Work Text:
OTT WAGS 🐎👩❤️👨 group chat
Ilya: guys
new wags time 😉
Cait: OMG who
Lisa: Wait is it who i think
Angie: LAHAAS?
Jess: girl where'd you get lahaas
Angie: chris keeps saying it and texting them it 🤷♀️
Ilya: oh yes very cute
like when people say hollanov
Shane💗: Are you sure they want to be added?
Also should they be since they're both players
Cassie: Ahem.
Selena: Uhh Shane
Harris: the call is coming from inside the house
Shane💗: ?
Ilya: shane
moya lyubov
do you forget who we are?
Shane💗: Oh
Well yeah obviously. But that's just a lot of players
Sorry nevermind yeah add them
Angie: YAY!
chris and finn are gonna be sooo jealous
Ilya added you to OTT WAGS 🐎👩❤️👨 group chat
Ilya added Nic🤍
Ilya: say hello @everyone
Angie: HII
Christy: HI!
Harris: hi boys!
Cassie: Hi guys! Welcome!
Nic🤍: oh hi?
wait what is this
Shane: Ilya.
Did you actually not even tell them about this?
Ilya: of course i did
do not doubt me Морковный торт
Nic🤍: he did not
Ilya reacted 🤫
luc: Did you just call him a carrot cake?
Ilya: LUCA MY BABY
luc: Ilya what is this?
Nic🤍: yes why are we in a wags chat?
more importantly why are you and hollzy in a wags chat
Angie: 🍿🍿
Cait: 👀
Ilya: we are all wags no?
Nic🤍: wife's and girlfriends? i don't think so?
Nic🤍 left the chat
Nic🤍
luc: Hey baby. Whyd you leave??
Nic🤍: well i'm not a wag
luc: Well sorry to break it to you but you are dating a hockey player. So technically..
Nic🤍: ok but like wife and girlfriend?
sorry it's a little degrading
idk maybe im reading it too deeply
sorry does it look like im being rude??
luc: Wait fuck I didn't even realize
Want me to talk to Ilya about it?
You're not rude ❤️ You don't have to be in it if you don't want to. Want me to leave?
Nic🤍: no no it's fine
just add me back ig i don't want to like throw a tantrum
OTT WAGS 🐎👩❤️👨 group chat
you added Nic to OTT WAGS 🐎👩❤️👨 group chat
Nic🤍: ugh
Shane: You can leave if you want Lapointe
Sorry Ilya just added you out of nowhere
luc: He does not want
He is trying to be cool and mysterious
Nic🤍: HEY
this is such a betrayal i dont think ill ever recover
Harris: u guys are so cute
Ilya
Luca: Hi
Nic feels upset about the name of the group chat
Ilya: the name?
Luca: Wives and girlfriends
Says it's degrading because he isn't either of those
Ilya: oh shoot
i'm so sorry i didn't even think of anyone caring about that because me and shane don't
i can change it i don't think they'd care?
Luca: If you can that'd be nice
If not we might just leave I don't want him to feel uncomfortable
Ilya: no i will change it
sorry luca
Luca: It's ok! Thank you cap 😁
OTT WAGS 🐎👩❤️👨 group chat
Ilya renamed the chat "OTT WHABGS🐎👩❤️👨👨❤️👨🧑❤️🧑"
Cassie: Ooo name change
Lisa: Wait fuck yeah perfect
Harris: awww inclusivity
good job ilya
Ilya: yes yes i decided it was time for small rebrand
luc: :)
capt rozy
pointey: thank you ilya
did luca tell you what i said?
capt rozy: i do not know what you are talking about
i decide for myself and for shane and for harris and for you and for luca that h and b should be added
pointey: sorry if i sounded rude
capt rozy: no i am sorry for not thinking about name
you are not rude
LAHAAS FAN CLUB💯🐐 group chat
Bergy: what r u guys doing
Young: YES we gotta hang out rn
if either of you say you're fucking busy j stg
Nic🤍: busy
luc: He is not busy
Nic🤍: excuse me who are you?
yes i am
very very busy doing very important things
Bergy: ok so meet up at my place so we can do something?
Young: YES! coming up now 🥳🥳
luc: Yk what I think I might be busy
Nic🤍: yeah i'm still busy whoops
Bergy: WTF
Young: pointey u gotta fucking die
luca it's not worth it ur coming with us
luc: Hey don't tell him to die :(
What's not worth it?
