Chapter Text
"Baby please, you have to believe me! I was drunk, she didnt mean anything!"
The words echoed, sheer fear and regret lacing in between each breath Heeseung took. The words, even though basically shouted, voice cracking with emotion were almost muted through the harsh rain abusing his flesh, leaving red marks all over his tear stained skin.
"Don't fucking cry. You know what you did. I never want to see your face ever again. Go away."
The words seemed to cut open Heeseungs chest, the feeling as if Jungwon had just ripped his heart out and tossed it over a bridge, hitting the water and getting devoured by sharks. They seemed to crack open whatever sheer will was keeping Heeseung together.
A fresh wave of new tears spilled over running down Heeseungs face, his eyes red and his hair soaked from the rain. How could he have let this happen? Losing the boy hed loved since seventh grade when he held his pink umbrella over his head, standing on his tippy toes to reach his height at the time, sitting next to him on the rocks near the basketball courts as he waited for the rain to let up. The boy he swore to protect, to cherish, to love for all eternity. The boy he swore hed stay faithful to during a cold winter evening while watching 'How to lose a guy in 10 days' in the background, under a thick strawberry themed blanket Heeseung had bought him one day on their 3 month anniversary. Too soon? Maybe. But Heeseung swore he found the one hed give up the universe for, and maybe he had. Until a couple nights ago. Now the very rain pouring down on him, mixing with the saltiness of his tears and the heartbroken look on Jungwons face seemed to mock him. Their sweet meeting 6 years ago now taunting him and washing away the shattered pieces of their hearts.
"P-please won.. dont do this to me.." Heeseung didnt bother to hide the fact he was full on sobbing, messy streaks running down his rain soaked face that dripped onto the floor as he got down on his knees infront of Jungwon rain now pelting his back harshly as it ran down from the awning Jungwon was currently standing under, watching Heeseung plead for his now pierced heart, begging for the scraps of love and affection he now had no privilege to.
"Im not forgiving you for this Heeseung, dont beg outside my door like an innocent man." Jungwons tone was cold, final. If only a couple days ago you told him that theyd end up like this, no one wouldve believed you. The sweet, loving couple built from two childhood sweethearts were now crumbling more and more with every passing second. The scene was almost hard to watch, Lee Heeseung, usually charming and flirtatious was breaking apart infront of his now ex lover's door, his jeans soaking up the rain on the wooden steps flourished with little strawberries he had helped him paint, flower pots just under the awning infront of him. The vibrant reds and yellows and oranges now dulled to a muted grey under the unimpressed shadow of Jungwon.
Jungwon looked at the man now begging infront of him with teary eyes that seemed to hold the betrayal from that night. The look on Heeseungs face, the sincerity in his words almost made him want to forgive and forget. To rip him off the ground and hold him for what seemed like forever and let him in. To wipe his memory of what had happened at the party and the naivety he had always had when it came to love. Jungwon was tempted in ways he cursed himself for, for still feeling the pain when he shouldve just moved on and forgotten him as a piece of his past, but the history they had sustained. In all fights and arguments, it had usually been Heeseung to apologise first, even before they had started dating 2 years ago. Before the flowers and a saddened expression on his face, he had always been the guilty type, typically, because he was usually the one to mess up first.
Back in the eighth grade when they were still hormonal teenagers that gave eachother backshots in roblox and sent flirty texts that they were only half joking about. That was when they had their first major argument. It started off with something simple: Heeseung's stress level skyrocketed when he had to sing for some stupid charity his family had signed him up for and Jungwon had to make a speech to the entire grade for student council representive. The two boys were both constantly nervous - jerky and anxious, causing them to spend all their time practicing and ignoring eachother. The negligence dragged them further and further apart until they dropped into a pit of no contact. And fuck, Heeseung was absolutely spiraling. The night of the charity event finally came, and Heeseung was on the verge of fucking digging a hole into the stage with his bare hands and burying himself there for the rest of his life. Although him and Jungwon had gradually drifted apart, he still shot him a quick text, "U still coming to see me sing???" and dropped his phone onto the couch immediately after to go practice for his performance in 20 minutes. Sure he was confident in his voice, everyone knew his voice was absolutely beautiful, but the nerves were creeping over, and the constant nagging ache in the back of his head kept looking for Jungwon backstage. But he never showed up, never even opened the text. He was too busy at home rewriting and memorising his speech phone on silent and the calendar on his wall marked a day too late. A simple mistake made from erratic and rushed movements between packing his bag for taekwondo and trying to put on his pants at the same time. But that very mistake almost cost their whole friendship.
20 minutes later and Heeseung was now on stage with his microphone that still had a cat drawing on the handle area, courtesy of Jungwon that one time he came over and drew all over his hands while he was trying to memorise the chorus of some random song. The gesture was annoying at the time but now felt like the only thing preventing him from floating up straight to heaven after dying on stage. For gods sake he was nervous, thumbs brushing the face of the cat, but he didnt seem to notice, too busy scanning for Jungwons face in the crowd. His eyes navigated the familiar room in which was the lobby of the company building where the charity event was being held. There were investors everywhere, none of which he recognised. He only briefly categorised them into his parents company associates, and none of them having the face of the boy with dimples and round cheeks. He was still scanning the massive lobby when the lights dimmed and the backtrack started playing and he knew he was doomed. His best friend was a no show, and now this show was going to be drowned with the amount of sweat and no support Heeseung was currently emitting, but mama didnt raise no quitter. It was either go big or go home and if he didnt do something in the next 2 seconds he was gonna burst into tears right then and there, so, like every sensible person that didnt want to humiliate themselves infront of 200 people, he started singing. The song was relatively short and everyone seemed to appreciate his voice, especially his sparkling eyes parents at the front of the crowd, silently cheering him on.
