Chapter Text
Cccsarmkrwfgg artist HW well u tree d
04/20/26
richie: Hello My Dear Wonderful Cousins. rhat I Love and Adore.
mike: fuck u Want bruh thsi gc ahsnt been used since 2024
richie: shut UPEP mike yrour ruingijg The fuhreaking MOOD.
mike: ????
tyler: yah Mike 🤣🤣🤣🤣
richie: TYLER?????????
boris: TYLER??????????
miles: TYLER??????????
ziggy: TYLER???????????
mike: TYLER??????????
tyler: ??????? bruhwaWHAT
richie: our niche cousin that we Havent seen since 2018 How could we NAWT be surprised . KEEP UP MIKE
mike: UNNECESSARY SHADE BRUHWHAY DID I DO
tyler: Owhh Dun worry about it I was just taking care of dogs you Know and delivering pizz a You know the usual stuf
miles: for 8 years yeah okay 🩷
tyler: ITTS TIME CONSUMING LECAE ME ALONE
boris: ? I co-own a dog and He did not take up my entire day and let alone 8 years????
tyler: cuz u aren't dedicTed enough Boris KEEP UP
boris: I see how it Is.
tyler: noo my sweet charming radiant peincess im soreh 🥺🥺
mike: omg tyler mean ass bitch
ziggy: LOOK WHISTALKING
mike: FUKC OFFF I'M LITERALLY THE NICEST PERSON HERe.
miles: me when i lie
mike: ℑ𝔪 gєттιηg 𝑠𝑜 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞Ꮄ. 𝐷𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 мє.
miles: Address: 23.322.43.2.2
boris: oh what the Fuck Okay 🩷
mike: ISTHAY MY FUCKING IP ADDRE
richie: he Jus Dows that Sometimes dun Worry.
richie: ohh Miles u crack headddd 🥺🥺🥺🥺
miles: me want avocado 🥺🥺🥺🥺
richie: MILESS!!!!!
ziggy: ihaye how I got that reference
mike: cuz of course You did.
ziggy: oh my god mike pipe down ure gonna get ur info uploaded on the dark web next
mike: ??? WHAT
miles: 👀
mike: DONT YOU FUCJING DARE
richie: I thinkyou shlidl Do it actuallyN
mike: 𝓐𝓛𝓛 𝓞𝓕 𝓨𝓞𝓤 𝓦𝓘𝓛𝓛 𝓑𝓤𝓡𝓝 𝓘𝓝 𝓗𝓔𝓛𝓛
boris: 😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️😈😈😈💣⛓️💥⛓ ʀɪɢʜᴛᴇᴏ ᴇᴠɪʟ ʙʀᴏ!! 😊😊😊❤️❤️😈😈😈💣⛓️💥⛓⛓⛓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓
tyler: this singular conversation shaved off 10% of my lifespan I hope youknow that
mike: thats wonder Ful 😅 i think it should shave 100% of ur lifespan next
boris: omg nasty ass republican telling our Goat what 2 do,,,,,
mike: ????? HWYA DK YOU MEAN
boris: i had thsi weird dream about you 5 years ago
boris: where In anothee life
boris: your parents voted reagan
boris: and you had to fight inter dimensional monsters from an alternate universe where there was this weird veiny hotdog man that hated you all and wanted you dead I think but that doesn't matter cuz reagan is the real monster here and ur parents voted for him
miles: boris you DO know that this happened to him in the present time too, maybe that wasn't just a dream, it was a vision
boris: oh what
mike: except my parents voted trump not reagan
tyler: WHY WOIDL YOU ADMIT TO THAT
ziggy: OH because of course they did 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
richie: very Unfortunate News i sfelt a tear go diwb my Leg 🫱🫱🫱😢🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
ziggy: ??? Ok? And I have 20k followers bt?w??
boris: son??????? ion. ???????? sonion??????
miles: whyis everyoen Confused
tyler: ?????????????
miles: Okay.
mike: 😂😂😂😂😂
miles: Here's how I'll torture you, Michael:
Number 1: The Marrow Furnace I'll inject liquid metal into your bones, boiling them from the inside.
Number 2: The Nerve Harvester Each nerve fibre will be plucked and strung, vibrating with agony.
Number 3: The Organ Grinder Your organs will be twisted and cranked, a grotesque puppet of pain.
