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"Second thoughts?" Loki whispered into Tom's ear. He was standing directly behind Tom, his chest flush against Tom's back and his breath wafting against Tom's neck. Tom gave an involuntary little shiver and shook his head.
It was not surprising that Loki was beginning to doubt his resolution. Tom had been standing as if rooted to the floor for quite some time, staring at the glowing apple in his palm while completely lost in thought. The apple was smaller than it had appeared to be last night. Then, it had been the only source of light in the room. Now, with the morning sunlight streaming in at the French doors, it looked diminished. It was really only big enough for a few mouthfuls, and yet it promised to change Tom's entire life.
"Just thinking," Tom said absently. "Wondering."
"About?" Loki prompted, and then proceeded to make speech difficult by mouthing at Tom's left ear lobe.
"Ah! Loki, that's a bit distracting," Tom protested.
With a put-upon sigh, Loki backed away from him. Tom turned to face the god, admiring the sight of him in a simple, well-fitting green tunic and leather pants. For his part, Tom was still clad in pajama bottoms and his dressing gown. It was a lazy morning after a very late and eventful night, a rare indulgence in his regimented life.
Loki smirked at him, but there was a degree of tension in the way he held himself. It was obvious from the set of his shoulders and the twitching of his hands at his sides that he was restraining himself from touching, from compelling. His future hung in the balance too, Tom reminded himself.
"I was thinking about the fact that these are the last moments of my mortal life," Tom explained as he restlessly shifted the apple from one had to the other, then back again. "And I was wondering... who will I be in the next life?"
"You are afraid that this will change you," Loki said.
"It will change me."
"Ah," Loki said, noticeably relaxing. His smile turned warm, losing its bitter edge. "Physically, it will change you. But that is not what concerns you."
"Have you ever heard the phrase, 'power corrupts?'"
Loki snorted. "Fame, fortune, and magic have not corrupted you yet, Thomas. I don't believe you have anything to worry about."
Tom cracked a rueful smile at that. The fame and fortune were… fun. And useful, of course. He was under no illusions that he wasn't a very blessed man. But those things would fade. They had a time limit, which was why he was trying to make the most of them while he could. His magic was something he had not explored very thoroughly yet. It was a part of him that had lain dormant for so long that he could easily imagine a future in which he never had a reason to call upon it again. It certainly didn't make him feel powerful, not when he knew so little about it. But the golden apple was a different matter entirely. It promised him strength, energy, and a lifespan that could be counted in millennia rather than decades. It would render him nearly indestructible by human standards. How could that fail to change him?
As if he had been reading Tom's thoughts (Tom was pretty sure he couldn't do that, but they probably did need to have a talk about the full range of Loki's powers), Loki made a soft humming sound deep in his throat. "Perhaps some change is inevitable. There is a reason, after all, why mortals are not regularly elevated to godhood."
"That's my point," Tom said, eyeing the apple once more. "This isn't a normal human experience. I have no point of reference, no one to look to and say, 'well, it worked out all right for him, so there's nothing to worry about.'"
"You like adventures," Loki pointed out. "New experiences, new discoveries."
"I do," Tom acknowledged. That much was indisputable, and he found himself smiling again as he thought of the odd adventures he had already shared with this god-slash-boyfriend of his. "But most adventures have an ending. This one could go on for a very, very long time."
Loki's gave him a significant look, clearly stating without words that he would be happy for this particular adventure to go on forever. For a moment, Tom forgot his misgivings in another rush of dizzy happiness. Loki had come back for him. Loki wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. And there was nothing that could change Tom's mind about what he wanted. He could spend hours wondering about the person he would become over the next few years, centuries, and millennia, or he could eat the damn apple and take Loki back to bed for the rest of the day.
"You appear to have made your decision," Loki said.
Not reading my mind, then. Just observant. "I made it last night," Tom answered. "Now I'm just… ruminating."
Loki gave another snort and made a dismissive gesture in the air with both hands. "Well, your ruminations are testing the limits of my patience."
