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In Mickey’s defence, it was really fucking dark.
It was all innocent, really. He had just stumbled home from having drinks with his work friends when he came across Ian lying in bed. At least, he had thought it was Ian. He had thought Lip was the one lying on their couch, since he was crashing at their place for a few days and it only made sense. So he took off all his clothes and decided to surprise Ian. However, when he climbed into the bed and groped around, only to end up squeezing a significantly smaller dick, he realised it wasn’t his husband.
‘What the fuck?’ the other man groaned and Mickey’s face paled as he recognised Ian’s dickhead brother.
‘Fucking no,’ Mickey cried out, jumping out of the bed and rushing out of the room. However, before he could make his escape to fuckin’…Antarctica or somewhere equally as far away, Lip was following after him and turning on the light. Mickey immediately jumped behind the couch so his ass and junk wasn’t visible.
‘What the fuck just happened?’ Lip laughed.
‘No, nothing happened.’ Mickey scowled, daring him to say another word.
‘What’s goin’ on?’ Ian asked sleepily from the couch as he sat up, looking adorable as he rubbed at his eyes. He frowned when he spotted his very naked husband hiding behind the couch from his brother, who looked really fucking amused. He repeated his question, this time more firmly, ‘What’s going on?!’
‘Your husband just tried to seduce me,’ Lip snorted.
‘I did fuckin’ not! Like I’d ever want your ass,’ Mickey sneered, blush rising to his cheeks. He then sighed, seeing Ian’s increasingly annoyed expression, and explained, ‘I climbed into our bed, thinking it was you and I sorta…grabbed your brother’s dick…’
Ian sighed, rubbing at his eyes. ‘I’m too tired for this. Mick, get your clothes on—Wait, no, Lip get the fuck out of our bed and Mick, get in bed. Keep your clothes off, though.’
Lip groaned. ‘Fine. I’ll sleep on your shitty couch again. I don’t want to hear any funny business going on, though.’
‘Well, then, feel free to get the fuck out of our apartment,’ Mickey said breezily, clearly smug about getting his way as he strode butt-naked past the couch and Lip and into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
Lip had a problem. He had a big fucking problem. It was a problem he didn’t even want to admit to himself, but he knew it was real.
He had a crush on Mickey Milkovich.
No, fuck, not a crush, that implies getting along with someone and wanting to date them; no, he just wanted to fuck his brother’s husband.
I just want to fuck my brother’s husband, he repeated the words to himself in his head. God, I’m fucked up.
Still, no matter how fucked up, it was true. Ever since he had gotten pretty much groped in his sleep by the other man and had caught sight of his naked ass, Lip wanted Mickey. Lip had always knew that on some level he wouldn’t mind fucking guys. He never wanted to get fucked, though. Nothing was going up his fucking ass, but he’s seen a few guys he wouldn’t mind fucking up the ass. And, unfortunately, Mickey was one that he intensely had his eye on.
He wasn’t exactly sure how to get his brother to agree to let him fuck his husband at least once, and he wasn’t sure how to get Mickey to want to fuck him at least once. Clearly, he knew he couldn’t really do it…or could he? No, no, he fucking couldn’t. It was ridiculous to even think about it.
As he lay on the couch two morning’s later, trying to distract himself from thinking about fucking Mickey or trying to fuck Mickey, the man himself strode in wearing nothing but boxer briefs. Lip couldn’t help but raise his head to watch as he walked into the kitchen. Letting out a rough exhale, he let his head drop back against the arm of the couch.
‘You alright, man?’ Mickey asked, frowning and handing him a coffee a few minutes later, where Lip was still scowling at the ceiling.
Lip all but jumped when Mickey appeared, but just nodded and grabbed the coffee. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes before taking a sip. ‘Fucking good coffee.’
Mickey just shrugged and went into the bedroom with another steaming cup. From the lounge room, Lip could hear Mickey say to Ian, ‘Get up, sleepy-face. Time to start the fuckin’ day.’
When Mickey came back into the room, Lip asked, ‘Did Ian take his meds?’
Mickey scowled, shrugging. ‘I’m assumin’ so, but fuck it if I’m gonna check his mouth.’
Ever since Ian broke up with Mickey all those years ago, and then they got back together around a year later, Mickey’s been even more sensitive about Ian’s meds than Ian. It was clearly a touchy subject in their relationship and Lip thought it was possibly part of the reason behind their break up.
Lip only nodded in response before meeting Mickey in the kitchen, where he seemed to be cooking them all breakfast. ‘So…I gotta ask…who’s got the better dick, me or Ian?’
Mickey shot Lip a death glare, not bothering to answer the stupid fucking question before turning back to the bacon silently.
Lip only smirked at the reaction. ‘Well?’
‘I thought I said to never fuckin’ bring it up again, Phillip,’ Mickey sneered, flicking some hot oil at Lip’s bare chest.
‘Shit, fuck!’ Lip cursed as the oil burnt his chest. ‘That’s not fucking funny!’
‘Neither’s your shit-stirring,’ Mickey mumbled, turning the bacon.
Lip rolled his eyes, leaning on the counter next to Mickey and trying to ignore his ass in those boxer briefs. ‘C’mon. I’m just making conversation.’
