Work Text:
No. 12
Sirius was standing in the bathroom, combing his hair back and wrapping it in a silky black ribbon before the dinner party began. His family always did this during the holidays when both of the Black heirs were home, every pure blooded wizard was invited over to talk of dark secrets and hatreds of all kinds. Recently, there has been more talk of the wizarding world after He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named takes his “rightful place of ruling”. Regulus was sitting on the edge of the tub, picking at his nails like he always did when he was nervous or when there were too many emotions whirling around inside of him.
“Just try not to make them angry tonight,” Regulus told his brother in a sharp tone.
He sounded more and more like his parents every day but sometimes, when no one was looking, his mask would fall and you could see a scared fifteen year old kid who didn’t know what the world was doing.
“I’ll try my best, Reg, I promise.” Sirius gave his brother a small smile in an attempt to calm him down. There really was no use. A fight was always brewing under the skin of each member of the most Ancient and Noble House of Black.
Within an hour the house was bursting with people in out-dated clothing and pale features that had a dark air about them. No one was laughing or joking with each other, it was as if someone had opened all the windows and the room was slowly freezing over. Walburga Black watched carefully over the party, keeping a keen eye on her two sons, especially Sirius. In an attempt to live up to the promise he gave Regulus, he was trying his best to not talk to anyone who wasn’t Regulus. If Andromeda was here he would be spending the whole night practically sewn to her hip, but she hadn’t been in Grimmauld Place in over two years and there was no sign of her coming back any time soon.
“Hello, cousin,” came a cold voice from behind Sirius. “You’re being abnormally quiet this evening. Cat got your tongue?” Bellatrix had a cheshire smile painted on her gaunt face. She had some horrible plan brewing in her deranged brain that Sirius had no curiosity to know.
“Hello, Bellatrix,” Sirius said, turning his chin up to avoid her wide eyes that seemed to bear into his soul.
“You need a drink, cousin,” she said as she shoved a glass of red wine into his hand. He was always nervous to take food or drinks from his family, especially Bellatrix. But with the way this evening was going, a drink was exactly what Sirius was going to need in order to keep his promise to Regulus. Almost immediately after he took a sip he felt his whole body get warmer and his brain felt a little more relaxed.
“Thanks, Bellatrix,” Sirius said flatly.
“So, do tell me, cousin. How is that horrible school doing now?” she asked in a snooty tone.
“It’s a rather good school, Bellatrix, and you know it. You’re just brainwashed or literally insane. It truly might be both,” Sirius’ words flew out of his mouth like a bat out of Hell. He clapped a hand over his mouth and set his glass on the shelf nearby.
“Oh really?! You’re calling me insane? What about Loony Lupin? I must look like the most normal being next to his freakish self,” Bellatrix replied, her voice getting louder as she spoke.
“How dare you! You are fucking-” Regulus snatched Sirius by the back of his collar and dragged him out of the room and straight upstairs.
“Sirius!” Regulus hissed once the door was closed. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know!” Sirius ran his hands over his face. “I feel really weird, Reggie.” His brother looked at him with worried eyes.
“What do you mean?” Regulus asked. Sirius sat down on the floor of his room, leaning against the wall in an attempt to center himself.
“I think Bellatrix put something in my drink,” Sirius said, panic started to creep over him. “I don’t know what to do, Reggie. What should I do?”
“I don’t know, but I know that if we both stay up here any longer Mother and Father will make our night much worse,” Regulus looked quickly to the door, trying to see if there were any shadows that darkened the doorway.
“Put a silencing charm on me,” Sirius blurted out. “You can undo it when the night is up, but I have no idea what I will say if we don’t find another solution.”
“Sirius, we’re both underage. We can’t do that,” Regulus said.
“We'll be fine, our family is practically half of the ministry at this point. They won’t bat an eye,” Sirius convinced his brother.
“Fine,” Regulus sighed. He grabbed his wand out of the inner pocket of his waist-coat. “Silencio.” Sirius nodded to his brother, he tried to make a noise but nothing happened. This would have to work for now, there really was no other option.
