Chapter Text
Aika was a fully formed menace at the mere age of two and a half. Good for her, her parents loved every piece and bit of her to even be mad. However, it didn't mean that being nine-to-five sorcerers on active duty and being full-time parents did not get tiring.
Satoru Gojo was well aware that most of Aika's stress-inducing and disastrous habits were a direct result of his genes. His gene pool was generous while contributing every terrorising trait from the Gojo clan in the creation of her. It was all his fault, in simple words. Aika, after all, was an exact carbon copy of him anyway.
All it took him was one exhausting evening to realise that his wife may have been taking the brunt of it the most.
"Don't get me wrong, I love Aika. But enjoying every second of child-raising is impossible." She mumbled into the pillow, hair awry and cheeks red. Gojo tucked a hand under her, running a thumb over her shoulder softly.
"I thought having a house filled with kids was all about the joy of creation and love."
Utahime scoffed. "Anyone with siblings would disagree."
What would Gojo know? He was an only child. And at this rate, Aika was soon to become one, as well.
Maybe all they needed was a well-deserved break, Gojo thought as he looked at his wife's eyes drooping closed, fatigue from the day lulling her into sleep. From supervising students to taking missions to ensuring Aika manages to survive another day, it must be an extra heavy toll for her. So was it for him, if he were to be honest.
"You must be tired all the time, huh?" he spoke gently into her hair, fingers stroking her nape. Utahime hummed contentedly into the crook of his neck.
"The kids run me ragged. Gakuganji-san isn't kind with my workload, either. Todo almost skipped a mission for his idol fan meetup. The kids—their midterms are coming up, but no one is taking it seriously enough…"
"I thought I told that old codger to stop piling up your assignments."
"You mean threatened?"
"Is that what he told you?" He asked, scandalised in a way only he could sound.
"It was self-evident. He always asks for his tea extra bitter when you manage to piss him off." Utahime sighed, "which is every single time you meet him."
"Bullshit. I was the nicest to him that day. I even said I'd spare his life if he'd let you come home an hour early."
"Yeah. He took very kindly to your generosity." Utahime exasperated and wriggled around to face away from him, her back against his chest. Gojo used this as an opportunity to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer.
"'Hime," He whined into her neck. "Let's go out this weekend."
"Funny," She huffed and closed her eyes. "I'm tired, Satoru. Go to sleep."
"I'm dead serious. When was the last time we went on a date? Or did something fun?"
"We went trekking last month. That was loads of fun."
"With Aika. I had to carry her for three-fourths of the trip."
"Trekking is good for her. How else would she grow up connected to nature?"
"Not quite good for my back, though." Her hair smelled something like tropical and Mango, making him frown against her nape. He didn't even realise she'd changed her shampoo, which is a shame because he always made sure to run her hair products dry whenever she brought herself new ones. They've really been pushing themselves to the limit, huh?
"We also went on that faculty picnic." She said softly.
"Yeah. Kusakabe's grumbling and Ijichi's squabbling almost made that trip memorable if only Gaku hadn't joined. Ruined the whole experience, never recommending again."
"Hmm…" Utahime's hand came up behind to run through his hair, making him sigh against her skin. "We also went on that Parent-Child playdate to Aika's friend's house from the daycare."
"Disastorous." He mumbled, eyebrows weighing down with a frown. "I don't think that boy has good intentions."
"That boy is Aika's friend. And he's one year old."
"Exactly. I don't want Aika being around someone half her age."
"Satoru, they're both babies."
"Don't care. And I'm pretty sure the dad was hitting on you."
Utahime paused her ministrations on his scalp and turned to face him. "His wife was hitting on you."
Gojo gasps. "See what I mean? We should cancel the next playdate."
Utahime sighed weakly, as if accepting her ill-brought fate. "You're turning your daughter into an unsociable threat to society like yourself."
"Pah," He says, kissing a spot behind her ear and snuggling his face closer. "Everyone is going to love her as they love you."
