Chapter Text
“Bro you think Mecha Man shits inside of that thing?”
“...what the fuck dude?”
“What? It's a legit question bro.”
“We’re eating here.”
“What, we can’t talk about shit just cause you're eating?”
A third voice joined the conversation, “I’m sure he just holds it in. It's not like he’s in there all day.”
“I mean but what if he has to go? On some emergency shit?”
“Maybe he’s got it hooked up to him, you know? Like he just goes whenever he has to.”
“Shit, you think it, like, fuels the suit? Like not the whole thing, but maybe as like a backup.”
One of the mooks had finally had enough. He pushed the chair back and snatched his tinfoiled-up burrito from the table, walking away even as one of the others called out and started calling him a bitch.
From his shadowy perch up on the cat-walk, Robert sighed.
A week ago, he’d almost died taking on a kaiju, the kind that seemed to love springing out of the pacific ocean around this time of year, and this Godzilla knockoff came with regenerative powers, as well.
He’d barely won. The mech was in pieces - he’d halved his dwindling inheritance just to maybe get it back to eighty percent by next week.
Four years in, Robert wasn’t sure how he’d make it another two.
But that wasn’t the point. The point was, he’d rather be back there on that frigid NorCal beach fighting an eldritch abomination than be here, listening to these dumbasses speculate over wether his suit doubled as a toilet.
He crouched down, peering through the grates in the catwalk as he tracked the one that had stood up. The man walked across the small warehouse and hopped up on top of a crate.
“Hey man, you sure you wanna eat near that thing?” A fourth person walked up, high caliber rifle in hand, atrocious trigger discipline making Robert wince.
Burrito-Man rolled his eyes as he tapped a small wooden box beside him, “what? You think I'll get cancer or something? Cause’ we’ve been here all day, If I got it you got it, bro.”
The other man shrugged. “Suit yourself, more money for me when your bitch ass dies from radiation.”
There he had it. The thing he’d been looking for. The reason he’d been camping out here, stalking a bunch of low-level idiots in a random warehouse.
A supervillain had hired them to transport whatever was in there. Robert didn’t know exactly what it was or what it did - he was barely able to keep up with piloting the suit, he didn’t have any leftover bandwidth for comprehending macguffins - but he knew it was dangerous, highly volatile and extremely radioactive.
He also knew that if Doctor Genesis got his hands on it, it would be a very bad time for the people of Southern California.
He surveyed the warehouse for what might have been the fortieth time. There were five of them in total. Two at the table on the far left, near the blown out windows, two more making the rounds with their rifles, and the one idiot chomping down on a burrito right next to the box that might as well had been glowing bright green.
The calculus came quickly. It was better to strike now. Three out of five didn’t have easy access to their guns. The two gunmen were far enough - one was making his way towards the stairs, the other was all the way on the other end of the warehouse.
Leap down onto the crate. Kick the guy in the face. Take the mystery box.
The emergency exit was close, much closer to the crates than the two gunmen were.
As always before doing something incredibly stupid, Robert took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and exhaled.
And then, a soft, slightly raspy voice made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
“You know, I figured you’d be taller.”
He’d barely spun around before something that felt like a boot tip hammered him across the jaw.
“Shit!”
“Fuck!”
He heard them scramble, a cacophony of discordant sounds joining the ringing in his ear as he stumbled backwards.
He doubled over as he took a fist to the stomach. He didn’t see it coming. He didn’t see anything at all, not even a faint outline through his swimming vision.
And then, as he clutched his stomach, he caught a glimpse of slender legs in torn black jeans, “Dude, you fucking suck without your little robot.“
With a swoosh, she vanished again. Invisible. Great.
He closed his eyes and focused on his hearing. Even through the ringing and the screaming from below, he managed to pick up the sound of her steps.
Steel-toed boots, they’d hurt like a motherfucker, but they were noisy.
This time, when she tried kicking him in the face, he caught her foot mid-swing, pain shooting up his elbow as the steel tip collided with his palm.
She swooshed back into existence. Light brown skin, pixie cut, septum piercing.
Focus, Robbie.
“Its not a robot, by the way.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” She snapped as she pulled her leg back and took a backward hop, getting into a fighting stance as they circled each other.
“Its not a robot. Robots operate on their own, I pilot my mech,” he said in a dry tone.