The rest of the night went as best as it could, Sirius avoided most of the party-goers while Regulus took his part in playing the perfect son very seriously. Every member of the party was very interested to hear about Regulus’ lessons and all the marks he had received on his most recent exams, Sirius noticed his mother looking almost happy at her youngest son. But once her dagger-like eyes found Sirius the chill in the room grew stronger. It was almost as if she could control the temperature with her seething anger. Bellatrix followed Sirius closely on his heels, pestering him with endless questions he had no ability to answer, even if he did, the answer he would give would probably have caused his mother to take his tongue right that instant.
“So, you’re friends with that Potter boy? Isn’t his whole family just a bunch of blood traitors?” she asked in her shrill voice. Sirius bit his tongue even though he couldn’t respond. He tried to tune her out but somehow her voice felt like it was drilling deeper and deeper into his brain.
“Speak, boy,” Orion said in his signature gavel-like voice. Sirius couldn’t, literally, so he simply shook his head. He knew the consequences would be bad but they weren’t what he was expecting.
“It was my fault,” Regulus said from the doorway. Sirius shot him a look to urge him to go back upstairs and lock his door, but he stubbornly stood there.
“Your fault?” Walburga turned to him in her chair, her wand was clutched in her bony hand.
“Yes, mother,” Regulus nodded his head shamefully. “I…I didn’t want to hear Sirius talking about that horrible school. So I shut him up myself.” That lie was better than the truth. Thankfully, Regulus was the perfect son and Sirius received his punishments instead.
“Regulus, go upstairs. We need to deal with your brother,” Walburga said cooly, with a swish of her wand the doors slammed closed. Regulus stayed right outside the door, sitting on the floor. He had done this almost all his life, ever since he realized what really happened to Sirius after he was told to go upstairs. Regulus didn’t know why he stayed, it’s not like he could do anything to help Sirius at the moment. But he felt some sort of guilt-fueled duty to wait for his brother on the other side.
“Now, I don’t know if Regulus was telling the truth. However, it is nice to have you quiet for once,” Orion said. Sirius stood with a blank look on his face as he stared at a spot on the wall behind his father. He knew what was coming, he always knew.
“Curcio,” Walburga whispered sharply from behind her son. Sirius folded in on himself, every part of his body felt like it was being lit on fire. His mind went blank for however long his mother held him like this. It was a pain he could never describe and would never wish on anyone, but he was somewhat happier that it was him in his father’s study and not Regulus. It felt like a lifetime passed before his mother broke the spell and Sirius was still shaking on the floor. There were no words exchanged between the two adults, there was no noise at all. There was an odd feeling that took over Sirius’ body, his brain was blank and he was suddenly standing. He felt like he wasn’t even in his own body, nothing felt real anymore, it was unlike anything he’s ever felt and it twisted his gut tightly with fear. Sirius turned on his heel to face his mother, she had a sinister grin on her face.
“Sirius, come here, darling,” her voice was disturbingly sweet. He had no choice but to obey, he took two steps forward and his mother wrapped her arms around him. He didn’t move, Sirius stood like a statue.
“I’m glad we have another one, Walburga,” Orion said from his chair.
“I agree,” she said in Sirius’ ear. She pressed something to Sirius’ stomach, he couldn’t tell what it was but it certainly wasn’t anything nice. Suddenly, something he’d never felt before, as if there was air running through him where it had never touched before spread across his stomach. Warmth spread from where he felt the wind, he realized what he was feeling. His mother let him go as horror grew larger in his eyes.
“Go upstairs, Sirius,” was all she said. A small dagger was held by her side, dripping with crimson blood. His body was buzzing in the worst way, he didn’t know what to do. He stumbled to the door, wrapping his arm over his stomach. Regulus was waiting right outside the door, worry etched on his pale face.
“Sirius, what happened?” he asked, his eyes scanning his older brother’s face. Sirius just shook his head, he still had no voice and he wasn’t quite sure if he would ever get it back. He walked slowly up the crooked stairs with his brother in toe, his arm still wrapped firmly around his middle. Once he finally got to the landing he collapsed to the cold floor.
“Sirius…oh fuck,” Regulus whispered once he saw the damage. He didn’t know what to do, he stood in shock, staring at his brother in horror. Regulus took his emerald waist-coat off and pressed it to Sirius’ stomach, praying to whoever that his brother would be alright. Panic settled over Regulus, he didn’t know what to do. Sirius cupped his hand on Regulus’ sharp face, trying to calm him down to the best of his ability.
