Archive of Our Own

Eddie could stay here forever and die a happy man.

Here being Buck’s bedroom, Buck’s bed, with the man himself tucked up close, his chest pressed to Eddie’s back. His arm was thrown loosely around Eddie’s waist, his fingers resting gently against his stomach. At some point through the night, he’d wedged one of his legs between Eddie’s. His foot was cold where it rested against Eddie’s ankle.

He didn’t mind being Buck’s personal space heater. He ran hot anyway.

Soft little puffs of breath ghosted over the back of Eddie’s neck where Buck’s face was tucked on the pillow. It sent pleasant little shivers down his spine.

Eddie was still getting used to this, to being the one that was held and not doing the holding. Being the smaller one in the relationship.

He kind of…really loved it actually.

Before getting together with him, Eddie hadn’t really realized how much bigger Buck was than him. Sure, he knew the man was taller, broader, more muscular.

But, when he’d stood toe-to-toe with him the night they finally crossed the invisible line that had been holding Eddie back for years, Eddie had to tilt his head back slightly to make eye contact with Buck. He’d had to stand on his tiptoes when he’d finally worked up the courage to kiss him. Buck had literally lifted Eddie up and held him like he weighed nothing as they made out in the middle of Buck’s kitchen.

For his entire life so far, he’d been the bigger one in his past relationships–the one who did the lifting. But with Buck, Eddie got to experience the other side of that dynamic and he loved it.

It had only been a week of dating, but Eddie had already caught himself thinking about what kind of ring Buck would like. He already knew that Buck was the missing half he’s been searching for his entire life.

The alarm started to ring on Buck’s bedside table.

“No,” Buck mumbled, somehow pulling Eddie closer to him even though they were already glued together.

Eddie smiled. He loved how clingy Buck was.

“C’mon, bud. Gotta get ready for our shift,” he said back quietly. He laced his hand with the one resting on his stomach before lifting it to his mouth and pressing a kiss to Buck’s knuckles.

“Five more minutes,” Buck mumbled again. “We deserve five more minutes of cuddling.”

“Buck, I’m pretty sure we’ve been cuddling all night long.”

“And it’s still not long enough.” Buck put his lips on the back of Eddie’s neck, leaving a gentle kiss. “Good morning, baby.”

Eddie’s cheeks turned hot. He was a sucker for the term of endearment.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said back. “Sleep okay?”

“Mmm, with you in my bed, I always sleep well.”

“Sap.”

“You love it.”

Eddie extracted himself from Buck’s hold and turned on the mattress, laying down so he was facing Buck now.

“I love you,” he murmured softly before cozying up into Buck’s space and kissing his mouth. “And your morning breath.”

“You freak,” Buck quipped when Eddie pulled back. “I love you too. I’m still not used to this.”

Eddie let out a breath through his nose. “That makes two of us.”

The corners of Buck’s mouth ticked up in a lazy, sleepy smile. The morning light filtering in through the curtains made him look soft, almost ethereal, with the way it glowed off of his blonde curls.

Buck pressed forward again to kiss Eddie. Eddie let him bully him down, so his back was flat against the mattress, Buck’s weight settling on top of him. Bracketed in by Buck’s thighs, Eddie was right where he wanted to be. They lazily made out for a few minutes before the alarm sounded again.

“Better not snooze it again, we’ll end up being late,” Eddie sighed. Buck dropped his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck, letting out a little whine.

“I love my job,” Buck started, “I really do, but I would give anything to have the next week off to just stay home and be with you.” He punctuated his sentence with another kiss.

Eddie scoffed. “As lovely as that sounds, you’d be out of your mind after the second day of nothing. Remember how much you hate ninety-sixes off?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Who needs that much time off anyway?”

Sharing one final kiss, Buck rolled off of Eddie and shut the alarm off. Eddie sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed, stretching his back as he went.

“Damn. This view,” Buck's voice came from behind him. Eddie turned and looked at him over his shoulder. Buck was openly staring at him, his eyes tracing lines up and down the length of his bare back.

Eddie felt his cheeks turn hot. That was the other thing he wasn’t quite used to yet. Buck openly checking him out and flirting with him. He was kind of obsessed with it.

“Knock it off, Buckley,” he warned without any actual warning in his tone.

Buck laughed, a loud, joyous noise that Eddie wanted to inject directly into his veins.

“You take first shower,” he said. “I’ll make sure Chris is awake and start making breakfast.”

Buck made his way out of the room and turned towards the guest room where Chris slept when they stayed over at his place.

Eddie padded into the bathroom and turned the shower on, waiting for the water to heat up before stepping under the stream.

After he was done in the shower, he joined Buck and Chris in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes and coffee mingled together, an intoxicating scent that made Eddie’s stomach growl.

“Ah, just in time!” Buck exclaimed as he finished plating the pancakes. “Coffee’s ready too.”

“Good morning, Christopher,” Eddie said to his son, who looked like he was barely awake. Chris grunted back. Eddie was used to that these days. Chris and his teenage moodiness.

He wandered over to the coffee pot and made both himself and Buck a cup of coffee before settling down at the dining table.

“Thanks, hon,” Buck said in his direction as he lifted his mug to his lips.

Eddie smiled back. “Thanks for breakfast,” Eddie replied, dousing his pancakes in syrup.

“Can you two flirt a little less in front of me?” Chris mumbled around a mouthful of pancakes. “It’s weird. And gross.”

“Thanking someone for something they did for you is not flirting,” Buck countered.

“Yeah, usually. But somehow, you guys manage to turn it into flirting anyway.”

Buck turned to look at Eddie, who just shook his head.

“Don’t argue with the teenager,” he said. “You’ll never win.”

Buck laughed and took another bite of his pancakes.

“Oh, hey,” Chris started after a couple moments of quiet passed. “Don’t forget to put in for time off next week, Buck.”

Buck grinned. “Already did, bud,” he said proudly. “As soon as you asked me if we could go, I requested the day off.”

“Awesome. I can’t wait.”

Eddie frowned. “Sorry, did I miss something here?”

Both Buck and Chris turned to him.

“The new Marvel Lego set drops next Friday, Dad. Buck said we could go get it.”

Eddie looked at Buck, who was smiling sheepishly at him.

“Oh, really? Buck did, did he? Don’t you have school that day?” Eddie asked, turning back to Chris.

“No, dad. It’s a workday for teachers, remember? No school.”

“Well, that’s convenient.”

“Eds, he made the honor roll. He’s earned it, don’t you think?” Buck reasoned.

Eddie couldn’t stop the overwhelming, all-consuming feeling of love that washed over him then. The fact that Buck loved his son just as much as he did made him want to drop to one knee and propose right then and there.

“Well, when you put it that way,” he conceded.

Buck turned back to Chris and held his knuckles up to him, both of them wearing matching grins.

“Told you he was easy,” Chris said as he giggled.

Eddie dropped his jaw in mock-offense.

“Wha—I am not easy!”

“Eds, please. One sappy smile and you fold like a cheap suit,” Buck laughed.

“Like a lawn chair,” Chris added.

“Okay, okay! I think that’s enough of picking on Eddie,” he interjected. “Finish your breakfast, we’ve gotta get going.”

They finished eating. Chris went back to finish getting ready for school while Buck took a quick shower and Eddie washed the dishes, putting them on the drying rack when he was done.

Before long, the three of them were out the door and on the road. Buck drove, his hand intertwined with Eddie’s over the gear shift. They dropped Chris off at school and then were on their way to the firehouse.

“Good morning, my beautiful family!” Buck exclaimed when they walked into the locker room. He threw his bag down on the bench before turning to his locker.

“Good morning, Buck,” Hen said back with a soft smile.

“Nobody should be this happy so early in the morning,” Chimney grumbled, stifling a yawn behind his fist. “Why the hell are you so happy this early in the morning?”

Eddie pulled his sweater over his head before dropping it into his locker and pulling on his uniform shirt.

“Well, I woke up in the arms of my very beautiful boyfriend and then we had a delightful breakfast with our precious son,” Buck mused. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

Our son. Jesus Christ. Eddie’s knees suddenly felt weak.

Chimney fake gagged. “Shouldn’t have asked,” he muttered.

Hen laughed. “Oh c’mon, Chim,” she remarked. “Let them be all sappy and in love. They're in the honeymoon phase.”

Eddie grinned as he shimmied out of his jeans and into his uniform pants, looping his belt through the loops.

“Yeah, Chim,” he tacked on. “Cut Buck some slack. We all remember when you and Maddie first started dating. You were waxing poetic about her all day, every day.”

Chimney held his hands up in a placating gesture.

“Okay, okay. Guilty,” he said. “However, I had no choice but to wax poetic about my incredible wife because she is so beautiful and funny and perfect. How could I not?”

Buck sat down on the bench to push his feet into his boots before lacing them up.

“Well, sweet brother-in-law of mine, I know how you feel. Because my Eddie is so beautiful and funny and perfect too.”

Eddie couldn’t stop the blush from creeping up his neck onto his face.

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard enough of this,” Ravi interjected. “You all are making me feel incredibly single right now.”

A collective laugh went around the locker room. They finished getting ready for the shift before making their way up to the loft. The scent of bacon frying on the stove wafted through the air.

“Morning, guys,” Bobby called out from his spot in the kitchen. “Breakfast in five.”

Hen scurried over to the coffee maker and started brewing a pot. Buck bounded into the kitchen to see if Bobby needed help with breakfast. Eddie, Chimney, and Ravi grabbed plates and silverware to set the table.

Before long, the six of them were all sitting at the table with a spread of bacon, toast, and eggs in front of them.

Bobby sipped his coffee. “Oh hey, before I forget. Athena wants to have a cookout next weekend,” he said before taking a bite of his toast. “Does Sunday work for everyone? We’re all off that day.”

Buck’s face lit up. “Yes! Eddie and I are both free. I can make lemon loaf,” he beamed.

“Same here, Bobby,” Hen agreed. “Karen and I can bring the pasta salad and the wine.”

“I cannot cook or bake, but I can bring refreshments for both adults and children,” Chimney added.

