Work Text:
Trinity slams the door to her apartment, not caring to lock it. It's three pm, four hours earlier than she normally gets out of work. Eight hour shifts are not her favorite.
Typically, both Dennis and Trinity work twelve hour shifts; starting at seven in the morning, ending at seven at night. They work three days a week for twelve consecutive hours.
Recently, Trinity's been feeling pretty burnt out, so she swapped her three twelve hour shifts for five eight hour shifts just for the week. Meaning she starts at seven in the morning with Dennis but ends at three in the afternoon.
Her apartment is walking distance from the Pitt so if Trinity has an eight hour shift, she normally drives home at three without Dennis and then he walks back to the apartment after his shift is over at seven.
--
Trinity leans back on her couch, mindlessly scrolling Instagram. Her feed is filled with stupid videos about politics, pictures of celebrities half her age that have achieved more already than she will in her entire life and the occasional cute cat video. She turns off her phone and covers her face with her hands.
Eight hour shifts are the worst. Not enough extra time to get anything done but enough extra time to drive you stir crazy. She needed to do something productive, but what?
Trinity scans the living room for something to do when her eyes catch on the television. Sometimes after a hard day, she'll put on an old Disney movie and let nostalgia overtake her; only when she's alone of course. That is one of the benefits of eight hour shifts.
--
Every person that works in the Pitt has some sort of way to relieve stress. Whether going out for occasional smoke breaks during your shift, taking a few minutes in the stairwell to decompress, or snapping at your coworkers, everyone relieves stress in a different way.
For Trinity, age regression seems to be that stress reliever; reverting to a childlike state of mind in order to feel safer. While she only ever regresses at home when she's alone, it seems to take a lot of her stress away.
--
Trinity lets out a sigh before getting up and walking to her room. Once in her room she grabbed a few important things; her pink baby blankie, her weighted Snoopy plush that smells like lavender, and her light blue Rainbowdash themed pacifier.
When Trinity makes it back to the living room, she moves her Snoopy and blankie to the couch, placing the pacifier carefully on the coffee table.
Trinity heads to the kitchen to make herself a snack before she gets too deep in the headspace.
She pours some goldfish crackers into a bowl and fills a blue sippy cup with water. Trinity places them on the coffee table in the living room before returning to her bedroom; there she peels off her scrubs and throws them into the laundry basket.
Trinity picks out an oversized Garfield shirt and grey pajama shorts. Normally when she regresses, she'll wear a pull up as well but with the threat of Dennis coming home soon, Trinity doesn't want to put herself in a bad position.
Returning to the living room, Trinity puts on Winnie the Pooh and snuggles into the couch; legs curled up to her chest. She takes her blankie from the couch and wraps it around her shoulders. She places Snoopy in her lap and places the teat of the pacifier in her mouth.
She sucks on her pacifier for a bit, letting out a sigh of relief. Everything was perfect.
For the next hour, Trinity watches the movie and eats her snacks, completely oblivious to the world around her.
This little break she gave herself was wonderful. She should probably do this more often, maybe–her thoughts were cut off by the quiet noise of her apartment door opening.
She'd forgotten to lock the door! She always locks the door so there's a brief warning before Dennis comes back, she must've forgotten!
Dennis enters the apartment quietly, just in case Trinity is sleeping.
A million thoughts race through her head; escape plans, apologies, explanations.
“Hey Trin, I'm-” Trinity turns her head, startled by the sudden noise, causing Dennis to make direct eye contact with her.
Trinity immediately spits the pacifier out of her mouth. “Shit.”
Before she can even process what's happened, she gathers all of her things and runs to her room, slamming the door.
She balls herself up against the door like she used to do so many times when she was a little girl. Blocking anyone from trying to get in.
This doesn't feel as safe as it did a few moments ago. Now it just feels like she really is the scared little girl hiding from her parents so they don't do any further damage to her little body.
Trinity hugs Snoopy tightly to her chest. How could things go so wrong? Now all she feels is vulnerability and fear.
“Hey, Trin, can we talk?” Dennis asks, clearly not knowing the current headspace she's in.
Trinity doesn't respond. Maybe if he doesn't hear her he won't try to hurt her.
“Trinity, I know you're in there” Dennis prods.
She doesn't quite understand why but tears start to blur her vision and her throat feels tight. She holds tighter onto Snoopy.
“If you're having some sort of problem, I'm-” Trinity begins to scream over him at the top of her lungs. The only way she really knows how to get people to stop. Her screams sound small and broken but they do convey the message.
“What has gotten into you? Why in the world are you acting like this?” Dennis asks accusingly.
Trinity picks up her sippy cup and throws it at the wall. She doesn't know how to handle big emotions without having violent outbursts.
