course, but it was also time for Mel to live her best life. When Becca said she wanted to move into an apartment at the center with Adam, Mel had only freaked out a little bit, privately, before offering her full support.

And now Mel King could do things like get drunk. Really drunk, if she wanted. Which was, of course, timed perfectly with the complete devolution of the night.

It started with Ellis, surprisingly. If a bunch of overworked, drunk adults were going to get together to let off steam, it was only a matter of time before it devolved into debauchery.

“Javadi,” Ellis said, sly grin turned on the younger girl. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” she said firmly.

Ellis’s grin turned wicked. “I dare you to kiss Santos.”

“Wh-what?” Javadi yelled, sitting straight up like she had just been struck by lightning. Her eyes darted around the circle in horror as everyone reacted. “I can’t do that–I mean I can’t do anything nonconcensual, that’s not okay.”

“Oh, I give my full consent,” Santos said, wiggling her eyebrows across the fire at Javadi and making a kissy face. “C’meeeere, Crash. Unless you’re scared?”

Javadi looked wildly between Santos and Ellis, who was still grinning at her.

“What’s it gonna be, Javadi?” Ellis asked. “Kiss or drink?”

Princess and Perlah started a “Kiss” chant until everyone in the circle except for Abbot and Mel had joined in, voices yelling in unison. Mel didn’t feel right about pressuring the poor girl, but when she glanced at Frank, she found him laughing along and chanting with the rest.

“Okay!” Javadi finally said, getting up and putting her arms out to silence everyone. She walked quickly around the firepit to Santos’s delighted face and stood in front of her for a second.

“C’mon Crash, what’re you wait–” Santos was cut off by Javadi grabbing her face and crashing their lips together. The girls were both so drunk that their lips didn’t fully connect correctly until they repositioned, only staying together for a couple seconds before Javadi pulled away, looking smug.

Everyone erupted into whoops and cheers, even Mel found herself laughing and clapping at them. Javadi did an overdramatic bow towards everyone else before finding her seat. 

“Okay,” Javadi said, blushing and winded. She looked around the circle for the next victim. “Okay, um, Princess, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Princess said, excitedly leaning forward.

Javadi thought for a few seconds before saying, “I dare you to give someone here a lapdance.”

Princess grinned, standing immediately. She made a show of extending her arms to crack her knuckles as a few whoops rang out in the night. “You picked the right girl for this, Javadi.”

She turned her head to Perlah, whose eyes widened. “Princess, no.”

“Oh, yeah,” Princess answered. She then swung her leg over her friend and began gyrating over her. Samira screamed in delight, her hands over her face as she laughed. Mel couldn’t stop herself from laughing at the sight as Princess turned to fully twerk over Perlah, who was leaning as far away from Princess as she could, grin on her face.

“Yesss, get it girl!” Santos yelled, snapping her fingers at Princess, while Garcia stared in awe.

McKay was wiping tears from her eyes as she said, “I can’t believe how good Princess is at that.”

“Really?” Frank said. He had moved his chair away from Perlah’s seat to give Princess more room. “I feel like this is pretty typical Princess.”

“Are you calling me a whore, Langdon?” Princess said as she hit a final pose on Perlah’s lap. Perlah pushed her off, wiping tears from her eyes, while everyone began to clap in appreciation.

“No, no, I would never!” Frank’s face dropped in panic.

“Relax,” Princess laughed, taking her seat and panting a little bit. “You’re not wrong. Let’s see now… Santos. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Princess thought for a moment. “Give us a rating on how good Garcia is at sex.”

The crowd Ooohed again, looking over to where Garcia and Santos were perched together on the loveseat. Mel was surprised by the audacity. Everyone knew, of course, that Garcia and Santos were hooking up. But it was never something that anyone said explicitly. Or, no one had said it to Mel, at least.

Santos’s mouth dropped open and she looked uneasily down at Garcia, who seemed completely unbothered by the question. “You can be honest,” she said, looking back at Santos. Mel thought there was something else in her voice, but she couldn’t read it. Garcia was always difficult to read to Mel, she didn’t understand how Frank did it so easily.

“Um, okay,” Santos said, slowly. She let out a small hiccup before saying, “I would say, like, an eight? No! Eight an’a half.” 

