Chapter Text
River gripped the banister of the observation booth tightly, intently watching the performance in the auditorium below. She gasped in delight as one of the performers roared, breathing fire from his mouth. The flame morphed in the air, changing shape until it resembled a dragon. Little motes of flame all around the stage flickered to life, resembling heroes and soldiers. As one, they charged the fiery beast, pushing it back as a team. The fiery apparitions seemed to dance even as they clashed, every motion gracefully executed.
It was beautiful.
River turned to her parents. They were still talking with the cruel-eyed man, smiling fake smiles and all that, but she was too excited to not interrupt. She dashed back up to their seats and tugged at the sleeve of her mother’s dress. “Mother, I want to learn how to do that!” she declared, pointing towards the stage.
Her mother glanced at her with a frown. “Do what? Surely you don’t wish to become some common performer? You are above such a petty profession.”
River shook her head, kind of confused. “No, no, no. I want to breath fire! And, and! I want to make it dance! It’s so pretty!” As she talked, River found herself smiling again. Maybe she could even have Mother or Father teach her! It was so rare for her to spend time with them like this. She giggled to herself. She was so sneaky! She was basically tricking them into having more fun with her!
Her good mood sputtered out as she realized that her parents and the scary man were all looking annoyed at her. The scary man said something first.
“Ah, your daughter is quite the rambunctious one, Count Dolkness. I suppose manners are quite difficult to impart to someone so young.”
River didn’t really get it. She knew she was supposed to have manners, but she couldn’t tell if he was saying she was good at them or not. She didn’t know what ram-bunk-shus meant.
“It is no great challenge for someone of her standing,” her father replied. “I shall have to replace her tutor.”
River’s eyes went wide. She loved Annette! “But-” she cut off as her mother tightly gripped her wrist.
“Your new one will teach you the proper ways for nobility to use magic,” her mother said coldly. “Now sit properly and hush.”
Her misbehaving daughter handled, Countess Dolkness turned her attention back to the Baravian merchant seated with her family. “Please excuse our daughter. Finding decent tutors is much like the business of magical stones – it’s all about discarding the impure to make room for the true gems.”
The merchant smiled toothily. “Indeed. I make a point of only dealing in the most refined of stones, which is why the concessions you’re demanding are simply untenable. If…”
River tried not to make a sound as the conversation continued. As the performance continued, the burning figures flared too brightly for her to see through her tears. The fire magic didn’t seem so pretty anymore.
<><><>
River stared blankly at the textbook in front of her. Supposedly, there was supposed to be magic in here, but it was just weird diagrams and letters she could barely read. She looked over to her new tutor, who was reading a novel with a strange man and woman on the cover.
“Um, Miss Derth, I don’t, um…”
“You are not some stuttering peasant,” her tutor said sharply, not moving her focus from her book. “If you have a question, ask it properly.”
River bit the inside of her lip. She missed Annette. After a few calming breaths to make sure she wouldn’t cry, she said “Miss Derth, I don’t understand what I’m reading. Would you please help me?”
“Be more specific,” Miss Derth sniped. “What do you need help with?”
River looked back to her reading, the incoherent diagrams seemingly blurring together. “Um, all of it?”
Miss Derth breathed out sharply through her nose. “I see you are in more dire straits than I imagined. That said, your previous tutor’s incompetence is no excuse for laziness. You haven’t even tried yet.”
“B-but I have been trying! I don’t un-understand,” River choked out as the frustration overwhelmed her. She feel the tears in her eyes already, but everyone said she wasn’t supposed to cry, so she tried to hold it back.
Miss Derth noticed anyway. “Miss Dolkness, this behavior is most unbecoming! I was hired to make up for the shortcomings of my predecessor, but if you…”
“Annette was way better than you!” River blurted out. “She h-helped me and gave me snacks and paid attention to me and, and…” River hiccuped, startling herself into properly crying. “Just g-go away! I don’t want to learn this anymore!”
With a huff, Miss Derth rose and strode away. A guard met her at the library’s entrance, the jangle of his equipment receding as he escorted her away.
Miss Derth didn’t come back.
<><><>
River stood at the door to her father’s study, trying to summon the courage to knock. It shouldn’t be this hard! She just wanted… she wanted Annette back. The last few months had been so lonely. Mother and Father had been seeing her less, and each new tutor was worse than the last. None of them cared about her, really. Everybody was scared of her and she just wanted things to go back to the way that they were.
Tentatively, she rapped her knuckles against the door. It was quiet for a long moment. River started to wonder if he was even in there when her father’s voice finally boomed out.
“Enter.”
Reaching up, Yajiro pulled down the door handle and slipped through the opening. Her father made a noise of disapproval as he saw her. “River. You should be in bed.”
“I- I apologize, father,” River managed. “It’s, um. I have a request.”
Her father frowned. “Speak.”
“I want Annette back,” River blurted out. She didn’t trust herself not to stammer if she didn’t just say it.
Her father’s frown deepened. “Who? One of your tutors?”
River flinched. He didn’t even know who Annette was? But it was Annette! “M-my first tutor.”
When her father didn’t respond, River kept on talking. “She was a really good teacher, and, um, I like her was more than any of the new ones. And she was nice to me, and-”
“River,” her father’s voice cut her off. “That woman failed you when she caused you to embarrass yourself and your house in front of out benefactors. To give her a second chance would be weakness.”
“No! She didn’t fail! It was m-my fault. I’ll be better, just-”
“I am well aware of your limitations. You must overcome them. Your duty as the heir of the Dolkness County is to continue my legacy. I will not have that duty sullied by mere sentimentality.”
River sniffled, trying not to-
“Do not cry. It is unbecoming.”
She bit the inside of her mouth hard enough to hurt. “Yes, father.”
The Count sighed, looking at his trembling mess of a daughter. When the stars had blessed them with a second chance so soon after that accursed demon could have destroyed everything, Victor had believed that River would live up to his name. Instead, his daughter embarrassed him at every opportunity. Even the servants spoke ill of her these days.
“Listen to me, River. Reputation is everything.” He gestured to the office around him. “Everything that I have – everything that will one day be yours – is because of how others perceive us. It doesn’t matter whether you have the skills, the Levels, or even the money to back it up. People are drawn to confidence, to legacy, like a moth to flame.” He paused. “This,” he said, gesturing at her, “is what makes me change your tutors. When you fail to comport yourself as a proper lady, you damage my legacy. Do you understand?”
River nodded shakily. “Yes sir. I will be better.”
“Good. Now get to bed. The servants will talk.”
River scuttled out of his office quickly, holding back tears all the way. Her breaths came in shuddering gasps as she tried her hardest not to cry, and she barely made it into her room before a wet sound escaped her throat.
<><><>
River ran to Annette’s quarters, the fire dancers completely forgotten. She carried her crushing guilt into the room with her, crying incoherently about how she had gotten Annette fired. Annette understood immediately, but had just held River and soothed her gently.
“Aren’t you mad at me?” River asked through a hiccup.
Annette smiled sadly at her. “Of course not, butterfly. I’m sad that we will part ways, but I would never be angry at you. I want you to be happy, and yelling at you certainly won’t help with that.”
“B-but! You’re getting fired because of m-me. Why do you still want me to be happy?”
“Because I love you,” Annette replied, kissing River lightly on the forehead. “Be strong for me, okay?”
<><><>
River sobbed into her pillow. Why had Annette loved her even when she messed up? It didn’t make any sense. It was stupid. She wasn’t good enough to be loved. She wasn’t strong at all. She would just have to be better. If she was better, she wouldn’t have to be alone.