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The news that Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski were dating traveled through the castle fast. However, the whispers and gossip weren’t filled with the malice that Derek had expected and warned Stiles of. Derek seemed to pick up phrases like “Finally” and “Took them long enough” from people who actually probably knew he could hear them.
So, all in all, Stiles and Derek making out by the lake in the middle of the first quidditch match of the season was news, but it was good news. Kate stayed out of their way, quieted by her father’s impending trial, which was a whole other round of gossip that was spreading like wildfire through the school. Normally any talk of Kate set Derek’s hair on end but he’d been too happy over the past two weeks to even care.
He sat with Stiles in one of the small, two person tables at the back of the library, hidden from public eye, deep within the shelves. They sat as close as it was possible without getting in each other’s way while they worked on homework. Just being this close to Stiles boosted Derek’s mood infinitely. His scent and the steady sound of his heartbeat kept Derek’s wolf calm and content. The full moon was at the end of the week and as the moon waxed in the week before, Derek always felt more anxious and jumpy. Being close to Stiles seemed to help in keeping him grounded.
They had talked about it, the full moon, and Stiles understood that while Derek had gained full control of his shifts years ago, sometimes the unexpected did happen.
The public opinion on werewolves had changed dramatically over the past twenty years, and Derek knew his family was one of the larger reasons why, as well as wizarding supporters and new ministry regulations. As long as they could maintain control for the most part, werewolves were allowed to attend school and the current headmaster, Deaton, was very supportive of his werewolf students. Derek and Laura weren’t the only ones, and it seemed every year the group of werewolf students grew just a little bit larger.
On full moons, the younger wolves were given a potion that had been perfected over the years that kept them from shifting. It was brewed by the headmaster himself and was only mandatory for the first few years. The older wolves were allowed to shift and run in the Forbidden Forest, as long as they didn’t go in too deep and stayed together as a pack, even if it was a small one. In a way, full moons were one of Derek’s favorite things because with them came freedom.
Stiles was muttering under his breath as he wrote his potions essay, something about cursing Harris to the deepest level of hell or something like that. Derek snorted and couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend. His boyfriend. He was still getting used to that. He reached over with his left hand, resting it on Stile’s knee, squeezing a little before moving it back and forth, lightly trailing his fingers up and down the length of Stiles’ thigh. Derek is immediately satisfied to hear Stiles’ heartbeat tick up a little faster and his breathing get shallower, though he continued to write his essay as if Derek isn’t doing anything.
After less than a minute Stiles snaps, grabbing Derek’s hand, squeezing it and huffing in frustration. Derek couldn’t help but grin.
“Derek we’re in the library.”
“No one’s around –”
“Later, okay?” Stiles promised. “You know I have to finish this. Meet me outside the Ravenclaw common room tonight at eleven? We can go up to the Astronomy Tower. It’s the first night that there’s been no classes so we’ll get some alone time there.”
They hadn’t been back to the astronomy tower since that first night, and Stiles was feeling a bit apprehensive about what being alone in the dark with Derek would entail. Going to a school like Hogwarts basically meant absolutely no privacy, especially for couples. Stiles and Derek had managed to sneak off to a few abandoned stairwells, broom closets, and alcoves for a few quick make out sessions with some groping here and there, but that was about it.
Thanks to Derek’s heightened sense of hearing, they’d yet to be caught by any unsuspecting teachers or students (though Stiles was pretty sure a ghost had accidentally drifted by at the wrong moment the other day). Either way, while they got to be together quite a lot, it was always in public, or surrounded by people. Stiles desperately wanted to find a place where they could just be alone and/or not have worry about being caught the whole time.
At eleven Stiles slipped out of the common room to find Derek leaning up against the wall, waiting for him…holding a bag of something. Stiles quirked an eyebrow at that.
“What’s in the bag?”
Derek blushed a little before shrugging in an attempted to be noncommittal. “I know you skipped dinner to finish your potions essay in time so that you could see me tonight. So I got Isaac to help me into the kitchens and got you some food.”
Stiles couldn’t help the grin that took over his face as he reeled Derek in, careful of the bag of food, and kissed him full on the mouth.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever,” Stiles declared still grinning. “Now c’mon let’s go.” Derek continued to blush as Stiles grabbed his free hand and dragged him down the hall.
