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She can feel Jhoanna staring at her from the desk she's been sitting at for the last half hour. It doesn't usually bother Aiah, being on the receiving end of an intense Jhoanna Robles gaze. Usually, it makes her feel sexy, wanted, and loved. Now it just makes her feel nervous, uneasy, and uncomfortable. She doesn't like it. She doesn't like that she doesn't like it. Their dynamic is all off. She guesses that's what an hour long argument will do to a relationship. And that's what they've been doing. Arguing. Fighting. Yelling. Some things may have been thrown. And now, just silence.
Aiah can't even remember what is was they were fighting about, which somehow makes it worst. All of this over something that wasn't even important enough to remember. She just wants it to be over. She wants to kiss and make-up. Kiss and make-out. Whatever it is that couples do to signify the fight was over. She just really wants this to be over.
Aiah looks down at her hands, playing with the threads of her favorite throw blanket that somehow ended up draped over her legs. She wants to laugh when she remembers why it was her favorite in the first place. It was Jhoanna's. She left it with Aiah when she had to go to Bali with her parents. She said it was to comfort her if she missed her. Aiah tried to dissuade her, thinking it was silly. She was only going to be gone for the weekend. She wasn't that clingy. She could last a weekend. In the end, she wanted to yell at Jhoanna for leaving it, because she did need it, but it made her miss Jhoanna more. It smelt like her and every time she closed her eyes she was engulfed in a scent that was wholly her girlfriend. It was like she was there, but she wasn't and it was honestly the most frustrating three days of her life.
She looks at the clock on her bedside table, two-thirty in the morning. She sighs. She can't handle this anymore. She's not good at this. This, fighting with your significant other thing. She doesn't really have any experience. With Mikha, if she even counts, any...misunderstanding they had, ended fairly quickly. Aiah was in love with Mikha, but she would never chance getting on her bad side. Their entire relationship was based on things left unsaid. Her experience leaves a lot to the imagination.
Besides, Jhoanna is different. Anything Aiah did learn from her previous relationships, wouldn't work on her. Any bad side Jhoanna has, hurts herself, not Aiah. And Jhoanna is the definition of wearing you heart on your sleeve. Anything she feels, she expresses. Whether on purpose or not. There wasn't any room for anything to be left unsaid. As for breaking up...Aiah doesn't even want to think about it.
Aiah chances a glance at her girlfriend. She's still staring. Unmoving. Aiah quickly looks away, frustrating herself even more. When did she become the one who couldn't hold a gaze. She sighs, throwing herself back on her bed. Never has she ever wanted the ability to read minds more. Or at the least, body language. Anything really, to tell her what's going on in that thick, stubborn head of her girlfriend's. Just some kind of sign, a hint, something.
Aiah huffs, getting up from her bed simply because she didn't know what else to do. She was getting antsy. There are too many things in her head and no words coming out of her mouth. She paces back at forth at the foot of her bed, trying desperately to clear her mind. Ugh. She can't be here anymore. The tension is suffocating her.
She hurries to her bedroom door, needing to get out of there as quickly as possible. She gets the door open an inch or two, before it's quietly closed by someone who isn't her. Jhoanna. Aiah isn't sure how she didn't hear her move or feel her presence behind her before this very second. She's usually more in tune with her girlfriend. But it doesn't matter because she feels her now. All over her. All around her. And Jhoanna isn't even touching her.
"Jhoanna" she breathes before she can stop herself. Her voice sounds so foreign to her. Whether from the lack of use or the tone, she's not sure.
"Bubs, I'm sorry okay. I'm so sorry." Jhoanna's breath is hot on her neck and her voice is husky in her ear and it's all just too distracting. So it takes Aiah a minute to realize she's apologizing to her. But eventually the words sink in and she turns around, pushing Jhoanna's hands away from the door and bringing them down around her waist.
"No, I'm sorry. I don't even know what we were fighting about" she says. And quite frankly, she didn't really care at this point. She just wants to go back to being annoyingly in love and touchy feely and she wants to flaunt it in front of the world and have all her friends be quietly (sometimes not so quietly) jealous of them. She wants everything to be normal again.