"I do consider myself her only saving grace."
"But seriously, 'Hime," He began again and lifted himself on his forearm to look at her, his voice dimming a fraction. "We should go out this weekend. No stupid faculty picnic, no family outing, no playdate, but a real date. Without Aika. Just us."
"So you don't love your daughter."
"I know you get attachment anxiety from staying away from her—"
"You're the one to talk, Mr Calls-every-five-minutes-to-see-what-my-daughter 's-doing," Utahime interrupted.
"—and I know you don't want her feeling left out, but how long has it been since we've got any time to ourselves? Just the two of us. Trust me when I say this, Aika wouldn't want her beloved parents drifting apart."
"We're not drifting apart, Satoru. We're just tired. And busy."
"Aika wouldn't like overworked hyper-caffinated parents either. C'mon, 'Hime, it's just the weekend. We leave early on Friday and get back Sunday evening. We'll have someone look after Aika."
"Maybe. Perhaps she needs a chance of space too." Utahime wonders out loud. See? It's working. His charm, he means.
"But whose will she stay over at?" Utahime turned over suddenly, throwing an unexpected question he hadn't thought of yet.
"Uhh…A babysitter?" He said, uncertainty in his voice clear.
"Like I'd ever trust a stranger to look after your child and come back in one piece." Utahime scoffed out loud, rolling her eyes. "Your parents?"
"No. They'll corrupt her." Gojo said in a matter-of-fact tone. Utahime doesn't question it. "How about your parents?"
"Why do my parents have to do everything? They live cities away, Satoru."
"Alright," he began, careful not to piss her off further and ruin his chances of a lovely couple's trip. "Shoko."
"She'll feed her antiseptic instead of baby formula. Nanami-kun?"
"Poor guy needs a vacation himself. Mei Mei is unstable, Kusakabe would never say yes, Ijichi is scared of Aika and…"
"Yaga-sensei?" Utahime tried.
"The principal…" clearly told him he won't be babysitting Aika after she chewed off his most prized raccoon cursed doll. But Utahime cannot know he's been dropping Aika off at Yaga's during his impromptu missions. She'd throttle him dead, the father of her child be damned. "…wouldn't like that. He said he doesn't like kids."
"He's an educator." Utahime deadpanned, but he cut her in swiftly.
"And he's not pleased at becoming a grandpa at fifty. Next."
Utahime hums beside. "One of the kids, maybe? Yuji?"
"Sukuna's a threat. Who's that nice girl with the bangs in your class?"
"Miwa? She's out of town to meet her family. Shame, she has experience caring for her little siblings. Fushiguro?"
"I think we're dumping everything Aika-related on him. He will retaliate. Megumi didn't choose to become an older brother. Little siblings are quite content staying little." Gojo was not ashamed to say he had been making Megumi run errands for Aika since she popped up in that hospital. "Witch-girl?"
"I don't think Nishimiya is fit for the job. She's never changed a diaper in her life. Yuuta, perhaps?"
"Far too gullible. He could never resist Aika's demands. And you know how she gets when she really wants something." A monster, that is. She inherited that for him, too, for anyone wondering. "Gorilla man."
"Todo isn't good company. God knows what new vocabulary she learns every time he's around."
"They are Takada-chan's song lyrics."
"How did you know—"
"Anyways," Gojo dodged the question yet again. "Roboguy."
"Mechamaru isn't capable of handling a child either. He's scared of them." Utahime gladly didn't question further. "Panda?"
"No animals in the house. Kamo dude."
"Noritoshi also doesn't know how to take care of children. Being an heir has its privileges, it seems. Inumaki?"
"She'd be talking about food she isn't allowed to eat."
"Okay then, how about Maki?"
"Nah," Gojo said before he could think. An easy no-brainer. "She would stab me if I asked her to take care of my kid. She can only be around one Gojo per day. Didn't Maki have a sister?"
