Work Text:
It took months to gather enough courage to ask him. And even then it had been a spur of the moment kind of thing. They had happened to be alone in the locker room, a rare moment before everyone else showed up.
His normal disinterested look turned into surprise as his friend had him pinned against the lockers. They had always invaded each other's space, but not like this. This wasn’t like when they were playing around, it was more serious.
“Uh, Makki?” Matsukawa questioned softly.
Before he could question further, Hanamaki spoke, “I- I want to ruin our friendship. Can we be lovers instead?”
Silence. Matsukawa broke eye contact first and then neither of them could look each other in the eye. Hanamaki panicked in his head, immediately regretting letting those words leave his mouth. Why had he done that?
Familiar voices sounded in the distance. Hanamaki stepped away.
Matsukawa grabbed his sleeve before he could fully retreat in embarrassment. He still wasn’t looking at him. “Give me time to think, okay?”
Hanamaki nodded and they turned away right as Oikawa and Iwaizumi entered. They prepared for practice as usual. Which meant Hanamaki was sneaking glances as his best friend changed. Tanned skin flashed between fabric as he watched, and licked his lips as repressed feelings bubbled up, only to be squashed back down.
Practice continued as normal. Or, as normal as it could be with the two jokesters not talking to each other. Everyone noticed. No one said anything. Well, Oikawa said something.
“Did you two get in a fight or something?” he said as pompously as ever.
“Something like that,” Hanamaki mumbled. Neither of them met Oikawa’s stare. The subject was dropped, and practice went on, unusually quiet. Hanamaki kept staring at Matsukawa when his back was turned. He couldn’t help but admire his best friend, maybe soon to be ex best friend. Those long arms and lean legs had him sighing heavily. He wanted that body wrapped around him and him around it, cuddling on lazy weekend afternoons. Hanamaki had to shake the thought from his head before he started daydreaming.
That day’s practice was the worst one Hanamaki had yet. He messed up constantly. The coach yelled at him. He was replaced by another player for a while. In his defense, it was hard to concentrate on the game when his mind was screaming regrets at him. He stuck his hands into his pants and scratched hard at his legs and focussed on the feeling to clear his head. For the rest of practice he threw himself into the game, drowning out everything else. The coach complimented him after that. Hanamaki only felt worse.
After practice, Hanamaki sat against the cool lockers, his eyes closed. Locker room talk went on around him. His ears automatically tuned in whenever the deep baritone of Matsukawa’s voice sounded. It was unmistakable and he wished that voice was speaking to him instead of to others.
He sat, unmoving, while others changed and left. “Makki, you okay?” Iwaizumi’s voice broke through his daydreaming. He blinked his eyes open. Only the third years were left. Oikawa was by the door, obviously waiting for Iwaizumi. Matsukawa was fixing his shoes.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll lock up,” Hanamaki said. Iwaizumi gave him a concerned look, but nodded and left with Oikawa. Hanamaki closed his eyes again. The only sound left was the rustle of clothes.
“Hanamaki,” Matsukawa’s voice came soft and quiet to him. It was odd that he didn't use his nickname. Hanamaki opened his eyes to find his best friend putting him in the same position he had him earlier today. Matsukawa was crouched in front of him, one arm resting against the lockers behind him, invading his personal space. He probably had the same surprised face Matsukawa had shown. Right then, he wanted to reach up and kiss him, but he stayed glued against the lockers. Matsukawa brought his other hand up to rub the back of his neck, a nervous gesture Hanamaki thought was absolutely adorable.
“Do we really have to ruin our friendship to… become lovers?” There was a long pause. Hanamaki dared not speak. Matsukawa avoided eye contact shyly as a slight blush creeped onto his face. “Can’t we be both?” Matsukawa added on.
Relief flooded through Hanamaki. It took him a moment to even register what Matsukawa was trying to say. He still wanted to kiss him, but held out a bit longer.
Instead, he smirked. “Did you really have to leave me waiting in agony all day just so you could come up with a witty answer?”
Matsukawa finally looked at him fully, still serious. “Hey, you blindsided me with that question! I wasn’t prepared at all! And people were coming!”
Hanamaki laughed and wrapped his arms up around Matsukawa’s neck. “I had the worst practice ever because of you. Do you even know how distracting you are? It hurts my poor heart,” he feigned distress.
That had Matsukawa breaking into a grin and he leaned in closer so that their noses were almost touching. “I could say the same for you,” his voice quiet and dipped down in tone. Hanamaki wanted to melt under that voice. It did terrible things to his thoughts and he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He easily closed the distance between them, pressing their mouths together, desperate to taste the lips of his best friend, and now, lover.