“I can bring myself?” Ravi grimaced. “Or something store bought, for the sake of all of your digestive systems.”

Another round of laughter went up.

“You don’t have to bring anything at all. Just yourselves. Athena and I have got the rest.”

Before they could finalize the plans, the tones rang out.

“Engine 118, Ladder 118. Structure fire at 834 West Alvarado. Multiple callers reporting visible flames. Unknown if there’s any occupants in the building.”

Without a word, everyone jumped up from the table, leaving their half-empty plates behind in favor of running down the steps and pulling their turnouts on.

They all piled into the engine. Buck sat across from Eddie, their knees pressed up against each other.

Pulling up to the scene, Eddie saw a two-story home almost completely engulfed in flames. Thick, black smoke was rolling out of the burning home, going up into the sky in plumes and spirals. The inside of the house was glowing orange, the flames slowly eating away at the structure and everything inside of it.

He jumped out of the engine and waited for Bobby to start giving out orders. He could feel Buck hovering nearby, restless energy rolling off of him.

“Buck, Eddie, search and rescue! Dispatch said that the callers weren’t sure if anyone was inside. Get in there and do a sweep. Stay together, I don’t want you two splitting up under any circumstances,” Bobby shouted over the roar of the flames. “Ravi, Chim, Rosen, get some water on those flames! Inch-and-three-quarter lines, let's go! Hen, I want you on stand-by for potential triage!”

Eddie pulled his mask down over his face before securing his helmet on top of his head. He turned towards Buck and lifted his arm, bumping their wrists together.

And then he was following Buck into the burning building.

The heat inside was immediately oppressive. Thick smoke hung low, making it nearly impossible to see three feet ahead of himself. The way the flames rolled along the walls in waves was mesmerizing in the worst kind of way.

They entered what was left of the living room. The remains of a couch sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by broken glass from a shattered picture window. Decorations on the wall, old photos and pieces of artwork were melting, hanging lopsided as the flames ate away at everything.

“LAFD! Call out!” Buck yelled. Eddie could barely hear him over the sound of the fire. “If you can hear my voice, call out!”

Searching the ground floor went quickly. Kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms. All clear, but completely engulfed in flames. There was no saving this house.

“Diaz to Captain Nash, ground floor all clear. Heading to the second floor now!” Eddie shouted into his radio.

“Copy you, Diaz. Structure’s beginning to become unstable, I want you and Buck out of there in five minutes or less!” Bobby shouted back.

“Copy!”

Eddie looked at Buck and nodded once. Buck nodded back and turned back towards the staircase, moving quickly as he ascended the steps.

The top floor of the house wasn’t completely engulfed yet, not like the ground floor was, but the smoke was thick, suffocating. The flames crawled up the banister of the steps, eating at the wallpaper on the walls. The entire building groaned under the weight of the fire.

At the top of the stairs, Buck darted left into the first bedroom.

“LAFD! Call out!” Buck bellowed.

“Fire department!” Eddie echoed.

Not hearing any response, Eddie led the way out of the room and moved down the hall towards the next room. A quick search of the room across the hall yielded nothing, as did the last bedroom.

“Buckley to Captain 118,” Buck shouted as he keyed his radio, “structure is all clear, I repeat, structure is all clear! No occupants inside. Diaz and Buckley, heading out now!”

“Copy, Buckley! See you on the outside!”

Ensuring that Buck was following closely behind him, Eddie led them back towards the staircase. Halfway down the hallway, the feeling of the floor underneath Eddie's boots changed. It was spongy, dipping under his weight, like he was sinking into the carpet.

“Watch your step, Buck!” Eddie shouted over his shoulder. He was a few steps behind him. “Floor’s starting to get weak!”

The entire structure creaked ominously.

It was the only warning Eddie got before everything went wrong.

A loud snap echoed throughout the structure. Eddie flinched violently, sure that the ceiling was beginning to collapse over them, and threw his arms up over his head to protect himself from any debris falling.

Except…nothing fell.

After another second or two, Eddie lowered his arms and looked up. The ceiling was still intact.

What the hell was that sound then?

Eddie didn’t want to stick around to find out.

“Buck, we gotta move!” He shouted, turning to look over his shoulder at him–

But he wasn’t there.

In the spot where Buck should have been, just a few steps behind Eddie, was a gaping, jagged hole. Flames licked the edge of it, smoke billowing up from the floor below.

“Buck!” Eddie screamed. “Buck!”

Keying his radio as he bolted for the stairs, Eddie felt a wave of panic wash over him.

“Mayday, mayday, mayday! Firefighter down, I repeat, firefighter down!”

Static crackled over the line for a second before Bobby’s voice came through.

“What happened? What’s your location?”

“Floor gave out, he–he fell. Buck fell,” Eddie stuttered, pounding down the steps and turning in Buck’s direction. “Ground floor hallway. Getting to him now.”

Buck came into view through the thick smoke. His helmet had been knocked off of his head and his mask was cracked, sitting crooked on his face. He was struggling to rise from the floor, clearly disoriented as he seemed to move in slow motion. His left arm was bent at an unnatural angle, hanging limply at his side.

“Buck!” Eddie yelled. He was only a few feet from him, now. His heart was in his throat. “Buck, can you hear me?!”

Buck looked up at him. Eddie could tell he was dizzy from the way he was moving. Even from a distance, he could see the glassy haze over Buck’s eyes.

Possible head injury, he thought as he ran to him, broken arm or shoulder.

Buck managed to push to his feet and took a step forward, swaying precariously.

“Stop, Buck! I’m coming to you!” Eddie shouted. “Don’t move!”

Buck took another step forward anyway, either not hearing Eddie or not comprehending what he said, and promptly lost his balance. He fell, tipping to the left, his shoulder colliding heavily with the fire-riddled wall. Eddie watched in horror as the flames made contact with Buck’s body, licking up at Buck’s face and neck where his skin was exposed.

The sound of Buck’s scream would haunt Eddie for a long, long time. He collapsed back down to the floor, his gloved right hand flying up to the burnt skin.

Finally, Eddie made it to him and dropped to his knees beside him.

“Buck, baby, I’m here,” he stammered out. He caught a glance of the angry looking burns on his skin. “Can–Buck, can you walk? We’ve gotta get you out of here.”

Buck, thankfully still conscious, was too dazed to answer. His face was contorted with pain. Blisters were already forming around the edges of the burns.

“Okay, let’s–okay, I’ve got you, bud,” Eddie said firmly, trying to control the panic he felt. His heart was in his throat, choking him with fear.

Before Eddie could do anything to get Buck moving, Bobby and Hen appeared through the wall of smoke.

“Eddie!” Bobby shouted. He was carrying a backboard. Eddie watched the look of horror cross his face when his eyes landed on Buck. It made him want to throw up. “Let’s get the backboard under him!”

Hen, Bobby, and Eddie made quick work of sliding the backboard under Buck before lifting him and moving him out of the burning home. Once Eddie made it back into clean air, he ripped his helmet and mask off, throwing them to the side, not caring where they landed.

“He–he fell,” he stuttered. “His–his helmet fell off, I think he hit his head.”

“Chim!” Bobby yelled. “Need you to drive!”

Chimney didn’t waste a second, dropping the hose he’d been holding and sprinting over.

They slid the backboard onto the waiting gurney before loading Buck into the back of the ambulance. Hen climbed in after him and immediately started working to stabilize Buck, gathering everything she needed to start an IV of fluids. Chimney climbed into the driver's seat of the rig.

“Cap–Bobby.” Eddie shakily turned towards the man. He felt like his knees were going to give out any minute now. “I’m going–I gotta go with him.”

Bobby nodded. “Go,” he urged. “Keep us updated. We’ll meet you at the hospital as soon as we can.”

Eddie crawled into the back of the rig, Bobby slamming the doors shut behind him. With a lurch, the ambulance started moving, the sirens wailing their mournful cry for Buck once again.

Eddie lowered himself down on the bench near Buck’s head. He wanted to reach out for his hand, but the closest one to him was attached to his broken arm, so he resisted.

“Buck, I’m right here, baby,” he mumbled instead, trying to speak without a tremor in his voice. He couldn’t help but stare at the angry burns across Buck’s face.

They were shiny, weeping a clear fluid that dripped slowly down his face to his neck, turning a sickly shade of pink where it mixed with blood at the edges of the marks. The unmarred skin around the edges of the burns looked tight, like the two separated edges were trying to reconnect. The burns were so intensely red, so vivid and raw, that the rest of Buck’s skin looked ghostly pale.

Tears sprang into Eddie’s eyes. God, it looked so painful.

“Ed…die,” Buck whispered, his voice barely coming out as a rasp. His eyes found Eddie’s. They were so unfocused, so disoriented. Glassy with confusion and pain.

“Yeah, Buck. Yeah, I’m here,” Eddie whispered back, feeling a single tear run from his eye.

“H-hurts,” he rasped back.

“I know, I know,” he stammered back. “We’re going to take good care of you, bud, okay? Hen’s going to get you something to take the pain away, she’s going to give you something to help.”

Buck’s eyes closed in a long, slow blink before opening again. He opened his mouth like he had something to say before closing it again.

“Eddie,” Hen’s sharp tone came from beside him. He turned to her. She thrust a bottle of room temperature sterile water into his hands. “Pour this, slowly, over the burns. We need to cool his skin as much as we can before cleaning it.”

With shaking hands, Eddie took the bottle from her, twisting the cap off before raising it over Buck’s face. He tipped the bottle just enough for a small trickle to run over Buck’s cheek.

The second the water hit the open wound, Buck let out a sharp cry. He tried to flinch away from it, but there was nowhere to go.

“S-stop,” he begged. “Pl-please. H-hurts.”

Eddie bit down on the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. He couldn’t let Buck’s crying get to him, not now.

“Ed-Eddie, please,” Buck continued to beg. “You’re-you’re hurting me.”

Eddie sniffled hard, trying to ignore the sound of his heart cracking in half.

“I have to, baby,” he choked out. “I have to do this. I know it hurts and I’m sorry, but I have to do this.”