She scoffed, “fuckin’ nerd. Bet you get off on fuckin’ robots. Probably jerk off all the time inside that robot of yours. Probably piss in it too like they were saying.”
Robert raised an eyebrow, hand on his hip, “You seem really invested in picturing me jerking off.”
It was concerning how cute she looked as she glared, fists clenching, “go fuck yourself!”
“Holy shit! Its fucking Mecha Man!”
Jesus. How did he so easily forget about all the idiots with guns surrounding him?
She smirked, turning invisible as two of them made it up the catwalk. They shouldered their rifles, and Robert’s eyes widened as they aimed.
“Hold the fuck up you idiots I’m right here!!” She yelled, turning visible again, being forced to duck as the two shot at Robert, missing her by mere inches.
Robert had taken a leap off the catwalk, delivering a flying kick to an awestruck goon below and riding the spin out into a hard, stumbling landing.
His ankles would be swollen tomorrow, but he was mostly fine.
“Damn it! I almost killed Mecha Man!”
“You almost killed me, fucker!”
Good to know she’s alright.
Robert ducked under a punch and quickly closed the distance with his opponent, tackling him into a crate, feeling the man’s body go limp as he smashed the back of his head against hard wood.
Mecha Man never killed. He didn’t maim, either, but no hero could survive without doling out concussions left and right.
He rolled back to his feet, trying to remember if that was two or three left.
Three. Except he wasn’t counting her, and that was a very dangerous thing to do.
He rushed the closest one, who was still unarmed. The man settled back into a fighting stance, Robert leapt at him and bashed his elbow against the side of his skull.
Just as the man crumpled to the floor Robert felt a searing pain as a steel-toe dug into his side.
“Fuck!” He turned and swept his legs out, managing to trip her up and make her visible again. “Can you not use the boots?”
She pushed off the floor, her hair a windswept mess, the impish smile on her face twisting Robert’s stomach into knots. “What, scared of a little pain bitch-boy?”
Robert huffed as she lunged at him, flashing back and forth between visible and invisible, moving in a way that made it almost impossible to predict her movements.
“You’re really going hard for some idiots that almost killed you.” Robert said as he blocked a high kick with his forearm.
“Fuck those guys.” She snarled, “but I need to get paid.”
“Hey, Invisibitch! Leave some for us!”
Her eyes narrowed even before the smirk had settled on his face. “Invisibitch?”
“Yes, fucker! What are you, the fucking name police?”
“Just have some notes.”
“Fuck this, lets just grab the thing and run.”
He glanced over her shoulder as he saw the two remaining goons choosing to take the box and run instead of trying to fight him. It was a smart decision. Annoyingly so.
“Wow, bored of me already?”
The kick sent him flying onto a crate. The impact sent a jolt running up his spine, but Robet rolled backward, managing to climb on top.
“Not at all.” He said to thin air. “Just have to take care of that depleted uranium you’ve been guarding and we can go right back to whatever this is.”
Something rattled as he bumped it with his heel. He glanced back - a can of spray paint wobbling toward the edge of a crate.
The goons had grabbed the box, he needed to move.
He snatched the can and broke into a sprint. He heard a faint thud behind him.
She’d followed.
Perfect.
He twisted mid-stride and slashed the can in a wide arc, paint hissing through the air.
He’d aimed for the center of mass…
But instead, a face exploded into view, drenched in purple. Eyes squeezed tightly shut, mouth open in stunned outrage.
Robert almost let out a short guffaw before his heart froze.
She stopped, crashing onto the crate, clutching at her throat as she began gasping for air like a fish out of water.
She’d rolled onto her side, choked gasps growing worse by the second. She frantically felt around in her pocket. She grasped something, but her trembling fingers sent it sliding away, far out of her reach.
“Holy shit. That bitch got asthma or something?”
“Doesn’t matter, money’s right here, let's go.”
They were running. They were running and Robert needed to chase them down now. Chase them down before they delivered that box full of radioactive shit to a deranged arch-villain.
He glanced back at her, tears streaking down her face as her movements grew weaker by the second.
It wasn’t a choice at all.
“Hey, hey! You’re ok.” Robert knelt over her as he grabbed her inhaler.
“S-s-sh-” she croaked out, eyes turning glassy.
Robert shook it, feeling heavy liquid slosh around before he placed it over her lips, making sure she’d sealed them around it before pressing down.