"Mai?" Utahime raised an eyebrow, before her face erupted with an afterthought of a wonderful culmination. "Oh, she's perfect! She has experience from looking after younger kids in her clan, and Aika took a liking to her the last time I took her with me. I think she's available too." Her hands curled around his arm as she gazed at him. "Although…her taking care of Aika alone for two days…"
If her parents could hardly manage to keep her alive (with one of them titled as the strongest sorcerer, mind you), can one lone teenager ensure their daughter's body stays intact by the end of the week?
"Perhaps, I have one person in mind who could help." Gojo's lips curled into a smile that usually showed up when his brain was cooking something that smelled like calamity and wickedness mashed together. If Utahime noticed it, she said nothing. Some things are better left undiscovered.
"Do I know this person?"
"One of my blessed students. You should know them." Gojo tapped her nose, to which she huffed and turned away again, fed up.
"You think all your students are blessed."
"Traits of a great teacher. Pity you don't."
"Excuse me? I think all my students have substantial potential to work with—"
"Yada yada yada—where are we going? I know, Utahime. Let's go to Hawaii."
Grumbling, Utahime settled back down. Gojo takes his place behind her again, charming her into talking. "An onsen." She said.
"Okay, Hokkaido it is."
"We've been there plenty of times before. We're going to Kagoshima."
"That's…" he began, the unfortunate realisation that his backfired plan dawning upon him. "is quite close to your hometown." And he doesn't like the sound of that.
"I know. We can drop by my parents' place on the way."
Now, he didn't anticipate that happening. He'd rather have no holiday than a holiday with his in-laws. "Actually, we should go there when we take Aika along! Mrs Iori would be devastated if we didn't bring her beloved granddaughter—"
"No, just us is fine. Plus, Papa said he wanted to talk to you about something, but he can't do it with kids around. Now's the perfect time. And I brought Mama that tea set from Aomori, it's only collecting dust around the corner…"
She mumbled on, but Gojo had already started to tune her voice out. A talk with the old senile fossil Utahime called 'Father' was a way to ruin a romantic getaway. Can't a man just ask for a weekend with his wife alone without it being interrupted by every excuse on earth sent to stop it?
"Now that I realise, Mai is not ideal for this job. I think we should think it over."
"Please." Utahime mumbled tiredly into her pillow. "Mai is the only choice we have. And she'll never turn down the offer to look after Aika. She loves babies, and she's responsible enough. She's perfect."
"I love the trust you put in your students, but perhaps—"
"It's final. You and I are going to Kagoshima to relax while Aika has fun with her older sister."
"Honey—"
"Sleep." Was all she said.
Gojo let his head fall onto the pillow beside her, cradling her form close. He was quite aware that his usual ideas came with a lot of consequences, but out of all the abstract visualisations he boils, this has to be by far the worst one.
"And keep your hands to yourself, or I'm cancelling the trip."
Utahime's warning fingers pinched the back of his hand which was finding its sweet way down south, quickly resulting in a complaining whine from him as he nuzzled his nose further into her neck.
"So I can make you change your mind if I don't listen?"
"Yes. I'll cancel the onsen trip and we'll just go visit my parents."
Gojo promptly ceased his exciting venture and brought his hand up again.
"Fuck." He said under his breath.
In contrast to the preconceived notions that her teacher had of her, Mai did not like children. In fact, she loathed them.
Her expertise on babies was her only explanation for her unbearable dislike towards them. She didn't get swayed around by their antics which many people found too adorable to shun. She didn't feel the inescapable, urgent need to coo at a baby or pinch their cheeks or grab them from underneath their armpits and juggle them around. She had suffered through the groundwork. She knew enough about children to sate her curiosity and pray not to be around them.
However like a spoilsport she may sound, but even Mai had the self-awareness to admit that the child she was tasked to take care of was rather cute. The kid looked like a Cherub had physically materialised one day and made this place its home. Unsurprisingly, the child had inherited everything from her father, save the colour of her hair. Which is why when she waddled up in front and blinked up at her with her baby blues, Mai felt as bland as Utahime sensei's taste in men.