“You’re going to be okay, Sirius. You will be fine,” Regulus said firmly, trying to get them both to believe it. Sirius nodded as tears rolled down both of their faces. He moved his hand off his brother's face and made a strange movement with it, an odd squiggly shape in the air. “What do you need? I-I don’t know what to do.”
As if he could read Sirius’ mind, Regulus ran for his room to get a pencil and a scrap of parchment. He thrust it in Sirius’ hand quickly. He wrote only two things: get James.
“How do I get James? We can’t apparate, Sirius!” Regulus panicked, his voice was breaking as he spoke faster and faster. Sirius pointed to his bedroom where one of the many fireplaces were. Regulus understood what needed to happen and he knew that it needed to happen as fast as possible, even with Sirius in his current state. Sirius leaned mostly on Regulus as they made their way to the fireplace, Regulus took a fistful of green sand in his hand.
“The Potter’s residence,” Regulus spoke clearly as he dropped the sand and they were engulfed in green flames. God only knows what happened after they left the house that evening, they both knew it wasn’t good but it was better that neither of them were home.
Gracelessly, the both fell onto the white carpet of the Potter’s household, covering it in soot and blood. No one was in the living room, there was no one in sight but the lights were still on.
“James!” Regulus shouted as he stood up. Sirius rolled over to his back, breathing quickly and clutching his stomach even more. “James Potter!”
“Who’s there?” said a deep voice from the kitchen.
“Regulus Black,” he responded. Fleamont, Euphemia, James, and Remus flooded out of the kitchen with confusion painted on each of their faces.
“Oh…” Euphemia said softly before rushing to Sirius on the floor, her eyes scanning quickly over the injured boy. She pulled the buttons apart on his shirt to reveal the ugly truth.
“Regulus, what…” James’ words faltered as he saw the state of his friend. Remus was already sitting at Sirius’ head, his shaky hands running through his hair.
“James, I need the carrier,” Euphemia said sharply. James ran to the study down the hall and came back within the blink of an eye with a basket that clinked with many glass bottles of potions and ointments.
“Regulus, are you hurt?” Fleamont asked. He shook his head, his eyes glued on his brother.
The world sounded like it was underwater as he watched Mrs. Potter work quickly to help Sirius, James with silent tears falling on his face as he looked at his best friend in horror, Remus who carefully brushed Sirius’ hair off his face, and Fleamont who was watching both brothers very carefully.
“Sirius, honey, does it hurt anywhere else?” Mrs. Potter asked. Sirius shook his head, she had mended his stomach as best she could. It wasn’t a magic dagger so it would close like any other scar, though it was deep enough to take a while to heal.
“Siri, what happened?” Remus asked. Sirius looked over at Regulus with worried eyes, as if he was asking him not to say anything but he didn’t quite know. It was too quiet for too long.
“Sirius, you need to tell us what happened so we can help you,” Fleamont said in a soft voice, kneeling at his side.
“Reggie, what happened?” James asked as he ran a worried hand through his messy hair.
“He’s got a silencing spell on him. I put a silencing charm on him. He can’t talk,” Regulus said in an empty voice.
“Why would you do that?” Remus fumed.
“I had to. Bellatrix put something in his drink…he would have gotten more hurt if I didn’t,” Regulus replied, tears pricked at his eyes again. He would not cry in front of other people except for Sirius, it was somewhat of a rule he made for himself before he began school.
“Okay, Regulus. Was it just a standard charm?” Euphemia asked in a soft voice. Regulus nodded stiffly, willing himself to not cry. “Finite.” It was as if Sirius got his breath again along with his voice.
“Reggie,” was the first thing Sirius said, he turned his head to his brother. “It’s okay, Reg.” That was it, he folded next to his brother. Tears flowed from his matching grey eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Sirius,” Regulus said in a small voice.
“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you,” Sirius sat up, the cut on his stomach shrank from the magic Euphemia used.
“You’re not?” Regulus refused to meet Sirius’ eyes.
“I promise, little one,” Sirius replied, ruffling his brother's black and grey hair. “You need to go wash your face, Reg.” Regulus instinctively wiped at his face and saw his hand come back with red on his fingertips.
“Jamie, get them a change of clothes, alright?” Fleamont said. “Remus, will you show Regulus where the bathroom is, please?” Remus nodded, after pressing a small kiss to Sirius’ forehead he got up from the floor with Regulus and led him up the stairs.