She looked back down at Garcia immediately to judge her reaction. In fact, it seemed like everyone was looking at Garcia to see her reaction. She shrugged, wobbling her head a bit. “I’ll take that.”

“Want to provide any specifics, Santos?” Ellis asked, laughing.

For the first time since she’d met her on their first day in the Pitt, Mel thinks she sees Santos blush. “Uh, nope,” she says quickly. “Mel! Truth ‘r dare?”

“Truth,” Mel says, as usual.

Santos looks like she was ready for this and immediately asks, too clearly considering how drunk she was, “Who here do you have a crush on?”

Mel’s stomach drops and a wave of nausea washes over her. Immediately, she feels her cheeks burn at the question, her eyebrows quirking up. She knew she couldn’t hide her facial features well when sober, but it’s impossible when she was drunk. The only thing she could do was force herself not to look at him as her heart hammered in her chest. Instead, she looks to Samira, who immediately jumps in.

“Come on, Trinity,” Samira says over the fire, drawing a few people’s attention away from Mel. “That’s such a stupid question. Why would she have a crush on anyone here?”

Santos snorted. “Really, Mohan? I mean, c’mon.”

“What does that mean?” Samira asked, defensive.

“It meannnnns,” Santos said, dragging the word out as her eyes moved back to Mel, “that everyone here already knows the answer. So ya might as well just tell us, Melanoma.”

“Don’t be mean, Trinity,” Samira snapped.

But Mel was looking around at everyone and realizing their reactions to Santos’s accusation was affirmative, if a little uncomfortable too. Was that true? Did everyone else know about how she felt about Frank? She thought about their behavior at work. Yes, they worked a lot of cases together, and yes, she stopped driving to and from work because he always just drove her, and yes, they would touch and talk constantly and sometimes even flirt a bit and…

God, Mel was such an idiot. 

If she hadn’t been drinking so much, she probably would’ve chickened out. Taken a swig or said she didn’t have feelings for anyone here. She certainly wouldn't be using Santos’s very juvenile “crush” verbiage. But honestly, she was tired of hiding it–or, thinking she was hiding it–and the alcohol in her system made her a little bolder than she normally would be. And if everyone already knew, then what was the point in hiding it anyway? 

Still, she didn’t even look in his direction when she said, “Okay, fine. I like Frank. Happy Trinity?” She didn’t say it with malice, just shrugged it off, like she had answered a question about the weather.

Santos nodded emphatically as there were some muted responses, mostly people trying to react positively to overshadow the awkward tension. Someone was clapping. “Yes, actually, I’m thrilled. Mhm. Gotta lot of money on that betting pool!”

Mel completely ignored that comment, turning her head to Samira. She needed to get the attention off of her as fast as possible. “Samira, truth or dare?” 

“Truth,” Samira said quickly, understanding Mel’s urgency and responding accordingly.

“What’s your worst memory from med school?” Mel asked. It was a softball, she knew, but it got the attention off her and it didn’t embarrass her friend too much.

Mel settled back in her seat, sipping her fifth bottle carefully, hoping it would numb her just a little more and settle her racing heart. She walked through some of the cases she had today in her head: there was something going around in the local schools, so there had been a few kids in who needed fluids and antibiotics; a woman who went into labor a month early; an old man who tripped on his front steps and broke his knee.

Mel chanced a look up at Frank. He was staring at the fire in front of him, deep in thought. Mel hoped he wasn’t mad at her. After all, hadn’t they been flirting? She had been so sure of it, sure that their relationship was becoming something more. But, then again, they had been at this for a while and never actually became anything more. She was his first friend out of recovery, maybe that was something that he wanted to keep, rather than pushing it any further. Or maybe he just actually didn’t feel the same way. Maybe he was just a touchy person, someone who enjoyed flirting for fun, and spent so much time with her simply because he enjoyed her company. Platonically. As friends.

They would have to talk. Mel lived a half hour away from Abbot’s house, so they would have to talk on the ride home. And she wasn’t confident that she could just… ignore it and talk about something else. At the very least, she knew Frank would make them talk about it. God, she was too drunk for this. Why did she have five drinks, who was she? She needed water, immediately.

