Work Text:
i.
“What big teeth you have,” says the boy.
Raphael does not have teeth. Or: he does not use them to harm. In reality they protrude from his mouth; anyone that looks at him can see that he is a monster, that he can hurt. They don’t see what is inside of him, though, they don’t see the gold in him. The composure that he keeps. They see blood on his paws and run, but it’s his own blood, spilling from him like loving.
He has to pretend to hurt, because hurting makes you look stronger. This life, with Camille, is all about being strong. Even when you have your own blood on your paws. Even when you have big teeth. Even when you’re forced to do things that hurt you, like kidnap mundanes, and—
Strength.
“All the better to eat you with,” he says. “My dear.”
ii.
“Who’s the fairest of them all, Raphael?”
When he lets Simon go, Camille—
“You are, Camille,” he says. “You are. But…”
—does things. More of his blood on his paws.
It doesn’t matter.
“But what?”
Camille turns to him, growling. Fangs out. Maybe she will end this.
“But,” he says, “on the inside, there are millions that are more beautiful than you.”
iii.
(“Kill him,” she says. “And as proof, bring me his heart.”)
Simon returns to the hotel and it’s like Raphael has been waiting for it, the moment that will make it all end. End the blood and the hurt and the strength.
“You don’t think I’m going to save your worthless life again,” he says. In this story, he is the Big Bad Wolf because he has to be, because Simon has to leave before Camille senses him. What big teeth you have! What big eyes you have! What a big heart you have, Raphael. What a sad little heart.
Simon runs.
iv.
Camille gives Simon the poisoned apple in the form of a bite.
Raphael—
Raphael could have stopped this. He should have stopped this. He gave it his soul or what’s left of it but that wasn’t enough. Simon is dead. Not dead. He could come back. He could save Simon.
He could.
It’s his fault. The Big Bad Wolf is not supposed to have feelings.
v.
He takes Simon to the bears that live in the forest. The Institute is too big, too small, but the Shadowhunters leave him and then the Institute becomes just right. Just right with Simon’s body on the table, just right with Raphael in the back of the room on the chair that isn’t too big or too small, but too far away; Simon’s body is after the light and Raphael can’t touch it, can’t do anything that he wants to do like: pray and forgive and hold, and
It’s not
Just right. This story is not about a girl who went on a walk in the forest, it’s a story about a man who walked (just) right into his own grave thinking about safety. If it was anyone other than Clary Fairchild they would have killed him.
He would have deserved it. It would have been freeing.
vi.
In this story the Beast defeats the Evil Queen, and Simon comes to live with Raphael in his castle. Long ago, someone evil turned Raphael into a hideous beast, but he has Simon now, in his castle, and Simon will turn him back into the prince that he was long, long ago. Two beasts without a beauty, saving each other.
Once upon a time—