Remus handed Regulus a washcloth from the cupboard under the sink and let him wash the blood off his porcelain skin, his amber eyes full of sadness as he watched the younger boy.
“I’m so sorry, Remus,” Regulus said as he dried his face, tears still flowing like a river down his face.
“Reg, you didn’t hurt Sirius. If anything, shutting him up helped him not get as hurt,” Remus said as he attempted to meet Regulus’ eyes. Without warning Regulus wrapped his arms around Remus tightly, his breath coming very quickly.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Regulus said through ragged breaths.
“Reg, it’s not your fault. It’s okay,” Remus squeezed him tightly, the younger boy was shaking in his arms as sobs wracked his chest. “He’s going to be okay, Regulus, he's going to be okay.”
“I have to go back there,” Regulus said in Remus’ chest. “They need me back there.”
“No, you’re not going back there. I won’t allow it,” Remus said in a stern voice, he sounded similar to how his own father used to speak when he was being stern to a much younger Remus.
“You don’t understand-” Regulus started.
“Regulus, you and Sirius are not going back there. Effie and Monty will talk to the Ministry and Dumbledore about it. You don’t have to ever go back,” Remus said. Regulus didn’t say anything he just held onto Remus even tighter, as if he was a life preserve in a stormy sea. After a while he pulled away, quickly drying his face with the bloodied sleeve of his shirt.
“Thanks, Remus,” Regulus said quietly.
“You’re going to be alright, Reg, I know it,” Remus tried to assure him. But Remus wasn’t even sure of that himself. James popped over at the bathroom door with a bundle of clothes in his arms for Regulus. He felt like he was intruding on something but he went in anyway.
“Hey, Reg. Here are some clothes to change into, if you want to shower too you can use anything in there,” James handed him the clothes.
“Thanks, James,” Regulus said quietly. “Where’s Sirius?”
“He’s in the kitchen, mum’s making him something to eat,” James gestured downstairs. “Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m okay, thanks though,” he replied. “I think I’m going to shower.”
James and Remus rejoined Sirius in the kitchen while he cleared the plate that Euphemia had given him a bit ago.
“How are you feeling, mate?” James asked. Remus draped his arm around Sirius while James rested his head on Sirius’ free shoulder.
“Better than ever, Jamie,” Sirius gave him a sarcastic side-smile. “Thanks, by the way. But we can go back tomorrow morning.”
“You will do no such thing,” Euphemia fumed at the stove. “Sirius, you and Regulus will stay here for the rest of the holiday. No debate on that. Monty and I will figure out the rest of it, don’t worry.” Her face was red with either anger and hatred for the Black parents. She always knew there were bad things that happened behind the gray door of Grimmauld Place, but she never knew the length of it.
“You and your brother are so similar you don’t even realize,” Remus noted. “He said the same thing upstairs, just a moment ago.”
“Thank you, Effie,” Sirius responded in a quiet voice, sounding like a younger version of himself.
“You and Regulus can share the guest room if you’d like, it’s right next to James,” Euphemia said. She was washing up the kitchen the wizard way, with a simple flick of her wand the room was spotless again.
“Sounds good with me,” Sirius replied.
“Speaking of, you have had enough excitement for a lifetime tonight. The two of you need to head to bed once Regulus is out of the shower, no argument,” she said. It was an uncanny resemblance that James had with his mother, when the four of them were at school he was practically a mirror image of her.
“Yes ma’am,” Sirius gave a goofy salute to her before getting up from the table and making his way upstairs with Remus and James right behind him. The water was still going in the bathroom so they still had time before Mrs. Potter would strictly enforce the two of them to rest off their evening.
“I’ve got some extra pajamas for you, Sirius, hold on,” James said after looking at Sirius’ still blood-soaked dress shirt. He sat on the edge of James bed with Remus sitting on the floor, James rummaged chaotically through his clothes before finding a pair of flannel joggers and a Gryffindor jumper from his second year. He had outgrown it since the growth spurt he hit in their fourth year winter holiday break. Almost on instinct, Sirius started running his nimble fingers through Remus’ curls while the three boys together, James went on a rant about how he wanted the quidditch team to really ‘shape up’ this year, he was desperate not to lose to Slytherin again. It was the small moment of peace that Sirius was craving the whole summer, though the events leading to it were horrible he was glad he finally got it.