They were on the seventh floor when Derek froze, pulling on Stiles’ hand to get him to stop.
“Stiles wait, I hear someone. They’re above us, heading towards the stairwell on the eighth floor. It sounds like Harris.”
Stiles immediately let go of Derek’s hand and began pacing the hall back and forth next to the wall as he began to panic.
“Oh god, of all people, Harris? He already hates me enough, he’s totally gonna get us in trouble. Shit, shit, shit. Any other teacher would just tell us to go back to our dormitories and go on with their lives.”
“Stiles.”
“But no,” Stiles continued, still pacing and ignoring Derek. “Harris is going to drag us off to Deaton and give us some sort of cruel and unusual detention like cleaning the boys’ bathroom by hand and –”
“Stiles!” Derek barked.
“What! I’m freaking out here Derek!”
Derek rolled his eyes, and then paused for a second before he pointed at the wall behind Stiles, “Was that door there a minute ago?”
Stiles looked at Derek like he was crazy before turning to see the affirmative door on the once blank castle wall. Stiles let out a gleeful yelp before flinging the door open and pulling Derek inside with him.
Derek gawked at the room before him. It was dimly lit with row of windows lined the back wall, decently sized, and was set up a little bit like a parlor in someone’s home, with a small table to one side and an array of squashy couches that Stiles was currently plopping himself down on to, sitting back with a grin.
Derek just huffed and sat down next to Stiles, handing him the bag of food. Stiles immediately took a sandwich out, scarfing it down and grinning, then reclined back on the couch so his legs draped over Derek’s lap.
“Where are we anyways?” Derek asked eventually, once Stiles had eaten the majority of the food in his bag.
“I think we’re in the Room of Requirement,” Stiles answered, lazily playing with Derek’s hand where it rested on his upper thigh. “My dad told me about it when I was little. He said he and his friends spent all seven years hoping they’d find it, but they never did,” he sat up abruptly. “Oh he is so not gonna believe I found it in only five,” Stiles grinned, but continued. “He told me the room gives you exactly what you need. The legend is you have to walk in front of the wall three times thinking about what you need and it gives it to you. I was thinking we needed a place to be alone where no one would come barging in. I guess it gave us that. What a stroke of luck that I was pacing in front of this very room, huh.” Stiles sat for a second, surveying the room, then paused and looked at Derek.
In a flurry of limbs Stiles was clambering onto Derek, straddling his lap and grinning down at his boyfriend deviously. “It also seems to have given us a place where we can make out uninterrupted,” he said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Derek groaned and gave in, tilting his head up to meet Stiles’ lips.
Walking with Stiles to classes the next morning, with plans to meet up again that night, Derek was feeling on top of the world as he gave his boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek before Stiles disappeared into his Charms class (the tips of his ears noticeably red). He should’ve known it wouldn’t last long.
“Aw, that’s cute,” sneered a voice behind him. Derek was nowhere near surprised when he turned to see Kate smirking at him. She approached him slowly and deliberately and it took all of Derek’s self control to keep his wolf from rising to the surface and straight up growling at her.
“You two are so…domestic,” she said, as if the word offended her. “But the full moon’s at the end of the week. Has he seen you shifted? He’s not gonna like you so much when he realizes you no longer have such a pretty face when you’re in beta form, is he? I bet the second he sees your eyes and those fangs he’ll freak.”
At this, Derek did growl. “Unlike you, Stiles isn’t superficial. He likes me for me.”
Kate huffed a laugh, “Sure thing. But you’re not so good about keeping people interested, are you? I can speak from personal experience. I’d watch out If I were you, he’s actually kind of a catch. Someone might just lure him away when you don’t fit the bill any more.” She jerked her head towards the open door of the charms classroom where inside Lydia and Stiles were sitting next to each other, a little too close for Derek’s comfort.
“They’re just friends,” Derek gritted out.
“And who told you that, him? Your sister?” Kate scoffed. “Please, Stiles follows Lydia around like a puppy.” Kate wasn't exactly wrong, Stiles had been hanging around Lydia quite a lot still in past few weeks that they'd been together. But it was completely plantonic. Right?