‘Fine.’ Mickey smiled tightly, an edge in his voice that made Lip’s hair rise on his arms. ‘Ian’s is definitely better. Bigger, nicer, he probably can use it better, too.’
‘How would you know?’ Lip blurted out, unable to help himself. It was like he had the biggest urge to flirt, but he knew he should be holding himself back. ‘Not like you’ve ever tried it.’
Mickey only snorted, leaning in close to Lip.
Lip swallowed dryly, eyes flickering down to Mickey’s full lips as he tried desperately not to get a boner or grab Mickey’s ass.
Mickey eyed Lip’s covered junk for a second before meeting his eyes. ‘I don’t fuckin’ need to,’ Mickey laughed, somewhat genuinely.
Lip only snorted and shoved Mickey away, which made Mickey cackle. He always had loved messing with Lip, and that really didn’t help Lip’s situation. He could hear Ian coming out of the bedroom and began to panic. Clearing his throat and looking down at his semi, he decided to go have a shower and take care of his…problem. He excused himself, with one last look at Mickey’s ass, before heading past his brother and into the bathroom.
Ian’s brother was smart, always had been, but unfortunately for Lip, he was not very smart in the art of subtlety. Ian knew Lip had the hots for Mickey, and he really didn’t like it, but he was also pretty unsure of what to do about it. He didn’t think he could say anything to his brother outright about it, because—what if he was wrong? It’s not like he could ask Mickey to lead him on to check and then tell him off if he was right.
He just didn’t know what to do. For the past few days, it had been attempted sneaky looks at his husband, it had been sleazy lines or jokes, and it was getting on his last nerve. He had already tried getting Mickey to wear more clothes around the house, but that wasn’t really fair because it wasn’t Mickey’s fault Ian’s brother was a pervert. He had tried taking Mickey out a lot, and having sex really loudly as some kind of fucked up way to mark his territory, like Mickey was a tree he was pissing on. He never really liked feeling like he had to do that, and it wasn’t often that he did, because he felt secure in their relationship, and vice-versa.
But walking past the bathroom to hear his brother moaning moments after he had seen him check out his husband’s ass again was the last straw. He hurried past the bathroom, not really wanting to hear anymore, and went into the kitchen to spend the morning with his husband. Eventually, Mickey headed out, and Ian finally got to corner his brother.
‘No,’ was all Ian managed to say.
Lip frowned up at him from the couch. ‘What?’
‘You’re not allowed to check out my husband, or hit on him, and you’re most definitely not allowed to fuck him.’
‘Ian, I’m not—’
‘Cut the shit, Lip,’ Ian spat. ‘I’ve fucking seen you look at his ass, and I heard you jerk off the other day and say his name, so don’t even.’
‘You’re fucking listening to me jerking off?’ Lip exclaimed. ‘Ian, what the fuck? That’s so fucked up!’
‘I’m not listening in on you, asshole; I just happened to hear you! Besides, you think that’s fucked up? What do you call wanting to fuck your brother-in-law?’ Ian was pretty much shouting now. ‘We’re fucking married! He’s my husband, and you have to keep your fucking eyes off him! I don’t care how innocent you think it is.’
Lip clenched his jaw, looking at the ground for a moment, before looking back up and asking, ‘Want a smoke?’
Ian frowned. ‘You know I quit.’
‘Well, I want a smoke.’ Lip heaved himself off the couch and headed out to the fire escape, settling down and lighting his cigarette.
Ian dropped down beside him, sighing slightly. ‘Look, man, I’m sorry for yelling, alright? It’s still not fucking okay, and it needs to stop, but I’m sorry for going off at you.’
Lip shrugged. ‘Nah, it’s founded. Maybe it’s not even Mickey, though.’
Ian frowned. ‘What do you mean by that? My husband is the hottest guy you’re going to find around these parts.’
Lip scoffed. ‘Fuck off, man. You know that’s not what I meant. I mean, maybe it’s not really about Mickey at all, although…yeah, but maybe it’s about me wanting to try something…new.’
‘You mean guys?’ Ian laughed. ‘Never even realised you were curious before now.’
Lip shrugged, taking another drag. ‘I dunno. Maybe I’m not interested in guys, but…might as well try, right? Don’t put off to tomorrow what you can do today, right?’
‘I remember Fi saying that,’ Ian laughed, ‘She was saying it about homework, though, not fucking guys.’
‘Same rules apply.’
Ian only laughed, resting back against the brick wall outside of his apartment. ‘You know you gotta try and find an apartment now, right? Can’t have you around Mickey.’
Lip frowned. ‘What, you think I’m gonna attack him or somethin’?’
‘No. It’s just…I don’t want to tell him about you, because your sexuality is none of his business, but it’s also unfair that you are checking him out all the time and he doesn’t even know. So…kinda stuck.’
Lip nodded. ‘It’s alright, little brother. I’ll find somewhere. Always do.’
Ian nodded too before settling in for an afternoon of hanging out with his brother.
The next month, when Lip brought home a boyfriend, everyone besides Ian and Mickey were shocked.
Mickey had only nodded and said, ‘Sounds about right.’
Ian frowned. ‘What? How did you even guess?’
Mickey rolled his eyes. ‘Dude has been checking out my ass for years, man.’