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She is gone.
Those three simple words rang in Sabé's mind as she watched the funeral procession. They stung.
All of this felt so wrong. Everything had collapsed just as soon as she was sure that maybe, just maybe, things would finally fix themselves.
Padmé's optimism about the rest of the galaxy wanting to defend democracy had spread to her, and she had, perhaps, foolishly believed that corruption would step aside for once and let justice prevail. Even when Bail Organa had told Sabé that Padmé had left that last Senate council meeting completely shaken, she still felt in her heart that there would be a solution. There always had been one before...why wouldn't there be one now?
She should have known that it was naïve to believe this. And yet...she chose to hang on.
Perhaps it was because she wanted to see the innate good in others. Perhaps it was due to the unwavering faith she had in the Republic, even when it was starting to become clear that, maybe, it had never really been a true Republic at all.
Or, perhaps, it was something else. Something that she hadn't wanted to fully revisit until now.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and, as the wailing of mourners rang in her ears, she began to remember.
"Slow down!"
Padmé laughed, and continued to run ahead, glancing back at her handmaiden only to see how far back she was. "Never!"
"You don't play fair!" Sabé laughed, slightly winded as she kept trying to catch up to her Queen. "I should report that you are a cheater!"
"You would call your Queen such slanderous things?" Amidala asked a bit slyly as she made it to the designated endpoint, waiting for her to catch up. "That could count as treason!"
"Don't be ridiculous. You like me too much to do something like that," her handmaiden teased, using a sudden burst of energy to sprint over. "Done! I still made good time, I'm sure."
Padmé looked at an imaginary watch on her wrist. "Mm, no, not really. That time is not even remotely close to breaking your overall record."
She frowned. "How do you know that?"
"I keep all of that information up here," the Queen said with a smile on her face, gently tapping one of her temples. "It's how I remember my etiquette and the current state of politics."
"Amazing. You've got the mind of an information droid."
"Shut up," the young royal scoffed, playfully smacking the other's arm. "At least I can remember what I had for breakfast this morning."
"Easy for you to say!" her closest handmaiden protested. "You have it all written out for you on schedules days ahead of time! Meanwhile I just get whatever is leftover or whatever the chef decides he'll bring to us!"
Padmé sighed. "Don't tell me he brought you that one food you're allergic to again."
"Maybe he did." Sabé fixed her headdress back in place. "But it's alright. I didn't eat it. I just traded meals with Dormé."
"I will speak with him again," she said assertively, her tone switching from her informal, regular voice to her regal, official one that she used when in public. "That is not desirable for you."
"Oh, it's alright," the handmaiden said half-heartedly, waving her hand to dismiss the issue. "I already spoke with him and worked it out."
"Sabé."
Once she heard the deep concern in the tone of her name, she turned to look at her - directly into her eyes this time.
"Yes?"
Padmé stepped forward, and gently took her hands in her own. "I will make sure it won't happen again. I promise you that."
"You really don't have to, my lady --"
"I want to."
And that was that. Once the Queen had her mind set on something, there was no use in trying to change it. She had learned that rather quickly when they had first met.
"Alright." Sabé gently squeezed her hands. "Thank you."
"You are most welcome."
Perhaps it was the way the morning light caught her face, or maybe it was something else, but...in this particular moment in time, Padmé's smile seemed more radiant than ever to Sabé. It was as if she was an angel, blessing her with her presence and warmth. It was extremely comforting.
"Sabé?"
"Yes?" she asked once more, her voice much softer this time.
"May I..." A brief hesitation. Padmé looked around the garden to make sure no one else was nearby, watching or listening in on them. As she did so, Sabé's heart began to race. Was she really going to do this, or was it simply her mind playing tricks on her?
"...May I kiss you?"
Sabé's eyes grew wide. Everything she had dreamed of was finally happening. She felt herself nodding frantically before she could fully and properly think the action through.
Padmé let out a gentle, comforting giggle before holding the side of her face, and leaning in to kiss her. As their lips touched, Sabé could have sworn she heard beautiful music starting to play around them. She closed her eyes, and leaned into the kiss, wanting to savor every single moment of it.
She felt Padmé smile, and smiled with her. "What is it?"
"You are a really good kisser," Amidala murmured softly, gently rubbing the other's cheek with her soft, gentle hand. "I thought you'd be way worse at this."
Sabé gasped, pretending to be deeply offended. "Excuse me? I will have you know that I am well-versed in all things to do with romance!"
"Could've fooled me," Padmé quipped, and the two of them shared a genuine, heartfelt laugh before continuing the kiss. They moved closer, feeling the other's quickening heartbeats as they did so.
If someone came by now, they would be in a lot of trouble. However, for once, Sabé found herself genuinely not caring about the repercussions. This was something she could finally have all to herself.
No one could ever ruin it.
Or, at least, that was what she believed at the time.
The memory of Anakin Skywalker interrupted her train of thought.
The reality was that that would never come to pass. Anakin and Padmé had been so deeply infatuated with each other and closely connected after they had reunited that even someone like Sabé did not stand a chance. He was a Jedi Knight, respected (and also deeply despised, by those who did not trust in the Jedi or the Force) for his excellent combat skills, leadership, and genuine compassion for the galaxy. Even though they had had to hide their relationship, their secret was a bit more out in the open and wouldn't have had quite as much of a scandal as a former Queen and her handmaiden.
It had been very difficult for her to accept that she would not be the one at Padmé's side, but she had eventually put her own feelings aside for their happiness. Talking to the other handmaidens had helped as well. They were the only others who knew about their past, and who could fully understand why she was so torn up.
And yet...It just didn't seem fair. She still had found a part of herself wishing, hoping, pleading, and begging to the Force or whatever else was out there that something would happen, that Anakin would make a misstep so unforgivable that Padmé would come back to her. After everything they had been through together, she had believed that maybe, just maybe, Padmé could choose her once more.
I never wanted something like this.
She felt one of her hands, which was thankfully hidden under the long sleeve of her dress, ball up into a tight fist. It was a part of her that she did not like and was not proud of, but it was part of her nonetheless. Jealousy was something she had never been very good at fully getting control over.
Dormé, who was walking beside her, seemed to notice something was amiss even in the midst of her own grief, and moved towards her slightly, discreetly reaching for her hand. She took it greatfully.
She is gone, and so is he.
A stream of tears ran down her face as she continued on with the funeral procession.