“How about you stay the hell out of my relationship and worry about your own issues, Kate,” Derek growled before turning and stalking to class.
However, as the day progressed and Derek was left alone to overthink, it seemed whatever seeds of doubt Kate had tried to plant were sprouting, and Derek began to question everything.
What if she was right?
Kate had never liked his wolf side, Derek knew why now of course. But even when they were…whatever they were, he could sense that she was appalled any time he flashed his eyes or fangs or his claws grew in the heat of the moment. What if Stiles was the same? Or what if he decided Derek wasn’t who or what he wanted anymore? Derek didn’t think he could handle having Stiles and then losing him. He knew he was psyching himself out but he just couldn’t help it.
Of course all his worries were put on the back burner as soon as Stiles found him after his last class, grinning and dragging him into an alcove so that he could kiss him breathless before they headed off to lunch. Stiles was chattering excitely about the upcoming trip to Hogsmeade that weekend, insisting that they had to visit Honeydukes as Stiles was getting low on sugar quills, which lead to Stiles planning out their whole day in the village. Derek wanted to smack himself at how stupid he was, and decided there was no way in hell he’d let Kate get to him like that again.
However, not letting Kate get to him was always easier said than done. It wasn’t until later that night when he was slotted between Stiles’ hips on one of the couches in the Room of Requirement that her words came back to him. It seemed each kiss, each touch threatened to push his wolf closer and closer to breaking free. They weren’t even really doing anything yet and this seemed to be the most out of control Derek had ever been while with another person. Well, there’d only ever really been Kate but he’d rarely lost control with her. Stiles just had a way of taking Derek off his hinges.
When he felt Stiles rut up against his leg and smelled the fresh wave of arousal that came with it, Derek pulled back, gasping, barely keeping his wolf below the surface. Stiles seemed confused at first but then a flicker of knowing was in his eyes that made Derek a little nervous.
“I’m sorry, is this too fast?” Stiles asked sheepishly, sitting up. His cheeks were flushed, pupils blown, and his lips were swollen and red. He looked rumpled and absolutely delicious. For the second time that day Derek wanted to smack himself for being an idiot. He could be on his way to getting Stiles off right now if he wasn’t being such an insecure idiot.
“I really get it if you don’t want to rush things, Derek. If it freaks you out cause of what happened with Kate? We can go slow, if you want to do this right we can do it right. Is that what this is about?”
“Yeah,” Derek lied, hating himself for it. “That’s what this is about. Let’s just…slow things down.” Which was the opposite of what he wanted but what was he supposed to say? I’m afraid I’ll get too excited if we keep at it like this and you’ll see the beast behind the man and hate him like she did.
So in a way he wasn’t completely lying when he said it was about Kate, it just wasn’t about her the way Stiles thought it was.
The full moon was always the Hales’ favorite part of the month. It reminded them of their childhood when they would go on full moon runs with their parents and the rest of the extended family. Since their family died, Laura, Peter, and Derek would still go on runs, but it was never the same with just the three of them.
Which was why they loved running at school. There were only ten werewolves including Laura and Derek old enough to be out on the full moon, but ten was definitely better than three. For Derek, it was nice to let go and be with others of his kind, even if they were just doing stupid shit like howling and catching rabbits. It was pretty early in the night and Derek was close to the forest’s edge when he caught a familiar scent on the wind.
Stiles.
His wolf wanted to howl in delight, thinking the boy had decided to join him on his run. But what the hell was Stiles doing out on the grounds at ten on a school night?
The next scent that hit his nose held what may be the answer, the salty, sad smell of tears.
Derek howled at the scent, and he could feel Laura’s exasperated, judgmental stare on his back as he leapt out of the forest and made his way towards the smell. Well, she didn’t try to stop him so that was something.
As the scents and sounds got stronger and louder Derek began to pick up an unfamiliar heartbeat along with Stiles’. While his was calm, the other was a bit erratic. What the hell was going on?
Slowing down, he saw Stiles sitting on the ground under an arch that led to one of the castle’s courtyards…holding someone in his arms. Derek held back his growl when he heard the other person hiccup and start crying again. The voice was distinctly female, though Derek could barely understand a word the girl was saying, her words were punctuated by gasps and more hiccups and it seemed she was in hysterics.