Buck whimpered, clenching his eyes shut against the pain.

Eddie emptied two bottles of sterile water over Buck’s wounds while Hen worked to splint his arm. Once she was done with that, she took over providing care for the burns, dumping saline over the raw flesh to clean it.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Eddie whispered to him. Buck looked exhausted, just completely wrecked. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“Three minutes out!” Chim yelled from the front of the rig.

“You hear that? We’re so close, Buck,” Eddie continued to babble to him. “We’re so close.”

Hen finished dousing Buck’s burns with saline and promptly covered them with sterile non-adherent gauze, laying the white sheets gently over the angry skin on his face and neck, just as Chimney pulled into the ER entrance.

The back doors of the rig were ripped open. Chimney was there, grabbing onto the back of the gurney. Eddie scrambled into action, helping push it forward to get Buck into the hospital. The three of them rushed into the emergency room.

“Thirty-four year old male, sustained multiple injuries in a floor collapse. Third-degree burns to his face and neck, cooled and cleaned en route. Showing signs of concussion. Broken left arm,” Hen relayed to the team of medical staff that swarmed the gurney. “Patient has a history of blood clots and an allergy to naproxen.”

“Let's get him up to the burn unit!” One of the doctors shouted.

“He’ll need a head CT to rule out any fractures or bleeding!” Another shouted.

They rounded a corner and then Buck was gone.

____________________

Buck wasn’t quite sure how he ended up here, but he knew he wanted to leave.

As he peeled his eyes open, he quickly recognized that he was in a hospital room. The sights and sounds had become all too familiar.

The first thing he registered is that it was way too bright. Overhead fluorescent lights shined above him, harsh and unforgiving. He closed his eyes again, feeling like there was a knife being driven directly into his brain.

“Too bright,” he tried to say, but his voice came out as a choked rasp. It felt like someone had taken sandpaper directly to his throat and then coated it in cotton.

“H-hey, you’re awake,” a voice came from beside him. “I’ll turn the lights down and get you some water.”

Buck tried to turn toward the voice. A sharp, stinging pain radiated up from his neck to his cheek that quickly turned into a pulsating ache.

He froze, a sharp gasp rushing out of his mouth. He tried to raise his hand up to where the pain was, but his hand felt heavy, like it was trapped in something.

“Hey, easy, baby,” the voice came again. “You’re okay. Here, drink.”

Buck opened his eyes again, just barely, but enough to see the straw in front of his mouth. He closed his lips around it and took a few swigs, getting rid of the cottony feeling in his mouth.

“Th-thanks,” Buck muttered after dropping his head back onto the pillow. The room was dim now, only a small table lamp casting an amber glow across the room.

“Of course. How’re you feeling?” The voice sounded again.

Finally, Buck realized who the voice was coming from.

“Eddie,” he mumbled. He flicked his eyes over to where his voice had been coming from, not wanting the sharp sting of pain when he moved his head again.

Eddie leaned over him, a soft but worried smile on his face.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m here. Ev-everyone’s here. How’re you feeling?”

Buck tried to take stock of his body. His brain felt like it’d been scrambled in a blender, his left arm was encased in something, and the entire left side of his face and neck ached with that burning, stinging pain. In other words, he felt like hot garbage that had been left outside in the hot California sun for too many days.

“F-fine,” he lied. Even with mush for brains, he didn’t want Eddie to worry about him.

“Please don’t lie,” Eddie spoke casually. “I know when you’re pretending because you don’t want to worry me.”

Buck felt a little, barely-there smile cross his face.

“Okay, s-sorry,” he mumbled.

As Buck watched Eddie, he noticed him staring at the left side of his face for just a second too long before he flicked his eyes back up to Buck’s.

“Do you…do you remember what happened?”

Buck tried to recall the last thing he had a memory of.

Breakfast at the station.

The tones going off.

A structure fire, a two-story family home.

Buck and Eddie on search and rescue.

And then…

Nothing.

Obviously something bad had happened if he’s lying in a hospital bed.

“I don’t–I don’t remember?”

Eddie set his hand on Buck’s knee over the blankets, stroking his thumb back and forth.

“It was a floor collapse. You fell through,” he said gently. “Broke your arm and hit your head pretty hard. Concussion.”

A flash of memory hit him then. The throb behind his eyes intensified as he recalled the feeling of falling through the burning floor and his head slamming into the floor. He remembered the pain of his arm shattering when he hit the floor under him.

But he couldn’t remember what caused the deep, stinging ache he felt on the side of his face and neck.

“What…about my face?” He whispered. “It hurts. A lot.”

Buck caught Eddie’s eyes flickering over his face again, like before.

“You, uh. You were pretty disoriented at the scene,” Eddie started. “You were trying to stand on your own and you…lost your balance and fell into a burning wall. Right into the flames.”

Buck frowned. “I–got burned? There’s burns on my face?”

“And your neck,” Eddie confirmed. “Third-degree.”

Buck didn’t say anything for a long moment, giving himself a second to process what Eddie just said.

“But, I had my-my gear on,” he protested.

“Your helmet had fallen off when you hit the ground. Parts of your skin were exposed to the heat and flames.”

Buck felt a shudder run down the length of his spine. In all of his years as a firefighter, he’d never experienced worse than a surface burn. One that’ll heal quickly and leave nothing behind.

But this…third-degree burns. Those don’t just go away with time. Third-degree burns leave scars. Permanently change the way a person looks.

“Is it…” he trailed off, giving himself a moment to work up the courage and ask. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

Eddie hesitated, just half a second too long, and that was answer enough for Buck. His stomach swooped suddenly, bile rising in his throat. He didn’t want to know. Not yet. He didn’t want Eddie to tell him how bad it was.

Eddie opened his mouth to answer Buck, but Buck beat him to it.

“Actually, can–can we talk later? I just. I’m really tired,” he mumbled. He tried to force a smile, but his skin pulled tight and he just didn’t have the energy to even fake it.

“Oh. Yeah,” Eddie said back. “I’ll go check in with everyone, let them know you’re awake.”

He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to Buck’s unburned side.

“I love you,” he murmured.

Buck felt like he was going to cry.

“Love you too,” Buck whispered back.

He held his tears back until after Eddie exited the room.

He wondered how long it would take.

____________________

“Can I skip school today?” Chris asked.

Eddie looked up from his cup of coffee and frowned.

“Uh, no? Don’t you have a math exam?”

Chris shrugged, but cast his eyes down to his plate of breakfast.

“I wanna go see Buck,” he mumbled.

Something in Eddie’s chest pulled tight.

Yesterday, after Buck was admitted to the hospital, Eddie had called Karen to ask if she could pick Chris up from school. After Buck finally crashed for the night and Eddie was able to pick him up from the Wilsons’ house, he sat Chris in the living room and explained to him what had happened. He’d taken the news well, he was just worried about him.

“Buddy. I can’t let you skip school, but I was going to ask you if you wanted to swing by the hospital after school to see him.”

Chris huffed, obviously annoyed, but after another moment of silence, he nodded.

“Yeah, okay,” he conceded. “Can we take dinner to him?”

Eddie smiled at his son. “Of course we can.” He lifted his coffee mug and took another swig before shoveling another bite of eggs into his mouth.

“He’s—he’ll be okay, right?” Chris’ voice came out timid, almost nervous.

Eddie lowered his mug back down to the table.

“Hey, yeah. Chris, he’s going to be okay,” Eddie reassured him. “It’s a few burns and a mild concussion and a broken arm, but he’s faced worse before, right?”

“The lightning,” Chris interjected.

“Exactly. I mean, Buck survived an entire ladder truck crushing his leg.” Eddie reached his hand over and rested it over Chris’s wrist. “He’s going to be just fine, buddy.”

Chris nodded. “He’d probably feel better if he had a milkshake from that burger joint on Wilshire.”

Eddie laughed. “You think so?” Chris nodded again. “Alright, we’ll grab that for dinner tonight, then.”

A short while later, Chris was dropped off at school. Eddie swung by Buck’s favorite cafe to grab him coffee and breakfast. He walked into the hospital, coffee and paper bag in hand, and took the elevator up to the necessary floor, his excitement at seeing Buck steadily building the closer he got to his room.

“Good morning,” he said to the nurse charting at the desk as he walked by the nurses station.

She smiled back politely. “Good morning, Mr. Diaz!”

Eddie continued towards Buck’s room, reaching for the door handle, when the nurse from the desk called out.

“Oh! Mr. Diaz!”

Eddie paused, his hand raised awkwardly in the air, and turned to look at her.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I just remembered the second you walked through,” she started, pausing a few feet from him. “Mr. Buckley is currently getting his wound dressings changed. He requested that only medical staff be present during any dressing changes.”

What?

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, what?”

The nurse, whose badge says Becca, smiled sympathetically at him.

“He doesn’t want anyone else—”

“No no, I heard you,” Eddie cut her off. “Did—did he say why?”

Eddie had seen everything. He'd helped Buck while he was recovering through so many different injuries. He’d helped Buck shower and get dressed. He’d supported him through panic attacks and his moments of anger after an injury. And he’d definitely helped change wound dressings before. And this was all before they started dating.

So…why is it different now? Is it because they’re dating now? Maybe Buck doesn’t want him seeing the extent of the burns he sustained? That could be. Buck was always more worried about everyone else than himself. Perhaps he thought that seeing his raw, burnt skin again would trigger something in Eddie.

“No, he didn’t give any specific reason why,” Becca said.

Eddie let out a slow exhale. “Look, I’m–he’s my boyfriend. Is there any way I can just–”

Becca held up a hand and cut him off. “I’m sorry, Mr. Diaz, but we have to respect the patient's request. I’m sure he’d be willing to talk about it if you ask him.”

Nodding slowly, Eddie said, “Right. Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

“It shouldn’t be too much longer,” she responded. “As soon as they’re finished, you’re welcome to go in.” And with that, Becca retreated back to the nurses station.

