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The stars in the red kingdom have always been very bright. No brighter than usual, of course, but the kingdom almost seemed to amplify them, making their beauty shine through every passing glance at the sky.
Of course, Apo enjoyed looking at them. It helped her think, something she didn’t stop to do a lot. Sometimes, being a knight required less thinking, more doing, a fact that she was both endlessly grateful, and endlessly annoyed by. Sometimes, utmost loyalty saved her from having to make tough decisions, and other times, it made it hard to stand by, and watch, as bad decisions were made carelessly.
But, the stars were always nice to look at, and sometimes, staring at a ceiling and lying down? It sure helped her think a bunch. So here Apo is.
Thinking.
Or, she would be, if she couldn’t feel the eyes boring into the side of her skull. It frustrated her a bit. Staring annoyed her, and she can practically feel the frown deepening on her face as she opens her eyes, turning her head just in time to catch Princess Cherri’s head turning back towards the sky.
“What’s with the staring?” Apo raises a brow, and watches Cherri’s face contort into a sort of faux innocence.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cherri says, not looking at Apo. The knight huffs a sigh through her nose, electing not to push the issue further. It would get her nowhere. Cherri would just smile gently, and Apo would roll her eyes, pretend to be annoyed, and try to keep the flush from her cheeks. It was their whole song and dance, them two.
“You’re impossible.”
“You simply must be referring to my impossible beauty, right?” Cherri says, and Apo watches as she closes her eyes with a small smile on her face. Something in Apo’s chest aches, and she turns back to the stars, trying to make the emotion in her throat abate. The princess’ witty remarks were something she still wasn’t quite used to, despite all their time being together. Hearing them now, gazing up at the stars, well, it was just a little emotional, was all.
Especially because it was completely true. Cherri was, to put it plainly, impossibly beautiful. It wasn’t like Apo could hide that she found the princess so, not that she would, anyways. Cherri deserved to know she was beautiful. Just… not from Apo. Because Apo was a knight, and her duty was to serve, protect, and more importantly, not to find Princess Cherri attractive.
But, of course, Apokuna did. Apo desperately, insufferably, and totally did. She totally found Cherri’s smile attractive, totally found her laugh to be endearing and sweet, and totally did want to spend the rest of her life with Cherri by her side.
“I’m not talking about your beauty.” Apo tries for humor with her deadpan tone, and it works, as Cherri’s laugh comes out as a snort. Apo marvels in the wonder of it all. One moment, she could be cursing herself over her crush on the princess, and the very next, be in awe at just how wonderful the feeling was.
“I know you aren’t, my knight.” Cherri’s voice is fond, and the possessive pronoun doesn’t go unnoticed by Apo. The knight fights the flush, but her face heats up anyways, and she’s eternally grateful for the cover of night.
“Why am I your knight, anyways?” Apo wonders aloud, the words bursting from her mouth before she can stop it. The fateful day she had been chosen, Apo had always wondered why Cherri hadn’t objected. Surely, there was a better knight there to protect her? Why had her father chosen Apo?
“Why?” Cherri echoes, and Apo watches, out of the corner of her eye, as Cherri turns in the grass to face her. “Why not?”
“Well, I’m nothing special.” Apo mumbles, “There are plenty of other knights like me. Probably stronger.”
Cherri lies there, for a long, painful, thoughtful moment. Apo feels her stare, and Cherri finally sighs, looking back out towards the stars, like she can’t bear to see Apo.
“The stars aren't any less beautiful just because there's so many of them." Cherri says finally, her voice soft, and her words softer, as her breath clouds in the cold night air.
Apo freezes. Well, she isn’t moving, so she can’t really freeze, but if she was, she would be frozen in motion. Her breath hitches, and she holds it for a moment, as if holding onto the warm feeling in her chest. Cherri called her beautiful. Actually, she didn’t, not directly. She could just be using it as an analogy, but god, if Apo’s mind didn’t love to misconstrue the meaning.
Her exhale is sharp, and Apo is sure that Cherri can hear her pounding heartbeat, or probably, just her breathy exhale, in the long silence that stretches between them. Apo is more than a little lightheaded, and she tries to steady her breathing, forcing air in, and out of her lungs for a long moment, before it feels normal again.
“Apokuna?” Cherri whispers into the air, and Apo realizes that the silence has gone on for too long. Cherri says the words like it’s breaking a seal. Anxiously, like something fragile might shatter. Apo hurries to reassure her.
“Yes, princess?” Apo says, and her voice comes out blissfully steady. Cherri doesn’t respond, giving Apo a long look, before turning back to the stars.
“The moon is beautiful tonight too, isn’t it?” Cherri murmurs, and Apo gets the feeling she’s asking about something much deeper than the moon.
“I find it to be unimpressive,” Apo answers honestly, the princess’ deeper meaning lost on her.
“Unimpressive?” Cherri giggles, and Apo turns her head to look at the princess, just as the other woman does the same. The warm smile on Cherri’s face makes Apo’s stomach turn, and she tries for a small smile too.
“Unimpressive,” Apo confirms, “It’s just a reflection of the sun’s light.”
“But it still glows.” Cherri argues, and Apo just turns back to the moon, lifting an arm to gesture at it.
“The sun nourishes grass, it brings the day, it makes everything work. Without it we’d all die.” Apo says, glancing at Cherri for a moment before turning back to the stars. “Compared to that, the moon is quite unspectacular.”
“That’s not true,” Cherri chastises, and she grabs Apo’s hand on its way back to the ground, holding it in one of hers, between the two of them. “The moon controls the tides, the seasons, even the climate. The sun would be useless without the moon.”
Apo’s breath catches again, and she turns her head to look at Cherri, finding the princess’ eyes on her already. Soft, so unbelievably soft,like she’s breaking a seal, like Apo might just shatter if she wasn’t handled gently.
Oh.
Cherri isn’t talking about the sun. Or the moon, for that matter.
No, from the look that Cherri is giving her, it seems like she hasn’t been talking about them for awhile.
The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t she?
“I like the sun better, still.” Apo turns to look back at the stars with unwavering focus, and gently removes her hand from Cherri’s grasp. “But, um- We should be heading in for the night, don’t you think, princess?”
Cherri lies in silence for a moment, and Apo sits up, glancing at her, The princess has a frustrated look on her face.
“What?” Apo feints ignorance, and Cherri blissfully buys it, sighing.
“Have you ever tried really hard to tell someone something,” Cherri asks, looking away from Apo, and sitting up sharply. “-before realizing that they… might just not get it?”
Apo looks away. She gets it. She gets it.
But she is also Apokuna of Soluna, and Cherri is not just Cherri. She is Princess Cherrifire, daughter of the king of Soluna. Apo’s de facto employer. So no matter how much Apo gets it, she can’t show that she does.
Because loving Cherri is wrong.
And the fact that she tricked Cherri into loving her? That’s even worse.
“No, I’ve never had that happen to me.”