“Shhhh, hey, Lydia it’s okay,” Stiles soothed. “He’s a total jackass and he doesn’t deserve you, but he’ll come around eventually.”
Lydia. Derek couldn’t contain it anymore. Kate’s words and his own personal worry came flooding back to him, and a growl slipped past his lips, alerting the duo to his presence as he moved towards them. Lydia immediately stopped crying, the scent coming off her changing from suffocatingly sad to scared in a half-second. Stiles tensed at first too, smelling more of apprehension than fear, but he visibly relaxed when Derek was close enough to be seen in the torchlight.
“Derek?” Stiles asked, confused, as he stood up. “Is…is that you? What are you doing here, shouldn’t you be out in the forest with all the other wolves?”
To Derek’s surprise, Stiles didn’t seem afraid of him shifted, only annoyed, probably that he’d interrupted whatever was going on between him and Lydia who he was now motioning at to go back inside.
“Me? What are you doing out here, with her?” Derek growled, cringing inwardly once the words were out. The full moon always heightened everything, especially his emotions. What jealousy he would have normally held inside was easily slipping out.
“She and Jackson have been having some relationship problems recently and they got in a huge fight tonight. Lydia doesn’t like people seeing her cry and she was kind of in hysterics so I took her out here to calm her down and talk her through it.”
He was calmer in the boy’s presence, the wolf backing down at the reassuring tone in Stiles’ voice. It was quite ironic how Stiles could bring his wolf out in some situations, but calm it in others. Derek moved forward slowly, listening to Stiles’ heartbeat and keeping tabs on his scent to be sure that Stiles wasn’t afraid of his wolf form, but stepping forward Derek paused and wrinkled his nose.
Stiles huffed and said exasperatedly, “I’m not afraid of you Derek, c’mere.” There was no lie in Stiles’ voice.
“It’s not that,” Derek said, “you smell like her,” he punctuated with another nose wrinkle. The wolf was rushing back to the surface, whining at Derek to cover the girl’s scent with his own.
“Oh, yeah,” Stiles shrugged, “well she’s kind of been crying on me for the past hour so that’s probably why.”
His human side understood completely, but his wolf was jealous and he didn’t trust himself to say in control. He backed up slowly, nodding his understanding, but he couldn’t be around Stiles much longer when he smelled like someone that Derek’s wolf perceive as a threat, even if his rational mind knew she wasn’t.
“Derek, wait. Where are you going?” Stiles was reaching out, confused and it hurt Derek to shake his head and say, “I’m sorry, I can’t. I-I, I just need to run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Turning on his heel, Derek fled into the forest like a coward.
The next day, using the full moon as an excuse, Derek skipped his Friday classes. When Laura found him mid afternoon wandering the empty corridors, she demanded to know why he was avoiding Stiles. He simply told her he was avoiding everyone. Laura just smacked his arm with a growl muttering at him to get his shit together before stalking off down the hallway.
Derek should have just talked to her about his embarrassment at his actions from the night before. That he just needed a day to himself so that he could get his bearings straight and sort through the noise in his head. He should have told her this so that she could pass the message on to Stiles so that he wouldn’t worry. But he knew that Stiles would understand once Derek talked to him about some things and just explained himself.
Or at least he hoped that Stiles would understand.
Stiles looked genuinely surprised the next morning when he saw Derek standing where they’d agreed to meet up earlier that week to walk with the rest of the school for the Hogsmeade trip. Derek forced a smile as Stiles approached with what looked like caution, and reached out to take his hand as soon as he was close enough.
“Sorry about yesterday,” he said through his smile, knowing his charade still wasn’t fooling Stiles. “The full moon can be exhausting sometimes. I just needed to rest.”
“It’s okay, that’s fine,” Stiles said softly, though he looked a little unsure.
Derek was saved by the arrival of Scott and Allison as the crowd started to move on the walk to the village. Allison offered him a small smile. Scott just glared.
Derek was quiet on the walk and though Stiles was talking easily with Scott and Allison, something still seemed off. He occasionally adjusted his grip on Derek’s hand and looked over at him, as if to make sure he was still there.
