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Starscream’s thrashing woke you up. The pair of you had been sharing a berth for the past few weeks, the next step in the relationship you had been building over several months… and you had gotten used to several things already. First of all, Starscream stole all the blankets. The first time it had happened you were going to wake him up and yell at him, but he had wrapped himself up in them tightly and looked like a burrito. You had called him a birbrito the next morning and he had told you to shut up and then kissed you. It had been fun and cute. The next thing you had to get used to was Starscream being a sleep talker. Most of the time it was cute nonsense but occasionally he would yell something and wake everyone within hearing range up. That was a little harder to get used to, but you had learned to just go back to sleep or turn your audials off before going to bed and have your alarm set internally.
This third thing, you were not used to and doubted you ever would get used to. Sometimes the Air Commander would have nightmares and thrash until you woke him up. This was one of those nights, and you carefully shook his shoulder while calling out his name, getting louder when he wouldn’t respond. When he did wake up, the light in his crimson optics was disorganized and panicked for a few moments before he realized who you were. By that time, his claws had scratched through some of your armor. Slowly, his hands pulled away and he curled inward, staring at your energon.
“I- I-” Starscream stammered, looking like he was trying not to tear up. “I hurt you.”
“Just start wearing gloves to bed.” You teased, covering your wound. “Don’t worry. It’s just a scratch! I’ve had way worse. I won’t even need to go to the medbay.”
Starscream tried to tell you to go to the medbay even though he had sustained far worse damage than that and hadn’t gone either but you stopped his words with a soft kiss. The seeker grumbled for a moment before laying back down as you got up to put some gauze over the wound to keep it from leaking more energon onto the berth. When you turned around to walk back, Starscream hastily wiped his faceplate and took a shuddering breath in to try and calm himself. You felt a sympathetic smile cross your faceplate as you crawled back into the berth with him and set up the pillows so you could sit comfortably. Confusion was in Starscream’s wet optics for a moment before you patted your thighs. He put a pillow over your legs and put his head in your lap with a shaky sigh as your hand began stroking his helm, crest and wings. Even though you wanted to know what the nightmare had been about, you weren’t going to press him if he didn’t want to talk about it so for now you just sat there and pet him.
“... He wouldn’t stop.” Starscream said quietly. “I was begging and he just… wouldn’t stop.”
Shock stopped your hand for a moment as Starscream curled up slightly, a full body shiver going through him. You waited until he had calmed down a little before beginning to stroke his helm again. If you were going to be honest, this wasn’t the Starscream you loved. The Starscream you loved was the cocky, confident Air Commander that had greeted you on your first day out of stasis. He had proclaimed himself the new leader of the Decepticons and while your first instinct was ‘seems fake but okay’ the presence of Soundwave lurking behind him lent weight to his claims. You had bowed, keeping your optics on his face to see how he would react, and the prideful smile and little wing flutter convinced you that you had made the right choice. When Megatron returned, you had gone through the process of re-pledging your allegiance to the Cause… and felt like you were betraying Starscream somehow. Of course, now you knew that was because you loved the Seeker and all of his antics… but when his optics were dull with painful memory and his talons were nursing phantom wounds from either actual or imagined beatings… it made you want to rip the insignia off of your wings and defect with the Air Commander.
Instead of speaking in response to Starscream’s whisper, you just leaned over and kissed his forehelm, causing the ghost of a smile to play around his lip plates before it faded again. You slowly began to trace your hand down his back, waiting if he either twitched or tensed at your touch before you began petting his wings. When your hand reached them, Starscream went stiff for a moment before relaxing. He never said it in words, but he made it clear that he appreciated all you did to make him feel better on nights like this.
“He took them.” Starscream said quietly. “I know it was just… just a dream, but that fragger grounded me. Took away the one thing that makes me who I am .”
You had never needed to ask about who Starscream meant when he spat the word he like it was bad energon. Nobody did. Nobody asked why he didn’t just say the name. Most importantly, almost nobody asked him if he was okay. Almost . As it was, you were the only one who actually said ‘are you okay?’ Soundwave just stood near Starscream until the Seeker broke down and started babbling, always when he thought he was alone. With you, it was just an invitation to pull you aside, into another room… and break down and babble until he felt better.
“And I know that I was dreaming but… I was without flight before. What if he punishes me with that? You know what happens to us Seekers if we get trapped underground or don’t go flying. He… He could break me like that.” Starscream said, squeezing the pillow and one of your legs. “I know that I’m probably being irrational, but I just can’t help it. Even when he compliments me, or acknowledges that I actually did something … not to mention he always insists on being called Master …”
You took a steadying vent. Even when Starscream was bitching, the low purr he always did on his r’s sent a jolt through your frame, and the mech in your lap gave you a smirk at the slight increase in your frame’s temperature. A slight blush dusted your cheeks as your optics met Starscream’s and he sat up to kiss you gently.
“How is it that you always know what to say to make me feel better?” Starscream asked, smiling up at you. There he was - the cocky Air Commander you loved so much sometimes it made your spark ache.
“I didn’t say anything.” You told him, watching him smirk.
“Well obviously.” He replied with a small chuckle. “You knew when to shut up and let your Master air his grievances.”
“We’re just the two Decepticons in existence who like hearing you talk.”
Starscream started laughing in earnest at that, and you were glad he hadn’t heard your fans click on after he called himself your master . You’d have a talk with him about it later, but for now you were just happy to see Starscream laughing again so soon after a nightmare… and one connected to his wings, at that. Once Starscream stopped laughing he picked up his pillow and lay back down on his side, wings facing you. The two of you knew this behavior well - a Seeker’s not-so-subtle way of saying ‘pet me’ and you, of course, began petting his wings again. Any other night you would’ve traced teasing circles on the tips of his wings, or kneaded the seams where they met his back… but tonight you simply petted the flats of his wings with long, slow, calming strokes. You heard a mumble and leaned over to hear what Starscream was saying before noticing that he was clearly asleep.
“Hey Screamy?” You whispered, leaning on him. “Who do you love?”
The last time you had asked Starscream a question while he was asleep he had given you a surprisingly candid answer before promptly rolling over and pushing you off the bed so he could have it to himself, because of course he did . You had climbed back in and woken him up by scooting him over, but he had forgiven you after a kiss. This time…
“Meee…” Starscream mumbled, a dorky grin on his sleeping faceplate. You had to cover your faceplate to stop from laughing at that before giving your sleeping boyfriend - boyfriend - another kiss.
“Yeah, of course you do.”