Frank picked his head up abruptly and looked over at Garcia. Mel followed his gaze and tuned back in to hear her ask, “Truth or dare?”

Frank hesitated for a moment and when he said, “Dare,” Mel knew it was because he didn’t want to get the same question she had.

“I dare you to kiss Mel,” Garcia said, a knowing smirk pulling at her lips.

No one said anything, but everyone reacted. Princess and Perlah jumped, looking at each other excitedly. Javadi’s mouth dropped open, her eyes wide and darting between Frank and Mel. McKay, Ellis, and Donnie were all looking at Frank with the same smirk that Garcia had. Samira and Whitaker were the only ones looking at Mel to see her reaction. 

Abbot was prodding at the fire, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else.

Mel could only just stare at Frank, not even daring to breathe, her heart beating so fast she thought she might have a heart attack.

After a few seconds, Frank let out a breathy, weak laugh. “Seriously, Garcia?” His eyes had never left her face, refusing to look back at Mel.

“Seriously.” Garcia stared right back at him. A challenge. 

Frank composed his features, putting a light, easy smile. He glanced at Mel for less than a second before standing, looking around at everyone. And for a split second, Mel’s heart skipped a beat and she thought he’d actually do it.

“Alright, everyone,” Frank said, rolling his shoulders. “Highlight of the night!”

Without another word he turned and headed for the pond.

“Oh, he’s not actually…” Javadi said, incredulous.

Donnie started cheering him on, jumping out of his seat following him to the water to watch. “Y’all wanna see this or no?”

Everyone else, excited to watch Frank jump in a freezing cold pond in the middle of the night, jumped up and followed after the two men. Only Mel, Samira, and Abbot remained.

“Don’t get any pond scum in my house!” Abbot yelled out in the direction of the crowd that was now at the edge of the lake. 

“Mel?” Samira said quietly. “You okay?”

If Mel thought she was numb before, it was nothing compared to the hollow feeling that settled into her now. She watched Frank in the distance. A couple people had turned their phone flashlights on so she could see him stripping down to his briefs.

“He would rather jump in a disgusting, cold pond than kiss me,” Mel said simply. 

A wave of nausea washed over her again and she closed her mouth tight in the hopes of forcing the feeling away. In the distance, they were chanting, “Jump, jump, jump!”

“Is there any water in the cooler?” Mel asked. Her voice sounded so distant to her, she wasn’t even sure if she had even said it out loud until Samira got up to check.

She heard the splash of his body hitting the water and she flinched.

“There’s no more waters out here,” Samira said, softly.

“I can grab some more from the house, kid,” Abbot said, clearly unsure what to say in this situation. She knew she should be embarrassed that all of this happened in front of him, but it seemed like the least of her issues right now.

“No,” Mel said, directing her gaze to the two of them. They looked fuzzy through the tears in her eyes. “No, I’ll go get some.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Samira offered when Mel stood.

“No, that’s okay,” Mel said, again distant to her own ears. “I need to use the bathroom anyway.” 

“Down the hall off the kitchen, on the left,” Abbot said.

Mel simply nodded before turning to the house and walking as fast as she could. She needed as much distance between her and Frank as possible.

In the bathroom, Mel stared at the empty toilet bowl. She had peed first, not having gone to the bathroom since she started drinking. Then, after redoing her pony tail to put the hairs that had come loose over the course of the night back in place, she lifted the lid on the toilet, and prepared herself to throw up.

But that had been 5 minutes ago, and she thought if she stared at the white porcelain any longer, she might start hallucinating images onto it. What she really needed, she decided, was water. She sighed, putting the lid down, when there was a knock on the door.

“One minute!” she called. She flushed the toilet despite it being empty, so whoever was out there would think she was completely normal and just using the bathroom and not drunk and heartbroken and wishing she could throw up all the alcohol in her system to sober up. She washed her hands quickly, putting cold water on her eyes to try to reduce the redness.

When she opened the door, she froze. Standing in front of her in the hall, leaning against the wall, was Frank. He was back in his Penguins t-shirt and jeans, holding a damp towel and his ratty med school hoodie in his hands. She could see dirt on his skin from the pond and his hair was still wet, pushed back from his face.

