Chapter Text
If he was being completely honest with himself, he just didn’t get it. Boy and girl, male and female, feminine and masculine, it all was just nonsense.
Of course, he knew the definitions and what it meant on a scientific level but in practice, gender was simply too confusing. As a child this led to several embarrassing moments but after years of judgment, Peter finds it hard to care. Especially after dawning the moniker of Spider-man, I mean wasn’t that enough?
However, there was one big, loud, red, exception to this…
Finally tired of watching the few stragglers before dawn, Peter stretches out just right, limbs shaking, before swinging back home to the modest apartment his photography work could afford.
“Baby boy please please please plea- “
“Okay!" pushing his face back just a few inches, “you can come over, but, but!… Uhm, you have to get pizza.” Peter blurts out before immediately swinging away, not giving Wade a chance to respond.
…after patrolling with Deadpool for a year, Peter made the decision to reveal his identity to Wade. He was a bit lonely, sue him, and so far, he has yet to regret it. Wade even knows he’s autistic and never made a big deal out of it!
But he never really got around to explaining the whole… gender thing. To be fair he doesn’t even really understand the whole gender thing. Normally he wouldn’t be concerned, it is what it is, but being around Wade makes him a bit nervous.
Wade stopped triggering his Spidey-sense almost immediately, so it can’t be that. But Peter would be dumb to ignore the weird fluttery feeling he feels around Wade. At first, he thought he forgot to eat again but it just kept happening. It makes him act a bit silly, but it hasn’t been a problem yet.
All that’s to say he totally didn’t ask Wade to get pizza so he could double check his apartment before he gets there.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit." Tripping over the end of his pink, weighted blanket in an attempt to move everything to his room at once, Peter drops his headband.
It's a frilly little thing. A soft, fuzzy strip adorned with tiger stripes and a tiny pink bow. He wanted the one with bells, but the ringing was too much on his sensitive ears.
Quickly snatching it before it hits the ground, Peter places it on his head and keeps pushing. He shoves the last of his things in his room just as Wade knocks on the window, letting himself in.
"Okay so you didn't give tell me what you wanted this time so- oh well hello pretty kitty."
Peter froze immediately, hyper aware of his favorite headband, now weighing a metric ton on his head. He must have had a certain look on his face because almost immediately Wade is back to talking.
"WHOA hey tiger," placing the boxes haphazardly on the counter, "I'm not pokin' fun webs, it's a very cute headband, very fierce, makes a statement y'know and the bow is I mean," He kisses his fingertips, "Chef's kiss, truly you make a very pretty kitty, baby girl."
Wade shifts closer, not touching but awkwardly hovering, letting Peter process what he said.
Stealing a quick look at Wade before the eye contact veers on the side of painful, Peter pushes up on his tiptoes and back down, quickly rocking a few times just to do something about that flutter kicking up in his chest.
"Shut up and bring the pizza over before I starve." Jumping over the back of the couch Peter tries to quickly move on from whatever that was before he can think too much about it.
And if he keeps the headband on, well Wade already saw it.
Unfortunately, Wade does not want to move past it.
Almost done with their 4 boxes of pizza, Wade shifts so he can see Peter in his peripherals, slowly easing back into conversation.
"sooo webs, baby boy, tiger, do you have any more of those tasteful headbands? Maybe a matching sweater? Fuzzy socks?
C'mon, its killin' me not to know." He says while flinging his body over the back of the couch.
And see the problem is that Peter cannot lie to Wade. He already struggles with telling white lies to the passing New Yorker, but he knows Wade. So, he obviously, artfully, deflects.
"LET'S WATCH STAR WARS!" Launching himself off the couch, Peter grabs the remote starting the movie at a volume loud enough to discourage conversation without ringing in his ears.
The next time Wade sees, its 100% his fault.
Wade told him twice that they would meet at his apartment before going on patrol, but Peter forgot.
He had been out all morning working on a new project at a local flower shop. They had been there for a few years, but their business was finally gaining traction, and the owner wanted new photos.
Peter spent hours talking pictures inside and out before focusing on close-up, taking shots that did their beautiful arrangements justice.
This was one of his more fun jobs but by the end his nose was itchy, and he was ready to go. However, just before he could exit the boutique, he was handed the most beautiful daisy that reminded him of a sunset.
With a renewed pep in his step Peter began to plan his afternoon, patrol completely forgotten.
That is how he ended up here. Bouncing on his tiptoes, hands rapidly flapping at his side, daisy tucked behind his ear, in his flowy pink dress…staring right at Wade, who is standing on his balcony.
"Uh oh!"
Wade let himself in as Peter just watched.
"Hey there baby boy-," Peter cringed, "baby girl, you having fun?"
"Having fun." Peter repeats, still not stopping.
"Well don't stop on my account," Wade says as he confidently walks to the kitchen, "healing, ACCIDENTAL, leg breaks can make a man thirsty."
Ignoring the clattering coming from the kitchen, Peter finishes out "The Only" by Static-X, finally getting ready for patrol.