Chapter Text
“I’m not leaving until I know who’s taking baby Jane Doe for the night !” yelled Dana across the ER.
She tiredly took a seat at the nurses' station while looking around expecting for someone to react or even better volunteer. She exalted sharply and put her head in her hands.
“I might end up smuggling her into someone’s bag. For all I care, I just don’t want her alone here tonight. No offense to the night team, but they don’t seem to have the kind of energy matching for soothing a baby to sleep.”
As if to emphasize her point, the night team had just finished their pep talk with Abbot and were letting out howling and barking while dispatching to go save some lives, startling on their way some patients waiting for chambers in the corridor and making a nurse raise an eyebrow in their direction.
“See ? I would surely trust them with my life but making sure the baby has a good night's sleep, not sure if it’s their priority.” Dana stated.
“Can’t blame them, tonight’s looking like it might be as crazy as today.” McKay was sitting not far tapping in a final period on her charting.
She pushed herself from under the desk to roll her chair closer to Dana. “We’re not done with the fireworks incidents yet. How I’m wishing right now that 4th July traditions was more something about eating pizza with a glass of wine in front of the TV.” she exhaled.
“Even if it was the case there would still be accidents, we’d have numerous pizza guys colliding into each other while delivering or people chocking on chunks of pineapples too big on their slices. We’re here to catch anyone who is in need, no matter the situation or stupid things they might have done. Care first, then maybe reprimand a little about the stupid things. But all you can do now to help all these people is taking the rest of the night for yourself to rest and be back tomorrow ready to take over.” said Dana offering a comforting smile to McKay.
“Yeah… We both know that damn well don’t we ?” she responded with a smile she let fade as she kept speaking. “Today was one of those days when everything seems too much, hope the next one will take its time to happen.”
McKay got up from her chair, pushing herself with both hands on the armrests.
“I’m going up to see the fireworks with the others. Are you coming or still looking for a babysitter ? I can ask people on the roof if anyone has the crazy 4th July resolution to adopt a baby ?” she chuckled lightly.
“Well it might be Robby’s.” said someone right next to them.
They both turned their heads to see Mohan hunching over the counter to put down some files.
“He told me about missing out on having a wife and kids.” she explained seeing her colleagues' confused faces. “The first part is not my problem and I don’t wish anyone to have to deal with the emotional mess he is in terms of relationships.”
They could feel that she was heavyhearted. Dana wanted to offer a reassuring hand to the young doctor but she still seemed pretty heated.
“Can you believe that guy ? He keeps pestering me about going into geriatrics, like it was already a done deal ! Like…” she stopped herself in her ranting. “Whatever, I don’t want to go through this conversation again.” she grumbled. “Though a baby I know exactly where to find one for him. After all, he has like three months in front of him for his trip. It can wait one more night.”
Dana couldn’t quite decide if Mohan was trying to care for Robby’s mental well-being or just trying to sabotage him. Probably a bit of both, even if she was now not in the right place to admit she cared.
“I’ll be there in a minute.” said Dana addressing McKay who was already turning toward the elevators with an amused smile on her face, giving her a thumb up. “That’s not a terrible suggestion after all.”
“Does he actually know how to care for a baby though ? Sure he can be reassuring, talk softly to them, it’s good for making babies take a nap but more than that ? Is he like gonna bring her home on his motorbike ? Holding the baby in one hand while the other is driving ?” Mohan laughed, arms crossed.
Dana actually started to like the idea of Robby having to care about something else than his spiritual self-destructing quest he called a sabbatical.
She remarked. “Well maybe not that, but it’s only for one night, right ? Isn’t a night sleep just a long nap ? I don’t see why he wouldn’t qualify for the job. We just need to convince him somehow...”
“We ? No no no, that’s none of my business. I can’t stand another disappointing look from Robby for tonight.” Mohan held a hand as to stop Dana from elaborating more.
“Oh honey, he’s not disappointing in you. But he did go rough on you today, didn’t he ?” Dana tried to get a little closer to her bummed-out co-worker. “That is one of his ways of caring, not a good way of doing it of course, but he’s not trying to push you away from the ER.”
“It’s looking a lot like it.” Mohan was not ready yet to let herself be reasoned with her anger. She needed to feel it for a little longer, use it as fuel to avoid breaking apart again before getting home.
She sighed. “I’m gonna follow McKay to the roof, see you there ?”
“Sure kid.” Dana replied with a faint smile.
Dana watched her leave with a bit of sadness. But she knew deep down that she was going to be okay and she just needed to realize it herself.
She had second thoughts for a moment, remembering the day’s events. After everything Robby had told her today, was shoving a baby in his arms really a good idea ?
Yesterday she wouldn’t have hesitated to trust him with that task. However, as the start of his sabbatical drew closer, she saw him sinking into a more and more distressed state.
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She needed to go check with Abbot first. It was not a one-person job to deal with Robby’s temper. And she was desperately looking for backup.