"Aika-chan," Utahime sensei was crouched down beside her, as her daughter inspected Mai with a curious stare. "Do you remember Mai-nee-chan from school?"
Aika blinked at her once, then twice, and then stuck her honey-covered fingers in her mouth, losing interest faster than Todo's attention span whenever Gakuganji started talking. Which was quite a considerable feat since Todo either has a laser-point focus when the topic at hand is about his favourite celebrity Idol or the concentration of a goldfish at any other given time of the day.
Utahime just laughed and picked her up, where the kid settled comfortably in her arms. "I'm sure she remembers you. She just doesn't see you quite often—give her some time, and she'll be attached to you like a third arm in no time."
"That sounds…" horrifying. It was a sentence so horrifying that Mai swore she could feel the wetness in her mouth evaporate. "Sounds like we'll be best friends before you know it. Makes my job easier, doesn't it?"
Aika just continued to blink. Then she took her fingers out from her mouth and grabbed the front of her mother's dress with them, tugging for attention.
"You see, she's a bit shy around people at first," Utahime said as she bent down to set Aika on her feet, and she went bounding away towards the kitchen. "But she warms up fast enough. You'll have plenty of time to get to know one another."
"I hope so too, sensei," Mai replied, her eyes trailing behind the kid in the kitchen as she peered around curiously at the cabinets. The kitchen counter was lined with meal prep Utahime had done the day prior to last as long as Mai would be here.
"Oh, and you won't be alone, of course. One of Gojo sensei's students is coming over to help as well."
In all her seventeen years of existence, Mai had handled more clan brats than an average babysitter had, and she wasn't even paid for it. Even if it was Utahime sensei's baby, she could've managed great by herself.
"It's fine, I suppose. As long as it's not that knuckle-head dead boy or Fushiguro."
Or the strange talking panda and his cursed speech user friend. Or her sister. Or that mangled-looking wannabe she would rather not think about. If she were the one Mai was paired up with to look after what might be a toddler-sized natural disaster, she swore she would sell her sensei's baby off.
"Oh, and, don't mind the dog." Her teacher said with unease, as if the presence of a canine in her house was the most mortifying affair of the day. "Gojo-sensei said that his student will take care of that entirely alone. Typically, when we can't find a dog sitter, we just let Fushiguro handle him, but given how many times we've relied on him…I think he's done with us."
Mai wasn't surprised one bit, hearing that. You see, growing up in a clan like the Zen'in, she had quite a narrow perception of the world, which had only recently managed to broaden a bit. To her, the fact that a high authority clan figure like Gojo carrying the expenses of the child of a rival clan traitor, especially one with a prized technique like Fushiguro's, seemed just like an average asshole political move. Making a lowborn bastard child perform free labour was nothing new. But assumptions often differed from reality, for she had no idea that Megumi was invited to dinner every Thursday and treated like a family member nevertheless, whether he liked it or not. And just like any member of the family, Megumi had his set of chores to do, even if he didn't live with them.
Mai could only be thankful that at least Utahime sensei had offered to pay for her services. She was planning to buy that skirt Momo senpai had shown her weeks back.
"Ah! And also, Aika's dietary habits are a bit—Aika? Oh, where did she go—there! Aika, no, don't touch that—," Mai watched as her teacher rushed to the kitchen to berate her daughter about touching things not meant for her in her own baby-proofed home, but knowing to whom half the child belonged to, she had absolutely no faith that the kid wouldn't hurt herself even if placed in a room with no furniture whatsoever.
"Look at yourself," she said, bending down to Aika's level, fingers smoothing over her shirt. The pastel blue had patches of dark stains over the front, a glistening trail of honey leaking from the corners of her mouth. "You got yourself all dirty again. I just changed you out of your pyjamas, Aika."
To ease her mother's distressed sighs, Aika peered down at her shirt to assess the damage she had done, and decided on an answer.
"Honey." the toddler said.
"Yes, honey. Lots of it. All down your front. Now you're dirty."
