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How fucking stupid could he be?
The thought chased Avery as he sprinted back across the craggy, moss crowned peaks away from the gargantuan tree until it started to fade in the render distance. Stupid, stupid, stupid— the words pounded alongside his heart. His fingers trembled on the keyboard as he jumped, instinct carrying him true. Instinct that had failed him, though, when it had come to D3rlo— no, to Derek’s words.
Derek. Derek. Why the fuck had he lied? They were supposed to be a team. Avery was supposed to save him, he needed to save him. He could. He could. It couldn’t be too late, because if it was, he’d never forgive himself.
As he passed through the yellow door he’d come through, he arrived back in the large hall lined with bridges connecting paired yellow gates. He paused, though, before plunging through the door all the worlds had been leading towards.
He knew it was a bad idea. His instincts were screaming that it was a bad idea, in fact. The hairs on the back of his neck had risen as he faced down that final door, the last gateway to… well, he wasn’t sure what. The king, maybe. Derek, almost certainly. The latter is what mattered, though.
Avery wasn’t sure why he cared so much. He’d been so busy chasing after him, elated when he found him, desperate to save him, that he hadn’t really taken the time to consider why. Why he’d spent most of New Year’s Eve looking for someone he didn’t actually know. Why he’d stayed, why he’d pressed forward, why he’d kept playing. Hell, why he’d kept this cursed world in the first place. Why he’d kept Minecraft installed, even. All for… what?
No, no. For him. It had been for him. For Derek, someone who’d never met him but had done so much to try and save him. For Derek, who was stuck at his computer, unable to look away. For Derek, who was so clever, and so brave, and so strong, and so alone. For Derek, who he barely knew. A stranger, anonymous behind the darkness of his helm. A person he only knew from their username and Minecraft skin and his typed words. A ghost clinging to life with stubborn fists, slowly but inevitably losing their grip.
Avery knew it was a bad idea.
He went through the door anyways.
He ran across the plains of rolling grey stone shrouded with clumps of unnaturally dark trees, looking for a sign— he could see the glow of lights in the distance, so he hurried to the nearest ridge to get a better view. Across the river before him was a small city, made up of buildings that reminded him of movies set in medieval times, all lit up with an eerie yellow glow and nestled into the jutting ridges of the cliff. A winding path lead through their ranks to a truly huge silhouette on the horizon— the cathedral, more implication than building at this distance, loomed menacingly like a spiny beast with yellow glass eyes that shone in the twilight.
Avery barely spared the scenery a second thought, jumping and sprinting his way across the blocky landscape. It was weird, how immersive it felt. How real it felt, even though it was just a game. How scared it made him, even though it was just a game.
Was it just a game, at this point? After thinking about it for a second, he decided he didn’t think it was.
The cathedral framed in another large yellow door. He rushed past the threshold, down the great arched hall, past the statues and detailed stonework, to the end where it opened into a giant square. As he arrived at its center he spun around, looking for something, anything, and then—
Then Avery wasn’t in the cathedral anymore.
There was darkness, and in that darkness was eyes, yellow eyes all looking down at the floating podium he’d found himself on. He started, in real life, but his jumpy nerves were soothed as he saw Derek’s familiar form, confronting an eyeball so large that the others looked small in comparison, dwarfed in its dark pupil. He was so close he could almost reach out and punch him. Which he did.
<AveryTheMayo: what the fuck?>
His fingers flew across the keyboard in a flurry of movement so fast and so angry that it was a miracle he hadn’t misspelled anything. He didn’t care about the eyes, or the platform with the yellow squiggles, or the void. He glared at Derek through the screen, as if somehow he could tell, gaze flickering between the chat window and his avatar.
Wait. The chat window— hang on, had Derek been typing to himself in here? Those were new messages right?
Avery blinked as he read. What was this all caps thing? Something about waking as one…
<D3rlord3: Avery you need to go>
<AveryTheMayo: not without you>
Derek walked right up in his face. Avery inched back, staring into the few voxels of darkness that picked out the gap in the helmet like he could find something beyond them.