"Some girl-"
Aiah throws a hand over her mouth because now she remembers what the fight was about. Some girl was flirting with Jhoanna at a party they were at. Right in front of her. And Jhoanna didn't do anything, she just let her. But really, if Aiah's being honest, that wasn't what made her angry, that was just Jhoanna, she wouldn't know flirting if it fell on her and felt her up, which is what that girl did...and that's what pissed her off. It was obvious to anyone that Jhoanna was taken, by her nonetheless. For whatever reason, as soon as they arrived, Jhoanna was all over her, touching her whenever necessary, sometimes when it really wasn't. Kissing her, small pecks, open mouthed ones, with tongue, without, lip biting...just kissing her and she didn't seem to care who saw. Not that she did any other time, but at the party it was like she was...ohmygod.
"Did you know her?" Aiah asks, pulling away a little so she could look at Jhoanna. Her jealous girlfriend senses were tingling. And with the way Jhoanna freezes, wide-eyed. Aiah already knows she’s not wrong.
"No..."
Aiah raises a skeptical eyebrow.
"Well, yes, but I don't know her name or anything. I just know her from work and she's always around, always." Jhoanna pauses" I don’t think she’s into girls…I’m not sure."
Aiah smacks her on the arm, "Of course she's into girls or at the least, she's bi." Aiah shakes her head, it didn't matter what she was. "She was flirting with you at that party, probably has been all this time...when she's always around."
"No, I don't think-"
"Jhoanna! She damn near grabbed your boob, she was flirting with you."
"But why would-"
"Because you're sexy and funny and you have the biggest heart and..." Aiah stops to look at Jhoanna, she really didn't have a clue. "How can you be so oblivious?"
Jhoanna shrugs, "I don't look in the mirror every morning and say 'damn I'm sexy,' do you?"
Aiah laughs at that, "I meant the flirting, dummy."
Jhoanna shrugs again, "I don't pay attention to anyone else" she pulls Aiah closer, "Just you bubs."
Aiah sighs, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against Jhoanna's. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Just love me please" Jhoanna whispers, a small pout in her voice.
"What about all the other girls that want to love you hmmm?" She's only half-joking.
Jhoanna pulls her head away, making Aiah open her eyes. "I don't care about them."
"I know, I just-"
Jhoanna kisses her, smiling when she pulls away. "Bubs, I don't care about them."
"Yeah, but..." she pulls away before Jhoanna can kiss her again. "I don't like girls flirting with you bubby ko, it's...annoying."
Jhoanna chuckles, "I don't like when girls flirt with you and we both know it happens to you more than it does to me."
"It doesn't matter how often it happens, it shouldn't."
"What can we do?"
"Hmm..." Aiah stops to seriously contemplate the question. "How do you feel about a tattoo on your head that says, 'Property of Aiah Arceta'?" she jokes because she doesn't really know what they can do. Maybe it's just something she'd have to get used to.
"Would you be getting one that has my name on it?" Jhoanna ask her, her voice even and serious.
"I don't know if I'd be able to pull it off."
"You can pull anything off."
Aiah smirks, "Can I pull your clothes off and kiss you right now. Talking about this has gotten me all hot and bothered." Which is kind of true, but she mostly just doesn't want to be talking about this anymore.
"You can pull anything off." Jhoanna says again, smirking back.
Aiah kisses her, it's short and sweet and seems to frustrate Jhoanna, which makes Aiah smile. "Can we just get in bed, pull the covers up and cuddle?"
"Bubbbyyyy" Jhoanna whines. "Why do you do this?"
Aiah chuckles, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't realize I was tired until now" she glances at the clock, three-fifteen, she yawns.
Jhoanna blows out a puff of air, pulling her body away from Aiah's but keeping a hand intertwined with hers. "Come on" she say's tugging Aiah to the bed.
"I'm sorry" Aiah says honestly as Jhoanna places her on the bed.
"Me too" Jhoanna replies, tucking the comforter around her and her touch lingering just a second longer.
"I love you" Aiah whisper, her eyelids suddenly too heavy to keep open.
Jhoanna kisses her on the forehead, "I love you more."
"Not possible" Aiah lets out a soft breath, the darkness slowly taking her.