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She bounded across the Ketterdam rooftops, her feet barely making noise on the rough tiles of the Slat. She was in her natural habitat, above the streets of her home, and she was the most relaxed she had been in a while. Fighting slavers at sea was not easy, and she was just glad to be back.
The Wraith felt a rustle in her trouser pocket. Weird, she never carried paper around with her. She was curious and slipped her fingers into the thin folds of her pant leg, pulling out a small note. Her nimble fingers quickly unfolded it, and there was something scrawled inside.
Darling Inej,
My office, now.
Your Dirtyhands
Inej looked at the note, stunned for a few seconds, before carefully placing it in her pocket again. She would definitely be keeping this for later. Possibly pinning it to her wall. And looking at it every night before she went to sleep. Possibly.
She looked down, towards the window where Kaz sat every night. Where she came to give him what she had gathered in the day, where she came to feed the crows and talk battle plans. Where he was.
She climbed down from the rooftops with ease, hooking her feet into the gaps of mortar between the bricks. Even with all her time away from home, she still remembered what it was to be Kaz’s spider. She knew every groove in these bricks, the bumps and ridges that were strong, and those that crumbled under pressure. Just like how I know the people here, she supposed.
Reaching the windowsill, she slipped through the wide crack in the window that Kaz had left for her. How thoughtful. In the old days, she would have had to slip through the tiniest slit known to mankind, just to listen to that bastard drawl about his day and undress in front of her. Shameless, she had always thought. But now she wasn’t so sure she would object.
If only it were that easy.
The Wraith landed gracefully on Kaz’s desk, slipping off and standing to face him. Why did she feel nervous? It was just Kaz, the same old Kaz who had touched her cheek atop the Ice Court, who she promised to have without armour, or not at all.
The infamous Dirtyhands was sitting atop his perfectly-done bed, his gloved hands folded neatly in his lap. His posture looked normal enough. However, he had a twinkle in his eye that Inej had never seen before.
As soon as she looked him in the eye, Kaz started talking.
“Sit down girly I have some gossip for youuuuu~”
She stopped, and stared again, although not quite as giddy as before.
“Kaz..? Are you... okay? Are you on drugs?”
“Yass girlypop I am on drugs now lemme trauma dump!!” Kaz spoke in a higher pitched voice than usual, actually smiling at her, like an excited teenage girl.
“Okay, so remember that time I said the name Jordie?”
“Yes..?” Inej replied, confused.
“Well, he was my brother.
“And he, like, died.”
Inej sat on the desk, stunned. This wasn’t, couldn’t be Kaz.
“Oh Saints, Kaz, I’m so sorry… I don’t know what to say.” She watched him, concerned.
“Well, bestie boo, you don’t have to say anything!!! Wanna hear how he died?!”
“Well—”
“Okay, so, our dad, like, died. Something from the farm, like, fell on him. Our mum was already dead too, HAHA!”
“Wha—”
“So anyway, we went to Ketterdam. Jordie low-key got scammed and, um, we got the plague. And then he died!!”
“I’m—”
“So thennn, I also had the plague, but I recovered while getting some beauty sleep. And guess where I woke up?!?!?”
“Whe—”
“In the REAPER’S BARGE! I know, right?! And I didn’t really feel like being burnt alive, so I, like, had to swim to shore. ON MY BROTHER BODY!!!”
“Saints, Kaz! How old were you?!”
“Like, nine or ten. I don’t really care!! How do you like my trauma dump, girlie?”
“Kaz, you need to go to the hospital.”
“Why? I’m not even injured!”
“No. The mental hospital.”
“That’s so meannn, Inej!”
“SAYS YOU, BITCH!” Nina yells, storming into the room.
Inej jumped, her gaze snapping to Nina. “What’s going on up here? I heard someone talking like a merchant’s snobby daughter.”
“Don’t worry about it pookieeee, let’s talk!” Kaz exclaimed.
Inej gestured to Kaz. “That is what’s going on.”
Nina stared at Kaz, who was sitting on the bed, in utter confusion, eyebrows furrowed.
“Inej, do you know this man?”
“No, Nina, it seems I do not.” Inej’s eyes were wide and begging for help.
Suddenly, a loud click resonated through the room. The girls looked around frantically, wondering what just happened.
“Don’t worry, girlies! That was just the window locks.”