Fueled with confusion, anger and concern; Dennis is able to force her door open just enough so he can slip into her room.
He looks down to see a balled up Trinity pressed against the door. Taken aback by the sight, Dennis rubs the bridge of his nose and takes a breath. “Hey, what's going on?” he asks, sitting down on the floor next to Trinity.
Trinity looks up at him, face puffy and red from crying. “I don't know” she whispers, a bit distraught.
“What were you doing before I came home?” Dennis asks, a bit softer than before.
“Hmmmm” Trinity whines, burying her head into her knees.
“Don’t want to talk about it?” Dennis asks, attempting to get at least a few pieces of the answer.
“Nuh-uh” Trinity shakes her head, still pressed into her knees.
Dennis has to think for a bit. He has to phrase this next question very carefully or Trinity will shut down.
“Are you embarrassed?”
Trinity looks up at Dennis, her eyes shining with tears. “Mmm-hm” she nods her head slightly.
“I promise I won't be mad, I'm just…confused” Dennis states.
She takes a big breath before letting out an even bigger sigh. “I don't know if I have the right words to explain it”
“That's okay, just do your best” Dennis encourages.
“Um…so, sometimes - and I have no idea why, I feel a lot….smaller than usual” Trinity explains, taking increasingly longer pauses in between words.
“Okay, okay” Dennis comments, processing the new information.
“Sometimes it comes out of the blue but most of the time it's when I'm tired or upset” She continues.
“I see” Dennis makes sure to keep responding after Trinity says something so she knows that he's not silently judging her. “Would you consider this to be a trauma response, a coping mechanism…both?”
“I don't know. Maybe both?” She's never really taken the time to ask herself this question so she doesn't really have an answer.
“Do you like it when you feel smaller?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes it feels really nice and safe” Trinity murmurs. “But sometimes it doesn't because it makes me feel small and vulnerable.”
“That makes sense.” Dennis reaches out to grab Trinity's pacifier, sippy cup and blankie that she discarded while in a panic. “Do you have a name for this smaller feeling?”
“It's called age regression if you wanna do more research” Trinity sighs, worried that she's going to lose her best friend and roommate over a stupid problem with her brain.
“I think I've heard a bit about it” Dennis says, messing with Trinity's pacifier in his hands.
Trinity lightens at the response. Maybe this wasn't going to be the end.
“I can do a bit of research if you want me to” He offers, pulling out his phone.
“Sure, if you want to” Trinity is really trying not to come off too strong.
“Sounds good” Dennis stands up, offering his hand to Trinity. “Why don’t we go get a snack first”
Trinity reluctantly takes his hand, her legs feeling unstable beneath her.
The two walk to the kitchen together. Dennis gets Trinity to sit down on one of the countertop stools while he prepares a snack.
While making Trinity her second snack of the evening; Dennis attempts to process all of the information.
“I don't want to overwhelm her with support but I also don't want her to feel like she's alone” He thinks while cutting up an apple.
Trinity anxiously chews on the corner of her blankie that Dennis had given back to her.
“Trinity's super independent and I don't want to try and usurp that, especially when she's in such a vulnerable way” He refills her sippy cup with water.
Dennis slides the sippy cup across the counter into Trinity's hands. “What're we gonna do with you kid?” He asks rhetorically, moving the plate of apples to the middle of the counter .
Trinity shyly takes an apple slice and slowly takes tiny nibbles of it while Dennis pulls out his phone and starts researching.
After about fifteen minutes of light research, Dennis pretty much understands all he needs to know for now; Trinity will occasionally revert to a childlike state either voluntarily or not because of trauma she's faced. She has little control over the regression as it's something that can happen when her brain gets overwhelmed.
“Trin, do you want me to help support you in any way?” Dennis asks, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?” Trinity vocalizes.
“Like in the sense of someone to help care for you when you're feeling smaller.” He explains.
“I don't want a Daddy.” Trinity states.
“Well what about something like a brother?”
She has to think for a minute. It might help to have someone that could help her when she's small. And a brother would be a lot better than a parent…“We can try”.
While Dennis has no idea where to start, he knows that he can try his best for Trinity. “Do you want to go sit on the couch?” He knows it's late and that she's probably going to crash soon.
“Mmm-hm” she mumbles, sticking her Rainbowdash pacifier back into her mouth.
“This is a good sign, she trusts you enough to have her pacifier again” Dennis tells himself.
Once on the couch, Dennis puts my little pony on the tv (taking note of Trinity's pacifier). He pulls Trinity next to him as the show starts.
She slips further and further as the minutes pass. By the end of the episode, Trinity is asleep in Dennis's lap.
He doesn't bother trying to get her up and back to bed. They both had the day off tomorrow anyway.