Chapter Text
And in our memory, pen the end of our journey…
The last resonant notes of that beautiful, damning song echoed in the silence of your room. Your heavy breaths and heavier heart were ignored by the darkening of the screen as the final chapter of Amphoreus: The Epic Saga of Heroes, closed.
[Trailblaze Mission: Interlude]
[Stay tuned to find out what happens next in the upcoming installment]
And with that, the story that had gripped you in it's unwavering confines for the past year was over.
And the ending…
Was so fucking bullshit!
Because what do you mean Cyrene's deus ex machina power of love was what beat Irontomb in the end after a 33550336 worded info-dump of her past in a feeble attempt to get us to care about her? What do you mean the Chrysos Heirs just dissolved into memory like that after everything they sacrificed? WHAT DO YOU MEAN Phainon's story arc fizzled out to nothing after the absolute cinema in 3.4 with no consequence of you know, his Destruction Emanator status? Oh and to top it all off, Cyrene just had to sacrifice herself for a concept that was introduced in the last five minutes of the patch, just so the Honkai Impact 3rd players could feel sad and depressed over their beloved Elysia leaving them once again.
This, you thought, will not do.
Wiping away the wetness from your tear-streaked face (because of course you were crying at the ending despite its gaping flaws, who wouldn't after any story that altered your brain chemistry in the span of 12 months?)
(12? Just like the 12 Chrysos Heirs? God, this game was going to be the death of you).
Anyway. Wiping away your tears, you opened up Reddit and navigated to r/HonkaiStarRail, just to get bombarded with a menagerie of ABSOLUTE CYRENEMA images and "See you tomorrow, Amphoreus :')" and "Is it just me or was 3.7 kinda underwhelming?" and "Ok 3.7's story was great but did I have to sit through hours of yap to get there?" and "Fellas can we stop with the negativity? It's getting tiring."
With so many mixed opinions, what was one more to the list?
u/PhainonsWombTattoo
3.7 was the absolute WORST ending to a piece of media that I have had the displeasure of sitting through…
You took in a deep breath. You cracked your knuckles. And you were off.
~
Many grueling hours and 108,642 cycles words later, your magnum opus was complete, a shining literary analysis that would have had your high school english teacher, nay, your university's english professors in tears from it's splendour. Filled to the brim with textual analysis and notes on every thematic parallel that wasn't delivered (ahaha) upon, from the Genius Society's involvement to the slapdash "Trailblazer was the Hero all along" storyline they went with, it was a glowing example of what a literature phd should look like. All in the impressive span of 4 days.
All that was left to do was post.
Your hand, shaky (was it supposed to be that shaky?), gripped the mouse. The cursor slowly (was it supposed to be that slow?) moved to the top corner of the screen. Your heart was racing, no, palpitating so hard it hurt, and your breaths came out shallow. The nerves, it must be. Sharing the labour of your love for a story that changed your life so fundamentally, it was no wonder you were stressed. In fact, your head was reeling from it, so much so that you couldn't even…make out the letters…of the POST button…
Through your delirium, the strangest thought wormed its way into your mind. Somehow, despite everything else, you weren't sweating. Your skin was dry, but somehow clammy?
Wow, something was really wrong with your body, huh?
Actually, you probably should have figured that one out when your dizzy spell started, what, a day ago? Considering you were staring at your screen without a break for 96 hours straight, no rest, no food, no—
Water.
Well, shit. That would explain the… everything.
You tried to reach for the relief of your water bottle, only to realise it was nonexistent. Your useless legs refused to move, let alone take you to the kitchen for even a drop. Ah. You were going to die here. The thought came to you calmer than you had imagined. It was pretty understandable.
Thus, you decided, you were going out with a bang.
Steeling your resolve, you forced every ounce of your remaining energy into your index finger, fighting against its unbearably trembling state until it held firm. With the last of your strength, you pressed down on the mouse, and you posted your essay with a chilling cry, a futile but beautifully final stand against the woes of bad storytelling.
"Stupid game, stupid devs!"
And everything went dark.
~
[Activation code: Stupid game, stupid devs. Automatically triggering system.]
~
You didn't know if you believed in an afterlife. Eternal peace, reincarnation, the sweet embrace of nothing, all that mattered to you was living your present day to the fullest, so those thoughts slipped from your mind as quickly as they entered.
Until now, because with the sun peeking through gorgeously crafted marble columns, casting soft shadows on a grand hallway housing a pool of the most pure, crystalline water, you could only believe this was heaven.
Naturally, you just had to turn your face to the sky, bask in that familiar glowing, golden light of the…
Your head snapped to the source of light.
Wait… that wasn't the sun… that was…
Kephale's dawn device?
"What the fuck."
…
Before you could even register the whatthefuckkery of why Kephale of all things was in heaven, you couldn't help but notice that was not your voice. Instead, the voice that left your mouth was deep, with a somehow condescending, slimy tone despite your utter shock. A voice that sounded oddly like…
You looked down at your hands. Horrifyingly, but not surprisingly, they were metallic, and plated with gold and silver, but you hardly acknowledged that in favour of the wide gaping hole in your chest.
No. Nonononononono.
You ran to one of the pools— not pools, baths, this must be Marmoreal Palace— to confirm your, at this point, already proven suspicion. Indeed, looking into the basin, the crystalline water was marred with an all-too familiar face staring back at you. No, not staring, for his eyes were covered by a black helmet, overtop a marble-white face and lighter hair.
You, to your horror, were inhabiting the body of none other than Lycurgus, the Theoros and scummiest asshole in the Amphoreus storyline.
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
A sudden beep from your (or Lygus'?) phone interrupted your burst of confusion.
[Welcome to the System. This System operates in line with the design concept ‘YOU CAN YOU UP, NO CAN NO BB’]
The chatbox UI was oddly similar to that of HSR's text system. Actually, that made a lot of sense.
[We hope to provide you with the best possible experience. It is our sincere wish that during your experience, you can fulfill your desire, and according to your wishes, transform a stupid work into a high-quality, magnificent, first-rate classic. We hope you enjoy.]
You didn't have the slightest clue what that meant.
Alright. So. You had to collect your thoughts. How would one begin in a scenario like this? It appeared HSR itself is texting you to remedy a cosmic-scale universe-threatening sci-fi-action-fantasy story the likes of which no one on Earth has ever seen, a story that killed you stupidly trying to fix in mere words only.
Maybe this wasn't heaven. Maybe it was hell.
Wait a sec…
Wasn't this like the Sleazebag's Self Help Programme or whatever it was that your friends were badgering you to read?
Dammit who knew a silly little danmei would actually help you in a real life scenario?
Okay, think. From the tiniest spoiler-free tidbits of that novel your friends spilled, what could you gather? The MC apparently had a pretty simple goal: survive. And by that, he meant kiss the protagonist's ass the whole time.
Would you want to stoop that low though? You thought for one more second.
This protagonist was Phainon. Of course you would stoop that low.
Rewriting the story, however (which, you would like to reiterate, was a cosmic-scale universe-threatening sci-fi-action-fantasy story the likes of which no one on Earth has ever seen). You need to survive. And save Phainon. And the rest of your beloved Chrysos Heirs.
All while doing so as Lygus of all people? The system couldn't have given you any Chrysos Heir? Any at all? Or heck, the Trailblazer, you know, the actual player character of HSR?
Boy, did you have your work cut out for you.