“That’s menacing…”
“Want me to continue my storyyy?”
“Not really—”
“SO! Remember when I said the name Jordie like, a while ago? Yeah. He was my brother. And he, like, died.”
Nina glanced at Inej. “Is he… okay?”
Inej shook her head, eyes wide. “I don’t think so.”
“ANYWAYS GUYS!! After that, I had to, like, swim through a lake of dead bodiesss, you know?”
“Kaz… I’m so sorry…” Nina started, but she got interrupted by the unnaturally high-pitched voice of Kaz, contrasting heavily with his usual grating rumble.
“Soo that’s where my touching issues come from!” He turned enthusiastically to Inej. “And that’s why I can’t touch you, pookie! Even though I reallyyyyy wanna.”
“Oh Saints, Inej, get me out of here!” Nina exclaimed, wincing and covering her ears.
Inej held up a finger. “Wait, I’m listening.”
“Seriously?!” Nina grumbled, wrinkling her nose as Kaz continued to rant.
“I reallyyyy wanna touch you Inej. Like, a lot. You don’t know how much I’ve thought about it—”
“NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THAT IS ENOUGH. I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE.” Nina ran to the door and frantically rattled on the door handle, begging, willing, and praying for it to open. “Please, let me out!”
“NO.”
The word echoed through the room, sending shivers down the girls’ spines. When Nina turned around, Kaz’s face had gone dark, eyes flashing with anger.
“You may NOT leave. EVER.”
Nina sank into the corner behind the door and buried her face in her hands.
“Inej, why did you even call me up here, I’m traumatised now, I just want wafflessss,” she sobbed.
“I didn’t even—”
Kaz interrupted Inej. “Yasss me too girlyyyy I’m so traumatised and hungryyy gimme some wafflesss!”
Nina pounded hard on the door, fists clenched. “JESPER! WYLAN! COME SAVE ME PLEASE! KAZ IS POSSESSED BY SOME RICH GUY’S DAUGHTER!”
Inej giggled. “That’s a very accurate description.”
“GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! HELPPP!!!”
“Wait, Nina…” Inej started, “I kind of want to hear more…”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“Yessss stay here with meeeeee,” Kaz said with a dramatised wink.
The noise of two boys’ boots stomping up the steep wooden stairs of Kaz’s office hit them like the death of one of their friends. “MY SAVIOURS!” Nina exclaimed, and went to stand up.
Jesper burst through the door, Wylan following behind him. The door hit Nina, who was just about to get up from the corner, and she cried out in pain.
The boys stood near the doorway, looking around. As soon as their eyes landed on Kaz, their whole demeanours shifted; Jesper started to grin weirdly and Wylan slumped against the wall, checking his nails.
“Ohymygosh hii Kaz, do you have some gossip for uss?” Jesper giggles.
“YESSSSS come sitttt I have the TEA!”
Kaz patted the spots on the bed next to him, doing a fake hairflip.
“I’m COMING GIRLYYYY!” Wylan squealed, and he and Jesper skipped over, very gayly, to Kaz.
Nina, who had started to look slightly hopeful, promptly started crying again. “What the hell??! Them too?! Get me out of here!”
The three boys turned their heads towards Nina, bent at an unnatural angle.
“NEVER!” they boom in unison. The sky outside rumbles with thunder as a lightning bolt splits the heavens in half. Nina and Inej hadn’t even noticed it was raining. Hard, too.
“Anyways! So I was talking about how I wanted to touch Inej, right?” Kaz brightened up, and the others immediately snapped back to normal. Nina was shaking in the corner again, blood dripping slowly from her nose from the door slamming into her face.
“I WOULD RATHER HAVE THAT DAMN DOOR HIT ME AGAIN THAN TO HEAR THIS!” Nina screamed, covering her ears, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Wylan twirled his curly hair. “Calm down, girly! This is alllll so chill, no need to worry!
“Pookie, calm DOWN!!” Jesper added unhelpfully.
“Anyways, Kaz, carry on.” Inej glanced sheepishly at Nina.
“THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN MATTHIAS DIED! LIKE, AT LEAST I KNEW WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS GOING ON THEN. WHO THE HELL HAVE POSSESSED OUR FRIENDS!??!?!?!” She looked to Inej. “AREN’T YOU CONCERNED?!”