“Oh,” she said, surprised to see him.

“They said you were in here,” he said. He was watching her so carefully.

“Yup,” she said, not meeting his eyes and hoping she sounded normal. “I’m just gonna…” she let her voice trail off as she slipped by him towards the kitchen.

She felt him grab her arm and tug her back around to face him. If it was anyone else, she would have bristled at the touch and pulled away immediately. But this was Frank, and she might as well be putty in his hands.

He ducked his head to look at her. “Hey,” he said softly. “Have you… been crying?” Panic edged into his voice as he realized.

“No, of course not,” she said, slipping her arm out of his grasp and heading back to the kitchen. She could feel him follow, rather than see or hear. “I’m just dehydrated. I need water so badly.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said, still sounding suspicious. She could feel him watching her as she opened the fridge. “Grab me one?”

“Figured you had enough water,” she bit out. It wasn’t a particularly good comeback, but she wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to think of anything more clever than that. 

He let out a small huff that almost sounded like a scoff. It grated on Mel’s ears. “What the hell does that mean?”

She shut the fridge and pushed a water bottle into his chest with more force than necessary. “Nothing. I’m going back outside.”

“Ohhhkay,” he said, clearly exasperated. She slammed the door behind her as she walked outside. 

As she made her way back to the fire pit, she passed by Princess, Perlah, and Donnie, who were walking together in the opposite direction, towards the house.

“Hey!” Princess said cheerily. “We’re heading out!”

Mel glanced back at the fire pit to see people standing and talking, some exchanging hugs, and her heart sank again. 

She plastered a fake smile on her face as she looked back at the nurses. “Oh, yeah, of course! Have a good night!” 

“You too!” Perlah said, then adding, “You have someone to drive you home?”

Donnie laughed. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Um, yeah, Frank’s driving me.” It felt like a humiliating admission and she mumbled it to the ground when she said it.

“Oh right, of course,” Perlah said with a wink. “See you Monday!”

Mel nodded and walked past them to join the others at the fire pit. “Is everyone heading out?” she asked Samira when she got close enough.

“Yeah,” Samira answered, sending her a pitying look. “It’s getting late, and everyone figured that Langdon’s stunt was a good send off.”

Mel nodded numbly. “Are you staying here tonight?” She whispered so no one else would hear.

Samira nodded, pinching her face in another pitying look, like she knew exactly why Mel asked. 

“Meeelllll,” Santos’s voice was loud in her ear, and was the only warning she had before the other girls’ long arms wrapped around her shoulders. Mel stiffened at the contact, but grit her teeth through the interaction. Trinity meant well, and Mel knew if she was sober, she would not be touching anyone like this.

“We’re leaving,” Whitaker said apologetically to Mel, grabbing Santos’s arms and prying her off.

“Yeah, of course,” Mel smiled and watched Santos cling to Whitaker. If she remembered this in the morning, she would probably threaten Whitaker within an inch of his life not to tell anyone. “Um, are you driving?”

“No, Garcia is,” Dennis nodded to Garcia who was walking ahead of them towards the driveway. Mel didn’t think she’d bothered to say bye to anyone. 

“Oh, good, uh. Would it be possible for me to get a ride with you guys?” Mel asked quietly.

Whitaker frowned in confusion at that, his arm still around Santos’s waist to keep her upright. “You don’t… have a ride?” 

Santos burst out laughing in Whitaker’s ear from where her head was resting on his shoulder. “Melly Melly Mel. I thought Langdon was driving you home. Don’t you guys do, like, everything together?”

“Langdon is driving her home.” Frank’s voice was crystal clear from somewhere behind her and she shut her eyes, stomach flipping in embarrassment.

She felt him come up to her, his hand resting lightly on the small of her back, causing her stomach to flip again for a completely different reason. “Unless you don’t want to?” He added quietly, just to her. She could feel his breath on her ear and she shivered.

“No, yeah, that’s fine,” she said, matching his volume, only glancing up at him enough to see that he had washed the muck and algae off his face. He was far, far too close for her to think straight.

“Okay, Hucklesperry,” Santos slurred. “Let’s leave the lovebirds alone.”

Whitaker offered his goodbyes before helping Santos follow Garcia to the car. 