“Hey, James,” Regulus stood at the door with wet hair and a bundle of dirty dinner attire.
“What’s up, Regulus?” James responded, an easy smile painted on his face.
“Umm, this is a weird question. But…can I get rid of these clothes?” Regulus asked with a shameful look at the clothes in his arms.
“Sure, there’s a bin in the kitchen,” James suggested. The three boys started getting up from the bed to join Regulus, Remus had the small worry that he was thinking about going back to that house like he had mentioned earlier.
“I have an idea, Reggie,” Sirius said with a mischievous glint in his mercury eyes.
The four boys had made their way down to the sitting room, a fire still glowing softly in the hearth. They all stood in a line, the two brothers with arm-fulls of dinner clothes that were tainted with blood and dark memories.
“Incendio,” Sirius said, the fire roared stronger. “Ready?” he looked to his brother with encouraging hope on his face.
“Ready,” Regulus said in a stern voice before the two of them tossed their clothes into the fire. Flames ate away at the fabric quickly, the black and green clothes quickly turning to ash in the fireplace. Remus looked down at Regulus, he looked younger than ever. He was only fifteen, he was still a kid, they all were just kids and yet there was a darkness that slowly snuck into their lives that they had yet to truly face head-on.
“Hey, Jamie,” Sirius pulled James outside the doorway of the guest room after they had left the fire to die out.
“What’s up, Padfoot?” James said.
“Would you mum kill me if Remus and I shared the guest room instead of Regulus and I?” Sirius asked. He really didn’t want to get Mrs. Potter ticked off.
“Where’s Reg going to sleep?” James asked.
“In your room?” he replied, almost hopeful.
“I’m okay with it, but ask Reg. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable,” James said with a nod.
After a moment of deliberation between the brothers they had come to the agreement that Regulus would share with James and Remus would share with Sirius, who had a grin creeping onto his face. They all said their goodnights and see-you’s before going to their separate rooms and closing the doors behind themselves.
“Sorry about Sirius,” James said as he drew the curtains partly closed, the moon peeking into the room.
“No, it’s really okay. We’ve been together all holiday, sometimes it’s good to have a little bit of room to breathe,” Regulus replied with a dry chuckle.
“I can sleep on the floor if you want to take the bed,” James suggested.
“I don’t want to kick you out of your bed, James,” Regulus replied. “We can share, it’s really no problem with me.” James was slightly surprised by that suggestion, Regulus was pretty closed off from everyone except for his gang of Slytherin friends and Sirius. Even sometimes he blocked Sirius out when they were at school.
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” James said. He really didn’t want Regulus to feel forced to share the bed with him if he didn’t want to.
“Potter, for fuck sake. I said it’s fine!” Regulus sighed. He didn’t sound angry, he sounded positively exhausted and slightly sounded like the eleven year-old Regulus from the first time he and James met at Hogwarts.
“Alright then,” James put his hands up as a surrender. He lowered himself into the bed, pulling the blanket back for Regulus to join when he was ready. Thankfully the bed at his parents house was bigger than the four-poster beds at Hogwarts.
Regulus didn’t make a move towards the bed, he walked over to the window and sat himself on the windowsill, a sliver of moonlight washing over his face. He pulled his knees to his chest, curling in on himself to try and be as small as he could. He never really felt tired in the sense he needed sleep, it was always like that ever since he was a little kid. Frequently, he would sneak into Sirius’ room after everyone had gone to sleep and join his brother in his bed. They never talked about it too, Sirius would always leave the door a little ajar just for Regulus to sneak in when he needed some sense of safety in their house.
“Reggie?” James said after a while. He didn’t move or say anything. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t want to sleep,” Regulus said, his voice small.
“You need sleep, Reg,” James started to slowly get out of bed.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll sleep later,” Regulus brushed him off, keeping his gaze on the stars outside. James got up and walked slowly to join the other boy at the window, he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he knew that Regulus wasn’t asleep or even near there. He folded his legs and leaned back against the wall, his eyes glued on Regulus.
“I can ask my mum for a sleep tonic if you want. They’re pretty helpful,” James suggested. His mum used to give them to him when he was panicking and the world was falling from his grasp, they were truly the best way to restart sometimes.
“I don’t want to sleep right now,” Regulus replied.
“I can go get Sirius if you want,” James said.