Bergy: whatever sex his bitch ass bribed you with
Nic🤍: obviously it is worth it
🖕🖕🖕
Young: bullshit assholes
come over right now
Nic🤍: ughhhhh fine
luc: We'll leave in 30!
Young: ooo what are you doing
Nic🤍: wouldnt you like to know 😉
Finn Holmberg @BERGYHocks
slopping down some pig shit with these fat fucks and i'm the fattest of them all. if i died tomorrow no one would shed a tear load my fricken lard carcass into the mud no coffin please. just wet wet mud. bae.
(image attached)
{Image - Split screen picture from a booth of a bar with Finn Holmberg holding out the camera next to Chris Young, both sticking out their tongues. On the other side Nicolas Lapointe and Luca Haas are flipping off the camera with straight faces.}
Chris Young @ChrisTYoung reply to @BERGYHocks
you are the fattest of them all #selfaware
Nicolas Lapointe ✔️ @niclapointe reply to @BERGYHocks
you got one thing right absolutely no tears would be shed
Luca Haas ✔️ @LucaHaas reply to @BERGYHocks
What is wrong with you.
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @ilyaroz81 reply to @BERGYHocks
where was my invite to slop down pig shit with you guys :(
Chris Young @ChrisTYoung
finally got #lahaas outside of the house who cheered
(image attached)
{Image - Luca Haas, Nicolas Lapointe, and Finn Holmberg smiling at the camera with drinks in their hands
Nicolas Lapointe ✔️ @niclapointe reply to @ChrisTYoung
never hanging out with you again
CENS + HARRIS🍎🐎 group chat
Harris: {Screenshot of the twitter thread}
guys please.
please don't make my job harder rn i beg of you please
stop posting things like this im going to have a nervous breakdown
Troy: Yes please stop making his job hard
ILYA DONT FUCKING REPLY
Harris: you mother fucker
how'd you even log back into your account
Ilya: what :( i am sad i did not get invite
you guys think i am oldest man alive who can not have fun?
and that i can not slop down pig shit with you fat fucks
Harris: ilya please
i'm begging you
please stop
this is gonna turn into some body shaming scandal
oh god i can see it
"ottawa centaurs nhl players fat shame each other on twitter"
Shane: Ilya turn your phone off
Ilya: make me ho
Bergy: LMAO
did u just call your husband a hoe😭😭😭
Shane: Ilya.
Ilya: ugh fine byebye guys shane wants to suckmgfjck now
Bood: What..
Shane: Sorry Harris he won't be replying anymore!
Harris: thank you shane.
Troy: Yes thank you Shane you are amazing I love you I'd kiss you on the mouth if I didn't think Roz would put a hit out on me
Ilya: watch your fucking back barrett
Shane: ILYA
luc: Sorry Harris
I told him not to use that caption
Harris: you're ok luca
but you other three...
media training might be in order
Nic🤍: ME?
WHY ME I DIDNT EVEN WANT TO COME HERE
i wanted to stay home and fucadnwbalcuanfns
if this mf doesn't stop taking my phone
luca haas im trying to talk
luc: You're not going to talk about what you were just typing Nicolas Lapointe.
Also yeah why him Harris
Chouinard: Ooo full name you're in trouble
Harris: hmm maybe his reply saying no one would shed a tear if finn died idk
Nic🤍: literally just telling him his tweet was right what's so wrong with that
Hazy: HAAHAHAHHA
Troy: No Hazy don't encourage this
Harris can you just come home who cares if people get upset with them that's their fault
Babe pleaseeeeeeee
Harris: sorry buddy its my job :(
Troy: Fuck all fucking 5 of you bitches
I hope you have terrible days
Young: calm ur ass down boy
CENS ON TOP🐎🏒 group chat
Bood: BBQ on Saturday
Be there or be square
Young: yeah luca and pointey
Bergy: right hopefully they're not "busy"
Dykstra: Why them
Young: apparently these fuckers are always too busy to do anything with us
Hazy: Weren't you guys just hanging out??
Bergy: yeah but we had to threaten them
and luca actually has a heart and made nicolas come
Nic🤍: sorry i'd rather hang out with my boyfriend than u two
Ilya: awwwwwwwew
so cute
Young: NOT cute
pointeys so mean to us
luc: Yes we will be there calm down
Nic🤍
Nic🤍: do we have to go on saturday
luc: Yes.
