Work Text:
“It must be hard asking everybody to… y’know...”
“Actually, it isn’t.”
Eva Stratt had never understood philosophy. She remembers having to take an introductory course during her undergraduate studies, in which she was forced to read the opinions of a seemingly infinite lineup of deceased old men. A man walks backwards out of a cave into the light. People discuss whether a just man is more satisfied than an unjust man. Is there a god?
Philosophy is ultimately useless. Eva would much rather focus on actually accomplishing tasks rather than sitting around and debating their efficacy.
But, recently, a philosophical question has been bothering her, despite her attempts to completely ignore it until it goes away. Which is a shame. She thought she was very good at compartmentalizing. Perhaps, even, the best in the world.
Does the end justify the means?
In the original Latin: Cum finis set licit, etiam media sunt licita. Or: When the end is lawful, the means are also lawful.
In other words, yes. The end is justified, so the means are as well.
She’s saving the entire goddamn planet. There couldn’t possibly be a more justified end than that. Plato can go fuck himself.
But as Eva stands in the middle of Ryland Grace’s small apartment, she finds she can no longer ignore this particular philosophical debate.
The apartment is small. Almost suffocating. She thinks, abruptly, that means he might be comfortable in the Hail Mary. She made sure the Hail Mary was as large as possible, with enough room to ensure privacy when needed. But still, it’s a spaceship built rather hastily and hobbled together in orbit – it’s not that spacious.
Despite the fact the Ryland hasn’t lived here full-time since officially joining the Project, his apartment is clearly well lived in. Well loved. An IKEA dining table cluttered with binders, a half-finished papier mache Jupiter, and a single empty spot for a plate. A couch which Eva thinks Ryland must have picked up off the side of a road, with a hand knit blanket draped over the back. A small television, not even flat screen.
She can at least pack the blanket for him, and the ‘Don’t Go Crazy’ room on the Mary will certainly be an upgrade, entertainment wise. That, and every other piece of media known to mankind that Eva has liberated for the Hail Mary crew – justified end, justified means, justified pirating.
Eva opens every cabinet, every drawer, every closet. Ryland is very messy, though she already knew that. Hopefully Yao will be able to keep him organized. Hopefully Ilyukhina won’t compound the effect.
There are no photos.
Did Eva ever take a photo with Ryland? No, probably not. There haven’t exactly been opportunities for it, beyond the occasional press conference. She doesn’t think Ryland will want one of those. Too awkward. And too likely to trigger his memory.
And there’s another question. Does Eva believe Ryland’s current hatred of her will persuade him to completely ruin the mission? Not at all. Because Ryland Grace is a good person and an even better scientist, despite his own perceptions. But she’s already dropped a nuclear bomb on the bridge between them, so she might as well go all the way and absolutely ensure the mission’s safety.
Ryland will understand. Once he’s in orbit around Tau Ceti and there’s a problem to solve, he’ll understand.
Eva knows he will.
So why is she crying in an empty apartment?
Does the end justify the means? Of course it does.
One man’s life is not worth more than an entire planet. Even if that man is, begrudgingly, one of the best friends she’s ever had. Even if that man is uniquely kind and brilliant and capable of lighting up every single room he walks into.
Eva has never seen the so-called Trolley Problem as a problem. If it means saving eight billion people, she will certainly murder three. Why do philosophers think that’s even a question?
She’s just having a more difficult time stomaching the fact that one of those three must be Ryland Grace. She’s never met someone more deserving of a happy life. A happy life that she has just stolen from him. Or, rather, that she stole from him all those months ago when she first told him about the Astrophage, for him to never return to his classroom again.
For the first time in over a year, Eva Stratt cries. She sinks to her knees on a matted carpet floor and allows the stress of saving a planet, and the grief of sacrificing a friend, to overwhelm her. For just a few minutes, she allows herself to feel completely, purely, human.
The end justifies the means. She’s saving the world. She’s killing her best friend, against his will. Sending him to die far from home. She’s saving the world.