The man was not hard to find, erupting from one of the wards, removing and throwing bloody gloves into a bin before using hand sanitizer.
Feeling Dana’s gaze upon him, he lifted his head towards her and somehow understood she needed a word with him. She had that special expression, eyebrows slightly frowned in worry and eyes saying “we have to talk about Robby”. Which may seem to be their favorite subject to bring up together if it wasn’t almost always out of necessity. He crossed the ER towards the nurses station and leaned on the counter.
“I managed to talk to him between patients, he’s really not great.” Abbot said before pinching his lips together.
He was not used to seeing his friend so gloomy. Even if when they are both on the roof, it was for exchanging about their struggles and letting their guards down for a bit, it was still with a bit of a tough facade and jokes about it. Helping each other going through it all, like they had always managed. He knew there was a breach in Robby’s usual composure recently and for the first time since the Covid period he found himself feeling helpless in front of his friend’s struggles. He got dragged out of his pondering when he heard:
“I think what he needs is a baby.” Dana let out in need of a second opinion.
“... A what ?” Abbot shifted on the counter, not sure if he had heard right.
“I’m still not sure whether this is a really good idea or not, that’s why I wanted to talk to you about it. You know the lovely baby Jane Doe found in the bathroom this morning ?” Dana started explaining. “We could really use someone taking her in for a night. For a bit more comforting place than the hellhole it can be here sometimes.”
“I won’t argue with that. Why Robby though ? I’m not really sure that he’s in a state to even take care of himself right now.” Abbot replied.
“It would be for only one night. You know the man, when did he ever take care of himself first before helping others ? And I would be lying if I didn’t admit that knowing him away from that bike for one more day wouldn’t be a relief.” she argued.
Abbot reflected on the idea while checking around to see if Robby was not eavesdropping nearby.
What could go wrong ? Lots of things in fact, but he didn’t have a clear list of them ready in his mind, so he could disregard it. He decided to play along with the idea.
“Fine, but coming from us he would never accept. We probably used up all of our attempts for the next 24 hours to lecture him about what’s good for him.” stated Abbot.
The last words he had exchanged with Robby the last time he saw him were ones of the deepest they’d had in a long time. He wasn’t sure that following up casually with suggesting him to take in a baby as moral support would land successfully.
“I guess we just have to make him think the idea’s his or make someone else ask, someone he hasn’t had a fall-out with today.” Dana responded, it might not be as easy at it usually is, she thought to herself.
Abbot straightened up and crossed his arms. “We put up a baby trap then ?” he inquired.
“I think he’s already inclined to now more than ever. He confessed being bitter about not having funded a family sooner in his life to Mohan earlier.” Dana leaned back on her chair, fidgeting with a pen.
Abbot raised his eyebrows. “He said that ? He really went strong today with the sharing. I almost feel bad for using this information against him. But hey, great evils, great means. It might even be more effective than we think. What if he never returns the baby ?” inquired Abbot.
“Not sure, but at least you wouldn’t struggle as much to take the lead back at every night shift taking over. He will be running home in no time.” Dana exclaimed, smiling.
She let herself smile at that idea. She always saw Robby being great with kids, always treating them kindly even in the middle of a hurricane with a playful smile on his face.
Jake could have testified, Robby had always been there for him through ups and downs, even after breaking up with his mom. No hard feelings left. They stick together even after Jake’s girlfriend's death. He stayed mad at Robby for some time after the horrific events but eventually let him in again, realizing he needed his support more than keeping him away.
Now with Abbot’s approval of the plan, she was ready to make it work.
“For now Robby’s not around, left looking for Langdon I think. I’m going up on the roof checking on the others staying to watch the fireworks. Do you think in the meantime you could have a nurse prepare a ready-to-go bag with the essentials for the baby ?” she asked.
Abbot cooperative nodded. Dana was up on her feet with a new energy provided by putting her stratagem into action.
“And then I’ll ask Robby to go do one last exam on her before leaving. Probably after complaining one last time about no one taking the baby to spare her from the night-shift team howling sessions.” She concluded, leaving his sides and making her way to the elevators.
“Come again ?” Abbot argued, but he knew he would not get an answer.
He watched Dana disappear at the corner and let out an amused sigh. This service was really lucky to have her. Not only was she the best at her job, but she did it while caring so much about everyone around her.
“My brother, hope you’re ready to make the road and the Bonneville wait more.” he whispered, his eyes searching the room for a nurse available.
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Langdon’s words were still lingering in Robby’s mind when he entered the pedes room. He had been drawn by the baby’s cries. It was something he felt like he could do right. Comfort a baby.
After the conversation he had with the golden boy, he was hoping it had been his last conflict of the day. So many people had looked at him today with anger, frustration, betrayal and, the worst of all, worry.
He needed to get out soon before something ruptured in him. But for the last hours, he dragged himself around doing stuff he each considered was the last thing to do to make sure everything would not collapse during his absence.
Still while feeling his whole self could crash at any minute without warning.