<D3rlord3: You need to leave right now>
<D3rlord3: I’ll find you after this and I’ll explain everything I promise, but you need to close the game>
His heart pounded in his throat, breathing growing ragged at the edges as panic began to set in.
<AveryTheMayo: no u wont>
<D3rlord3: Avery please>
<AveryTheMayo: i’m not leaving without you i dont knwo what youre doing but im not going to leave without you>
Tears prickled in his eyes, but he furiously blinked them away. He needed to be able to see, to read, to— to make sure something didn’t happen. He could hear the sounds of fireworks starting to go off, but he ignored them.
<D3rlord: Avery PLEASE OR WE’LL BOTH DIE>
The screen began to hurt a little to look at, the pain and discomfort like someone turned the brightness up, only it wasn’t brightness so much as something else, something without a word for it. Derek hit him with his axe, pushing him back, the wood splintering into pixel debris that was soon swallowed by the void. Derek was left empty handed, but soon closed the distance, pushing in closer to Avery again.
Panic rose like a tide, desperation welling like blood blooming from a wound. In those despair filled depths, though, was a glimmer of an idea.
Avery wouldn’t call himself smart. Usually the opposite, really. Trying to solve the puzzles for this stupid world had left him with a notebook full of chicken scratch and scribbles, most of which had been written over or x’d out, and he’d given up basically every time in favor of stubborness or meandering. He was nothing like Derek, who was so smart that in comparison he felt even dumber than he normally did. Derek, who’d decided in all his cleverness that the best ending was to bind the King to him, or something like that, using that… thing. That phrase.
Avery knew it was a bad idea. But he didn’t have a lot of options, and his impulse control had always been really bad.
He hit enter anyways.
<AveryTheMayo: I STAND AND GIVE MY EYES TO YOU. ONE BY ONE. SHADOWED SHORE FAR UNDONE. WAKE ME. AS ONE.>
There was a second of entirely unremarkable silence, then—
<D3rlord3: ?????>
<D3rlord3: avery what the FUCK>
…had it done anything? It didn’t feel any different. He typed a reply.
<AveryTheMayo: idk i thought it could help or somethinh>
<D3rlord: you thought that giving it what it wants would help???>
His cheeks flushed. A ringing started in his ears, but he didn’t know if it was from the fireworks or something else.
<AveryTheMayo: I thought that two people at once would maybe make it break or smth>
<AveryTheMayo: make it crash kinda?? Idk>
No, that ringing definitely wasn’t from the fireworks. It hurt, like a headache growing exponentially worse.
Derek was still for long enough that worry began to creep in again, but eventually he moved, punching Avery closer to the edge.
<D3rlord3: Close the game>
<D3rlord3: please>
<D3rlord3: I can’t let you die not after everything>
<D3rlord3: ill be okay
<AveryTheMayo: I can’t let YOU die!!1!
It was starting to become almost unbearable to look at the screen, but Avery hit Derek back anyway, unwilling to budge. The world around them began to glitch, shuddering with momentary ghosts of the worlds within its multitudes in bright flashes. The eyes, hanging in the void around them, began to degrade, crumbling away at the edges like they were being eaten or corroded.
<D3rlord3: i don’t know what going to happen but>
<D3rlord3: Avery PLEASE you need to go>
The tears spilled over, tracing trails down Avery’s cheeks. The fireworks outside sent a spray of pink glittering in the droplets that clung to his eyelashes, just in the corner of his vision. He didn’t dare let go of the keyboard or the mouse for long enough to wipe his eyes, though. He tightly clutched his mouse like it was Derek’s hand, as if through stubbornness alone he could keep him from leaving.
Why did people always leave him? A quiet, aching part whispered.
Interesting, another part hummed in reply, apathy touched by intrigue. It felt wrong, a shivery, slippery sort of feeling, like a splinter that had slipped its way under his skin, too far to retrieve but too noticeable to forget. He pushed it all aside with a little shake of his head.
<AveryTheMayo: i wont>
<AveryTheMayo: im not going to leave you derek>
His friend— did he know him enough to claim that?— stared at him, beginning to twitch, keeping Avery pinned between the void beyond the platforms edge and his own form.