Eddie stood in the hallway across from the room, staring at the unopening door and willing it to open. It’d been a long twelve hours since he’d seen Buck, which was eleven hours and fifty-nine minutes longer than he liked to go without seeing the man he loved.

Eventually, the door popped open and two nurses stepped out of the room.

“Oh, good morning, Mr. Diaz,” the young man said to him.

Forcing a polite smile, Eddie stepped forward. “Please, call me Eddie.”

The other nurse, an older woman, continued on without saying a word to him. Eddie didn’t mind. Quite honestly, he’d probably do the same thing if roles were reversed.

“Well, Eddie.” He chanced a quick glance at the nurse's name badge. Blake. “He’s wide awake this morning. Doesn’t seem to be experiencing any confusion from the concussion, but he was complaining a little bit of a headache. Not unusual.”

Looking beyond Blake into the room, Eddie could only see the foot of the bed. He was starting to get desperate, wanting to get eyes on Buck sooner rather than later.

“Thanks, man,” Eddie muttered to Blake.

“Let me know if either of you need anything,” he offered before finally walking away towards the nurses station.

Eddie bolted forward, crossing the threshold into the room.

“Hey, baby,” he said softly, feeling his heart grow by three sizes like he was the damn Grinch. “I missed you.”

Buck was propped up in the bed, a few pillows stuffed behind his back. His curls were matted down on the right side, like he’d slept on that side all night. The fresh bandages covering the left side of his face and neck were stark white. His eyes were red-rimmed and when Eddie looked closely, he could see faint tear tracks on his cheeks.

Walking over to the bedside, Eddie dropped the coffee and food on the table tray. He dropped onto the bed, gathering up his uncasted hand in his own.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, lifting his hand and pressing a gentle kiss to Buck’s knuckles.

Buck sniffled. He shut his eyes for a long moment, like he needed to brace himself for talking, before opening them again and looking at Eddie.

“I’m okay,” he nearly whispered. “Just hurting a little bit.”

Eddie felt his heart crack in two.

“Is it the burns?” He questioned. “I can ask your nurses for some pain meds, bud.”

“Y-yeah, the burns. Blake already gave me something for pain. I’m just waiting for it to kick in.”

Eddie could see exhaustion in Buck’s face. His eyes looked heavy, purple half-moons settled underneath them. The usual light that kept his eyes bright blue and shining had dulled into a stormy shade of the color.

“Did you not sleep last night?” Eddie asked. “You pretty much crashed before I even left for the night.”

Buck shook his head. Eddie saw the way he winced when he moved his neck.

“I woke up sometime through the night. Not sure when, I think it was around two or so. I couldn’t get comfortable after that. And the night shift nurses kept coming in to check on me and run me through concussion protocol.”

Eddie’s heart ached at the sight in front of him. Buck just looked so tired and so sad. He wished he could trade places with him.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie murmured, stroking his thumb across Buck’s knuckles. “I wish there was something more I could do.”

For the first time that morning, the corners of Buck’s mouth ticked upwards.

“Just being here is more than enough,” he whispered. “Now, where is my good morning kiss?”

Eddie snorted and obliged. He leaned forward and planted his mouth on Buck’s, careful to avoid the burn that just narrowly missed the corner of his lips.

“Much better,” Buck relayed once Eddie separated from him.

“I second that,” Eddie agreed. He turned his attention back to the tray table and picked up the bag of breakfast. “Hungry? I got your favorite.”

Buck groaned with delight. “Chorizo, egg, and cheese on a toasted everything bagel?”

Eddie nodded. “And a white chocolate mocha with two pumps of raspberry.” He unwrapped the bagel for Buck and slid the table over the bed. “Bon appetit.”

Buck picked up half of the bagel and lifted it to his mouth, going to take a bite, but flinched when he started to part his lips. He nearly dropped the bagel back onto the table.

“Buck?” Eddie questioned. “You okay?”

Blinking rapidly, as if to stop any tears from forming, Buck nodded.

“Y-yeah. Just–my skin feels…tight,” he muttered. “When I open my mouth too far, it kind of pulls. Just stings a little bit. Took me by surprise, that's all.”

Eddie wasn’t sure he really believed him, but for the sake of Buck, he let it go.

Eventually, Buck was able to take a few bites of the bagel. He slowly sipped the latte, the tension in his body seeping away as the pain medication finally coursed through him. He looked relaxed and sleepy, barely able to keep his eyes open now that the medication had caught up to him.

It was then that Eddie remembered.

“Oh, hey,” he started. “Why did you request that only medical staff be present for bandage changes?”

Buck blinked slowly at him, like his brain was lagging a second behind and the words hadn’t quite caught up to him yet.

“Didn’t want you to see,” he mumbled, his words slurring together a little bit. He was fading fast, heading towards a mid-morning nap.

Eddie took his answer into consideration. He knew, from his many years on the job, how gnarly a second, third, or fourth degree burn could look.

“Buck, you don’t need to protect me from seeing them,” he said back to him. He squeezed Buck’s hand. “I can handle it.”

For just a fleeting second, Buck’s eyes darted up to his with full clarity. No haze from the painkillers.

“No. You can’t,” he said firmly. And then his eyes turned glassy again, the fog clouding over the bright blue once again. Another moment later, he was gone. Slipped into slumber, his lips parted slightly as his breathing turned into an even cadence.

Eddie wasn’t sure. Not completely, but the way Buck said ‘you can’t see’ didn’t really sound like he was protecting Eddie from seeing a gruesome sight on the man he loves.

The way Buck had sounded when he said that seemed like he was almost…embarrassed by what had happened. Ashamed of the marks on his face. Like maybe he thought Eddie was going to look at him differently if he saw the open wounds.

***

Throughout the day, various visitors had come through to check on him.

Maddie stopped by around lunchtime with Jee and Nash in tow. Buck lit up at the sight of his little niece and nephew, especially when Jee handed him a drawing she’d made of her favorite teddy bears.

Shortly after that, Bobby and Athena both popped in for a quick visit. Both of them were on shift, having just come from the same call and dropping patients off in the ER, so they couldn’t stay long, but they promised to stop over sometime within the week to have dinner.

After they said their goodbyes, Eddie had to go pick up Christopher from school and on their way back, they stopped at the burger joint they’d talked about earlier and grabbed dinner for the three of them. Three burgers, three orders of fries, and two milkshakes. One for Buck and one for Chris.

“You sure you don’t want one?” Chris double-checked before Eddie pulled out into traffic.

“Am I sure I don’t want to drink five-hundred calories worth of sugar? Yeah, bud. I’m good. I don’t need to get any cavities,” he said back to his son as he switched lanes.

“Oh, so it’s okay if Buck and I get cavities, but not you?” Chris took a long slurp of the chocolate drink. “Sure. I see how it is.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yup. That’s me, only thinking of myself, like always.”

“Hey, you said it, not me.” Chris let out a bright giggle that added three extra years to Eddie’s life.

Twenty minutes later, the two of them were strolling into Buck’s room. The man himself was lying flat in the bed, his face turned away from the door.

“Hey, Buck!” Chris exclaimed when he got sight of him. Buck turned his head at the noise, giving Chris his first glimpse at the white bandages covering the left side of his face and down his neck. “Oh, whoa.”

Buck’s face turned bright red. He quickly averted his gaze and ducked his head, as if he was trying to hide.

“Uh, yeah. H-hey, Chris. How–how are you?” Buck’s voice shook ever so slightly.

“I’m good, Buck. I missed you,” Chris said back, climbing into the chair beside the bed. “Does it–does it hurt a lot?”

Eddie set the bag of burgers on the table and sat in the other chair, laying Chris’ crutches on the floor at the end of the bed. He watched the two of them, darting his eyes between his boys, a warm feeling of contentment growing in his chest.

Buck cleared his throat, barely lifting his face up to look at Chris.

“Uh, it. It hurts, yeah, but just a little,” he responded to Chris. Eddie knew he was downplaying so he wouldn’t scare him. “It’ll–it’ll heal.” His voice broke a little when he said the word, almost like he didn’t believe that he would actually heal over time.

“Well,” Chris continued like nothing was wrong, “we got you a milkshake. Cookies and cream with extra whipped cream.”

Buck finally, for the first time since Chris walked into the room, turned his head and fully looked at him. His eyes looked suspiciously glassy.

“You did?”

Chris nodded, beaming at Buck. “Yup! From that spot on Wilshire we like!”

“And you got my favorite,” Buck stammered out. “Thank you, Chris. That was very sweet.”

“I know that ice cream makes me feel better, so I figured it’d probably make you feel better too.” Chris punctuated his sentence with a sip of his own drink.

Buck chuckled. “Very good way of thinking, buddy. You’re so smart.”

“Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing. Also, I’m pretty sure I aced my algebra exam, so that just doubles down on the fact that I’m basically a genius.”

Buck let out a bright laugh this time. It warmed Eddie’s heart to hear a genuine laugh erupt from his boyfriend, making a smile grow on his face.

“We also brought sustenance. We didn’t just bring sugar,” he interjected, pointing to the food on the table. “Burgers and fries. No hospital food for you tonight.”

“My knights in shining armor,” Buck quipped. He shot a soft smile in Eddie’s direction. “Thank you. Both of you.”

The rest of the night passed quickly. A few times they were interrupted by medical staff doing their rounds. They took Buck’s vitals, asked him about his pain level, and if he was experiencing any confusion.

Around seven-thirty, right as Eddie was getting ready to pack up and get Christopher home for the night, a knock on the door sounded.

“Gentlemen, good evening,” the doctor said as he stepped inside the room. His name, Doctor Marks, was stitched into his white coat. “How’s the patient?”

Buck forced a polite smile. “Uh, yeah. I’m okay.”

Doctor Marks looked up from the charts in his hands. “Having any pain? Dizziness, confusion, memory gaps?”

“Uh, no. Not dizzy, no confusion. No memory problems. Just a little headache, but besides that fine. The–the burns hurt a little, but compared to earlier, it’s not so bad.”

“Fantastic. Well, Mr. Buckley, we’re going to keep you one more night for observation, but barring any changes overnight, you’re ready to be discharged. I’ll have one of the nurses begin the paperwork, and by tomorrow morning, we can get you out of here and back in your own home.”