Tom was on the verge of pointing out that it wasn't very difficult to test the limits of Loki's patience, but he stopped himself before uttering the words. The truth was that Loki had been patient. Loki had made it clear that he had loved Tom since their first face-to-face meeting. Yet Loki had sent Tom back to earth after that encounter, believing that they would never meet again. When circumstances threw them back together months later, Loki had exerted no pressure, extracted no promises, and had left again without knowing whether he would return. If Loki had been honest about his feelings (and although honesty wasn't Loki's strong point, Tom couldn't think of a single instance where Loki had outright lied to him), Loki had been living with a great deal of uncertainty regarding his love life for quite some time. He had been patient with Tom. Self-sacrificing, even.
Now Loki was worried that Tom wouldn't accept the offered immortality after all. Tom experienced a twinge of guilt; it had been cruel of him to drag this out and keep Loki on edge. It was time to take the step which had been inevitable since he had first seen the glowing apple last night.
Tom didn't say anything. He simply lifted the apple to his lips and took his first bite.
He had one clear view of Loki's eyes, widening with surprise. After that, it was a bit difficult to focus on Loki, or upon anything else, other than the effects of the apple upon his own body. The flavor – rich, warm, and oddly spicy – burst upon his tongue. It didn't taste like an apple at all. It didn't taste like anything he had ever eaten in his life, in fact, but if summer sunlight could be bottled, he was certain it would taste a bit like this.
Then Tom forgot about the taste. He was too busy noticing the strange sparks of sensation that started in his belly and gradually spread to the rest of his body. He began to tremble as the little sparks turned into tongues of flame that were alternately searing and pleasurable. He felt a tickling sensation like phantom fingertips skimming over his skin, leaving little prickles of heat in their wake. Soon he was burning, burning everywhere, and it was simultaneously too much and not nearly enough.
"Loki!" he gasped, finally finding his voice after several moments of speechlessness.
"You are fine, Thomas," came Loki's soothing voice, cutting through the fog of intense pleasure-pain which clouded Tom's thoughts.
"But I can't… It's…"
"It's incomplete," Loki murmured. He sounded closer now, but Tom couldn't make him out through the blur of colors dancing before his eyes. He reached out blindly for his lover, and felt strong hands seize him by his shoulders. "You have to finish the apple," Loki said.
Oh god. If this was how he felt after one bite, how was he supposed to survive eating the whole apple? Tom let out a hysterical laugh.
"Trust me, Thomas," Loki said, and there was a smile in his voice. Tom was unaccountably reassured, even though he still felt like he was standing in the middle of a bonfire.
Shakily, he raised the apple to his lips and took another bite. And another. And another. There was a roaring in his ears, and he went from experiencing a few tremors to full-body shudders. The pain spiked, drowning out the pleasure, and although he couldn't hear anything by that point, Tom was pretty sure he was screaming.
Then abruptly, the pain receded. His eyesight cleared and he could hear the mingled sound of his own panting and Loki's stream of murmured reassurances. The fire burning under his skin lost none of its intensity, but it began to feel good. Very good. Amazing, even.
"A little more," Loki murmured, still holding Tom's shoulders to steady him. "One more bite. I told you that you were fine."
Tom huffed and bit into the apple one last time. He tossed the core aside as he chewed. Loki leaned forward to lick the last traces of the sweet-spicy flavor from Tom's lips, and a jolt of concentrated, mind-bending pleasure rushed through Tom. He gave a deep, helpless groan and sagged against Loki.
"Oh god," he gasped out.
"I know," Loki murmured, lowering his head to nuzzle Tom's neck.
Tom's skin prickled all over with goose bumps. He reached out and took two handfuls of Loki's tunic, holding on for dear life. "Loki… I need… Oh god, that feels incredible. D-do that again…"
Loki gave a low chuckle and whispered against Tom's skin, "Everything will feel incredible to you for the next twelve hours or so. You might wish to pace yourself." He nipped lightly at the tender flesh of Tom's neck, eliciting another deep moan.
"B-bed. Now. Please," Tom whimpered.
"If you insist," Loki said, and obligingly teleported them to Tom's bed.
They did not leave it for the rest of the day.