"Dirty?" Aika stared at her shirt in wonder, pinching the fabric between her forefingers. "Honey dirty? Mama?"
"No, baby. You're dirty." Another weary sigh escaped Utahime, and it wasn't even ten in the morning. Aika was gathered up in her mother's arms again as she continued wondering just what was dirty about honey.
"Lookie here!" came a loud, infuriating voice of that undeserving shit eating big-backed husband of her teacher. Gojo Satoru sauntered in like an uninvited ball reeking of ego as he was, acting like he owned the place. (Which, in legal terms, he did.)
"Who is this? Whose baby is this? Gross." He grinned down at the child in his wife's arms (his wife, Mai thinks in bafflement, the shock over the announcement of their relationship hadn't managed to wear off yet), pinching her cheeks. "Utahime, whose dirty baby is this?"
"Aika." Aika answered plainly.
"Noooo, you're not Aika. Aika-chan isn't yucky."
"Aika." She repeated, and smacked her chest. Whinned and hid her face away when her father (her father, Mai thinks through her disgust, the shock over this man fathering a fully functioning child hadn't managed to wear off either) tried to pinch her cheeks once more.
"I'll have to get her to change again." Utahime said wearily, swatting her husband's (her husband, Mai thinks this time, with a tinge of pity. The shock over the fact that her level-headed sensei would choose this man as a life partner also hadn't managed to wear off) hand when he went to trouble their daughter some more.
"Don't pout." He told the sulking child, who had hid her face in her mother's neck, smearing honey from her cheeks onto her mother's shoulder. "You made yourself look bad in front of Maki-san's twin. That's what naughty children get for being naughty."
"No." Aika shook her head.
"Hah. She's in her no-phase right now. You know, kids." Gojo shrugged, and even though he wasn't looking at her, Mai knew the comment was directed to her. Mai decided she wasn't going to be polite enough to give an answer.
Mai, if no one noticed yet, had a fierce and unmistakable disdain for Satoru Gojo, a sentiment that had only deepened over time. She clearly remembered the fateful day during her first year’s Goodwill Event when the idiotic Tokyo teacher swaggered through the gates with his band of misfit students. It all started when he brazenly dismissed her identity, continuing to relegate her as 'Maki's younger sister'. Her anathema only grew since then, flared up and doubled when she discovered that this insufferable pathetic excuse of a man had the audacity to set his sights—and hands—on her esteemed and pragmatic sensei.
But no amount of her scorn for him had stopped her sensei from falling victim to that agonising man's love trap. And now she was caged in a soulless marriage with an ungrateful child and a dense man who was nothing even close to what she deserved.
"Alright, time to get you dressed. Satoru, tell Mai the rest. I'll be back." She said as Aika was carried to the inner sanctum of the house. Gojo gave Utahime's retreating form a weak salute as his eyes fell over to her. Mai gave him her nastiest glare, which bounced off his infinity like any other thing flung his way.
"So," He began, rubbing his hands together, the start of something fishy. "You're Maki's younger sister."
There, he did it again. Like she didn't have a name. And she was sure he was privy to her and her sister's prickly relationship, yet he brings it up with no consequence.
"No, we're second cousins." Mai replied coolly.
"Hah! You're funny. I like you. Your twin hardly has any patience for my humour."
"Well, twins have a lot in common."
"Hmm, you're just like what 'Hime described."
He dropped the nickname in the conversation like a bomb. Mai refused to flinch.
"I think you'll get along great with my student."
"You haven't paired me up with Maki, have you? I'll let you know that your daughter wouldn't come out of it unscathed." Mai warned, casually picking her nails. Gojo let out a low whistle, holding up his hands in surrender.
"Sorry to disappoint, but Maki would rather eat grass than get near anything that resembles me. But fear not, you will be around someone you'd manage to get along well with. It's the least I can do."
"You're doing this for your daughter." Mai clarified.
"I'm doing this for the sake of peace."
