Chapter Text
“Oh, isn’t Jackie having dinner here tonight? I made pasta.” Deb shipman asked as she put three plates down on the wooden table, still wearing her nurse scrubs.
“Nah, she’s going to drive around with Jeff.”
Shauna rolled her eyes. It was friday night and they’d seen each other every day that week, but the mere thought of her best friend sitting in another car that wasn’t her beat-up Ford made her nauseous.
She wondered what kind of music they listened to on nights like these. Would Jeff let Jackie put on her girly pop mixes like Shauna did? Did he even know what kind of music she liked? Would he pick different cheesy romance songs every time they hung out? Would they even get to listen to music or would Jeff’s insufferable boyish voice fill the silence the entire ride?
She’d buy every Madonna cassette in stock if it meant not having to share Jackie. Having her all to herself. Eating her favourite food, watching Beaches for the hundredth time. Drinking from strawberry lipgloss stained glasses, giving up every part of herself just to be with her.
“Does it bother you?”
“What?”
Her mom had already served the food while she spaced out, and she quickly sat down. The empty plate next to her felt like it was mocking her.
“Jackie.” Deb filled up her glass with water and looked into her eyes. “Her hanging out with Jeff. Does it bother you?”
“Why would it?”
Yeah exactly, why would it? Why did it bother her the way it did? She angrily twirled her fork, appetite quite gone.
Her mom hummed, deep in thought. “I don’t know, I think I’d be pretty pissed if my boyfriend rode around with a girl.”
Shauna choked on nothing and gasped for air.
Deb put a hand over her mouth. “Oh no! I was supposed to act surprised when you told me! I was doing so well, I’m sorry sweetie!”
“What the hell.” Shauna took a gulp of water “are you even talking about?! I’m not dating fucking Jeff, for god’s sake!”
“Dear, you know I’m not talking about Jeff. You know you can tell me anything right? I have plenty of homosexual friends at work. And I really like Jackie, she’s like a daughter to me. I’ve seen the way you look at each other, I know you really love her.”
Shauna wanted the kitchen floor to open in half and swallow her whole. Her face lit up like lava.
Just the implication of her being anywhere near Jeff was enough to make her violent, but hearing her own mother being convinced, being sure of her being in love with her girl best friend was too much.
“Come on dear, I’m your mom, of course I’m going to notice how you drive her to school every morning even though it takes you double the time. I’ve heard you two talk, I’ve seen how you lock your door every time she comes over, and I know for a fact you two sleep on the same bed.”
Seeing her daughter’s bewildered face, Deb put her hands up. “I’m not being angry sweetie, as long as you’re being safe I’m happy for you, i swear.”
“I- This- This talk” Shauna’s chair screeched as she stood up “didn’t happen, and won’t happen again. And i am not in love with Jackie. I’m completely sure of it.”
Her mother’s reassurances followed her all the way up to her room, until she locked the door. This was absolutely ridiculous, what was her mother even thinking? She didn’t even like girls like, at all. She’d never stared at any girl in the changing room, specially not Jackie, she made very sure of it every time. Just as she made sure not to stare at her mouth any time she talked.
Soft honey blonde hair made its way into her mind. She angrily threw herself onto her bed and screamed at her pillow until her throat started to hurt.
Shauna tossed and turned all night trying to fall asleep, but frutal scented lips kept flooding her dreams.
The next morning, as she went down the stairs feeling more tired than before going to sleep and thanking whoever god responsible for her mother not being home, she saw two paper lunch bags on the table.
The first one was blank. The second one read ‘for jackie <3’ written in pen.
Shauna threw both bags in the trash and growled all the way to her car.