Nic🤍: whyyyy :(
there are so many other ones
luc: Because they're are our teammates and friends
Nic🤍: butttt
you could just come here instead
i'll make it worth ur while ;)
luc: Cute but no
Nic🤍: ughh lucaaaa
luc: We can do whatever you want after
Nic🤍: no we can't
luc: What?
What do you mean??
Nic🤍: no sex for you
luc: Haha very funny
Nic?
Baby you can't be serious rn
Nic🤍: oh very serious
luc: WHAT
WHY
Nic🤍: you keep making me go hangout with people when i just want to be with you
it's very rude
so if you don't want to be with just me then fine
🤷♀️
luc: Omfg
Fine we don't have to go
Ok
Nic🤍: no you want us to go to boods precious bbq so bad
that's what we'll do
see u saturday haasy
luc: Wait stop
Please
Nic :((((((((((
Wanna call
Nic🤍: sure!
luc: Ok yay😉
Nic🤍: no yay winky face
just normal call
luc: Baby come on
{Shirtless picture of Luca in his mirror}
Nic🤍: put ur clothes back on buddy
luc: 🤬🤬
CENS ON TOP🐎🏒 group chat
luc: Sorry actually I think we're busy on Saturday
Nic🤍: nope! definitely not busy
see you saturday!
Bood: Ok..
CENS + HARRIS🍎🐎 group chat
Hazy: Why is Haasy being so clingy @Lapointe
Bood: Yeah and why are you like dodging him 😭
Nic🤍: oh no reason
luc: I'm killing all of you
Seriously
Count your days
Ilya: LUCA WHAT
Bergy: wtf is this guys issue
Young: trouble in paradise 😉
Nic🤍: no trouble
Shane: Luca are you drunk?
Nic🤍: he is not
Nic🤍
luc: Baby pleaseee
Can we leave
Nic🤍: why would we do that?
we're hanging out with our friends and teammates
isn't that what u wanted?
luc: Ok but like I only wanted to stay for a little bit
Please
Nic🤍: hmm
u want a ride home??
luc: Yes please
Nic🤍: ok
i can bring you to your house in a little bit
luc: MY HOUSE?
No I want to go home with you :((
Nic🤍: to do what?
luc: Baby
Babe please
I'm sorry
Nic🤍: what is it that you want to do?
luc: You know
Nic🤍: hmm i think i don't
so what is it?
luc: Oh my god
I want you to fuck me
Please
I want to suck your dick
Come on
Nic🤍: i don't knowww
luc: UGH
Nic🤍: 🤷♀️
r u ready to leave?
luc: Yes
OTT WAGS 🐎👩❤️👨 group chat
you removed Nic🤍 from the chat
Cassie: ?
Lisa: What is happening
Angie: why'd u take nicolas away :(
Luca: Ok shut up
Angie: 🤐
Jess: feisty
Luca: All of your fucking boyfriends and husbands are ruining my life
Shane: What are you talking about Luca?
Ilya: luca!
is pointey being mean to you?
do i need to have talk with my son in law
Luca: No.
Well yes he's mean but you don't need to talk to him
Cait: Wait is he actually?
Selena: You good Luca?
Luca: Wait
Sorry I'm being so dramatic
Nothings happening
Ilya: so why did you take him out of chat?
Luca: Everyone PLEASE kindly stop inviting me or Nic to literally anything
At least for a week
I can not say no
Harris: why cant u say no??
Luca: I just can't
And he's being very annoying about it
Just please
Angie: lmao what do u mean annoying
Lisa: Ok people pleaser
Luca: I'm serious
Please
I'm adding him back don't say a WORD
you added Nic🤍 to the chat
Ilya: oh hello nicolas
Nic🤍: hi?
Ilya: what are you doing to my son?
luc: Ilya.
Shane: Ilya.
Ilya: ugh fine whatever
i will find out anyway
Nic🤍: luca what??
Lisa: Welcome back!
Nic🤍
luc: Hiii
Wyd
Nic🤍: oh nothing
what are you doing?
luc: {Selfie of Luca in a bar drinking with Ilya and Troy}
It's fun here
Nic🤍: what are you guys doing there
why was i not invited :(
luc: You never wanna be invited places
Wanna come?
