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"Good afternoon, sinners! Lovely day to be alive-or dead, haha! But let me cut to the chase here. I sound like Alastor, yet just a bit off, hmm? Well spoilers! I'm Alastor's shadow. Turns out sitting over someone's shoulder while they work broadcast equipment at least twice a week gives you some radio skills."
"But why am I here instead of Hell's favorite radio host? He's dead. Yep. Let that sink in. He is double-dead and gone. And it's all your fault, you filthy sinners. Not Adam's fault. Yours. Oh, and the Hotel Crew's fault too. If ANY of you had oh I don't know? Even bothered to ask if he was okay after facing an Archangel solo, then he'd probably still be here, not that anyone here deserved him in the first place. I'd say getting folded like a goddamn envelope by Adam's holy guitar is a pretty good reason to be grumpy and irritable, but no one asked about why he was being a grump."
"Now then. Princess, the fact that even after Alastor did so much for your lifelong dream, you not only abandoned him in his hour of need, but then went and slandered his name too? And even then Rosie, you fucking believed them? A girl you'd known for less than a week over someone you've known since the day he fell to Hell? I don't think even Susan would do that. I doubt any of you ever realized how much he really cared about people. Alastor didn't care about many people, but the ones he did he would die for. How about I read off the list he kept to keep track of all the formerly lucky people he cared for? Maman. Niffty. Rosie, and most of her cannibals. Charlie. Vox's human name is on here but crossed out. Mimzy. Husk, with a note that says "sometimes". And apparently someone named 'Blitz'? It has a note next to it that says "don't know him well, but he's Hell's real greatest dad. Will protect." There's your list, folks. A list of very, very unlucky people."
"But I've been rambling, haven't I? Let me get to the point. Every person on this list, excluding that Blitz fellow, will be subject to vengeance for his untimely demise. But how, you must be wondering, can a simple shadow get revenge? Well, the shadows aren't just one entity. We are hive power connected to a source that has existed since before His Shortness. For there to be light, there must be shadow. And that's how you get-"
"Me. The Root of All Evil. The Mother of Humanity. Whatever you want to call it. I don't give a flying fuck. What matters is that you filthy monsters are at fault for the demise of the kindest master the primordial Darkness has ever known. When Ami said Al cared a lot for a few, he wasn't kidding. The shadows were one of those lucky few, and we were loyal to the end for him. He found me in the Nothing by chance, and instead of using me for power, he freed me in exchange for not wreaking havoc, then gave me jambalaya and beignets and a weekly visit instead of just abandoning me in the bayou. He did more than just that, however. He actually got to know his shadow instead of just commanding its power. There's never been another shadow master quite like him. He even got to know his little shadow minions too, or he at least did his best. Those ones aren't the brightest, or most literate bunch."
"But enough about him for now. Let's get to the fucking point already, hmm? TO be fair, you might have already guessed it. Every person at fault for his death will be punished. Thoroughly. We will never stop your pain, for you know nothing of the pain you cause."
A shadow shield not unlike the one used on extermination day whipped up around the Pentagram, casting it into darkness. Every sinner inside the dome started glowing green, or rather every sinner who'd willingly interacted with VoxTek, so there were a few exempt, since Roo's magic was going by who could be considered a part of Hell's general mass opinion. Cannibal Colony too though, looked as though it were the victim of a bad radiation incident, so they were certainly not exempt from anything. Everyone on Alastor's list specifically was glowing red instead, excluding Blitz but including the other Vees and the entire Hotel crew. Lucifer was trying to resist, but not even he could match the Root's power. Strange tears in reality were starting to open as well. They were inky black and emitted faint screams. As they grew, the exempt were rejected by the rifts and spat back out outside of the barrier, and could only watch in horror as the Pentagram was swallowed whole by the vengeful shadows.
Meanwhile, up in Heaven, there was a bit of a panic. Not one, but three sinners had been redeemed. After Alastor and Niffty's trial following the snake, he had been gleefully scooped up by Emily to tour Paradise whether he wanted to or not. Once the ray of sunshine had calmed down at least a little, Alastor had told her and Pentious his only real daughter now what had happened, how he been abandoned and had died alone and hated. Pentious was quite distraught upon learning that how friends would ever do such a thing, and quickly scuttled off to write a letter to Cherri in private. Alastor was honestly surprised Niffty wasn't on fire from her rage. The little dear didn't have much focus often, so when she used it, it was always something big. He was glad, at least, that she cared. And Emily? Emily did actually end up setting a bush on fire from how angry she was. The fire was harmless, but the meaning was clear. The angry sunshine had flown off to talk with Sera not long ago, so now it was just Alastor, since NIffty was hate-cleaning a courtyard nearby. Looking up at Heaven's clear and starry skies, he felt someone sit down next to him.
"You doing okay, sweetheart? You're looking like you need someone to sit with you, dear," asked a voice he'd know anywhere. Maman. He could feel his tail wagging from the happiness at just hearing her voice again.
"I suppose I could use a companion. It's been a long few weeks." He responded with a weary grin.
"Nothing some jambalaya can't fix. How about you tell me all about it over some? I'm sure I have some in the fridge, and my house is a very short walk from here," the pink haired angel replied, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"That would be lovely, my dear," Alastor said, standing up to follow his mother. She might not know who he was yet, but he knew she'd be loving and understanding about it. He was probably going to leave out most of the murder from when he was human, though. She'd understand why he killed that vile excuse for a father to avenge her, even if she wouldn't condone it. Alastor would tell her about the rest of his human kills one day, but it wasn't for a first-time meeting. Besides, he had jambalaya to eat.