The song was over before he knew it, a quick bow and then he dashed off the stage and into the private room his parents reserved for him and him only (and maybe Jungwon if he had decided to show up). The disappointment hit him harder than he adrenaline rush of being praised by 200 grown adults did. Where was Jungwon? He was supposed to be here. And in those very moments he had realised how little contact the two had given eachother. He realised how they had completely cut each other off without even noticing. In his daze, he picked up his phone and called Jungwon. If the boy wasnt dead or abducted by aliens he was gonna be PISSED.
"Hello?" The younger boy's sweet voice rang out, slightly out of breath from pacing his bedroom and editing his speech.
"You didnt come to my show." Heeseung choked out, the initial worry wearing off into slight anger. Surely there was a reasonable explanation for his lack of presence.
"What? Its tomorrow isnt it?" Jungwon asked, genuinely confused as he rushed to the calendar on his wall. The date marked for the next day.
"No, it was today. And i literally texted you 20 minutes in advance Jungwon!" Heeseung answered, his voice rising slightly.
"B-but on my calend-"
"I dont care about your stupid fucking calendar! I needed you there! I almost fucking passed out on stage and the only support i had was the fucking cat that looks like a foot you drew a couple weeks ago!"
"I-I.. I d-didnt mean to-"
"We barely talk anymore won, i dont see you at school either! The one day i need your support the most, youre a no show. I cant believe this." Heeseung scoffed.
"Its not all my fault! You didnt make much of an effort to contact me either!"
Heeseung froze. Because it was true. He hadnt really been trying to talk to Jungwon either, usually brushing it off as something hed do later. But the consequences were unveiled. They were having their first argument in the 2 years of friendship. Mid-contemplation, Heeseung had now noticed muffled sniffing on the other end of the line.
Was Jungwon crying?
"Won..?"
"mff..w-what.."
The sniffing sounds were more muffled but still obvious, and the quieter more cracky voice.
Fuck.
"Are you-"
"Dont talk to me.."
Beep.
The call had ended. Jungwon had hung up. Heeseung really was a shitty person.
That night, Heeseung was left to wilt away with guilt in his bed, clutching the massive stuffed bear to his body and wrapping his legs around it like a desperate, clingy animal begging for love on the streets. He was unravelling, he needed to talk to Jungwon personally, not via online communication where he could easily ignore it.
So thats what he did.
The next night he spent the whole time arranging a whole ass speech and buying him a whole box of that stupid strawberry milk drink he loved so much. Thankfully, his parents didnt mention it when he sneakily placed it under the regular milk on their next shopping trip. Or when he added some, and by some he meant 10 sheets of the cute cat stickers Jungwon loved to hoard and stick everywhere, including Heeseung himself, although he did get a few weird looks from his brother when he slid them into the cart.
When they got home, he ran straight to his room and grabbing a glue stick, a couple sheets of paper and a few markers and proceeded to spend the next 2 hours making some elaborate origami box that he placed the sticker sheets he had cut up into small squares inside before shutting the cap and making sure the weird mechanism that made it unfold like a flower worked. Then he grabbed the 6 strawberry milks and arranging them perfectly before tying them all together with a pink ribbon. Excessive much? Absolutely, but this is what you do when you make your best friend cry and feel like jumping off a cliff before being forgiven. Then, he spent 30 minutes writing the perfect card, hand drawing every single little design and, yes, cat. By the time he was done, he was exhausted, going to take a shower and eat dinner before going straight to bed, mouth still burning from mouthwash and face still sticky from skincare.
The next morning came too early, he was still reeling from guilt when he saw the well prepared make up gifts on the desk, immediately waking him up. The morning passed in a blur from anticipation, would Jungwon accept it? Or would he run away the whole day and never see Heeseung ever again. He hoped the first option was correct as he got into the car alongside his brother that sent him multiple knowing looks.
When they arrived at school, Heeseung ran straight to the classroom where he knew Jungwon would be preparing for his student council speech for the assemble in 10 minutes, almost slamming into the door when he saw Jungwon in the window.
"Won!" He was panting now, rushing to Jungwon.
He thrusted the box and strawberry drinks into Jungwon's tiny white hands, blurting out the longass speech he had prepared in advance.
"Yang Jungwon im so, so sorry that i havent been contacting you and blamed it on you when it was the result of both of our personal lives and experiences i never wanted to make you cry and feel like the villian im so sorry and ill never do it ever again!" He rushed, practically rapping. His face was now flushed, hiding the love he truly felt for the shorter boy with his eyes shut tight.
For a minute, no one moved, talked or even blinked. Heeseung thought: Fuck. Its over. When suddenly, Jungwon was crashing himself into Heeseungs arms, suffocating him with an embrace so tight he mightve crushed a watermelon faster than 1000 rubber bands did, but the relief overtook Heeseungs whole body, hugging him back just as tight.
After that, Jungwon went on to do his speech, achieving the role of student council representative that was announced the next week. Heeseung took him to get ice cream after, just being two grade 8 boys that loved eachother without knowing.
Without knowing in 6 years, one would be begging on his knees, sobbing while the other watched, heart broken in two and too scared of facing the same betrayal to take him back.