“Oh, good. I like the sound of that,” Buck said softly.

Eddie grinned at Buck. “Me too.”

“One more thing. I’m sure this comes as no surprise, but you’ll need to be off of work or on light duty until the cast comes off, which will be roughly four to six weeks,” Doctor Marks said casually. He finished writing notes in Buck’s chart before clicking his pen and putting it back into his coat pocket.

Eddie expected Buck to balk at the doctor's orders. He was so dedicated, so passionate about his work. He thrived on helping people, running into burning buildings to save lives. Even injured and knowing better, he always gave the medical professionals a hard time about having to be off of work to heal.

But, this time, he didn’t argue. He didn’t try to change Doctor Marks’ orders. Eddie didn’t even see him roll his eyes in protest.

Instead, he simply nodded once and said, “Yeah. I expected as much. Thanks, Doc.”

With a quick wave, Doctor Marks put the file folder with Buck’s chart back into the little holder on the foot of the bed and exited the room to continue onto the next one.

Eddie furrowed his brow, shooting Buck an inquisitive look, but didn’t say anything. Maybe Buck was a little more shook up by this accident. Maybe falling directly into a fire unsettled him more than any other work-related accident he’d had. He couldn’t be sure.

“Cool!” Chris suddenly exclaimed, breaking Eddie’s train of thought. “You’ll be home in time for the new Lego set launch!”

Eddie watched all of the color drain out of Buck’s face. His entire expression pulled tight, panic washing over him before he schooled it into something a little more even.

“Uh, yeah. I–I guess I will be,” he stuttered out.

“I was worried. I know this probably sounds selfish, but I’ve been so excited to go with you. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to anymore.”

There were suddenly tears in Buck’s eyes.

“I’m ex-excited too, buddy.”

Chris stood up from his chair, accepting his crutches from Eddie’s outstretched hand.

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” the boy said. Giving Buck a quick hug, he turned towards the door.

“Y-yeah. See you tomorrow,” Buck whispered, his voice barely audible.

Eddie looked at his son’s retreating frame over his shoulder before stealing another glance at Buck, who seemed to be getting more emotional the further away Chris got.

“Hey, Chris?” He called. Chris turned to look at him. “Wait for me in the hallway, okay? I’ll be right there.”

“Yup, I will. I don’t want to see you kiss each other anyway,” he replied sarcastically before opening the door and stepping through it. It clicked shut behind him.

Buck let out a ragged breath, lifting his uncasted hand to wipe his eyes.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Eddie asked, settling himself on the bed beside Buck’s hip. He laced his fingers with Buck’s.

Buck took a sharp inhale. “No, no-nothing. Just.” He cut himself off, pausing to catch his breath for a second. “I think I’m just tired. It’s catching up to me. I think.”

Eddie shook his head. “No, it seems like something Chris said made you upset. Not just exhaustion.”

Buck forced a little chuckle, but Eddie saw right through it. “Nothing that kid says could ever upset me, Eds. You know that. I’m just tired. Ready to go home and hide out in bed for a little while.”

“Baby, you can talk to me,” Eddie urged. He dipped his head to catch Buck’s eyes. They were nearly neon behind his tears. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that.”

“I—I know.” Buck sniffled, blinking his eyes hard. “I’m alright, hon. Seriously. You should go. You should take Chris home. He—he has school in the morning.”

Eddie flinched back slightly, surprised at Buck’s dismissal. “I don’t want to leave you like this,” he argued. “I don’t want to leave you when you’re crying.”

“Eddie, it’s okay. The sooner you leave, the sooner I can get to sleep. I’ll be okay.” Buck smiled, but Eddie could tell it wasn’t real when it didn’t reach his eyes. “Drive safe. Let me know when you make it home, please.”

Eddie felt helpless. He didn’t know what to say. What to do. Buck looked so upset, but Eddie didn’t know how to fix it.

He squeezed Buck’s hand. “Yeah. I will. Get some rest.” He leaned forward. “Can I kiss you goodnight?”

Buck smiled through his tears. “Please do.”

Eddie leaned forward even further, pushing in close to Buck, before pressing their lips together. He tried to put as much love as he possibly could into it, hoping that Buck could feel every single ounce he had for him.

“Sleep well,” he whispered against Buck’s lips before pulling back and standing up. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

Buck smiled softly at him. “Yeah. See you in the morning. Love you.”

“I love you too. Goodnight.” Eddie ripped his eyes away from Buck, turning to walk out of the room. He pulled the door shut gently behind him and looked at Chris. “Ready?”

Chris nodded, already heading towards the elevator.

“Is Buck going to stay with us when he leaves tomorrow?” He asked.

Eddie shrugged noncommittally. “I mean, we didn’t talk about it, but I assumed he would. At least until he’s better and can go back to his place.”

“He should just move in with us,” Chris said casually.

They rode the elevator down and walked outside, crossing the parking lot towards the truck. The night had turned a little chilly, the wind kicking up a little bit. Eddie shivered.

“I don’t know, Chris,” he finally responded. “As much as I’d love that, it seems like it’d be a little soon, don’t you think? I mean, we only started dating a week ago.”

Chris scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Please, dad. You guys have practically been dating since we met Buck. The only difference now is you both admit you love each other.”

Eddie took that into consideration as he opened the passenger door for Chris and slid his crutches in beside him.

“I don’t really think that’s true, Christopher,” he said before slamming the door shut and rounding the front of the truck, climbing into the driver's seat.

“Dad. Buck has been to my parent-teacher conferences with you. He’s chaperoned my field trips when you had a shift. He’s taken me to doctor appointments. He’s your medical proxy, for crying out loud and has been for years already. That’s very much a significant other thing.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped. “How do you even know that?”

“C’mon. I know things. I see things. I hear things. You and Buck talk very loud. My point is, Buck has been a part of our lives for so long. Him moving in now wouldn’t be too soon for either of us.”

Eddie didn’t say anything for a long moment, letting Christopher’s words sink into his mind. He had to admit, his son made a good point.

Turning the key in the ignition, the truck roared to life. Eddie put it into drive and headed towards the parking lot exit.

“How did you get to be so smart?” He finally said, turning his lips up in a half-smile.

“Mom,” Chris quipped back, smirking at Eddie.

“You’d really be okay with Buck moving in?”

“I’m the one who suggested it, wasn’t I?”

Eddie snorted. “Yeah. I guess you were. Okay,” he resolved, “Once Buck is on the mend and healed, I’ll ask him if he wants to move in with us.”

***

“Ready to spring out of here?” Eddie asked Buck, a huge grin on his face as he walked into the hospital room. “I already signed all the paperwork and got your prescriptions sent to the pharmacy, so all that’s left is getting you home.”

Buck heaved a sigh. “More than. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed.”

“Oh, about that.” Eddie dropped Buck’s duffel bag on the bed before flopping himself in a chair. “I figured you’d come stay with Chris and me while you’re recovering. We can keep an eye on you and help you change your dressings and what not.”

“Oh, uh. That’s–you’ve done so much for me already, Eds. You don’t have to take me in. I’ll be okay at my place.”

Eddie waved him off. “Please, Buck. I’d feel better knowing we were under the same roof. Plus, Chris already has big plans for you guys. Movie marathons, gaming nights. He even mentioned wanting to cook dinner together a few times, once you start feeling better.”

The corners of Buck’s lips turned up. “He wants to be my sous chef?”

“He told me it’d be better if he was the one helping in the kitchen, instead of me. Said something about me being ‘a disaster anywhere food is involved’. Apparently.”

Buck snorted. “Well, we all remember that time you tried to make brownies for Chris’ bake sale. You had to throw the pan away. It was unsalvageable.”

Eddie held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. I will simply be your taste tester and nothing more.” He pointed to the duffel bag. “Need help changing?”

It was like a flip was switched. Buck seemed to clam up right in front of him. His shoulders hunched downward in a way that made him look small. He dropped his eyes from Eddie’s and instead turned to the duffel bag, grabbing the strap and pulling it onto his shoulder.

He stood slowly and started toward the bathroom. “Uh, no. I’m good. Be–I’ll be right out.” He scurried through the door and shut it behind him.

Eddie blinked, surprised at the sudden change in mood. He was also kind of surprised that Buck felt the need to change behind a closed door. It’s not like they’d never seen each other in various states of undress. Between the locker room at the station, the multiple times they’d both been injured and needed help with showering and basic hygiene, and now their new relationship, it wasn’t anything Eddie hadn’t seen before.

But he didn’t let himself think about it too much. Not yet anyway. He didn’t want to spiral before necessary, but he sort of felt like Buck had been pulling away since he was admitted to the hospital a couple of days ago. He’d brushed off all of Eddie’s attempts to talk, requested that nobody, not even him, be in the room when medical staff was in the room, and now this.

Buck was in a vulnerable state, at the moment. He was injured and tired and probably just upset about having to be on medical leave for the next month.

Eddie’s thoughts were interrupted by the bathroom door opening again. Buck stepped out, dressed in a light gray hoodie and black sweats. He looked so incredibly soft that Eddie wanted nothing more than to get him home, crawl into bed, and take a nap together.

“You ready?” He asked, standing up, reaching for the duffel. He took it from Buck’s hand and slung it over his shoulder after putting the discharge paperwork inside.

“Yup,” Buck said, pulling the hood up over his matted curls. The bandages on his face almost disappeared completely with the hood up. “Let’s get out of here.”

***

The first night home went well enough.

It had felt like any other night in the Diaz home.

Buck and Eddie had napped together until it was time to go pick Chris up from school. Upon getting home, Chris had put on a documentary that both him and Buck had been wanting to see while he did his homework at the coffee table and Eddie slouched on the couch with his arms around Buck. They’d had pizza delivered for dinner and then ended the night with a Mario Kart tournament.

It was the following morning that Eddie felt like everything was beginning to go wrong.

Buck was still sleeping when Eddie got up to make sure Chris was awake. He made a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast before taking Chris to school.