Number 4: The Skin Weaver Your skin will be peeled and rewoven, a living tapestry of torment.
Number 5: The Eyeball Crucible Your eyes will be roasted and replaced with burning coals.
Number 6: The Mind Flayer Your thoughts will be shredded, echoes of endless torment.
mike: WAHT THE FUCK
richie: go Get his ass Miles ongod 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
boris: im glad im related to you guys *smiles warmly*
ziggy: me too 🥹🥹🥹🙌 *smiles back*
tyler: well okay!
tyler: *smiles aswell*
mike: cnayiu guys stop roleplatimt I see something outsid of My Hosu
richie: did anyoen Else hear that 👀👀🫱🫱 no? Okay! *holds everyone's hands*
mike: OHMYGKFOFOFDDDD OH MY GOD
mike: THEHREYSGEGR THEREHEHS THEHRES 3 HITMEN OUTIDSJDJ OF MH FUCJCING PORCH
miles: 3????? I ordered 10 😅🤞
tyler: miles u dirty Dog 🥹🥹🥹
miles: 🥹🥹🥹🥹
boris: joy joy Whimsy!🩷🙌💕🩹😇
ziggy: #positivity #healing
mike: ongod Im GONNA FICKING DIE
mike: oksince imgoing....
miles: we are not doing this Mike no
mike is typing...
richie: no,,,, its Oaky... ᒪᘿᖶ 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝙙𝙤 𝕚𝕥....
boris: oh richie Always the enabler 😊
ziggy: i don't thinkthats a good thing 😅🙌
tyler: who cares about the rights and wrongs right now honestly
ziggy: man u rite
mike is typing...
boris: maybe the real rights and wrongs are the friends we made along the way
tyler: socrates is quaking in fear
miles: if rights and wrongs are your power then what are you without it
ziggy: #bars
miles: 𝕓𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕕...
mike is typing...
tyler: Oh Okay 💕
mike: will byers my cute sweet amazing gorgeous wonderful majestic whimsical joyful sweet intelligent careful caring nice loving pretty adorable sunshine and rainbows and glitter and sparkles and fantastic excellent outstanding beaming beautiful resilient compassionate passionate radiant innovative charismatic bright charming amusing beautiful humble helpful humorous patient peaceful understanding courageous considerate determined dependable adventurous cute cute cute cute baby who does no wrong andFuck this every single positive word under the sun (which is will fucking byers btw haha Lol) im gay and I love oyou and im sad tha
mike: aaaand Send!
tyler: and why areyou sending this to us instead of jrhat will byers exactly
richie: cuz He a Pussy 😂😂😂😅😅😅😅🫱🙌🙌🙌🫱🫱😇😇😇😇😇
boris: yu are Too 😨😨😨👁
richie: 𝕴 𝓽𝓸𝓵𝓭 уσυ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ιɳ confidence
ziggy: im lacking a lotta Context here
tyler: u and me both twin
miles: Okwell all 3 of them have a situationship esque homoerotic gay friendship that they cannot communicate with for the life of them 👀
mike: SOTP AIRING OUT OUR BUSINESS MILES
mike: and ALSO #he doesnt need to know this its okay. ill die and then. He'll move on call me his Tammy and start dating this trendy bar goer (chopped bitch) with a hideous haircut.