It was as awkward as any first kiss would be. Hanamaki felt smooth lips against his chapped ones. A hand was brought up to cup the back of his head as they kissed again. They shifted and turned until they found the perfect angle. Hanamaki’s mind emptied and all he could think about was the feeling of Matsukawa’s lips on his. He ran one of his hands through the short, black, curly hair like he had always imagined doing.
They broke apart out of breath; Hanamaki felt like he was on cloud nine. What brought him back to reality was the shiver from the slight chill of the locker room, and goose bumps spread across his exposed skin. Matsukawa noticed. “You should change. You don’t want to catch a cold.”
“Already the doting boyfriend I see?” Hanamaki teased as he stood. Matsukawa nudged him playfully but didn’t say anything to disagree. Instead he lingered close by, warm brown eyes watching as Hanamaki changed out of his uniform. “You’re staring,” Hanamaki commented.
“I don’t have to do it inconspicuously, do I?” Matsukawa questioned, feigning innocence. Hanamaki pushed his face away and laughed. He kept staring all the same, causing a blush to creep up onto Hanamaki’s face.
They locked up the club room and started on their way home. Barely pass the school’s gate, Matsukawa spoke up. “Uh. Makki. Could I… maybe… hold your hand?” He was rubbing the back of his neck again. The sight was a shot straight through Hanamaki’s heart. How could this guy be so adorable?
“You sap.” Hanamaki clasped their hands together. Both of their hands worn from numerous hours of playing volleyball, but Matsukawa’s hand radiated warmth into Hanamaki’s hand. Matsukawa brought their hands up to his mouth, placing a soft sweet kiss on Hanamaki’s knuckles. Another arrow through his heart. His face burned bright red as Matsukawa grinned. He allowed himself to be lead as they walked towards their homes.
The silence of the night was broken by Matsukawa again when they were about half way home. “When did you fall for me?” It seemed like an innocent question, but in reality it was the exact thing Hanamaki had been asking himself for months.
“I… I'm not sure. A few months ago, probably,” he said quietly. It was embarrassing to talk about, because he had assumed it was unrequited love and struggled to keep it to himself. Matsukawa only hummed in reply. “What about you?” he asked. With the comments from earlier, surely he hadn't been the only one sneaking glances.
“It was the day we met.”
Hanamaki froze bringing them to a halt. What? Matsukawa was looking at the ground, like it was suddenly very interesting. “But, but, why didn't you say anything?”
“I was happy with just being friends,” he replied, a blush barely visible on his face.
Hanamaki was dumbfounded. His best friend had had feelings for him since they had met and he hadn’t noticed at all. Then another thing struck him. “But I had braces back then, and bad acne, and a terrible haircut!”
Matsukawa laughed, finally looking up. “You were pretty cute despite all of that. And you have become quite handsome now.” Taking a step towards Hanamaki, he leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. Hanamaki stood reeling with this new information, and now blushing as well. He was silenced by this beautiful boy once again. Matsukawa was one of the few people who could leave him at a loss for words.
“I… I… this feels really unfair,” Hanamaki finally fought out.
Matsukawa cocked his head to the side, a confused look on his face. No one should look that cute. “What do you mean?” he questioned.
“You… I was in hell, having feelings for you while we were just best friends, and that was only for a few months. You’ve had feelings for me since the start, that… that must've been terrible to deal with.” He moved his free hand wildly as he talked, letting it flop to his side at the end.
Matsukawa smiled and took hold of the fallen hand. “It wasn’t so bad. I still got to spend everyday with you. I just couldn't kiss you.” As to emphasize that remark he kissed Hanamaki again. Short and sweet, but that didn't stop Hanamaki from pouting.
“It still doesn't seem fair.”
“How about you try and make it up to me then?”
Hanamaki quirked his eyebrow. “You wanna make out?”
Matsukawa chuckled warmly, a laugh Hanamaki could never tire of hearing. “I'm not against that, but I was thinking more along the lines of you should shower me with gifts and affection.”
“I could do both.” Hanamaki grinned, releasing his hands to pull Matsukawa to him. They kissed gently, without concern of someone seeing them. When they broke apart Hanamaki smiled brightly. “Saturday. I'll take you out on Saturday.” Matsukawa nodded and then they continued on their way home. They kissed each other one last time before going their own ways. Hanamaki practically skipped the rest of the way home, heart bursting with happiness. He kept thinking about how it felt to finally kiss Matsukawa, bringing his hand up to feel his lips, like the feeling would somehow escape from him. He fell asleep easily that night.
The next day, they are joking and teasing each other again. A bit closer, a bit more contact, looking at each other for a bit longer.
“Did you two make up?” Iwaizumi asked at lunch.
Matsukawa grinned and winked at Hanamaki. “Something like that.”