When he got back home, Buck was awake, but still lying in bed, scrolling on his phone.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be limiting screen time,” he chastised gently. “You still have a concussion.” He sat down on the mattress by Buck, lifting his hand to brush the curls back off of his forehead.

Buck locked his phone, lowering it down to his chest, and sighed.

“Yeah, I know. I was just thinking I should get up and shower. Change my bandages.”

“Okay. I can help you wrap your arm,” Eddie offered, “and with the dressings after.”

Buck pushed Eddie’s hand away and sat up. “No, that’s okay. I can handle it.”

“I know you can, Buck. But that’s why I’m here. So I can help.”

Buck pushed up from the bed and gathered clean clothes. “I can take care of myself.” His voice sounded rough, bordering on annoyed.

“But you don’t have too. I want to help, baby. Let me help,” Eddie pleaded.

“Stop!” Buck snapped. He stood in front of the dresser, his back to Eddie. “I said no. I don’t want your help with this. Just drop it.”

Eddie stared at him, shocked at Buck’s sudden display of anger. Buck, who was always gentle and always soft spoken. Buck, who had never raised his voice at Eddie before.

“Buck, I just. I want to make sure the burns look okay. That–that they’re healing,” Eddie said softly, suddenly unsure of himself.

“I know what I’m doing, Eddie. I know I’m not a medic like you, but I know what a healing burn should look like.” Without another word, Buck stalked off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Eddie stayed frozen on the bed. He heard the shower turn on and wondered how Buck was going to wrap his cast by himself.

He kind of felt lost, if he was being honest. Buck had never really given him a hard time before when he’d needed extra help. When his leg had been crushed, he’d helped him shower on more than one occasion, just like Buck had helped him after he’d been shot. Buck had been the one to change his wound dressings.

He thought back to just yesterday when the nurse Becca told him that Buck requested privacy for dressing changes. And now this, Buck refusing his help at home.

He wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

Eventually, he gathered his senses as best he could and made his way out to the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee and popped some bread in the toaster, sitting at the table while he waited. When everything was ready, he poured himself a mug and spread strawberry jam on his toast. He ate slowly, sitting in the silence that surrounded him while his thoughts ran a little wild in his mind.

“Hey, I’m—I’m sorry.” Buck's voice suddenly came from behind him. His voice shook just slightly when he spoke.

Eddie looked over his shoulder at him, immediately softening at the sight of the man he loved. His hair was still damp. From where he sat, he could smell the coconut curl cream he used. Fresh bandages covered the left side of his face and neck.

Buck sat down across from Eddie, keeping his gaze on the surface of the table.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he continued, voice barely above a whisper. “You were trying to help. I know that. And I’m sorry.”

Eddie dropped the piece of toast back on the plate and pushed it away.

“It’s okay,” he said. He wanted to ask why he did. He knew he should, but Buck looked so miserable sitting there, like he was genuinely close to tears because of what he did, that he just let it go. He could forgive Buck. Of course he could. He always would. “How’re they looking?”

Buck finally looked up at him. “Uh, good. Yeah. They’re starting to heal already.”

“You put the topical antibiotic on them? Took your pain pill?”

Buck nodded. “Yes and yes.”

Eddie smiled softly at him. “Okay. Want a cup of coffee?”

“I do, but I can get my own cup, Eds.”

“Let me do this one thing for you, please.” Eddie stood up and started towards the coffee maker. When he passed by Buck, he paused and leaned down to press a kiss to his temple. “I love you.”

Buck smiled, turning his face towards Eddie. He pursed his lips and pushed his chin up. Eddie took the hint and met him halfway. They shared a quick peck.

“I love you too,” Buck whispered when they broke apart.

The rest of the day passed by normally, like the morning argument hadn’t even happened, but Eddie still couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a chasm beginning to open between them.

***

A week went by.

Eddie went back to work.

Bobby and Athena brought dinner over once and stayed long enough to go through three bottles of wine.

Maddie brought the kids over and spent a couple afternoons with Buck while Eddie worked.

And Buck still refused to let Eddie help with anything.

That was okay, though. Eddie could deal with that, even if it made him feel completely useless. He could set aside his own need to be a caretaker in favor of Buck’s need to take care of himself.

He was just getting home from a shift, a long, merciless twenty-four hours on. It’d been raining all day, a steady downfall that slicked the roadways and led to several accidents.

Walking into the house, Eddie was met with the scent of pancakes and bacon. He could hear Buck and Chris talking softly in the kitchen. A wave of warmth washed over him at the thought of the two of them together.

“Good morning,” Eddie said as he stepped into the kitchen. He took in the sight of Chris sitting at the table, finishing up some last minute homework. Buck stood in front of the stove, his back to Eddie.

He stopped to press a kiss to the top of Chris’ head, not even caring about the eye roll he got in return, before sidling up behind Buck and wrapping his arms around his waist. He hooked his chin over Buck’s shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his neck.

“Good morning, baby,” he whispered.

“Morning, Eds,” Buck spoke back softly. “How was your shift?”

“Busy. You know how it is when it rains. People forget how to drive.”

Buck snorted. “No kidding. Well, I hope you at least worked up an appetite because Chris convinced me we needed pancakes and cinnamon rolls.”

Eddie released Buck from his hold and spun around to look at his son, leaning his back against the counter. He raised his eyebrows. “Pancakes and cinnamon rolls? What’re we going for, a sugar crash by noon?”

Chris giggled. “Wait until he hears that the pancakes have chocolate chips in them.”

Buck offered to take Chris to school that morning, so Eddie hopped in the shower while he was gone. He was just finishing up getting dressed when Buck got back, walking into the bedroom to start gathering clean clothes of his own.

“Save any hot water for me?” He joked, shooting a small grin at Eddie.

“Nope. Used it all. You’re going to have to take a cold one,” he quipped back.

“Ha ha,” Buck deadpanned. “I’ll be out in a few minutes. Nap together when I’m done?”

“You read my mind,” he said back.

Buck smiled and left the room to go shower.

Eddie settled on his side of the bed, the blankets pulled up to his shoulders. The sound of the shower running down the hall was a soothing white noise that started lulling him to sleep.

Buck reentered the room with fresh clothes and fresh bandages. He crawled into the bed, snuggling up close to Eddie.

“Mm,” he murmured into the crook of Eddie’s neck. “You smell good.”

Eddie hummed. “I used your soap, I missed you. How’re your burns looking?”

Buck flinched, barely, but Eddie still felt it. He withdrew his face from Eddie’s neck and rolled his head back onto his own pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

“Better. Starting to scar around the edges a little bit,” he mumbled.

Eddie turned his head to look at him. “So the bandages can come off then, right? If it’s starting to scar over, you don’t really need them anymore?”

Buck cleared his throat. “Uh–uh, yeah. Probably. I guess not.”

“Oh good. I was beginning to forget what you looked like without all those dressings and bandages,” he murmured, beginning to drop off into sleep.

Buck took a shaky inhale and whispered, “You probably won’t recognize me anyway. I—I don’t look like me anymore, Eddie.”

But, between one breath and the next, Eddie slipped into oblivion, completely missing Buck’s whispered confession.

***

Three days after they’d talked about him removing the bandages from his burns, Buck finally did. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, with Eddie beside him, he’d taken them all off. It was the first time that Eddie saw the marks on him since the day he got them.

His skin was still a vibrant red, beginning to turn pink. Around the edges, the burns were peeling, making his skin look shiny and slightly wet. A few blisters still remained. From the apple of his cheek down to the crook of his neck, his skin just looked raw and sensitive.

Eddie had only looked for a second, but it was still too long.

Buck had caught him. He could tell that Buck was nervous and uncomfortable, but Eddie was too slow to look away. Buck had immediately dropped his head and turned away from him before darting out of the bathroom and slamming the bedroom door shut. Eddie hadn’t even had the chance to say anything.

Buck went back to his own place not even an hour after that. Eddie insisted he didn’t have to go, nearly got down on his knees and begged him to stay, but he’d gone anyway.

He became distant, not answering texts with more than a word or two. He found any and every excuse to avoid Eddie, claiming he was tired or not feeling well or just not up for company. He didn’t answer the door when Eddie came by, and sure, he could use the key Buck had gifted him to get inside, but he knew if he did that, he might risk pushing Buck even further away.

The chasm that had been growing between them widened even more.

Eddie wasn’t really sure what he did wrong. He didn’t know what he did to make Buck run and hide like this, but he couldn't stop feeling like his relationship, the one that he thought would last the rest of his life, was about to end.

He didn’t know how to fix it. He thought he’d be asking Buck to move in soon and now…

However, Eddie was pretty sure he had a foolproof plan to see Buck.

It was the day of the new Lego drop. No way Buck denied Christopher.

Eddie had ended up requesting the day off when he’d first heard about their plan to stand in line and wait to get into the Lego store. He couldn’t let his boys have all the fun without him.

So, he and Chris piled into the truck after getting ready for the day and drove to Buck’s. Eddie parked along the curb in front of the house and turned to look at his son.

“Wait here, I’ll be just a minute, okay?”

Chris nodded. “Tell Buck to hurry. I want a good spot in line.”

Saluting his son, Eddie climbed out of the truck and walked quickly to the front door. He knocked three times and waited.

Buck didn’t answer the door.

Eddie knocked again. “Buck, it’s me! We gotta go!”

Again, he was met with complete and total radio silence.

Huffing, Eddie pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Buck’s number, holding it up to his ear. For a scary moment, Eddie thought Buck wasn’t going to answer, but right before he was sent to voicemail, the call connected.

“Hello?” Buck’s voice was quiet and small, almost timid in a way that sounded disturbingly wrong coming out of the man that was big and boisterous all the time.

“Buck, hey,” Eddie said gently. “Are you ready to go? We’re here.”

Buck didn’t say anything for a moment, but then, “ready to go where?”

Eddie frowned, his brows drawing into a furrow. “The Lego store? For the new Marvel set that you promised Chris?”

“Oh, shit,” he heard Buck mutter.

“You forgot?”