mike: I lied i imagined it its Not okay
ziggy: this is so weirdly specific
boris: whothe Hell is tammy
mike: fuck bro idunno imade her up in my Head but she's this horribke singer who my lesbian oc robin buckley had a crush on and aand and
miles: nurse hes out again
ziggy: this is big talk coming frim #you
miles: w̴̹̹͗̾ą̷͇̹̤͍̜͖̤̪̬͗̽̐̈́̄͒̔͂̈́͜͜͝ͅt̶̥͉̣͚̳͈̘̙̼͈͓̗͓̹̓͒́c̴̠͓̊̏͛̐͌̄ḫ̸̡̛̛̼̘̗̞̯͕͓̈́̋̌̍̇͌͂̈́͑͘ ̶̨̡̛̝̜̣̝͈͉͚̩̻̋͌̆̈͋̌̂̍͂͒̃̕͘͠ȳ̵̢̛̭̞̗̯̞͖̗̗̤̣̭̻̈̈́̒̄̐̔̌͌̾̽͒̿͑o̴̝͈͙͓̤̱̰̬̥̮̮͈̻̼̽̏̽̍͋̐̇͋͗̑̐͊͘ù̶̡̪̝̞̭̺͓̈́̉͑͌r̶͇̖̼̤̯͕̎͊̉́̂̓̈́͛̉̕ ̸̜̮͙̘̘̘̌͋̎̌̆̂m̷̖̭̗̯̬͔̒͂͆̀ơ̸̧͖̬͖̻̂̆̾͆̄̊̈́̔u̴̢̡̗̲̮͎͔̺̻̒̐͐̏ͅt̷̨̨̡̥̮̤̗̘͑̅́́̓̌̀́̈͗͑͑̈́͜͠͝h̶̢̢͍̟̬̙̜͓̼̘́͗̆͗̓͂ͅ ̸̢̖͓͈̬͖̹̰̩̟́͘b̴̢̖̤̰̳̥͋̋ờ̴̡̛͔̞̱̥̪̰͙̖̅̀̎͌̋̅̕̚͝y̴̡̨̧̜̫̣̖͒̈̕.̷̨̝̜͉̹̝̭̣̳͇̅͊̀ ̸̰̠̀͗͌Ţ̵̡͉͉̤̪̣̝͇͉̹̟̏̑̉̅͂͂͆͜͜ͅh̷̡̡͈̩̗͕̭̪͉̦̘̖̼̺͐̾͌͂̃͒̐̿͗̋̎͠e̵̢̤̭͚̱̟̭̙̻̗̟̤͉̓̌̓̓̎͊͐͌͜ ̶̲̻̝̦̞̳͔̟̌͋̓̔͘n̷̻͖̞̠̯̯̻̙̎̄̈́̀̑̐̂̂̐́͆͗͠e̴͔̜͈͈͇͖͋͜x̵̡̭̲̼̙̜̝̻̼̣̜͍̳̽̿̍̅͌̉̀̊̑̓̊͠t̸͎̹̖͔̰̂ ̶̧̱̩̺̝̬͖̥̺̲̳͎̦̯́͝t̸̨̝̠̱̹͚̙̜̩͖͈̣̎̆̍̆̊̏̓̚͠ͅͅh̷̼̑͐́́͂͊̈̈̍̆͋͐̅i̸̛̜͚͈̲̅̂̈́̈́̾͌̉̅̏́̀̚n̵̡̞̼͈̏̈́̌́͆̎͂ģ̵̱̩̭͈̒̀͒̎̌ͅ ̵̻̦̦͈̫͚͋̊y̸̢͚̥͙͉̫̙̥̞̣͙͙͕̟͙͛̎̏̌͗͝͝ò̷̧̨̢̘̤͉͖̫̦̠̫͉̯̹̾̍̾̒́̎͒u̴̧̢̥̺̦̭͔͎̪̖͉̺̭͚̫̐͐̿̐̕k̶͇͍̦͙̪͔͗̾̀͌̉̃̐͊͆͑͘͝ͅņ̸̙͍̩͕͕̖̹̝̤̍͆̈́͒͋̈́͗̏̇́o̶̞͖̙̿̉̐͌̅̅͋͋̋̓͘w̵̡̺̰͈͔͔̳̄̑̋͂͐͜ ̶̧͓̙͇͈͗̈́̒y̷̢̱̦̼͙̽͊̆͜ͅõ̸̢̦̣̣͔̣̤̓͒̕ṵ̵͎͙͕̉̍̊̎̎̂͠ḻ̶̨̧̢̭̪̤̖̮̲̙͔̭͐̇͆̾̌͜͝l̵̨̧̲̙̭̞̥͚̻̬͝ͅ ̶͉̹̥̫̪͇̈s̷̨̧̖̰̩̠͎͇̗͓͑͒͂͒̽̄̐̈́̂͒͑̍̃͌͝ḙ̷̩̼͌͋͛̎͜ę̵͎̣̟̲̰̯̳̺̤̫́͊͊̂͂͐̓̕͘ ̵̭̦̤̪͖͙͖̲̈́̐̑̒͑͆̇̐̕͝͝1̷̨̢̦̪̤̜̯̝̖̚ͅ0̴̻̼̞̘̮̩̤̟̻͔̋̑̂̌̈̓̓̈́̕̚͜͠ ̸̨̞̻̮͈͔̂͗̈̋͘e̸̻̮̫͚̼̫͓̓̀́̐̋͌͊͌̏͋͝͝t̷͕̱̟͕̟̗̰͎̯͍̐̃̆̓͘͝͝͠s̸̢̜̭̦̫͖̯̏̊̀͋̓̒́̋̓̊́͌ý̸͔̹̥̞̬͈͍̗̫̚ ̶̝̿͆́̃̚w̴̧̥̳̳̤̩̤̥̣̭̟͖̓́̂͛̓̀̓́̆͝͠į̴̛͇̖̘͔̱̩̩̬̘͚͓̈́̐͂́̊͐̓̈͜͜͝t̸̝͎͎͗̔̌̄͠ç̴̰̝͚͙̖̼͎̼͗͊̉̒̅̈́̔͝h̸̤̱̞͍̭̞̘̗̜͕̓̓̃̽͠ͅͅę̶̛̫̥͇͖̳̻̗̘͔̖̞͈͋̌́͋̈́̆͝s̶̳̥̖͚͐͒́̉̑̏͗̆̽̕͠ ̷̧̛͈̝̗̪̮̜́͐̽̉̊ò̶̲̖̳͙͉̭̒̿͊̊̆̆̄̐̉̍̀̕͜͝͝ŭ̶͙̈́͑̓̊̈́͝͝ţ̶̢͉̠̹͉̝͚̩̳̦̗̪͕̼̑s̵̳̦͔͎̦͕̰̭͕̋̀̾̄̂͑̌̊̊̈̈́͠į̶̧̤͇̜͖͇̯̤͔̰̟̽̆̒̓̂̍ͅͅͅd̵̛̠̍̂̓̍́̚͝ę̷̖̥̞̲͉̺͎̟̝͙̬̤̼̒̉̈́̈́͊̚ ̶̖̖͙͕̞̗̬̗͕͛̿̏̈́̏̎̓̑͝o̸̧̧̰͙̯̥̬̪͑́̑̂͜ͅf̷̜̂̒̈́ ̷̱͉̬̰̹̬̳͎̥͕̪̱͇̋̋̐̆̏ỳ̴͇͈̣͉̺̭̬̟͗ớ̶͓͆͒͊̀̏̒͐͛̑͝ȗ̶̙̥͌r̷̢͎͚̝͓͉̘͉͕̹̠̦̘̟̅̿̋̿͛̾̾̅́̏̿̇̑͗̕ ̷̧̼̲̊̋̇̃̄̓͂̌̓̚̚͘H̵̥̞͕̪͍̾̓ỏ̷͓̃̒͘ǔ̶̡͈̜̠̲̪̱̟̎͋͑̑̀̍s̴̜̝͎̳̭̭͎̦͕̉͛͆̐͌̎̊̆̔͛̅̚͜͠e̵̞͚͍͎̗̜̳̿͗̉̉̽́̐́̆̍̃̃̚͝ ̷̫̣̖̯̜̊͛́̅̕͜a̶͔̘̥̳̟̍̓̒̐̉̀̈̽̕̚c̸̢͍̲̠̠̈͊̏̍͛̄͌ͅͅț̴͈̍̈́͑ĩ̷̦̃̈́̽̓̑̒̇͘v̵̛͎̰͗͋̃̇̅̂̀͜͝ę̵̡̨̖̤̠̦͕̞̦̎́́̆̄̔ͅl̸̢̡̠͚̗̝̥̘̱̒̋̈̔́̋͐̽̔̕͜͠y̷̘̘̫̭̯͒̈́́̀̔͂̀̍̚͘͜͝ ̴̤̊̓̔̄̉͗̒̄̇͝c̸̗̰͈͎̥̯̩̙̪̤̪͌͛́̐̎͂̕h̷̫̺̲͍͈̖̣̔̄̐͝ã̸͚͇̒͂̑̏̔͌̆̓́͐̇͝n̶͍̤̥̫̠̱̝̈́̿̂͑͋ͅt̷̢͕̜̖̮̠͙͎͔̃͆̀̌̽̐ḯ̷̥̭̦n̸̨̙̰̫̫̘͈̮̰̊̏̉̒͝ģ̶̡̲̫̞͖̳͍̲̞͐́̍̀̀̏͊͋̓̇̕͝͠ ̶͇͕̣̇́̔̇̾̊̎̀̔̓͐͊̎̚͝ą̴̢̛̟̟̉̆͛̈̈́̈́̐͆͆͌̀̕̕͠ͅ ̴̱̊̍̑̐̈́̄̓̚͝͠s̸̝̓̂̆̅̄̊͋p̴̼̼͑́̽͐̅͌̌͌͊̀̊̕͝ë̷̛̱̯͎́̽̈́̂̏̉̏̀͐̚ļ̶͓̟̎̅̏͐̐́͌̕͠ḽ̷̮̪̭͍͖͛̈́́̃̽ ̶̡̢̤̺͇̬͍̦̘̑͗̂͑̒̾͜t̷̻̬̲̫͎̪̝̥͔̾͛͌͛ơ̷̻̯͈̹̪̞̹̯̖̑̅̊́͗̈͋̎̚ ̵͇̰̘̗̥͌́̔̀̒́̈́̕ḳ̶͈̩͕̠̞̰̘͕͉̠͐̓̚i̶̲͎̺͚͍̓͌̒́l̵̢̥̼̣̣̳̰̝̩͍̦̣͕̊̿̈́̈́̓̈́͆͠ͅl̶̡̰̝̲̮̜͎̗͓̝͍̞̦͍̓̽̊͘̕̕͠ ̶̡̡͇̮̣̩̫̭̮̲͓̫̩̖̹̏̉̈́̃̏y̵̞̿̅͆͌̀͂͐̀̇̋̆̊̌͠ơ̷̖̺͍͖̩͇͉̋̽̍̈͆̚͜͝ͅư̷̪̈̐̽̾̽͗͂̏̎̿̋̕͘ ̶̢̞̠̥̖̖͓̬̉̊́͆́̕͜͝ͅą̴̳̙̹̼͖̹̘̼̞͕͔̾͛̾͌͛͗́͆͛̌n̶̨̢̛͙̜͉̽͐d̶̦̙̬̲͓͈͚͔̥̺̦͕͔̩͙̋̇̀̌̆̉̌͗̑͝ ̴̢̯̠̝̫̟̥́ẏ̶̩̗̯͊̋̈́̂͌͆̄̓̓͑͘͠͝͝ǫ̴̫̹̥̗̯͍̲̭̲̹͋̌̅̏̎̌̀̈́͘̕͠u̸̬̳̦̩͙͓̰̻̜̦͗̐͒̿͠r̸̙̀̋́͂ ̷̧̩̫͑̎ȩ̶̭̘̙͙͍̻̖̥͓̝͒͑̀͐̄̏͗̀̽͜͝ͅń̷̡͚̳̞̖͍̞͖̝̖͎͍͎͇̗͆̾͊̏̉́͋͗̎̉̌̔̆t̵̲̙͎̜͚̜̓̆̈̾͛̇̑̽͂͊̒͌̃̊͠ǐ̶̼̫̟̜̯͗͛̎̓͗̉͝ŗ̷̡̤̭̞͚̰̤̫̝̲͈̦̠̃̽̃̆̏̎͂͑̌͂́͊̆̊͝ę̸̟̤͖̗͈͌̈́̔̆̾̀̒̒̐͗̔͜͝ ̶̦̭̞͈͉̹̫̺͚̫̏̈́̂͑́̔͛̈́̽̆̕̕̚f̴̤̯͉̺̼̯̱͎͉͖͎̗̆̏̈́͂̈́̑̄͒͋̃̀̀̍̚͠a̶̙͖̳̜̠͍̱͔͓̞̬͍̾́̄͒̉̉̂̃͐̄̒ͅm̸̡͉̩̲̉́̐͜͠ḯ̵̛̼̻̱̲̜̪l̷̛̛̛̻͍̭̘͕̑̆̈́̈̆̓̓͑͝͝y̵̤̤̤̔̅̆̚.̶͔̤̱̞̥̜̾̐͐͘ ̵̧̹̱̖̹̘̮̪͎̓̄͗̓̓͝ͅ
ziggy: well Okay.
replying to mike: will byers my cute sweet amaz...
richie: didtou Perhaps take boris' drugs from a 1.8k miles away
boris: did you google that
richie: OFCOURUSE I DID BORIS REAL MEN DONT LISTEN TO GEOGRAPHY CLASS
tyler: so is everyine justgonaneignore miles message
richie: yes
boris: yes
ziggy: yes
mike: yes
miles: yes
tyler: Oh Okay.