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“Congratulations Uncle!” “Wait, what do you mean you’re the Dad?!” by regulus3
Fandoms: Final Fantasy XVI
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
Clive, on cloud nine and braincell-free, hit "post" on social media like a man possessed, screaming to the world: "My baby brother Joshua is having a baby!"
Little did he remember that his three-year secret romance with Joshua was so hush-hush, even their pet goldfish didn’t know. Cue the chaos! His friends blew up his DMs with "CONGRATS UNCLE!!!" messages, while business rivals started placing bets on who the "mystery dad" could be—from the mailman to Barnabas, the horse-breeding weirdo who won’t stop spamming him with "stallion bloodline" metaphors. And to make matters even more absurd, Barnabas still hasn’t given up on luring Clive into his bizarre Mythos Initiative, treating this whole paternity guessing game as just another weirdly timed sales pitch.
Clive is now curled in a ball, cringing so hard his spine might snap, while Joshua alternates between cackling and hyperventilating. Flashbacks of their near-caught make-out sessions are looping in his head like a bad rom-com. They’re staring down the barrel of an "explain NOW" storm, and let’s be real—this mess is equal parts hilarious, mortifying, and peak chaotic energy.