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though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Summary:

No one will say anything outright about Ahsoka Tano, so Myles learns who she is in pauses, in silent looks, in cut off thoughts.

Sometimes a form is defined by the empty space around it.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

No one will talk about Ahsoka Tano.

No one will talk about Ahsoka Tano, so Myles learns who she is in absences, in pauses, in shifty looks. His children, generally, try not to lie to him. Sometimes their stories do not line up when it comes to their past, but the big details always match, and many of the small, irrelevant details match, too. The words that they aren't careful about—those, especially, always match.

Ahsoka is not a Ghost, and she has never been a Ghost. This is true in both the way that Cody calls people Ghosts and the way Elmga calls people ghosts, Myles is pretty sure. Obi-Wan has gotten Ben and Anakin to admit that she was Torrent's commander, and this lines up with Myles's observations. Rex seems to have known Ahsoka very well. Cody does not.

Ahsoka Tano was not a Jedi Master. She was around Korkie's age; he mentioned it once, that she had gone to his school when he was seventeen. Myles is unclear as to whether Ahsoka was a Jedi at all—what he does know, though, is that everyone who knows her is fiercely loyal to her memory.

Ahsoka Tano may have been Doctor Tano's kid, but on this, Myles is not entirely sure. Doctor Tano is very secretive in some ways, and too honest in others. Doctor Tano had a child, but their name was Omega, and he misses them terribly (Myles is not sure if this child is a boy or a girl or both or neither or simply Mandalorian, he gets a different answer from Cody, Rex, Doctor Tano, and Korkie. He supposes it does not actually matter until he meets them, if he ever does). Doctor Tano is fond of Ahsoka Tano, and they share a clan name, but it is...a more distant fondness. Myles is not sure if that means she was a more distant relative, or if she died a while ago, and Doctor Tano's grief for Ahsoka is not quite so fresh as it is for Omega. Myles is not sure if that's how grieving a child works, but Myles has never lost a child.

(The way that Doctor Tano acts is very similar to how Myles's parents acted when Throckmorton disappeared, Myles thinks, but he is not entirely sure on that either. Myles was very young at the time, and Throckmorton had come back, eventually.)

(Myles wonders if Ahsoka or Omega will come back, eventually.)

Myles is pretty sure that Ahsoka Tano was Sokanith's first parent, or at least her progenitor. Everyone who knew Ahsoka Tano looks at Sokanith when they refrain from mentioning Ahsoka. Ghost and Torrent protect each other, that is something the boys say often. Rex, Jinani, and Ben are fiercely protective of Sokanith. Cody, Korkie, and Doctor Tano are indulgent of her, often overly so. All of them seem to do it to the point of apology, as though they are making up for a past mistake, like they are begging forgiveness of someone they can't actually reach.

Ahsoka Tano was a teenaged commander in a war, leading other children to their death. Myles knows what teenagers in high-stakes situations are like—he'd been one, once, though comparing a bounty hunter to a war commander was like comparing a stunner to an anti-spacecraft missile. When it gets to be too much, they make stupid, reckless decisions.

If Ahsoka Tano was one of Korkie's peers, then she'd be about Myles's age now. A little older, or a little younger, perhaps—Korkie had not specified where they'd ranked in age, his story had not even been about her, really, but about the first rebel group he'd created, and how they'd all met in school. The Friends of Ahsoka Tano, a collection of young adults who had been so inspired by the young commander that they'd tried to overthrow a government in her memory.

(It hadn't worked. Korkie, at the very least, had died, and Korkie believes he'd heard the deaths of at least three others, but he could never be sure. It's an uncertainty that keeps him up at night, painting or drinking or playing hallikset until the early hours of the morning. Ahsoka would have saved them, Korkie had said once, deep into a bottle of Concordian wine. Ahsoka would have been a much better leader than he was, Ahsoka had saved them all in school and she would have saved them again, and don't tell Sokanith I told you this story, don't tell Sokanith that all of Ahsoka's friends failed her—)

Myles wondered if Ahsoka would be proud of how he was raising Sokanith, or if she'd be resentful that it was him, and not Korkie or Doctor Tano. He wondered if Sokanith would have younger siblings if Ahsoka had survived, had managed to escape the war with Ben and Jinn and the others. He wondered about Sokanith's other birth parent, who they were, what they might think, if they even knew (Sokanith used to call out when she was upset for someone named 'Plo.' Had that been her other progenitor? Another young soldier who used to take care of her? The boys were even less forthcoming about Plo than they were about Ahsoka). One was...not supposed to think about the parents who came before you, about what they wanted, what they believed, but Myles couldn't help it. He wished he'd known them.

(He wondered if it had been easier for Jaster, or if it had been harder, knowing Jango's parents. Had Jaster tried to raise Jango into someone they could be proud of? Had Jaster been arguing over every decision with them in his head? Myles only had ghosts and echoes to prove himself against, and he didn't know them well enough for them to talk back.)

"My'ah!"

Myles jumped as Sokanith startled him out of his thoughts. She'd slapped her hands on his knees, and was glaring at him with the intense, wide-eyed concentration that meant she was going to cause trouble if he didn't pay attention.

"Yes, Snip'ika?" he asked.

Her glare turned more pouty as she tried to think of how to say what she wanted. She was getting better at Mando'a, but she was still reluctant to talk in front of Myles, though he heard her talk a lot more often to other children, especially Rex.

"Play with me?" she asked, and it was in Mando'a. "Play Lasan Logs?"

Myles glanced down at the report he'd been ignoring for the last twenty minutes.

Technically, he wasn't even supposed to be working for another four months. And Jango wouldn't be here until after dinner, anyway.

"Sure," he said. "We can play Lasan Logs."

He set the holopad on the caf table, and followed Sokanith over to her toys.

He didn't know Ahsoka Tano, but he couldn't help but hope she'd approve of how he raised Sokanith.

Notes:

I don't think this one fits with the current timeline that I'm going with for 100 hours, so to the inspired series it goes!

Edit: for clarity, Doctor Kix Tano is the name Kix is going by in this au.