<D3rlord3: Avery whats in your inventory>
Hope bloomed, and Avery took a deep inhale as its buoyancy lifted some of the weight in his chest. His spiral into hyperventilation was cut off, and he gasped for air like he’d been drowning for real, instead of the reality that it was because he was too much in his own head.
He had an idea. Derek had an idea. He wanted to cling to him, to laugh, to keep crying, but he didn’t dare crush that little sprout of hope. They could do it. They could get out, together.
He pressed tab, a half sob of relief escaping his throat, and then—
Tkk.
Avery didn’t think, he just reacted, closing his inventory and swinging with his wooden sword a fraction of a second before he flew backwards into the abyss.
“FUCK!” The word, raw with anger and grief and betrayal, tore itself from him in a ragged yell as he fell down, down, down. He shoved away from his desk, unable to keep it all inside.
Barely visible, a few loose blocks and drips of exp spilled from the platforms edge. The screen went dark.
<You died!
AveryTheMayo fell from a high place>
But there, in the bottom left corner in the chat, before his own death message, was…
<D3rlord3 was slain by AveryTheMayo>
Wait. Had it—?
He didn’t get to finish the thought.
Thunk.
It was a dull, heavy sound, coming from one of the apartments above his. It was loud too— a little sickeningly so, and so much that he wondered if he should go up and see if everyone was alright. If that had been a person, that would… if…
A chill ran down his spine, and he got up out of his chair so fast that it fell over. He ignored it, heart hammering in his ears as he scrambled towards the front door, fumbling to unplug his phone and snatching his keys from the bowl on the little table by the door in a metallic cacophony. He didn’t even bother locking his apartment door, instead racing to the stairwell, shoving past its door and going up the stairs two at a time, nearly eating shit in the process. Miraculously he maintained his balance, and emerged into the hallway of the third floor, filled with long rows of identical doors, differentiated only by number.
He looked down the hall in either direction, panic welling with no clear place to start. After an uneven breath, he half walked, half ran to the apartment that was directly above his— 307, to his 207. He knocked with a rhythm that was more like a jackhammer than a greeting.
After a faintly shouted response and a achingly long delay, someone opened the door. It was a woman in her thirties, in a nice cocktail dress. The faint hum of a small party trickled out from further in the apartment.
“…Can I help you? Are you ok?” Upon seeing Avery’s face, her own crinkled with worry.
“I-I’m sorry, but I heard a loud noise from the floor below and it sounded pretty bad and I wanted to make sure no one was hurt. Clearly, uh, you’re okay but I— would you— agh!” Words failed him as he stuttered to a stop, cheeks burning with embarrassment.
“Oh! …Yeah, I did hear that. It sounded like it was from the apartment to our left. Owned by a young guy, around your age? Never saw him much, but I guess I haven’t seen him in a while now that I’m thinking about it…”
Avery’s heart sank, but she continued.
“Oh, what was his name… Damien? No, no. Derek. Yes, Derek. …Do you think he’s okay? Should someone—“
But Avery had already rushed next door, pounding on it frantically.
“Derek?” His voice cracked. His hands shook, one knocking so hard it hurt as he fumbled pointlessly with the door handle using his other. Because Derek wasn’t an idiot like Avery, the door was locked.
The only answer he got was silence and stillness from the apartment beyond.
He knew it was a bad idea, but he backed up and took a deep breath anyways, steadying himself, then—
Crack! He wasn’t sure whether it was the wood or his bones that made the noise, but he hoped it was the former. He grit his teeth to push back the pain, and kicked again, and again, and again.
The neighbor yelped a little, but over the sounds of Avery’s efforts to break the door down, he could hear her placing a call.
“Hi, I’m calling about a potential medical emergency? My neighbor, he—“ The words were drowned out by a buzz of pain and focus. Again. Again. Again. Again. He heard more cracking, but this time he was pretty sure it was the door.
What are you doing? The slippery feeling asked, a little curious and a more than a bit bemused. It was a bit mocking, but Avery had grown used to these kinds of voices.
Saving. Him. His response came between kicks.
You stupid little thing. He’s well beyond saving.
