Work Text:
[Warm Ups]
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Ummmm tell me why I’m finding out bbg Shane and Ilya are mic’d for pride night from some rando in a café???
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
OK but does Shane know everything they do is interesting?? Asking for a friend 👀
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Rozy is gonna be such a fucking issue and Shane is going to cry I’m so sat for this
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Aaaand he’s off, already making jokes this man is so unserious
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Lady Byng should go to Hollander, man is already doing damage control for whatever shit Rozy talks during this game
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Give this man all the awards and MY LOVE 🥰
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Got my popcorn got my pride flags got my wife I am READY
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Excited to show support for Ottawa Pride Night! Watch party is going strong here in NYC 💪
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Does Scott Hunter know you’re out here supporting Ilya R*zanov???
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
💕No 💕
[First Period]
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
I am already losing my mind Shane let Ilya take the faceoff for the pride game because of bi erasure how dare you make me into a Hollander fan
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Hate to tell ya this but Roz is first line center, I think he’s joking here
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Don’t care, was very cute, moving on
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
OK I may hate Ottawa but low key your boy is funny
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Not Roz making jokes about that Detroit center calling him a slur 🙈
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
And then immediately being like ‘for viewers at home, that was a lie, I was lying’
Lala Sports @Lalasaysshhhhh
Roz says 👁️ I will allow being called an asshole but ✋ I draw the line at slurs 😂 Boy be serious
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Meanwhile Macintosh said ☝️ I am not a bigot sir 😇 You are just an asshole
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Rozy changing lines with Hollander and reminding us that scoring goals is universally sexy, no matter who you want to fuck
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Roz said love is love 😍
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Not bbg shane chatting on the ice about trans flag tape and then hitting the defender with an Elle Woods “What like its hard??”
Martina-tini @Tini90210
And a goal???? Could he be more babygurl I cannot
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
OK but Shane is starting to sound like Roz and low key its super hot??? Like I’m a Rozanov girlie but like 👀 Shane saying the defense wasn’t making it work for it? 🥵
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Also playing with his food??? I am screaming why are they so hot
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Our defense is fine against NORMAL FUCKING TEAMS YOU GUYS ARE JUST FREAKY GOOD ITS NOT FAIR THEY HAVE HOLLANDER TOO
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Ah, Montreal fucking your life up too? You may be entitled to financial compensation…
Lala Sports @Lalasaysshhhhh
Imagine being called the gayest player in the NHL during the pride game Shane Hollander is more patient than me fr fr
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
By his own husband, we hate to see queer on queer crimes 😢 😂 🌈
[Second Period]
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Shane got in trouble with Harris and he said 🫡 🏒 More hockey talk sir yes sir
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Wow a gift, got Norris saying hi to his mom and then winning a faceoff, what a night
Martina-tini @Tini90210
He somehow actually surprised Hollander with the power of being earnest and adorable???
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Boys we are EATING HOLLANDER GOT ANNOYED BY NORRIS LEGGGGGO
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Are you good man?
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
I’m obviously not
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
My husband bored af on the bench annoying Barret like its his only job tn
Lala Sports @Lalasaysshhhhh
His only job is to be hot and chat shit and he’s doing a great job at both
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
And barret having none of it, rudeeeeee 🌝
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Two misses in a row, one off the pads one off the crossbar, homophobia is a CRIME PEOPLE
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Get this man his husband he is UPSET
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Forget him, I’m fucking mad
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Not Holly saying they moved the crossbar could these men please flirt less
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
No ahahaha they’re so sexy tho
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
You’re right and you should say it
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Oooooof not Roz saying he’ll show how its done and immediately doing the same fucking thing
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Bbg leave your husband alone he’s such a cutie
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
And Hollander guessing that Roz was chatting shit
Martina-tini @Tini90210
I want what they have, your honor 🙌
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
You’re literally watching with your wife???
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Give it a rest, Joe
Lala Sports @Lalasaysshhhhh
Holly with the analysis I love it
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
My MANNNNNNN So SEXYYYY
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Shane was so sure it was Helly in goal sir you literally scored on Michaels earlier please pay attention
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Hollander says Goalie?????? Where 🧐
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Love both halves of Hollanov saying they’re impressed with the goalie that’s gotta feel good @Razmeupboi
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
The Helly comparison for Michaels is real nice, I’m not gonna lie
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
We popping champagne for that alone
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
I just want Roz to hit me like that, is that too much to ask?
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Babe I fear you would die
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Would be worth it tho 😜
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Roz both apologizing for laying that guy out and also saying he’s made of glass? Personally I’d retire immediately
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
And Hollander with the explanation of Kronwalling? King, hockey IQ through the roof, managing to also be a nagging husband, he truly does it all
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
To be a fly on the wall for one of their arguments, I cannot image
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Roz and Holly having a domestic while Roz is literally chasing the puck, I am speechless, I am obsessed
Martina-tini @Tini90210
My wife was like ‘girl, that’s us fr tho’
Martina-tini @Tini90210
And she’s not wrong, I’m busting out the ‘wtf are you doing rn?’ all the damn time
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
If you’re married and you aren’t using the ‘wtf are you doing rn?’ are you really married?
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Awww Shane worried about his husbands shoulder when will this love find me?????
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
FRRRRRR
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
NOOO NOT ILYAS BEAUTIFUL FACE
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Oof brutal high stick to the face, Roz is spitting blood there, anyone spot any teeth there?
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
I’m not seeing any, Holly is standing on the bench tho
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Oof powerplay Ottawa
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
- I am sorry for Roz’s face
- Hollander and Rozanov on the same line should be illegal istg
Lala Sports @Lalasaysshhhhh
OK but they’re so cute worrying for each other
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
WHAT DID HE SAYYYYYY
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Not Roz making a blowjob joke while spitting blood onto the ice sir please
Lala Sports @Lalasaysshhhhh
Roz taking a nice moment with his worried husband and immediately being like ‘I’m gonna flirt with this man until he begs me to stop’
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Is Ottawa actually powered by gay love or are they just like this all the time
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
All the time I fear, my shaney is looking tense but also like he fucking loves it
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Roz with 3 dirty jokes in a row and then pretending to be upset his husband won’t kiss him on the ice, nobody is doing it like him truly
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
I’m just saying, right after the egregiously dirty-talking his husband on the ice, Roz got an assist on that PP goal 👀
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
So you agree gay love makes hockey players better 🎤
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
I mean 🤪
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
OK but like do we think Holly actually begs for it or was that a joke??
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Look at Hollys big bottom eyes, he don’t have to beg
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Yeah Roz is down bad for sure
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
But also 🤨 I could see it
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Oh Holly for sure begs for it who wouldn’t its Roz????
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Sorry did Roz just call Lucas Haas his son?
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Oh you’re new here new here
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
He’s not even a rookie though?
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Yes but ☝️ he will always be Rozzys son, those are the rules
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Istg you guys are so weird in the funniest way
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
My man calling out his man for fucking around on the ice these two I cannot
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Brunch??????
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Not Holly clarifying it’s a play call, sir we all knew that
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Joe you seem like a nice guy so I’m gonna remind you again. We don’t all know this.
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Whoops sorry! Yup it’s a play call!
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Joe with the opposite of mansplaining, he’s manassuming we know things. Boy I know the Cens are fun to watch and that you’ll explain wtf happened after
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Will be less annoying about knowing stuff 🫡 excited to have yall here 🥰
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Joe you’re an alright fella aren’t ya?
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
I mean. I like to think so?
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Joe says let people enjoy hockey 😤 even if they don’t know much about hockey 🙊
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Ilya was so excited for brunch, how you feeling @BostonBitch1221
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
He’s so sad look at his little face ☹
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
So sad so sad, maybe Holly will kiss it better
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
OMG he kissed his helmet OMG OMG
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Roz said 🤩
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Forget Roz that was FUCKING ADORABLE
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
The boys are so cute I cannot
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
And Roz still with the jokes this guy
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
2-0 Centaurs going into the second intermission! And a Hollanov helmet kiss! Love is love! #gayrights
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Yall drink on the job don’t ya 👀
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Was it the #gayrights that gave it away?
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Yeah, just a little bit
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
@JoeJoeJoe free drink for you at the Kingfisher if you’re brave enough to show your face
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Hey we like @JoeJoeJoe now
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Fine, a non-sarcastic free drink for @JoeJoeJoe
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
🥰
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
I step away to gif the Hollanov helmet kiss and come back to my dear friend @JoeJoeJoe getting into it with @KingfisherNYC???? What is this timeline???
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
No no not anymore we’re sorry @JoeJoeJoe
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Its all good @BostonBitch1221 put away the pitchforks!
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Fine 😒 We gotta keep Joe around otherwise who will make me look like I know technical hockey rules??
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
@BostonBitch1221 Nah you know plenty tho
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
ENOUGH FLIRTING TIME FOR THIRD PERIOD
[Third Period]
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
NORRIS WITH A SECOND FACEOFF WIN AGAINST HOLLANOV
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
How is this guy shaking Hollanov on the faceoff with neutral greetings to his parents?