When they entered the village Stiles seemed to relax a little and asked Derek with a smile, “do you want to go to Honeyduke’s first?”
“I was thinking we could go to the Three Broomsticks first?” Derek replied. “I just…we have some things that we need to talk about.”
Stiles tensed, dropping his smile immediately, but nodded his assent and followed Derek into the tavern.
Ten minutes later found them in a small booth at the back nursing a butterbeer each, the silence growing as Derek tried to figure out where to start. When it seemed he’d finally found the right words, Stiles interrupted.
“Are you breaking up with me?”
Derek choked on the sip of his drink that he’d just taken, heart clenching at the sheer pain in Stiles’ voice.
“God, Stiles, no. Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know, you seemed really mad the other night,” Stiles said glumly, suddenly finding his mug very interesting. “And you totally ignored me yesterday. If you’re not breaking up with me are you mad at me or something? Are we fighting? Wow I must be really terrible at relationships if I’m not even aware that I’m in a fight with my boyfriend.”
“Stiles, we are not fighting. We are fine,” Derek said firmly. “I just want to talk to you about some things. Things that have to do with me. My own personal issues that I’d like to make you aware of so that I can better explain my actions on the full moon and some other things in general.”
Stiles sat, quiet for a bit, before he nodded with a, “alright, I’m all ears.”
“Between my wolf being a jealous asshole and the whole mound of issues left over from Kate, I am really insecure when it comes to relationships,” Derek began slowly, dropping his gaze to his hands. “Wolves are territorial and monogamous, but it’s no excuse for how much of a jerk I was the other night. My emotions were everywhere and I wasn’t fully in control of them. Sitting here with you now, and even the more rational part of my brain then, I know that Lydia is not a threat whatsoever. I’d like to come out and say I’m sorry about all that.”
“You’re forgiven,” Stiles said quickly and with no hesitance.
Derek smiled softly at him before continuing.
“As for my insecurities, the list is endless. But adding to the full moon fiasco, when I was with Kate she was also doing whatever she was doing with me with multiple people behind my back, not to mention the fact that she was using me. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t know that I wasn’t the only one, it’s easy to smell that kind of thing, but I guess she hid it well,” Derek paused. “That’s why when you smelled like someone else, my wolf got upset and jealous. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s hard to trust someone again after you’ve been played so badly.”
“You know you can trust me.”
“I know. And I know we’ve been together a very short time but I trust you Stiles, I do. But do you trust me? I’m a werewolf. I can’t promise I’ll be in control 24/7. I might flash my wolf eyes or pop some fangs sometimes. Is that okay with you? If it’s not I need to know, it’s not a deal breaker whatsoever. I just need to know so that I can make sure to be as careful as possible.”
“Derek I’m pretty sure I proved on the full moon that I’m not freaked out by you or your shifted form. My neighbors growing up were werewolves so I’ve been around it my whole life. You don’t have to hide that part of yourself from me,” Stiles said soothingly. “I trust you.”
Derek reached across the table to grab Stiles’ hand with a squeeze.
“I really don’t know how I got so lucky to be with you,” Derek said, fighting to keep a goofy smile off his face. “But, we’re going to do this right, okay? I want to take our time and make sure this is right, that we’re right before taking…things further. So we can’t go sneaking off every night to make out, especially on school nights. I need my beauty sleep.”
Stiles groaned. “No fair. My own boyfriend is cockblocking me, the irony. How about a compromise. We meet up in the room on weekends if we’re not doing anything else. And maybe once during the week?”
Derek pondered for a second. “Sounds like a fair deal.”
They finished their Butterbeers in companionable silence, still holding hands across the table because yes, they were going to be that couples thank you very much.
“I don’t even need to go to Honeydukes anymore,” Stiles announced when they stood to leave. “Nothing in there is sweeter than you, so what’s the point?”
“That was a really terrible pick-up line.”
“I know, and it was a lie anyways. I’m in desperate need of some sugar quills.”
When later that night Derek stopped Stiles’ hand from snaking its way into his trousers he could genuinely say this time that it was because he was going to do things right. They had all the time in the world, and Derek could take things slow.
At least for now