There was a pull of air, a sharp hiss mixed with a raspy wheeze. He saw her chest begin to rise and fall shakily, eyes staring up into the ceiling as she shuddered, body very slowly coming down.
He kept his hand on the inhaler, kept it in her mouth. She had a hand over his own, and after a while, she brushed his off. Robert let her take another hit as he fell back, letting out a sigh of relief.
“W-Why would you…” she croaked, trying to find her voice.
“I needed a way to see you.” Robert said.
She shook her head, looking very irritated. After one more hit from the inhaler, she was able to talk with only a heavy rasp, “why would you fucking save me instead of going after the thing?”
Robert lifted an eyebrow, “why would you run around doing villain shit when you have asthma?”
“First off, fuck you. Second of-” her eyes widened. She lunged at Robert, pulling him down a second before a hail of bullets flew overhead.
“What the fuck, Invisibitch! I almost had him!”
The man Robert had concussed had found a rifle, and he was now fumbling to swap in a fresh magazine.
Robert rolled off from under her, movements resembling a struggling worm more than anything tactical. He fell off the crate in a mess of limbs and dashed after him, ankles already telling him it was a bad idea.
He was maybe a half-second slow. The guy had already reloaded. Robert smacked the barrel down just as he pulled the trigger.
The butt swung up and cracked the man under the chin, knocking him out, but not before two shots rang out, just in front of Robert’s foot.
“Gah!” Robert yelped, hands jumping to his ears as they rang off like church bells. He fell backwards onto the floor.
The gun clattered as the man collapsed, and a few seconds later, Robert registered the pain.
It wasn’t terrible yet, that was for later, but it was sharp and biting. He looked down to find his left foot bleeding.
“Nghhh!” He grunted as he tried to push himself up. The moment weight settled over his left foot, he fell back down.
“Fuck me,” he muttered, glancing around.
The other two guys were still out. He wasn’t in any imminent danger. Well, besides–
“Are you…?”
She was standing over him, face covered in purple spray paint and tear tracks, eyes raw and red, gaze fixed on his foot.
Robert winced as he flexed his toes, “just shrapnel.”
And then, she snorted.
“Wouldn’ta happened if you’d had steel toes,” she tapped the tip of her boot against the hard concrete.
Robert huffed, “never said they weren’t practical, just that they hurt like hell.”
She shook her head in disbelief, casting a look at the carnage around them.
“Cmon, here.”
She helped him up, slinging his arm over her shoulder as Robert hopped on one foot.
“You okay?” He asked as he tried not to put too much weight on her.
“I was great before you fucking sprayed me in the face,” she said, no heat in her tone.
“In my defense, you were kinda kicking my ass.”
“Bet you’re into that sorta shit.”
He snorted, and then, slowly, the two hobbled their way out of the building.
Outside, the cool night air cut through the adrenaline still surging through Robert’s system.
They walked in silence for several minutes. Robert let her guide him down beneath the pier. Waves crashed in the darkness, the sound dulling the ringing in his ears as she eased him against a wooden pillar before dropping onto the sand in front of him.
She took out her inhaler and took a long, steady drag. Robert leaned back, wincing as the splinters pressed into his back.
“So what…” she asked after a moment, “you call one of your hero buddies to pick you up?”
Robert shook his head. “I get out of this suit and hobble my ass over to the nearest hospital.”
She blinked. “Seriously?”
Then she leaned forward.
Robert tensed as her fingers found the edge of his mask, just beneath his eye. Their eyes locked, and she gave it a slight upward tug.
“You know, a lot of people would pay good money for Mecha Man’s secret identity…”
She pulled just enough to expose a sliver of cheekbone, fingers brushing over the smattering of freckles she found there.
“Sucks that you’re just some robo-fucking loser,” she pulled back, “bet your all fucked-up under there anyways.”
Robert chuckled, “I’m hideous.”
He smiled at her.
She shifted, suddenly self-conscious, scrubbing at the dried paint on her face. It didn’t budge.
He kept staring.
She coughed, then frowned. “What?”
He shook his head. “Why were you running around with those guys?”
She glared, “what? You trying to fucking save me or something?”
“Yes.”
Her head snapped up so fast it almost looked painful. He met her incredulous look dead on, not wavering for even a second.
“I…” she faltered, caught off-guard, “I don’t run with crews. This was my first and for-fucking-sure last time. The money was just too good to pass up.”