“Umm—”
“So, Inej, weren’t you saying something?” Kaz asked cheekily.
“Oh, yeah.” Inej’s cheeks filled with colour. “Remember what I said to you on the Ferolind, Kaz? I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”
“Yess girly, that was when I first started thinking about touching youuuu”
“Oh—”
“Maybe a bit before that actuallyyyyy.”
“SERIOUSLY?!”
Jesper rolled his eyes. “Um, guys, I think we’ve talked enough about Kaz and Inej… Wanna talk about ussss?!” He clutched Wylan’s hand.
Even seemingly girlie-pop-ified, Wylan had the decency to look slightly embarrassed.
However, not embarrassed enough.
“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS POOKIEEE!! LETS DO IT JESSIEEEEEEEE” Wylan squealed.
“Hopefully this will be better than Kaz going on about touching Inej,” Nina mumbled.
“Soo, the first time we touched each other was—”
“NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Nina collapsed on the spot.
Everyone stared at Nina, seemingly dead on the floor.
“Oops. My bad, I guess,” Jesper whispered.
Just then, Nina woke up, surrounded by a bright light. In the distance, she spied a silhouette. That looks familiar. Almost like…
“Matthias?”
He turned towards her, grinning from ear to ear. Nina’s vision blurred as she stumbled towards him, laughing in disbelief. Before she could reach him, however, he started to speak.
“HEYYY GIRLYPOP!!!! So I, like, died. Sorry about that pookieeee!”
Nina stopped abruptly, shock and horror written all over her face. A single tear ran down her apple cheeks.
“No…” she whispered. “No… No! NO!”
Matthias cocked his head, a confused expression clouding his beautiful face. “What’s wrong, pookie?”
“No! Stop talking!” She covered her mouth, stifling a sob. “Not my Matthias too! Take me back, please! I can’t take this anymore!”
The light rapidly disappeared, and Nina jerked awake, knocking her head against the corner wall. She was slumped in the same position she had passed out in, and she now looked around dazedly, rubbing her eyes. Kaz was still talking to Jesper, Wylan, and Inej, who were all listening intently, and Nina was relieved to not have heard the word ‘touch’ again. However…
“So, when I touched…”
“NO. FUCK NO. NO. NO. I’M LEAVING!” Nina jumped up, slamming her poor abused head into the thick door handle.
“OUCH! I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!” she yelled, and went to open the door.
“NO!!!” the boys (and Inej this time too) screamed.
Nina heard Matthias’s disembodied, frightful girly voice in her head. “If you hate your life, you could always join me pookieeee!”
Nina jumped out of the window.
Inej jumped out of her seat. “WHAT NOOO! NINA!!”
She jumped out of the window after Nina.
Kaz, Wylan and Jesper all looked to each other. “Um…”
“Well, they’re gone.”
“Let’s keep talking?”
“Of course!”
Meanwhile, Inej quickly descends the wall, hooking onto the small nooks and crannies etched into the stone. Usually, she tended to climb upwards, but this time was different.
Three metres from the ground, she jumped, crouching to manage the impact and tucking into a small roll. She quickly jumped up and sprinted to where she knew Nina would be: the most famous waffle shop in Ketterdam.
Sure enough, as she walked in she saw Nina, battered and bruised, sobbing into her usual nutella-sprinkle-chocolate-marshmallow-maplesyrup waffles. She peered closer and found that Nina was… talking to them?
“I hate this, I hate this so much. You’re the only one who understands me, waffles. Even Matthias has turned into a… a… GIRLYPOP!!” Nina wailed loudly, triggering some very concerned looks from customers around.
Nina took a large bite of her waffle, tears trickling down her cheeks and into her bowl. “At least you taste good. Salty…”
Inej walked up to Nina, slipping into the seat across from her. Nina looked up and smiled weakly, tears still running down her face.
“Hey Nina, I’m so sorry. I didn't know you would be so traumatised.”
“It’s okay, I guess… but the worst part wasn’t even Kaz!”
“What was it then?” Inej asked.
“When I fainted, I saw Matthias. And… and…”
“And what?”
“And, Inej… HE WAS A GIRLYPOP TOO!” Nina promptly started bawling again.
Back at the Slat, the three boys were sitting in a circle on Kaz’s floor, each immersed in the conversation.
“So, as I was saying…”