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Yesung wasn't stupid despite popular belief. He was just naturally a goofball. Or at least, that's what the other members think. They were convinced that he's a happy-go-lucky guy with a good voice and an unfortunate lack of talent in the dance department.
That's good because that's what he wants them to think.
It was so much easier than the truth after all. He kept what he was a secret. No one else needed to know, it wasn't any of their business. So he acted like nothing was wrong and like he was happy. There was no reason to be suspicious if there was nothing to be suspicious about.
Yesung was what he was taken at face value. But at the end of the day, that was all a lie. No, Yesung wasn't stupid. He knew how to hide and make sure that no one knew. He wasn't obvious like all the others. He's had a lot of practice at making sure no one knew. After all, he'd been doing this for years, long before he ever entertained the thought of being an idol.
Yesung didn't cut. He wasn't that stupid. If he slipped up even once, everyone would know. Even if he stopped the scars would still be there. He couldn't have that. He couldn't have anyone asking questions. Scars were noticeable. Scars were obvious. Even if he hid them or made them in not obvious places they'd eventually been noticed.
He'd learned that the hard way when his mother caught him and the faint white lines around his left ankle. He'd used special scar cream and now they were all gone, faded over the years. No one would see them if they weren't looking really closely. No one had questioned him yet. It helped that he always wore an anklet.
But after that, he'd gotten much more careful. Cutting made it too easy to get caught. So he had to be creative. He couldn't cut because it made marks, so he had to find something that didn't create marks.
That's when he came upon elastic bands and snapping. It wasn't anywhere near as common as cutting, so if someone saw elastics around his list it wouldn't immediately ring warning bells. Lots of people carried around elastic bands. It wasn't suspicious.
The best part of it was that it left no scars. Just a small red mark for about 5 minutes tops. And he could do it anywhere without raising suspicion. It can simply be explained away as one of his elastics getting caught on something and snapping. No one would know.
He'd briefly entertained the idea of melting ice cubes and burning, but it wasn't practical. He really couldn't explain away burns and taking ice cubes everywhere was just stupid. Elastics were a much better choice.
So that's what he kept doing. No one ever questioned why he always seemed to have elastic bands around his wrists. They were just grateful he did when the other members had long hair and wanted to tie it up. The ponytails were amusing, so Yesung indulged them.
"Hey come look at this" Ryeowook called from the living room. Yesung along with Sungmin and Leeteuk left the kitchen and joined Ryeowook. He held out his phone which was left open on his Instagram. There was a picture of a girl's arm with a Super Junior wristband on.
But that wasn't the only thing that decorated the girl's arm. Some were clearly old, faint white lines among a sea of fresh red ones. They were small, clearly hesitant, and not all that impressive.
"She's stupid. She shouldn't be cutting," he blurted out without thought. He didn't bother to backtrack though. Ryeowook and Leeteuk gave him scandalized looks.
Yesung rolled his eyes. That was another thing he hated about cutting. Cutter always seemed to be crying for attention but then attacking people who actually wanted to help. Like how about no? Especially these types of people who posted pictures of their fresh scars and a piece of merch. Really.
"I don't know if I agree with how you worded that turtle hyung, but it isn't good to hurt yourself. Hand me the phone" Sungmin said. Leeteuk obliged. Sungmin quickly typed something before showing the phone to them.
He'd written "you shouldn't do this to yourself. You're beautiful just the way you are!" He smiled smugly. "See that's how you respond to that. These girls are just looking for someone to encourage them because they don't have anyone."
"I'll never understand why people do that," Ryeowook said after a moment of silence. "I mean why would someone harm themselves?" He continued in disbelief.
"Did you know it's actually quite common in idols? The pressure of being what we are just gets to some people," Yesung remarked nonchalantly, breaking the awkward silence after Ryeowook's questions. It was just facts after all. But apparently to Leeteuk it wasn't all that well known because he made a horrified face.
"You guys would tell me if you were hurting yourselves right?" He asked in a panicked tone. "Of course!" Ryeowook assured Leeteuk. "Yeah, but there's no need to worry with us, hyung! We wouldn't do that!" Sungmin agreed cheerfully. Yesung simply nodded along smiling.
"Of course we'd tell you!" Yesung said with a bright smile on his face as he stared directly at Leeteuk. "Though it's not like any of us are cutting. You'd definitely see the sign if we were!" He continued cheerfully, beginning to pick at one of his many elastic bands.
He subtly snapped the band and pulled it from the mess around his wrist. None of the others noticed anything odd about that and went back to a lighter tone of conversation. Once Yesung was sure he wouldn't be missed, he left to go to his room.
He deftly tied the two ends of the elastic together before placing it in a bag of similarly tied bands. He had a bag for each number of ties. Once he was no longer able to tie it anymore, he retired it to another bag. Maybe he was sentimental. Maybe he was careless. But people were a lot less likely to question bags of elastic bands compared to a razor and a bloodstained cloth.