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Jesper had discovered a particular joy shortly after the start of their relationship, entirely by accident. He had called Wylan "beautiful" over breakfast, just a simple, offhand compliment, nothing elaborate, and Wylan had dropped his spoon.
"I'm not-" Wylan had started, his ears turning pink. "You don't have to- I mean, it's just-" He'd stopped, swallowed, and tried again. "Th-thank you."
Jesper had blinked, then grinned. He filed the information away for future use.
Now, months later, Jesper had become something of a connoisseur. He knew exactly which compliments would hit hardest, which endearments would short-circuit Wylan's brain, which casual touches would reduce his lover to a stuttering, blushing mess. It had become a guilty pleasure.
Tonight, they were on the settee. Jesper was reading one of his favorite penny dreadfuls. Wylan was curled up against him, reading a chemistry journal. He was focused, intent, his lips moving slightly as he worked through a particularly dense passage.
Jesper put aside the penny dreadful and watched Wylan for a moment, admiring the way the lamplight caught the stubble on his jaw. He still hadn't shaved. They had recently discovered the joys of stubble and the heat it created. It was like pouring petrol on a flame, it almost drove Jesper mad with need. Now and then they'd let it grow out a bit and reap the lusty rewards.
He smiled to himself and leaned over to press a kiss to Wylan's temple.
"You're so beautiful when you're concentrating," Jesper said. "Your brow gets all furrowed. Like you're trying to solve the mysteries of the universe."
Wylan's hand froze on the page. His ears went pink.
"I'm not-" he started. "It's just-the article is about-there's a-" He stopped. Swallowed. Tried again. "The m-ol-ec-u-lar structure is-" He stumbled over the word, breaking it into too many syllables.
Jesper's smile widened.
"Mo-le-cu-lar," Wylan tried again, his voice pitching higher.
"Take your time, sunshine," Jesper purred.
Wylan shot him a look, half exasperation, half desperation. "You're doing this on pur-pose."
"Purpose," Jesper corrected gently. "Not pur-pose."
Wylan's face went crimson. He set down his journal with exaggerated care, as if it might explode, and turned to face Jesper.
"I hate you," Wylan said.
"No, you don't."
"I don't." Wylan's shoulders dropped. He leaned his head back against the settee, staring at the ceiling. "But sometimes you're ...trouble."
"I know, sweetheart."
"And impossible."
"Yes, dear."
"...are you patronizing me?"
"Not at all, honey." Wylan shot him a look.
Jesper laughed, soft, warm, full of love. He reached over and took Wylan's hand, lacing their fingers together.
"I love watching you fall apart," Jesper said. "Not in a mean way. In a... you're so brilliant all the time. So put together. And I get to be the one who makes you forget how to speak."
Wylan turned his head, his brown eyes meeting Jesper's. "You're impossible."
"You've mentioned that."
"I'll mention it again. You're impossible, Jesper Fahey."
Jesper grinned. "You love that I'm impossible. Admit it."
Wylan's lips curved. "I love you."
They sat there for a moment, hands intertwined, the lamplight warm around them. The journal lay forgotten on Wylan's lap, their cats Milo and Shadow asleep on the carpet.
"You know what my favorite is?" Jesper said.
"What?"
"When you try to say 'ridiculous.'"
Wylan's eyes narrowed. "I can say 'ridiculous.'"
"Go on, then."
"Ridiculous." Wylan said it perfectly, his voice steady, his pronunciation flawless.
"You know, you're very pretty when you're annoyed with me.", Jesper waited.
Wylan opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
"Ridic-" He stopped. Swallowed. "Ridic-*u*-lous."
He'd added an extra syllable. Split it in the wrong place.
Jesper's face lit up. "There it is."
If looks could kill, the look Wylan shot him at that moment would definitely have done it. Wylan buried his face in his hands. "I hate you."
"No, you don't."
"I don't." Wylan's voice was muffled, but Jesper could hear him smiling. "I really don't."
Jesper pulled Wylan's hands away from his face and kissed him, soft, slow, part apology for exasperating him.
"I love you, my ridicul-ous, beautiful, brilliant Wylan."
Wylan groaned. "You're never going to let me live it down, are you?"
"Never," Jesper said. "It's going in my wedding vows."
Wylan stared at him. "You're planning wedding vows?"
Jesper shrugged, but his eyes were soft. "I'm planning everything, sunshine. Everything."
Wylan's throat tightened. His ears went pink. He opened his mouth to say something, probably something witty, probably something deflecting, but what came out was: "You're im-poss-" He stopped. Swallowed. "Im-poss-i-ble."
Jesper laughed, bright and joyful, the sound filling the flat, "Yes, I know. Guilty as charged." He put his hands up with a mock look of guilt, and then pulled Wylan close, wrapping his arms around him, holding him tightly but gently.
"And I love you," Jesper said. "I love your stuttering and your blushing and the way you say 'ridiculous.' I love every part of you, even the parts you think are embarrassing." Jesper confessed. "Especially those parts.", he emphasized.
Wylan's arms came around Jesper. "Even the part that can't say 'molecular'?", he smiled.
"Yes, especially that part."
Wylan laughed, a real laugh, bright and unguarded. He pulled back just enough to look at Jesper's face. "You're ridiculous," Wylan said, perfectly.
Jesper's grin was wide. "I know, love."
They kissed, slow, deep, a seal on a promise. And when they finally broke apart, Wylan picked up his journal and tried again to read.
But Wylan's ears were still pink. And his lips were still curved. And every time Jesper looked at him, just looked, said nothing, Wylan's concentration wavered. It was adorable. That was the thing about being loved by Jesper. It was impossible to ignore. Impossible to dismiss. Impossible to read through. Just impossible, and ridiculous. Not that Wylan was complaining.
He'd take the stuttering. He'd take the blushing. He'd take the mispronounced words and the scrambled sentences. Because it meant he was loved, and that was worth it.