"I don't understand."
"You will." His lips curled into a wicked smile as Gojo pulled back his sleeve to check his watch. "In approximately twenty seconds."
"Satoru!" Utahime sensei called down from the hallway. "Where is her onesie?"
"Which one? The dragon or the orange one?" Gojo yelled back as Mai stood there, utterly confused. Just what did he mean by that?
"The pink one! With the shark patterns?"
"Oh yeah, check in the sock drawer in the wardrobe!"
"What do you mean by twenty seconds?"
"Satoru! This isn't washed! Ugh, where is the other one?"
"Don't stress yourself out too much, honey! Check in the walk-in closet!" He cried and then looked back at her, pointing towards the door. "Let's look out for that for me, 'kay? My students' in the elevator."
"I can't find—Aika! We don't put socks in our mouths—"
Gojo pulled back his sleeve, then stepped back from the door. "Any second now…and she's here!"
As if on cue, the doorbell rang sharp. Gojo, with that hundred-watt smile on his face, opened the door in greeting. "You came!" He cheered merrily, as if the possibility of them arriving was a pearl at a great price.
The person in the doorway was short, easily dwarfed by Gojo's height, but their voice rang loud and dominant, drowning out the muttering complaints of her teacher and the distant barks coming from the other side of the room.
A familiar, grating voice Mai instantly recognised, because who else would speak in a false Tokyo dialect layered over an obvious country slang, which despite their best efforts to hide, peeked through the sophisticated lingo, breaking the impression of the calm city girl and making certain words stand out like a sore thumb. Who else could such a loud, boisterous, irritating voice belong to if not…
"It is I!" Declared the visitor, her finger raising in the air like a salute.
"Kugisaki!" Gojo yelled in joy, spreading his arms as if to embrace his favourite, most ridiculously insufferable student, like she had just come out of a war field. "I missed you!"
"I most certainly did not. Now, where is she? Answer me sensei. I have a job to do."
Mai smoothed out the wrinkle in her skirt, clearly knowing where this conversation was going to. This conversation was going backwards and she was going home.
"Looks like someone's excited for work," Gojo said from the doorway. His body still shielded Mai from the other girl's vision, if she weren't already aware of her presence.
Something unnamed and vitriol rose up Mai's throat, listening to the mull of conversation between that orange-headed dwarf and her idiot Sensei. The memory of their first encounter flashed through her mind, the stuttering pulse under the skin of her neck, the life-theartening glare sent to her face after.
Of all people.
Of course it had to be her.
If she left now, she could avoid this entirely. No pointless conversation, no sharp tongue snapping at her heels, no—
"Kugisaki," Gojo sing-songed, rocking slightly on his heels. "Patience is a virtue."
"Patience is for people who have time," Kugisaki shot back immediately. "I don't. Where. Is. She."
Each word was punctuated like a nail being driven into wood. Mai exhaled slowly through her nose. This was ridiculous. As much as she respected, heck, even adored Utahime sensei, she is not willing to deal with this.
Since her well of bad luck had apparently filled over the rim and flooded, Gojo shifted, just slightly, just enough. And that was all it took.
Nobara Kugisaki leaned sideways, peering past him—and saw her. Silence snapped into place. For a fraction of a second, Nobara didn’t move, neither did she. Her eyes, brown, lined with dark wings of lashes curled crescent, widened just barely but enough to crack through that usual sharp, unbothered expression.
Recognition hit first, swiftly followed by a disappointed wave of disbelief. Then something louder, messier, a personification of her, something that looked a lot like panic.
"You?!"
The word tore out of her, sharp and unfiltered. Mai stiffened, lip curling inward, eyebrows weighed downward by disgust, annoyance, excitement, who knew?
Nobara staggered a half-step forward, then stopped herself just as abruptly, like she’d run into an invisible wall. Her gaze darted, up, down, back to Mai’s face again, searching, confirming, rejecting all at once.
"No—wait, what are you doing here?!"
And just like that, the room exploded.