Avery ignored it, and with a particularly well placed kick, the wood began to splinter around his impact. Good. Now again. He’d already punched through netherite to reach Derek, he wasn’t going to let a door get in his way.
You’ll see. You’re too late. You were always too late.
Finally, his foot punched through. The momentum of it nearly knocked him off of his feet, but he managed to stay upright with an embarrassing amount of frantic pinwheel arms to catch his balance. With renewed vigor now, he kicked along the upper edge of the hole, widening the opening. Then he dropped to his hands and knees, sticking his right hand through the forced opening and fumbling for the latch that kept the door in place.
A small crowd had gathered, having emerged from the woman’s apartment, along with other neighbors looking out to see what the racket was. Avery blindly fished for the handle on the otherwise, uncomfortably stretching, face scrunched up in effort. He’d decidedly ruined Derek’s front door in this admittedly poorly thought out process, but that didn’t matter, not when—
He heard the click he was looking for, and yanked his arm back out hurriedly, catching a rather nasty handfuls of splinters in the process, then pushed. The door squealed open, pouring a rectangle of yellow light into the darkness beyond. Avery scrambled to his feet, taking only a half breath to cling to the doorframe before he charged in.
There were no lights on inside Derek’s apartment, making it a void of implication. The only glow from within was the reddish hue radiating with a sickly, unwell warmth from computer monitor a dozen or so feet in front of Avery, giving the yawning darkness hazy edges. He didn’t need to read it to know what it was— Derek’s death screen, the moment suspended in perpetuity.
There was a bloom of magenta light, then yellow, then green, then red— the fireworks outside the large windows illuminated the scene. A desk, below the monitor. A mouse, dangling off its edge. A gamer chair, toppled to the ground. A figure, a motionless heap on the floor. Then darkness once more.
Avery’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach, and he ran towards Derek, tripping over a mound of empty bottles that clattered as he fell. It hurt, his knees and palms slamming against the floor and joining the growing chorus of pain, but it didn’t matter because Derek was right there. So close he could almost touch him.
He crawled the rest of the distance, searching desperately in the dark by touch. Please, please, please—
Someone turned the hallway light inside of Derek’s apartment on. Light spilled in even further, and the scene was finally revealed in its entirety. Avery didn’t care about his surroundings, though. He only had eyes for Derek.
He felt for a pulse, and the skin he came into contact with was too blue and too cold, the bones beneath too prominent. Limp dark curls spilled over Derek’s face, leaving it partially obscured, but Avery could see Derek’s eyes, sunken into their sockets. They were a pale grey, but too dull, too empty. He didn’t know if he was imagining it, or if the voice was right. He rested his fingers against Derek’s neck with a trembling hand.
There was no heartbeat beneath Avery’s fingers.
He sobbed—one heaving, aching sob— then shifted Derek’s body onto its back, instinct taking over. A deep, shaky breath, and—
Avery never thought his first kiss would be giving CPR to someone he barely knew and couldn’t bear to lose. It wasn’t even a kiss, really. It was a moment of pure desperation. Life wasn’t like a fairytale. Derek didn’t wake up.
So he set his jaw and clasped his hands, just like how he’d been taught, and he started giving chest compressions. It was a cycle. Another cycle, always another cycle. He couldn’t let this be how it ended. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Tears dripped from his cheeks, leaving little dots on Derek’s red sweatshirt. Another breath, another tested pulse, another cycle of compressions, another breath, another—
There was a shallow breath, a faint but present pulse. Derek shifted beneath him a little, a twitch. Avery sobbed, melting to be next to him, one hand still resting on his chest, half curled around his side and clinging to his sweatshirt. The breathing continued, ragged but more regular than Avery’s own hiccuping hyperventilation that had boiled over the second he let down his guard.
He realized there was talking, and figures in the doorway rushing forward with bags and enough confidence in their posture that finally, finally Avery felt like maybe things would be okay.
The last thing Avery saw were blurry figures above him, asking him questions he couldn’t really hear. The last thing he felt was the slightest bit of warmth from Derek’s form next to him. Relief overtook his mind in tandem with the fuzzy darkness, and soon both swallowed him whole.