Mel and Frank took turns saying goodbye to all who were left. McKay was driving Javadi home, and Ellis had driven herself, so they all walked back to the driveway together after bidding farewell to Abbot. 

“Thanks for finally caving,” McKay had said to him, adding to Samira, “and thanks for finally convincing him.”

“It will not be happening again,” Abbot answered primly with a tight smile.

When Mel finally got into Frank’s pickup truck, she was considerably more sober, more tired, and more horrified than she had been the entire night. 

The weight of everything settled over her like a lead blanket. She had been so confident about their relationship to each other before tonight. So confident, in fact, that she had drunkenly and happily admitted to her feelings in front of all her coworkers. And then, she had been so swiftly and publicly rejected that it had felt like a sucker punch to her gut. Just thinking about it made the bile in her stomach swirl uncomfortably. She thought about how dishevelled and gross he had looked outside of the bathroom, how he had chosen that over kissing her.

His door opened and he got in the truck. Mel stared pointedly ahead as he turned it on and started down the driveway after Ellis in her Camry.

“Cold?” Frank asked.

“No,” she said, despite the way she was shivering. The fire had provided so much warmth, while the truck had spent the past few hours in the cold, its black, faux-leather interior offering nothing but chill.

Frank hummed in acknowledgment and turned the heat on. 

They sat in silence while the truck slowly warmed. Mel turned her head, staring out the window so she wouldn’t have to even chance a look at Frank, or give him the opportunity to see her face.

After a few minutes, Frank asked quietly, “Are you awake?”

It was the perfect out and she thought about taking it, but something compelled her to say, “No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She could hear his thumbs tapping on the steering wheel like he did when he was nervous.

“Talk about what, Frank?” She asked, finally turning her head to look at him. 

“Geez, I don’t know Mel,” he said, voice strained and exasperated. “How about, off the top of my head, why you’re mad at me?” His hand was in his hair, pulling at it haphazardly.

“I’m not mad at you,” she said softly. And it was true, because as much as she wanted to get away from him, as hurt as she was by the whole thing, and as embarrassed as she felt, she could never bring herself to really be mad at him.

“Really?” He didn’t sound like he believed her. When they stopped at a red light, he turned to look at her, eyes big and imploring, blue mixed with glowing red in the light. “Then, what’s up? You didn’t even want to ride with me?”

He was hurt, Mel could hear it in his voice. Her immediate reaction was to stand down, smooth it over, make him feel better. She never wanted to be the reason someone she cared about so much was hurting. 

But she also couldn’t ignore her own pain. That was where she’d gone wrong with Becca, putting every single one of her needs before her own. And she’d learned that lesson the hard way, twelve years of time wasted diminishing her own needs for her best friend and only family left. She wouldn’t do that with Frank. Mostly because she knew he wouldn’t want that either.

“The light’s green,” she said.

He blinked at her, face hardening and jaw tightening, before finally looking back at the road. The truck rolled forward through the intersection.

They stayed quiet for a few more minutes. Mel twisted her hands in her lap, growing more uncomfortable by the second. She knew the ball was in her court, she had to be the one to broach the topic, but she was so tired and it was so late. The glowing LED clock on the dashboard said 1:37, later than Mel had ever stayed up after a twelve hour shift. She wasn’t sure she could even coherently express her feelings to herself right now, let alone Frank.

She took a deep breath at the next stop light. Her shoulders were by her ears and her hands twisted painfully together, when she said, “Can we—?” and at the same time Frank turned and said, “Look, Mel—“

They both cut themselves off, staring at each other, then smiling. “You first,” Frank said gently, reaching over to grab Mel’s hands. She didn’t want to rely on him for comfort when he was the one causing her discomfort, but she couldn’t stop her hands from reaching up and grabbing his greedily. Her shoulders dropped slowly, putting her energy into gripping Frank’s hand.

“I was just going to ask if maybe we can talk about this tomorrow?” Mel said. “I’m really tired and I’m overstimulated and I just need to sleep. You should stay over and sleep on the couch.”

Frank watched her silently as she spoke. When she finished, the light turned green and he turned back to the road, but kept his hand in hers. “Well, I’m gonna need to shower,” he said. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course.” She squeezed his hand, hoping that he would understand what she was feeling.

