Work Text:
Charlie Dalton loved his best friend.
He had met Neil at the playground when they were 4 years old. It was a sunny spring day and Charlie had begged his mom to take him to the park so he could go down the slide. When Charlie climbed to the top, there was another little boy sitting there crying, saying he was too afraid to go down. Charlie suggested they slide down together, and the rest was history.
But as much as Charlie loved his best friend, even he could admit that Neil had been getting on his nerves lately.
It felt like every time he looked at Neil, the boy was making heart eyes at Todd, kissing Todd, holding Todd's hand, talking to Todd, talking about Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd! Everything was all about Todd since he and Neil started dating last month, and god, was it annoying.
Charlie would, however, be the first to deny that he was jealous of his best friend. Charlie Dalton was many things, but jealous wasn't one of them... or so he tried to convince himself.
He was happy that Neil was happy and in love, and he loved Todd, don't get him wrong, but the way Neil constantly made everything about Todd was a little much.
Even now at the breakfast table, Neil and Todd were huddled together giggling and smiling and holding hands right in front of Charlie while he tried to eat his mushy oatmeal. He rolled his eyes at them as Neil pressed a kiss to Todd's rosy cheek and continued pushing his oatmeal around with his spoon.
He looked to his left to talk to Knox, but Knox was busy doodling hearts in his chemistry notebook that had Chris Overstreet written in them. Gross.
He turned to his other side to see what Meeks and Pitts were up to, which also proved to be a mistake because Meeks was dozing against Pitts' shoulder while Pitts held him close. Disgusting.
Why did all of his friends have to be so in love? No need to rub it in, Charlie thought bitterly.
"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late," a voice said, approaching the table.
Charlie and the others looked up to see Cameron settling down in the seat next to Neil, placing a stack of books in front of him.
"Jesus, Cameron, can't you go five minutes without studying?" Charlie asked, noting that there were about 7 books in the stack, all of which seemed to be about history.
Cameron rolled his eyes with a huff. "They're for the history paper. You have to research in order to write a research paper, though I'm sure you know nothing about that."
Before Charlie could blurt out a response, Neil stepped into the conversation.
"Let's not start another fight, you two," he said, looking between his two friends. "There's only 10 minutes until breakfast ends, let's all be civil until then, okay?"
And just like that, everyone went back to what they were doing before Cameron arrived. Neil and Todd continued whispering and giggling together, Meeks made himself comfortable in Pitts' arms, and Knox kept doodling in his notebook, which left Charlie to push his oatmeal around once more. What he didn't notice while he was busy sulking was that Cameron was giving him an odd look.
When breakfast ended, Charlie was the first to leave the dining hall, gathering his books for the day and heading out the door before the bell even finished ringing.
"Charlie, wait up!" He heard Cameron call from behind him. He kept walking, picking up his pace. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.
Luck was apparently not on his side today because Cameron quickly caught up and fell into stride beside him.
"Are you okay?" Cameron asked, worried about his roommate.
"Just peachy," Charlie replied dryly.
Cameron was the last person Charlie wanted to talk to about his current predicament. Why would he talk about how jealous he was of his friends being in love with the boy he's been hopelessly in love with for three years?
Instead of giving Cameron a chance to respond, Charlie sped up, losing Cameron among the crowded halls full of students.
As Charlie sat in his chemistry class, he ignored his teacher's lecture, instead wondering how it was possible that Cameron could notice that he was upset, but couldn't see that he was desperately in love with him.
Charlie went through the morning in a weird haze. He couldn't focus during any of his classes, his eyes constantly drifting to his friends. Neil sat behind Todd in Latin, so Charlie watched as he rubbed Todd's back to keep him calm when Mr. McAllister called on him to read out loud. In trigonometry, he glared at Meeks and Pitts when they decided to pair up together for partner work. On the way to lunch, Charlie fell to the back of their friend group, but was stuck listening to Knox wax poetic about Chris' hair. Again.
So by the time he sat down at their usual table for lunch, he was pretty tired of the day. He folded his arms on the table and buried his head in them, closing his eyes. He heard someone sit next to him—likely Knox, as usual—and felt a hand on his shoulder.
"What's wrong?"
Charlie internally groaned. It wasn't Knox, it was Cameron.
"Nothing," he mumbled.
He heard Cameron sigh. "Seriously, Charlie. You've been acting weird all day. What's going on?"
Charlie could tell Cameron was really worried. His voice was low and quiet so no one else could hear him speaking, but Charlie could hear the concern in it. Feeling bad for worrying Cameron, he turned his head and looked at him.
"I'm okay. Promise," he said, trying his best to sound convincing. It would've worked if his voice hadn't cracked.
Cameron gave him a look.
"Really, Cam," Charlie continued. "I'm okay."
"If, uh, if you wanted to talk after school..."
"I know where to find you."
Cameron nodded, giving Charlie a small smile before patting his shoulder. Charlie spent the rest of his lunch barely eating his sandwich and listening to how ridiculously in love his friends sounded.
A few hours later, when the last class of the day finally ended, Charlie dropped his books off in his dorm and headed outside. He sat down beneath his favorite tree on campus, one that had a perfect view of both the back of campus and the lake depending on where you sat, and sighed. He closed his eyes and let the sun shine on his face.
After a few minutes of peace and quiet, he heard the back door open. He opened his eyes and watched as Neil and Todd walked out of the school building and across the lawn.
"–want to come out here again?" He heard Todd ask.