“No, it’s okay. He’s already asleep, I’m sure,” Regulus responded. “I just don’t want to sleep.”
“Why’s that?” James cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. The two boys fell silent, Regulus chewed on his lower lip and twisted at his frail hands while the quiet itched at James.
“What if I see them?” Regulus’ voice was almost non-existent when he spoke. “I don’t want to see my parents, James.”
Silent tears started to trail their way down Regulus’ cheeks, he wiped at them furiously with the cuffs of his borrowed shirt. James placed his hands softly over Regulus' worrying fingers, a comforting smile on his face to try and bring some calm into Regulus’ storm. There was an odd and warm feeling filling his stomach that he tried to ignore.
“It will be okay,” James said, though he wasn’t sure it would be.
“They’re scary. They’re so scary, James,” Regulus whispered to his hands. James quickly pulled him in, tightly hugging him and praying that the bad things would stay away for the night. He had never really seen Regulus like this, he seemed so small and hurt. James’ heart cracked as he gave one last squeeze and let Regulus go.
“You’ll be okay, I'll make sure of that,” James nodded.
“You Gryffindors and your hero complex,” Regulus rolled his eyes as he tried to regain his too-cool energy that he always had at school.
“You Slytherins and your solumness,” James replied with a wink. Regulus was thankful for the dark room that was hiding the blush that grew stronger on his pale face.
“You’re going to be alright, Reg,” James reminded him.
He needed to make sure Regulus knew that, James knew that Sirius struggled with the idea of everything being okay too. More times than he wanted to count James has hugged Sirius while he cried about being back home or about nightmares about his parents. He never knew how bad it was because Sirius always wanted to pretend that everything was fine the next day, so James never pried.
“Thanks, James,” Regulus replied. There was a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
“Are you tired yet?” James asked.
“If I said yes would you believe me?” Regulus responded.
“Not even a little bit,” James said with a dramatic shake of his head.
“It was worth a try,” Regulus grumbled in his response.
“Why don’t you just lay down? You’ve had a rough go of it and it might be good,” James suggested.
“Not as rough as Sirius.” Regulus shivered a little at the image of his brother pale, bloody, and with very real fear in his eyes.
“But you aren’t Sirius, you’re Regulus. You don’t have the same brain, or the same heart, or the same feelings. Give yourself a little slack,” James said. He wouldn’t admit it now but he was often saying similar things whenever he was upset about something. It’s not like being a werewolf. It’s not as bad as Grimmauld Place. He mentally kicked himself for being so hypocritical.
“You’re too nice, you know that?” Regulus replied as he shook his head, his curly hair falling over his eyes. With no more argument, the two sunk into James’ soft bed under the glow of the moon. There was a small space between the two of them that was filled with electricity, the two boys stared awkwardly away from each other and directly at the ceiling. Sleep tugged lightly at Regulus’ eyes but his brain was swimming with a million thoughts, mostly about being in the same bed as James Potter with only a few inches between the two of them. He chewed at his bottom lip nervously, praying that James would fall asleep quickly and he could move back over to the window. Truthfully, he didn’t want to leave James’ side but the feeling that was bubbling in his stomach was making him more and more anxious. There was a sharp voice in the back of his mind, his mother, telling how disgusting he was and how horrible of a son he was even if he was the ‘favorite’. Regulus was too lost in his own brain when James rested a warm hand over his own, making his fingers go still. He had a habit, ever since he was young, he would pretend to play the chords of his violin on his fingers when his brain was spinning out. His mother always told him to stop fidgeting and slap his hands to still them. But they were never held, not with such care and warmth. His breath caught in his throat, he held it like he was being pulled underwater.
“Reggie?” James turned his head to face the other boy. He didn’t say anything, just kept holding his breath. James brought his hand up to move a rogue curl off of Regulus’ forehead, it was the small section of his hair that was silver, a stark contrast against his raven curls. Regulus turned to face James, there was an odd look in his eyes. Grey worried eyes met hopeful brown eyes.
“You’re going to be alright,” James whispered. It almost sounded like a promise to Regulus. The kinds of promises that were only exchanged in the dark and late hours of the night.
“How do you know that?” Regulus whispered back.
“I don’t know,” James said in a disappointed voice. He always tried to be the one his friends could rely on, the one that gave sound advice and helped people when they couldn’t help themselves. But he really had no idea what he was doing. He never really did.