“Okay,” he said. But his tone was off. He didn’t seem okay. 

Mel let it go for a few minutes, worrying her lip with her teeth and still gripping Frank’s hand while she tried to sift through her thoughts. 

He didn’t seem thrilled about staying over, which was strange because normally he was happy to. She knew he had work tomorrow, but it wasn’t totally unusual for him to go to work from her house. She had some of his clothes, an extra toothbrush, had even bought his favorite shampoo just for when he stayed over. 

Mel knew Frank better than she knew herself some days. Under any other circumstances, if they were arguing or upset about something, and she asked to talk about it later, he would be fine with it. So what was holding him back? 

She felt like they were so off from each other tonight. Normally, they could read each others’ minds, knowing what the other person thought, felt, and needed before they even had to say anything. It had never been hard like this with Frank before. But something had happened earlier, around the time she had confessed her feelings, she thought, where they slipped out of sync with each other. The whole thing made Mel feel off balance, like her entire world was shifted offkilter just because they weren’t operating on the same wavelength.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” she finally asked.

“What?” He frowned at her, eyebrows knitted together.

“Oh, um, you staying over,” she clarified, realizing it had been several minutes since they’d had that conversation and he was right to be confused. “Are you sure that’s okay? You just seem, I don't know…off, still.”

Frank sighed heavily. “Yeah, I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t really want to sleep on the couch. Or wait until the morning to talk. But I don't want to push you, I know you’re tired.”

Guilt washed over Mel, settling in her stomach like a pit. “You don’t have to stay over if you don’t want to. I don’t want to push you.”

Frank huffed out an unsteady laugh. “That’s not… that’s not really the issue.” 

Mel wasn’t understanding. What was with them tonight, why couldn’t she understand? “Okay, then let’s talk,” she said, sitting up.

“Mel, no.” He looked over at her, brows furrowed again. “You said this isn’t a good time for you, let’s leave it at that. I’ll stay over and we’ll talk in the morning, that’s what’s best for both of us.”

“I was upset because you didn’t kiss me,” Mel blurted out, heart racing. “I was so embarrassed because I had just said I had a… a crush on you. Which apparently was very obvious to everyone, but I had no idea. I mean, I had no idea that it was obvious. And then when Garcia dared you to kiss me and you chose to jump in the pond instead, I mean…” Tears pricked at her eyes. She felt so childish, the whole situation was something she should have gone through at 15, not 30. “How was I supposed to take that Frank?”

Frank’s whole body reacted, suddenly restless and trying to swivel his head between her and the road. “Shit, Mel, I wasn’t trying to… Look would you really have wanted me to kiss you?”

“I mean, I don’t want to force you to do something you clearly don’t want to,” Mel said, voice clipped.

“What? Mel you can’t possibly think—“ He ran a hand through his hair, taking advantage of the stop sign at the end of her road to take his hand off the wheel. The other was still clutched in Mel’s hands where she was squeezing so hard even she thought she would break it. “Mel, did you really want to kiss like Javadi and Santos? In front of everyone? On a dare? Everyone chanting at us? While you were drunk?!”

Mel faltered. “Oh, so you were being chivalrous?” She said incredulously. “Thanks for being my white knight, Frank, and publicly rejecting me. That definitely felt better than being kissed after I admitted I had feelings for you!”

Frank winced. “I thought you wouldn’t want that! I thought you’d be uncomfortable and I didn’t want to make a thing of it!”

“Well at least Javadi asked Trinity,” Mel snapped. “You didn’t even bother asking me, you just decided for me. I didn’t get any say. So don’t say it’s my fault.” 

They pulled into her driveway and Frank sighed heavily. “You’re right,” he said, taking his hand away to unbuckle and lean on the console to look at her. He offered it back, but she pointedly didn’t take it.

“You’re right,” he said again, firmer, looking her in the eye now. “It wasn’t just about your feelings. But believe me when I say that I absolutely took that into account. But, no, the real reason is because I didn’t want it to be like that. I didn’t want to kiss you because we were pressured into it while you were drunk and we were playing truth or dare with our so-called-adult coworkers.”

“Why didn’t you just say that?” Mel asked, staring at her hands.