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Just a nice kid getting the faceoff win he deserves
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
If you say so man
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
I’m sorry is Shane harassing Barrett about proposing?? Now??? Sir? There is a? Hockey? Game?
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Get you a man who can do both
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Play hockey and yenta, all in one night
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Truly he can do it all
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Roz is skating his gorgeous booty off and his husband is just chatting on the bench?
Martina-tini @Tini90210
I cannot with Holly on the bench giving relationship advice I love gay hockey
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Shane Hollander says gay marriage is legal so whats your excuse for being unwed??
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Low key Barrett is right tho Harris is for sure listening to his giggling and kicking his feet
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Man is PHYSICALLY restraining himself from liking your post lollll
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
@Harris propose you coward 🫵
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Shane cheesing on the bench chatting shit to his friend about being scared to propose MONTREAL COULD NEVER
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
They did not deserve him I said what I said
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
OK but Rozy is right he’s been out there for like 90 seconds and Holly and Barrett have been chatting the whole time lol
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
And Norris with the homophobia call out on Rozanov, bro, you were doing so well
Martina-tini @Tini90210
He’s got the spirit, Ilya gave him a pass here
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Roz saying he scores after brunch if he gets lucky sir this is your WORKPLACE have some DECORUM
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Nah let the boy talk its fucking funny
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Lol and immediately the shot gets saved by the goalie, tragic
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
I’m sorry is NORRIS of all people out there chirping with Roz???
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Yeah who the FUCK is this guy and why the FUCK is he so funny?
Detroit is killing me slowly @Razmeupboi
Norris is my KING who is the SAVIOR of Detroit and I would kiss him on the mouth
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Really getting into the Ottawa spirit I see 👀
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
WOULD HAVE BEEN COOLER IF HE SCORED SIR YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Not Shane saying the F word 😂
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Ma’am he’s a married adult let him say fuck
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Politely asking Detroit to fuck off so he can comment on the hockey while playing the hockey I’m LOSING IT
Martina-tini @Tini90210
OK but like Shane swearing??? Where is @hockeygurl24 she must be dead
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
How is he getting HOTTER?????
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Nooooo Hollander broke his stick what the FUCK
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Roz has him we’re so OK
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
And Barrett asking for less stick talk 😂 man is tired of these gays
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
GUYS GUYS GUYS PLEASE DONT MURDER ME
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
@JoeJoeJoe I will kiss you on the mouth just to shut you tf up
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
🙊
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Shane is mad as hell here, mumbling to himself about how they broke his stick
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
OMG and he’s also going after their manners SHANE
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
My CANADIAN PRINCE SAYS BE POLITE GOOD LAWD
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Roz is so real for asking for a kiss for luck tho like 🥵 damn Hollander
Martina-tini @Tini90210
You know you’re still on the bar’s account
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
I said what I said #sorrynotsorry @ScottHunterHockey
Scott Hunter @ScottHunterHockey
Please leave out of this
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
LET THE MAN HAVE HIS BRUNCH PLEASE
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
BRUNCH BITCH OTTAWA 3-0
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Where’s Hollander with the kiss for Boodram??????
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
It’s the Grinning – ‘Oh no’ – Smooching husband combo for me you’re honor
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Oh and the ROASTING BARRETT WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE?????
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Wait do we think they’re serious like did Barrett have a thing for Hollander back in the day???
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Why is this a shock? Barrett has good taste??
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Good luck @TroyBarrettOfficial he’s very taken
Joe Says Play Hockey @JoeJoeJoe
Poor @TroyBarrettOfficial getting absolutely slandered by Hollanov tn smh
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
Aww Hollanov doing their thank you to the fans is so cute
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
OMG going to McDs after this is so insane from them Hollander lets Roz have what he wants
Martina-tini @Tini90210
Hollander thanking Roz for not saying anything insane and IMMEDAITELY ROZ SAYS SOMETHING INSANE
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
Harris said NO MORE
Martina-tini @Tini90210
What a way to end it, iconic
Centaurs #1 Fan @BluePurpleHair
I’m in stunned silence, they’re so unserious I cannot
Shane Hollander’s Princess @hockeygurl24
Hollander is gonna THROTTLE this man I love them
Mrs. Rozanova @BostonBitch1221
They are censoring my husband who just wants to love his husband???? The Crime? In this city??
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
Half price vodka drinks tonight in honor of the Centaurs win!
Kingfisher NYC @KingfisherNYC
“Line up my gays”-Rozanov, the only Roz quote we agree with!
Scott Hunter @ScottHunterHockey
Don’t encourage him, he’s a menace
Big Roz Energy @IlyaRozanov81
😘