Work Text:
"So," Tony asks, leaning against the workbench as he watches Peter do his homework, "how's your aunt?"
Peter doesn't even look up, he hates that he's used to this by now. "Good."
"Mhm, still single?"
"Oh my god," Peter groans, dropping his head onto the table.
"What?" Tony shrugs. "Just asking. She's a very attractive woman. I'm surprised, is all."
"You cannot keep saying stuff like that, Mr. Stark!"
"Why not? I'm not wrong."
"You're—she's my aunt!"
Tony doesn't bother hiding his grin now. "And?"
Peter exhales slowly. Okay, this is fine. This is fine. He's just gotta change the topic. What can he say that would actually get him to shut up, though?
Tony's still waiting for an answer, eyebrows raised. He thinks he won, oh, Peter can't let that happen. "How's your son doing?" Peter regrets the words as soon as he says them.. welp, too late now.
Tony pauses. Like, actually pauses. Peter doesn't think he's ever seen the man so taken aback. "I'm sorry.. What?"
"Harley. How's he doing?"
“That’s—first of all, that’s not—no. We’re not doing that.”
"Doing what?" Peter bats his eyes. Might as well double down. Besides, he's gotta admit its funny watching Tony trip over his words.
“That." Tony points at him accusingly, taking a step back. "That thing you just did. That’s evil, Parker. Pure evil.”
"I'm just asking a question Mr. Stark," Peter gives the most innocent smile he can manage. "Just like how you always ask about May."
"Nope. Off limits."
"Why? How is my asking about Harley different from you asking about May?"
Tony opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. "It just is."
"Uh-huh."