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"You know, you can't keep doing this, Hayi." Kaveh started, his hands gently working to dab the cloth onto Alhaitham's wrist.
They were here again. In the cold bathroom, Alhaitham zoning out while Kaveh cleaned his cuts and covered them.
"... I know. You always say that." Alhaitham replied quietly, his gaze fixed on Kaveh's hands. He hated eye contact.
"Maybe you should listen." Kaveh mumbled, almost scoldingly, but his voice was still soft. Alhaitham was going through something — again — and he just wanted to be there for Alhaitham.
Alhaitham's lips trembled ever so slightly as he contemplated speaking up about how he felt, or staying quiet. He wanted to be free of that dull ache in his chest, but he was sure that opening up would just make his chest feel heavier.
He snapped out of his thoughts when the antiseptic hit his open wounds, and he hissed slightly.
"I know baby, I know it burns." Kaveh nearly cooed, trying to comfort Alhaitham. Alhaitham liked it more than he wanted to admit. "You're so good for me, Haitham."
The words felt strange. Alhaitham wasn't sure why hearing it made him want to cry and hide away at the same time. Damn Kaveh for making him feel like this, and damn himself for being like this.
He was a mess. A complete mess.
"... I'm sorry," Alhaitham rasped, trying not to let his voice shake too much. His hands were already trembling, Kaveh noticed way earlier.
"I promised I wouldn't do it again." Alhaitham continued, his voice quiet. He was so ashamed of himself. Kaveh had told him so many times how proud he was of Alhaitham for staying clean, and he just had to ruin it. Archons, his chest felt so tight.
"That's okay. You know, it's not gonna make me disappointed in you. I'm just glad you came to me for help. I'm proud of you regardless, okay?" Kaveh said the words so easily, so sincerely.
And Alhaitham just couldn't anymore. He bit the inside of his cheek, his vision going blurry as moisture gathered in his eyes. Damn it, not right now...
"Haitham? Are you— Hey, it's okay—" Kaveh put the cloth down, moving quick to just wrap his arms around Alhaitham's waist, pulling him close. All Alhaitham could do was muster up a shaky sniffle, hiding his face in Kaveh's shoulder.
"It's okay, Alhaitham. You're okay." He whispered soothingly, almost trying to convince himself aswell.
"I don't know why I'm like this," Alhaitham mumbled, his voice shaky and quiet. "I'm sorry." Was all he could muster up before letting out a choked sob. It was getting hard to talk.
Even when he was a mess, Kaveh held him through it. He held Alhaitham together. Alhaitham didn't know why Kaveh stuck around, but archons was he grateful he did.
"You don't have to apologize, baby. None of this is your fault." Damn Kaveh for knowing just what he needed to hear.
Alhaitham couldn't help another sob.
"... One day at a time, Alhaitham. We'll take it slow. It's all going to be okay." Kaveh was so patient for him. So calm. So ... Loving. It hurt so much.
"It hurts," Alhaitham cried, his voice almost sounding like a whine, "It hurts so much." He was shushed with a gentle 'i know baby, i know'.
"I don't deserve you. I don't." Alhaitham clung to Kaveh like he'd disappear tomorrow. He had to admit, he's never seen Alhaitham so emotional. Not even during really bad arguements. But honestly, he was happy that Alhaitham felt safe enough to just... Unmask around him.
"Shh, shh. None of that, love. You deserve the world." Kaveh shushed him again, peppering soft kisses to Alhaitham's head— earning him a few soft whines.
Kaveh was always caring and doting by nature. He really did love pampering Alhaitham to no end. "You're too nice." Alhaitham huffed out, trying to wipe his tears away.
"You deserve it and more. I wish you saw yourself through my eyes."
"... I love you, Kaveh. I love you so much. I'm sorry."
"I love you too, Alhaitham. More than anything."