“That’s not what I’m asking.”
Her glare came back twice as sharp, “you don’t fucking know me. What? I made your dick hard so you think I should be working at a Hooters instead?”
He didn’t flinch. “You have asthma, you could have died in that warehouse. There’s a million other things you could be doing.”
“Easy for you to say! You didn’t grow up around criminals. You don’t have villain powers.”
“Villain powers?”
“I turn invisible. I sneak around and spy on people.”
Robert blinked, “that’s fucking bullshit.”
“Bullshit?!”
“Yes, bullshit. I pilot a giant ro–mech that shoots missiles. On the sliding scale, I’m way closer to villainy than you are.”
She didn’t have a response for that, so she just continued to glare at him, a little bit weaker this time.
“Sue Storm from the Fantastic Four, the daughter from the Incredibles… the one guy from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen…” Robert ticked them off his fingers.
She let out a reluctant snort, “fuck you, dude.”
He rubbed his chin, “can’t think of a single villain.”
Her face scrunched up in concentration, “the Predator.”
“Doesn’t count.”
“Whatever.” She exhaled sharply, “so what? You expect me to just… turn good? Because you told me to?”
He shook his head. “I don’t expect it. But I’d like you to try.”
She stared at him for a long moment, something quieter settling behind her eyes.
“You’re something else, Mecha Man.”
He smiled, “you know, I never caught your name.”
“You heard it. It's Invisibitch.”
“I’m not calling you that.”
She held his gaze a second longer, then pushed herself to her feet.
“I’ll see you around.”
And with a light swoosh, she vanished.
…
One week later…
The lady at the real estate office held the door for him. He gave her a nod and a smile as he hobbled out.
One point five million. That’s how much he was going to get for his home. His father’s home.
Mecha Man would eat it all up in under a year.
Robert wasn’t sure how he’d make it to year six, but he’d cross that bridge when it collapsed right under him.
He shuffled his way to the elevator. He really should have brought a cane, or something.
“G-going d-down?” A nervous looking teen - maybe a couple years younger than him - asked, his blue and yellow shirt completely soaked.
“Yeah.”
He pressed the button with a wet squeak. Robert stood quietly beside him, keeping enough distance not to step on the growing puddle beneath him.
The elevator announced its arrival with a ding.
The kid held the door open as Robert hobbled his way in. He gave him a smile and a nod as he leaned against the left corner.
And then he saw her.
Light brown skin. Pixie cut. Septum piercing. The most gorgeous face he had ever seen.
She wore a tight black turtleneck dress and some worn converse.
Their eyes locked the moment the doors closed.
There was nothing but tense, charged silence as they stared at each other. Her eyes didn’t flicker to his foot, nor the chunk missing from his ear. She’d seen it all the moment he’d walked in.
She smirked, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the wall, biting her lip in a way that made his heart skip a beat.
“Ummm…” stuck between them, the kid wrung his hands nervously, “I… umm… m-my floor… I think I’ll take the stairs.”
He bolted out at the next floor, leaving a damp spot behind.
They continued their staring contest for several more floors.
She pressed a button, and the elevator stopped.
Robert raised an eyebrow. “You know, there’s people waiting downstairs.”
She shrugged, “they’ll deal,” her eyes raked over his body, “guess you were right, you really are hideous.”
Her words didn’t match the look she was giving him.
He nodded towards the folder in her hand, “job interview?”
“Yep. PI’s office. Pretty sure I didn’t get it,” she looked at his own folder, “decided to turn in your robot suit to be a phone sex operator?”
He chuckled, “actually, just sold my childhood home so I can continue playing around in my robot suit.”
“Hot.” She tilted her head to the side.
“Robert.” He said.
She seemed surprised that he offered his name, but surprise soon gave way to a pleased smile, “Courtney.”
“Courtney… I like it.”
“Better than Invisibitch?”
“Much better.”
“Well, sucks for you. Seeing as my redemption arc got cancelled before it even began, I’m prooobably gonna have to bring her back out.”
Robert tilted his head, “oh really?”
“Yes, really. Gotta pay the bills somehow, Robbie.”
The air was charged. Electric. Her smile was teasing, promising trouble.
He’d never felt more alive.
“Alright, we’re getting lunch. I clearly didn’t get through to you back at the pier.”
She licked her lips. “Your treat.”
The elevator shuddered softly as it started moving again.