“I–no. I mean, may-maybe,” he stuttered.

It wasn’t like Buck to forget something like this–something he and Chris had looked forward to for so long. It was just a fact of the world: the sky was blue, the grass was green, and Buck never forgot about plans he made with Christopher.

“Well, fine. That’s okay. Get ready quickly, we can still make it at a good time if we leave in the next ten minutes.”

Buck went quiet again. Eddie actually had to pull the phone away from his ear to make sure the call was still connected.

“Buck?” He asked when the silence stretched a second too long.

“I—I can’t go, Eddie,” he finally said.

Eddie felt his frown deepen. “Buck, what? What’re you talking about, you can’t go? You took the day off specifically for this.”

“I know. I know, but I’m not—I just can’t. I don’t feel good,” Buck’s voice shook.

Eddie was kind of at a loss, if he was being honest. Buck had never, never turned down plans with Christopher, especially when they planned something in advance like this.

“Buck, c’mon. You and Chris have had these plans for weeks. He’s been so excited about this.”

“I can’t really control when I do and do not feel sick, Eddie. I’m—I’m sorry. I can’t go.”

“Well, maybe you need to see your doctor then. This is, like, the third time this week that you’re not feeling well. Your burns could have gotten infected or something.”

“I don’t need to see a doctor, Eddie. I’m–I’m fine.”

“But…Buck, you just said you weren’t feeling well. I’m just confused. And–and worried about you.”

“Just–I’m just tired. I have a headache, I’ll be fine. You can just…go without me.”

Eddie swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat. “Christopher doesn’t want to go without you. I don't either. We miss you.”

Buck took a shaky inhale. His voice suddenly sounded thick with tears. “Tell him I’m sorry. I’ll–I’ll try to make it up to him. I’m s-sorry, Eddie.” Without another word, the line went dead.

Eddie pulled the phone away from his ear, looking at the screen to see if Buck had really, actually just hung up on him.

There were no words. Nothing he could say to explain the panic, the devastation, the frustration he was feeling. He felt hot and cold at the same time, fire and ice warring inside of him.

He stood on Buck’s front porch for another minute, blinking back tears, before he felt under control enough to go and see the disappointment that would inevitably cross Chris’ face.

“Where is he?” Chris asked the second Eddie opened the door to get back in the truck.

“Chris, Buck’s not…he’s not feeling very well. He said he’s sorry, but he has to cancel.” Eddie tried to control the tremor in his voice, but the hurt he felt made it difficult.

Chris slouched down in his seat, his shoulders slumping in defeat. All of the excitement the boy had displayed for the day ahead melted away and turned into a melancholic disappointment.

“We can still go, Chris. You and I,” Eddie tried. “We can even grab lunch while we’re out, maybe catch that movie you’ve been wanting to see afterwards?”

He shrugged. “Buck wanted to see that movie too.”

Eddie sighed deeply. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Can we just go home?” Chris asked quietly. “I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.”

“Chris, please. We can—”

“Dad, please. I just want to go home.”

Defeated, Eddie turned the truck on and drove them home. Chris disappeared into his bedroom for the rest of the day. 

***

It all came to a head on the day of Bobby and Athena’s backyard BBQ.

He knew he was playing a losing game when he messaged Buck the morning of and asked if he still wanted to go, but he sent the text anyway.

Buck never responded. Hadn’t even read Eddie’s message.

So, Eddie showed up a few minutes after five, Chris, a container of store-bought cookies, and a six-pack in tow anyway.

Everyone else had already arrived. Chimney, Maddie, and Ravi were sitting in the backyard with glasses of lemonade, watching Jee and Nash run circles in the grass. Hen was helping Athena prep food in the kitchen while Karen mixed some sort of punch for the kids. Bobby stood at the grill, scrubbing it down with a brush, as May and Harry kept him company.

“Hey Eddie!” Hen called when he rounded the corner into the kitchen. Christopher had already found Denny and Mara sitting in the grass outside, the three of them watching as Denny played a video game on his handheld device.

“Hi, Hen. Hi, Athena,” Eddie greeted politely, setting the cookies down on the counter. “Smells good in here.”

Athena grinned. “That would be the macaroni and cheese. Six different cheeses.”

“Where’s your sidekick?” Hen interjected, looking at him expectantly. “Didn’t know you and Buck could separate for longer than thirty seconds at a time.”

Eddie knew it was coming. He knew he’d get questions when he showed up without Buck.

“Uh. Yeah, he wasn’t feeling up to it,” he lied, probably a little too quickly. They didn’t need to know that he hadn’t seen Buck in almost a week, or that they’d barely even talked. “He’s still pretty tired from everything.”

Athena made a sympathetic face. “Well, we’ll have to make sure you take a plate home for him. I know how much he loves Bobby’s cooking.”

Eddie forced a smile and tried to ignore the feeling of his heart plummeting into his stomach. “I’m sure he’d love that. Can—can I help with anything?”

Athena waved him off. “Oh no, we’re just about done here. Grab yourself a drink and go visit with everyone outside.”

Eddie nodded and tried to swallow his panic down. Maddie was on the patio. Buck’s sister, who definitely expected to see Buck with him. Who would know something was off the second she got a look at him.

He huffed a deep sigh and uncapped a beer before making his way out to the patio. He lowered himself into the chair beside Maddie.

Might as well rip the band-aid off.

“Hey, Eddie,” she said warmly, grinning softly.

“Hi, Maddie.” He took a swig of his drink, watching Nash chase Jee. “Looks like they have some energy to burn.”

Maddie snorted. “No kidding. Usually Uncle Buck runs them ragged when he comes around, but we haven’t seen much of him, considering.”

Eddie took another pull from his bottle before clearing his throat. “Have you…talked to him at all?”

“No. Just a few texts back and forth. Why? Is everything okay?”

Maddie’s soft tone sounded so much like Buck that it suddenly made Eddie want to cry. He blinked back tears.

“I don’t—no, I don’t think so, Maddie. I kind of feel like he’s going to break up with me.”

Maddie’s expression turned to shock. “What? Is he not here with you?”

Eddie shook his head. “No. We haven’t—I haven’t seen him since Monday.”

“That was six days ago!”

“Trust me, I know. I’ve been counting them,” Eddie chuckled bitterly.

“I thought he was staying with you?”

“He went back to his place on Monday. I told him he didn’t have to, but he went anyway.” Eddie took a long drink of his beer and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know what I did wrong. He won’t see me, won’t even just talk to me. I just—I don’t know what to do.”

Maddie frowned, her eyebrows drawing into a deep v. “That doesn’t make any sense. Eddie, he was ecstatic about being with you. He told me that he already knew he wanted to marry you after your first date.”

Eddie’s breath left him in a sharp gasp, his lungs tightening painfully in his chest. One traitorous tear slipped over his waterline and spilled down his cheek. He wiped it away hastily.

“He wants—then, why? What did I do so wrong for him to suddenly be so distant?”

Maddie pursed her lips and thought for a moment. “Maybe it’s not about you.”

“How could it not be, Maddie?”

“Did he give you any indication prior to moving back to his place that he was…unhappy with you? Was he distancing himself then?”

Eddie thought back to the week and a half that Buck spent at his house after the accident. Buck had seemed like himself, mostly.

“No. He wasn’t. At least, it didn’t seem like it.”

“What made him go back to his place? Did you guys fight or something?”

Eddie shook his head. “No. No, we didn’t fight. The only thing that really happened that day was that he took all of the dressings off of his burns.”

“Hm,” Maddie hummed. “Maybe that made him nervous? But, you’d been helping him change the dressings, right? It wasn’t your first time seeing them without any coverings?”

Eddie shook his head again. “No, he wouldn’t let me help with any of that. He’d been doing it on his own this entire time.”

As he said it, it was like a lightbulb moment for Maddie. Her face turned sad.

“Eddie. For a long time, my brother only felt wanted when someone was attracted to him physically. You know that, right?”

Eddie nodded. He’s heard the stories of Buck 1.0. He couldn’t believe that all of those people Buck had been with in one way or another didn’t realize what they had at the time. The kind, caring, loving man who would’ve done anything for them, who would’ve made their lives endlessly better.

Their loss, he thought.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t know what that has to do with me, though. I don’t just want him physically. He’s so much more to me than that.”

“I know, but Eddie—you understand how a third-degree burn heals, right?”

He scoffed. “Of course I do. Kind of comes with the territory, you know?”

“So you know it’s not something that’s just going to go away. Buck is going to be living with the reminder of what happened for the rest of his life.”

“So, what? This is about the scars he’s going to have?”

“Maybe. Something out of his control happened. Changed him. He probably doesn’t recognize himself anymore, so why would anyone else?”

Eddie let Maddie’s words sink in, rolling them around in his mind and trying to make sense of them.

“But—he—Buck has to know that doesn’t matter to me, right?” he pleaded with her. “What he looks like doesn’t matter to me. I care about him so much deeper than his appearance.”

Maddie’s eyes soften, turning shiny. “I know that and you know that. But Evan has tied his worth to his appearance for so long. How he looks and how he’s seen. That doesn’t just go away, even with years of therapy and practice to think otherwise.”

Eddie thought back to the days that Buck spent in the hospital, how he wouldn’t let anyone in if he was in the middle of a dressing change. How he wouldn’t let Eddie help him at home with any of it. And now this. He’d encouraged Buck to remove the bandages fully and Buck had run away, isolating himself from everyone.

“I wish he wouldn’t have shut me out,” Eddie says mournfully, a few more tears sliding down his face that he wipes away quickly. “We could’ve—I could’ve talked to him.”

“It might’ve just been a way to protect himself. He pulled away first instead of waiting for you too.”

Everything suddenly hit Eddie with stunning clarity. He couldn’t believe he’d been so blind.

“Maddie, I’ve gotta—I have to see him. I have to fix this,” he stammered, standing up from his chair. “Can you take Chris—”

“I’ve got Chris, don’t worry about him,” Maddie cut him off. “Go, Eddie. Don’t let him walk away.”