She could feel him looking at her, ducking his head slightly to try to catch her gaze. “Because, like I said, I assumed you felt the same. I thought we were on the same wavelength… but I was wrong.”

Hearing him confirm what she also felt, the adrenaline in Mel’s system finally wore out. She was suddenly so overcome with exhaustion, like gravity was pulling her down a little harder than usual. She looked out the windshield at her second floor apartment, lamp on in the entryway waiting for her. All she wanted was to go to sleep, all of this was too much for her. 

“You don’t want to sleep on the couch?” Mel repeated, remembering what he said earlier.

He was clearly surprised by the switch in topic, but responded easily. “I mean, not particularly.” 

When Mel looked at him he had a smirk on his face and there was mirth in his eyes, like this was all a joke to him. One last flare of anger shot through her like lightning and she gritted out, “None of this is funny, Frank. Go sleep in your own bed, then.”

In one quick motion, she opened the door, hopped out of the truck, and was beelining for her front door. 

“Mel, what? Wait!” He was out of the truck and grabbing her arm in less than a second. He pulled her to him just like before, but this time more forcefully so that she crashed directly into his chest, her hands braced against him. 

She stared up at his face, frozen on the spot. His eyes were searching hers frantically, searching for something. Trying to tell her something. “Mel,” he said so softly she barely heard. 

And just like that, they clicked back into place, in sync with each other the way they always had been, and she knew exactly what he wanted. She wasn't sure what she did, but something in her face must have told him, yes, because a second later he was leaning down and kissing her.

When Mel had told everyone it had been two years since she kissed anyone, it hadn’t been a lie. He had worked at the VA and their relationship lasted 6 dates total. They had kissed after their second date and had sex twice before she broke it off because, while he was fun and interesting, she thought they couldn’t be more than friends. She had liked him, but she had certainly never wanted him, not like how she wanted Frank. She had never wanted anyone like she wanted him. And here, standing in her driveway at almost 2 in the morning, kissing Frank Langdon, she felt like she had never actually kissed anyone at all. It had never felt like this.

One of his large hands was pressed to the nape of her neck, angling her head just right so he could lock his lips firmly against hers. His other hand was wrapped around her waist, taking advantage of his long arms to hold her up on her tip toes and firmly against him. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, one hand in his hair, still slimy and wet from the pond, but she couldn’t care less right now. 

In seconds he deepened the kiss, her mouth parting happily for him. She let out a sigh as he gripped her tighter, like he needed to fuse them together to be close enough. The pressure of his grip was almost painful, but Mel couldn’t get enough. She wanted to stay this way forever with him.

When he finally pulled away, only far enough to press their foreheads together, they were both panting. He stole another chaste kiss from her before whispering, “That’s what I wanted our first kiss to be like.”

Mel let out a breathy laugh, one that she’d never heard herself make before. He rubbed their noses together and smiled at her, distracting her from any coherent thoughts. “Um, and when you said you didn’t want to sleep on the couch?”

His grin turned borderline predatory when he said, “I think I’d prefer your bed this time. Couch isn’t great for my back.”

Mel gasped, horrified. “You never said anything before!”

He kissed her again, and she let out an embarrassing whine that he seemed very smug about when he pulled away. “Why would I complain about sleeping on your couch when it meant I got to see you in the morning with bed head and those tiny pajama shorts you wear?” His hand at her waist squeezed gently, punctuating his thought process.

She felt herself blush and shook her head at him, trying and failing to hide a pleased grin. “Well, you can still get those things. But I promise you’ll never have to suffer on the couch again.”

His smile was so wide, so happy, that it made her heart ache. “Thank god,” he said, before catching her lips with his again. 

She pulled away before he could deepen it more. “Come on,” she said, pulling away from him to grab his hand and drag him after her towards her front door. “I’m exhausted and I want to sleep. But you’re not going near my bed until you shower off that filthy pond water.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind while she fiddled with the key to her door. It always jammed at the most inconvenient times. He was nipping at her neck when he whispered, “Dare you to shower with me?”

Her whole body felt like it was on fire as she finally pushed the door open. “Don’t push your luck,” she said, dragging him up the stairs as fast as she could.