He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands before pushing the door in front of him. The inside of the room was way quieter than his thoughts. It took him a brief moment to get accustomed to it.
Dana had texted him, urging him to go check on the baby before clocking out. Which seems not necessary considering she’s been keeping a close eye on baby Jane Doe all day, she wouldn’t have missed anything being wrong with her. But he thought it was the least he could do to assure Dana to get home with her mind at peace.
After the mess he had been in today, he owned her that.
Across the room, Abbot had seen Robby disappearing into the room.
“He took the bait.” he said triumphant.
Dana, who had just emerged from the elevators, followed his gaze and raised her eyebrows. “He’s in ?”
“Just now, all we can do is sit back and let the magic happen.” But his feet were already moving in the direction of an exam room. “Well actually, only you can do that, I need to get back out there. Good job. Keep me posted.”
“Yes sir.” she answered, rising a hand in his direction as to keep a promise just as Abbot was leaving.
Her eyes were still on the pedes door. A nurse got out of the room, switching the lights off on his way, which meant Robby was now in there alone with the baby. The cries had stopped.
She caught the nurse not far from where he had just exited, joining him on his way to the nursery.
“Are you going back to the pedes room ? I might have a favor to ask you.” she said with a hand on the man's shoulder.
“Sure, I’m going back to bring Robby a bottle for the baby.” he answered.
“You think you could suggest he take the baby home tonight ? He might not be thrilled at first, but that baby's cute face will help him make his decision. It will be a big favor for me, but even more for our little protégé.” she said, leaning towards him as to make him part of the plotting.
The nurse nodded with a polite smile agreeing to bring it up subtly. Dana thanked him and let him keep going on his track.
She was then back to her spot, staring at the pedes closed door. She didn’t know what was happening inside. She noticed too that it was as time had stopped in just this place. Emergencies kept flooding. Doctors shouting directions, carts being dragged room to room, some phone rigging were part of the usual melody of the emergency department. But none of that seemed to affect the calm that had settled in the pedes room.
She replayed in her head everything that had happened with Robby during today’s shift. Rare were the days they argued so much. She was still very pissed at him and would not miss proving him wrong the first chance she got but it could wait. Tonight was certainly not prawn to resolve deep issues but more about keeping Robby’s head out of the water.
One small step at a time.
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Robby hummed along with the soft music still playing on his phone. His checks were still wet from the tears.
The baby was asleep on his shoulder, but he didn’t put her back in the crib and instead kept rocking her gently. He couldn’t let go of her yet.
For a moment he had forgotten about everything around him. The room. The animals painted on the walls. His shift which ended hours ago. The road. The sabbatical.
He only focused on her slow breathing. He started mimicking it himself, like he remembered he could breathe slowly. Take the time to let the air fill his lungs and exhale lengthily.
A warmth diffused in his chest, knowing that at this very moment she was safe. And he was the reason for it.
He was doing the only things he was sure he could do. Care for someone’s physical well-being. He had the feeling he screwed up so many things today and that it would have been for the best that he just disappeared, riding far away from everyone.
He had passed down everything he felt fundamental to his team and had no doubt they will all be okay at the end. Sure, shitty days would still happen, but at the end of the day they had each others, to go out and loosen up or just to wish a good night. Knowing that the next day they’d be welcomed back with smiles and warm coffee before the beginning of the shift.
But he couldn’t consider this scenario for himself. He didn’t think he deserved it anymore.
He clenched the little one in his arms. Almost imperceptibly not to wake her up. He wanted to keep the feeling of warmth a little longer. She was like an anchor to him after the calamity the day had been.
He turned his head towards the door when he heard a soft knock. The nurse from earlier was back, bottle in hand. He wasn’t gone for long, but to Robby it had felt like half an hour. This is what the Pitt does to a man. When you get used to the emergency service's constant rush, a few minutes of quiet seems like eternity.
“The little sprout is finally asleep ?” said the nurse, melting just a bit at the sight of her.
Robby didn’t manage to say anything, still lingering in that state of peace he never quite managed to reach.
He grabbed the bottle offered to him, thanking the man with a nod.
“Well, it might not be wise to wake her up now, it can wait a little. We should take the opportunity of her sleeping to move her to another place. You might be aware we’re looking for someone to take her in for the night.” he took a brief pause, like he was looking for the right words for what he was about to say.
“What do you think about taking her home and bringing her back tomorrow ?” he finally offered.
Robby blinked a few times, starring at the man who had just suggested to him the craziest thing he heard that day.
He then lowered his gaze to the peaceful baby in his arms.
He still wasn’t feeling like letting go and the more he looked at her the less it felt crazy to him. The fatigue might be blinding his judgment.
He was a mess. Nothing in his home was babyproof. He had no bed suitable for a baby.
Not many things had felt right to him for a long time. Bringing a baby home felt right at that instant.
Robby gave his answer in a quiet, peaceful whisper.
“Sure, I can do that.”