Without saying a word to anybody else, Eddie bolted out of the house, accidentally slamming the door behind him, and climbed into his truck. Every red light felt like a personal attack. He knew he was driving a little bit recklessly, but for the last six days, Buck had felt unwanted. Eddie couldn’t stand the thought of him having those thoughts for another second.

He pulled into the driveway, parking behind Buck’s jeep. He could see the soft glow of the tv through the living room window.

This time, Eddie used his key to get inside. Buck had turned him away enough to know better now. He opened the door and pushed his way through.

“Buck?”

He gets no response. Eddie ventured into the living room. A movie was playing on the tv, but Buck wasn’t in his usual spot on the couch, so he continued on to the kitchen.

“Buck?” He tried again.

He rounded the corner into the kitchen and saw Buck standing at the stove, his back to Eddie. He was wearing a hoodie, despite the warm evening, with the hood pulled up over his curls.

“Buck,” he said for the third time, waiting for him to turn around and look at him.

Buck didn’t. “Why are you here, Eddie?” He asked, his voice low.

“Why am I–Buck, you’ve been dodging me all week. Why else would I be here?” Eddie stepped forward again, closing a little more distance between the two of them. “We need to talk.”

“What’s there to talk about? There’s nothing we need to talk about.”

“Nothing?” Eddie echoed.

Buck cleared his throat. “Nothing.”

Eddie felt like Buck was slipping further and further away from him, even though he was standing right there. This was the closest they’d been in almost a week, but he’d never felt so far away from him.

“Are you–are you breaking up with me?” Eddie decided to just pull the trigger and get it over with.

That seemed to make Buck stumble. He watched his shoulders draw upward, his posture turn a little more rigid.

“Wha–no, Eddie. I’m not breaking up with you,” he mumbled.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Eddie shot back. He tried to keep his tone even, but he felt like a tightly coiled spring about to snap. “The way you’ve been shutting me out and turning me away.”

“Eddie, I–”

“The way you haven’t let me see you since the bandages came off.”

He watched Buck freeze completely. For a long moment, he was quiet before he dropped his head, his chin hitting his chest. “I–I can’t, Eddie.”

“Why not?” Eddie begged. “Why won’t you let me in anymore?”

“Because! Because, Eddie, I don’t look like the man you once knew. I don’t–I don’t look like the old me anymore. I don’t look like the man you fell in love with.”

Eddie’s eyes grew misty with tears. “Buck, can you please look at me?”

Buck shook his head.

“Please, baby.” Eddie knew he stooped low with the term of endearment, but he was desperate at this point.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, Buck turned around and looked at Eddie. For the first time in almost a week, their eyes met.

He didn’t mean to, but Eddie’s eyes flicked to the burns. They were still healing, but the angry red he’d seen before had faded to a lighter shade, almost pink in some places. The skin on his face, jaw, and neck was uneven. Some spots looked smooth and tight, others still peeling.

He only looked for a second, but that’s all it took. Buck flinched, dropping his head down to his chest.

“Please stop doing that,” Eddie blurted out. “Please stop hiding from me.”

“Then you need to stop pretending,” Buck shot back, lifting his head again. “Stop pretending that this doesn’t change everything. Stop pretending that this,” he gestured crudely to his face, “doesn’t bother you.”

“Buck, what are you talking about?” Eddie pleaded. “It doesn’t bother me!”

Buck laughed bitterly and turned away from Eddie. He grabbed onto the edge of the counter, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “I saw the way you looked at me when I took the dressings off, Eddie. You don’t have a very good poker face.”

“Buck, that isn’t fair. You barely gave me a second to even look at you that day before you took off and hid.”

“It’s okay if you want to leave,” Buck said softly, ignoring what Eddie said. “It’s only been a couple of weeks, so I–I get it. This isn’t what you signed up for. Get out before we’re totally committed.”

“Buck, what the hell are you talking about?” Eddie ran a hand through his hair, tugging it a little. “I am totally and completely committed to you. I’m not leaving. Turn around and look at me, Buck.”

Heaving a deep sigh, Buck turned around. His eyes had grown teary and red, making the blue turn vibrant.

Eddie took a step closer.

“Buck, I love you. I’m not leaving you ever, if I have my way.” He chanced another step in Buck’s direction. With the counter behind him, Buck had nowhere else to go.

“Eddie, I’m not the man you fell in love with. I don’t–I don’t look like that person anymore and I never will again. Do you get that? These are never going away.” Buck gestured up to his face. “I’m never going to be the version of myself that I once was.”

Eddie took another step forward. Only a few steps separated them now.

“Buck, you are still the man I fell in love with. That doesn’t change just because you got hurt. You are still Buck,” he insisted. “Do you really think I’m only attracted to you because of the way you look?”

Buck didn’t say anything and that was enough of an answer for Eddie.

“Buck, I fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you look like.” Eddie made sure his tone left no room for argument. “I love you because you’re selfless and loyal and the kindest person I’ve ever known. Because you’re gentle and empathetic and you always see the best in people, even the ones who don’t deserve your grace. Because of your resilience and curiosity about everything and your passion for life. I love you because of the way you treat Christopher like he’s your own.”

Eddie watched as tears fell over Buck’s waterline, cutting trails down his cheeks. He felt his own tears start running down his face.

“But, Buck. The most beautiful part of you?”

Eddie stepped forward, closing the distance between them completely. He lifted his hand up, carefully settling his fingers on the edge of Buck’s jaw, on the edge of the burn. Buck flinched, but he didn’t pull away from Eddie.

“The most beautiful part of these scars?”

Buck inhaled sharply, like it got caught halfway in. “What?” He whispered shakily.

Eddie moved his hand up, cupping more of Buck’s cheek. “They mean you survived. You’re still alive. You’re still here for me to love, which is the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine.

“And for what it’s worth, you are still the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he continued, smiling up at Buck. “A few burns and some scars don’t change how I see you, baby. They don’t make you into somebody I don’t know anymore. I see you. All of you. And I absolutely love the view.”

Buck hiccuped out a sob before tipping forward like someone cut his strings and pressing his forehead to Eddie’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Buck’s shoulders, holding him tight.

“I love you, Buck, and nothing is ever going to change that, do you hear me?” Eddie whispered. He pressed his lips to the top of Buck’s head, pressing a soft kiss to his curls.

Eddie lost track of time then. He’s not sure how long they stood in Buck’s kitchen, just holding one another, but eventually, Buck pulled back, leaving just enough space to breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “For—for all of it. For shutting you out. For not trusting you. I just…I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Eddie shook his head. “Hey, no. You don’t get to apologize for being scared, baby, okay? Never.”

Buck nodded, a short, clipped movement. “Okay.”

And then, for the first time that night—the first time in over a week actually—Eddie watched a small smile cross Buck’s face.

“Do you…wanna stay for dinner?” he asked timidly. “I was just about to make some pasta.”

Eddie leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Buck’s. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

***

Buck didn’t magically overcome his insecurities overnight. It took a lot of reassurance, a lot of steadiness, and a lot of patience.

But eventually, something shifted. Eddie noticed a lightness to him that he hadn’t seen since before he got burned. He stopped ducking his head or turning away when he felt like people were looking too closely. Stopped wearing hoods to cover his scars. Stopped cancelling plans at the last minute.

It was six weeks to the day since Buck’s accident. He’d had his cast removed last week. His concussion was long gone. His burns had healed, for the most part.

He was cleared to return to full duty.

“We should celebrate!” Chris exclaimed from the couch when they returned home from the doctor with good news.

Buck grinned at him. “Yeah? Did you have something in mind?”

Chris’ eyes darted over to Eddie, who nodded back at him.

A few days ago, while Buck was in the shower, Eddie had approached Chris and brought up the conversation they had about Buck moving in with them. Before Eddie could even ask if that was something he would still be okay with, Chris was nodding his approval. So they’d decided together to ask him after he was cleared to return to work.

“Yeah, actually,” Chris responded back to Buck. “Dad and I both have an idea.”

Buck turned and looked at Eddie over his shoulder, his brows furrowing. “Oh?”

Eddie grinned and stepped around Buck, grabbed his hand, and pulled him into the living room. He led Buck to the couch and guided him down next to Chris, then sat himself on the coffee table in front of them.

“What’s going on?” Buck asked suspiciously. “You’re both acting very shady.”

Eddie shared a look with Chris before they both turned their eyes to the other man.

“Chris, you do the honors,” Eddie encouraged, thoroughly enjoying the confusion on Buck’s face.

“Okay! Buck, Dad and I talked about this awhile ago,” Chris began, “and then we decided to wait until you were healed and ready to go back to work before springing this on you. We didn’t want too much going on at once.”

Buck let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay? What–what is it?”

“We want you to move in with us.”

A breathy exhale left Buck’s mouth. “You–what?”

“Move in with us!” Chris repeated. A wide grin covered his face. “You spend ninety-five percent of your time here anyway. It just makes sense!”

Buck tore his gaze away from Chris and looked at Eddie. “You want me to move in with you? After—even after everything?”

Nodding, Eddie reached out and grabbed one of Buck’s hands, holding it between both of his.

“Especially after everything,” he relayed softly. “Nothing would make me happier, Buck, than if you were here with us all the time.”

Tears sprang into Buck’s eyes, turning them misty. “Are–are you sure?”

Both Eddie and Chris nodded eagerly.

“And if you move in, I never have to suffer through Dad’s sorry excuse of pancakes ever again!” Chris tacked on.

Buck let out a startled laugh. Eddie couldn’t even be upset about Chris’ comment, not when it made Buck look like that, so joyful and happy and unbelieving at the same time.

“Okay,” he finally agreed. Eddie could feel Buck’s hand shaking slightly. He lifted it up to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “Yes. I’d love to move in with you.”

The rest of the night consisted of takeout containers from their favorite Thai place, far too many baked goods Buck had been perfecting lately, and a Mario Kart tournament that ended with good natured ribbing and Chris beating them both.

And when Eddie fell into bed with Buck at the end of it, in the room that was not just his anymore, but theirs, he felt like the rest of his life was just beginning.