Drive here I miss uuu
And we can go to urbiuse later 😉
Nic🤍: no
luc: Omg hou are killingmw
Pleaee
Nic🤍: 🤷♀️
luc: I'll tell Ilya what you're doing to me
Torture
Nic🤍: go right ahead
it's been 5 days drama queen
luc: :(((
LAHAAS FAN CLUB💯🐐 group chat
luc: Niccccc
Please
I actually need you do fuck me so hard rn
Baby I'll do anythng
Bergy: LMAO WTF
Young: BRO
i'm fucking dying
luca 😭😭
luc: Why r they trxting me like rhat
Did I say something to them?
Nic
Nic🤍: please stop drinking
i'll come pick u up
tell rozy or barrett to get u water im otw
luc: Okkk
Will u fuck me thoufh
Pleaeeeee
Bergy: how wasted is he 😭
Young: dude r u not fucking him or what
luc: Oh shittttt
Wrong messages
Sorry
And no he is not because I keep making him go places
Isn't tha so mean
Nic🤍: please put ur phone away
stop
luc: If u fuck meeee
I'll put it away
Nic🤍: ur way too drunk
put it down
luc: Ugh whatever
Ilya said he's taking my phone :(
Bergy: bro fuck ur man
Nic🤍: STFU
Young: 🤣🤣
you, capt rozy, and barrett group chat
pointey: guys pls make him drink water
and take his phone
pls 🙏
capt rozy: nicolas.
why is my baby whining about you calling you mean
barrett: Yeah bro he sounds pretty upset with u
You sure you don't just want us to bring him home?
pointey: very sure
just drop it please
i'll be there so soon
capt rozy: i will ask him if you don't tell me
u know he will cave he is sooo drunk
pointey: why tf did you let him drink so much
barrett: Sorry didn't know he wasnt a grown man
capt rozy: 🕰️ 🕰️
pointey: leave him alone roz
capt rozy: i am askingggggg
pointey: no
stop
rozanov
CENS ON TOP🐎🏒 group chat
Ilya: GUYS
WE NEED TO CALL POLICE
Shane: ??
Are you ok?
Ilya?
Bood: Roz what???
Hazy: Barrett ur with him right? Whats happening??
Troy: Ugh
Hes just being dramatic
Ilya: NO
LAPOINTE IS TORTURING MY SON
Nic🤍: omfg rozanov
Ilya: DO NOT OMFG ME
Shane: Calm down. What are you talking about?
Ilya: i'll tell you what i'm talking about
Nic🤍: pls don't
Ilya: lapointe tells me to take lucas phone because he is on the way and haasy is soooo drunk
and when i try to luca is texting him
telling him to please fuck him cause it has been 5 days
HE IS HOLDING OUT ON MY SON
Shane: Ilya...
This is none of your business babe
Nic🤍: THANK YOU HOLLZY
Bergy: idk man it does kinda sound like ur torturing him..
Young: yeah he seems pretty upset
🤷♀️
Dykstra: Why aren't you fucking
Nic🤍: ...
you guys are so strange
leave me alone💔
Ilya: we are having long long talk when you get here buddy
Nic🤍: oh god
my sons 👨❤️👨 group chat
Ilya: nicolas.
don't think i forgot about that talk
you can not torture luca like this
what is even the reason
Nic🤍: he keeps making me go hang out with people instead of staying home with him
and i make VERY compelling arguments
and so i said ok if you don't want to stay home and have sex with me then no sex for you 🤷♀️
luc: It's sooo mean imcrying
Ilya: CRYING?
Nic🤍: he is not crying
{Picture of Luca, still drunk, giggling at his phone next to Nicolas}
luc: Ok but I want to
Ilya: you are both very dramatic
pointey do not use lucas
mmm
hold on
People pleasing - Shane
yes thank you shane
people pleasing against him
he can not help it
Nic🤍: ok but like
come on
Ilya: no nono
you will fuck yes?
Nicolas you don't have to do anything you don't want to. This isn't any of his business- Shane
shane is reading over my shoulder sorry
Nic🤍: it's ok shane it's not that serious
also i will not do that rn
Ilya: WHY NOT
Nic🤍: did u not see how drunk he is?
Ilya: oh yes
probably not right now
but do it
thank u bye bye goodnight boys 😘
luc: Goodnight dads
Ilya reacted 💗
Nic🤍: goodnight
Ilya reacted 🌙