“I hope you’re right,” Regulus said in an almost silent voice. He dropped James’ gaze, looking down at the bed instead of getting lost in the dark brown eyes in front of him.
“I’ll make sure of it,” James replied, his hand cupping Regulus’ face gently. Regulus’ eyes slowly came back up to meet James’ steady gaze. His brain felt like there was a whirlpool pulling everything down. His breath caught in his throat again, his chest rising and falling quickly and his eyes looking quickly back at the bed instead of the beautiful boy in front of him. James pulled his hand away making Regulus immediately mourn the warmth that was there. He was pulling at his shirt a little at the hem, his skin itched and felt like it was starting to catch on fire just like his clothes downstairs. He sat up quickly in the bed, keeping his eye fixed on the window.
“Reg?” James said in a worried voice.
“I have to go,” he said in a distant voice. It didn’t sound like his normal tone, it sounded like the voice he used when he and his brother were fighting or when he wanted to hurl insults at people in the corridors. “I’ll go. I need to go.” He started to get out of the bed, James grabbed his wrist. Regulus flinched slightly at the sudden contact, James saw that happen with Sirius when he would come back from breaks too. It made his heart ache so much.
“You don’t need to go anywhere,” James said in a steady tone.
“I have to,” Regulus said, his voice cracking.
“Don’t go, Reggie,” James said as he scooted closer to the other boy on the bed. “Please don’t go.”
Without warning Regulus turned quickly and curled against James chest, clutching the back of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping him afloat in the whirlpool that was his mind. James was initially caught off guard by this but he quickly wrapped his arms around the small boy and drew small circles on his back to soothe him.
“It’s okay, Reg,” James whispered to his dark curls. He shook his head against his chest. James instinctively pressed a firm kiss to the top of his head, he didn’t really know why. Regulus stilled immediately. He stayed exactly where he was but he stopped twiddling his fingers on James’ back when he planted that kiss on his head. The world seemed to stop with him. James didn’t change his demeanor, he just kept holding Regulus tightly but made sure he felt that he wasn’t trapped. It was something he perfected with Sirius over the years of being roommates.
“I can get you a sleeping draught if you want one,” James suggested again. Regulus pulled back, his silver eyes wide. He didn’t know what came over him at that moment. Regulus moved his hands up to James’ messy curls and pulled him in, pressing his lips to the other boys. That moment made time stop in James’ room. It was fleeting. Regulus quickly pulled away and put his hands in his lap, panic flooded his face.
“I’m so sorry,” Regulus whispered. “I…I’m so sorry, Potter.”
Potter? What happened to James? Why did he change back?
Regulus began to get up from the bed again, and James grabbed his wrist again and tugged him back to the bed. His face was something Regulus could not read, which was rare.
“Reggie?” James’ voice cracked slightly. Regulus refused to look at the other boy, he kept his eyes glued to the wall in front of him. James took Regulus’ chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face towards his own.
“I’m sorry,” Regulus whispered, James noticed tears that were waiting to fall from Regulus’ grey eyes. James pulled him in gently and kissed him properly this time and Regulus welcomed it. Almost immediately he melted when James’ lips met his own, he wrapped his fingers into James’ curls as James snaked his hand around Regulus’ waist. It’s so lovely, Regulus feels the warmth in his stomach flow through his whole body now. After a long time they finally parted, breathing heavily and red lipped.
“Please don’t go,” James said softly as he cupped Regulus’ small face. Regulus just gave him a wide smile, he felt so giddy.
“I won’t, Jamie,” he rested his head in the crook of James’ neck. He took a deep breath, soaking up every part of what was happening.
“You need to go to sleep, love,” James ran a gentle hand through the other boy's hair. He could feel Regulus relax even more under his touch. Reluctant to move his head off of James’ shoulder, Regulus laid back on the bed with James right next to him. James wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him against his chest and nuzzled his nose into Regulus’ black curls.
“G’night, James,” Regulus said quietly. He knew that tomorrow would be different and this whole night was going to be a fond memory that neither of them would talk about.
“G’night, Reggie,” James’ words tickled Regulus’ neck, he pressed a kiss to the boy's shoulder. He knew that tomorrow he would wake up with Regulus in his arms and that was the perfect thought to make him fall blissfully asleep.
END