Neil laughed. "Because it's a beautiful day! No reason to spend it cooped up inside all afternoon! Besides, the dock is our spot."
"Oh, is it now?" Todd asked, and Charlie could hear the smile in Todd's voice.
"Of course it is, it's where we had our first kiss!"
Charlie watched as they walked by him, hand-in-hand, not even realizing he was sitting right there. They were clearly in their own little world, so completely and utterly enthralled by each other. Charlie listened to their conversation until they were out of earshot, but watched them sit on the dock together. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could tell they were both smiling and likely looking at each other with heart eyes, as they typically did.
As horrible as he felt for doing so, Charlie couldn't help but roll his eyes. It wasn't fair that all of his friends got to be in love.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear someone getting closer to him.
"There you are."
Charlie pulled his attention away from Neil and Todd to see Cameron standing in front of him. He was no longer wearing his school uniform like Charlie was, instead dressed in a soft maroon sweater and a pair of khakis.
"Can I sit with you?" He asked, pointing at the spot on the ground next to Charlie. When Charlie nodded, Cameron sat down, folding his legs and leaning back against the tree.
He didn't say anything for a few minutes, instead keeping an eye on Charlie, who'd gone back to staring at Neil and Todd on the dock.
"Do you think I'm a bad person?" Charlie found himself asking, his eyes never leaving Neil and Todd.
"Not at all. Where is this coming from? Did Neil or Todd say something?" Cameron asked, noticing the way Charlie’s eyes were fixed on the pair at the dock.
Charlie sighed, running a hand through his hair as he finally peeled his eyes away from his friends to look at Cameron.
"No, no one said anything."
"Then what's the problem?" Cameron asked, not really sure what Charlie was trying to get at.
"Do you ever look at them and wish that was you?" Charlie asked, trying a different approach to the conversation.
Cameron looked from Charlie over to Neil and Todd, who were goofily dancing together on the dock, before looking back at his roommate.
"Are you in love with Neil?"
Charlie looked at Cameron with disgust written all over his face. "In love with Neil? Fuck, no! He's like my brother!"
Cameron gasped. "You're in love with Todd?"
"No! I'm not in love with either of them!" Charlie exclaimed, clearly surprised by the turn the conversation had taken.
"So then what's the problem?" Cameron asked, pausing to think before the realization dawned on him. "You're jealous of them."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement. A statement that made Charlie sigh and nod.
"Yeah."
"It's just– It sucks, you know? Being surrounded by couples all day. Or, I guess in Knox's case, being surrounded by someone so in love. It's not fair. Why do they all get to be so happy but I don't?" Charlie said, looking down at the ground.
"I get it," Cameron said, surprising Charlie.
"You do?"
Cameron nodded. "I mean, I can deal with Meeks and Pitts, they're not big into public displays of affection. And Knox... Chris will never date him, so I kind of ignore that. But watching Neil and Todd together since they started dating? God, I want what they have."
Charlie dropped his jaw in shock. He hadn't realized that Cameron felt the same way.
"Right," Charlie agreed. "On one hand, I'm so happy for them. They've both had hard lives, and I'm really glad they found each other. They deserve it. But on the other hand, watching them makes me feel so miserable. I just wish I could experience something like that too. Unrequited love sucks."
Cameron whipped his head from Neil and Todd to look at Charlie, who had picked up a stick and was using it to dig in the dirt in front of him.
"Unrequited love? Charlie, do you like someone?" Cameron asked curiously.
Charlie froze, his eyes widening. "What?"
"You said unrequited love."
Shit, he thought, mentally smacking himself in the face. He hadn't meant to say that out loud.
"I just meant like... hypothetically," Charlie said weakly.
Cameron squinted his eyes, clearly skeptical. "Oh, I'm sure you meant that hypothetically."
Charlie didn't respond, instead continuing to dig his stick into the dirt. Cameron sighed next to him, but didn't say anything else. They sat under the tree for a while together, Cameron watching Charlie mess around in the dirt, until the dinner bell eventually rang in the distance. They both looked up at each other before shifting their eyes to the dock.
They watched as Neil grabbed Todd's waist and pulled him in for a kiss. Todd's arms moved to rest on Neil's chest. When the pair separated, Neil grabbed Todd's hand and pulled him back toward the school, laughing as they ran together. Only when the door closed did the sound of their laughter disappear.
"God, I want what they have," Charlie muttered.
Cameron patted his shoulder sympathetically before standing and holding out a hand.
"Come on, lover boy, or else we'll be late to dinner. I'm hungry."
"Lover boy?" Charlie squawked. "Who are you calling lover boy!"
Cameron laughed, a huge smile taking over his face and his eyes crinkling. "Come on, Char."
Charlie grabbed Cameron's hand and let himself be pulled up. He brushed the dirt off his pants before looking up at Cameron with a lopsided smile.
"You called me Char," he said. "You never call me Char."
Cameron’s cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. "So what if I did?"
"Anything you'd like to tell me, Richie?" Charlie teased, a hint of hope in his voice.
"Yeah, it's time for dinner. Now come on!" Cameron whined, grabbing Charlie's hand once more and pulling him toward the school doors.
Charlie smiled widely, allowing himself to be pulling along. And as they made their way through the school and toward the dining hall, Charlie couldn't help but wonder if maybe Cameron did feel the same way. Maybe Charlie did have a chance.
Maybe he wouldn't be miserable for much longer.