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"Asahi."
He looked away from his horse, the panic that had been building up in his chest releasing as he realized who it was. Nishinoya wandered further into the horse stable, sidling up to him.
"I knew you'd be here." He leaned forward, petting Ace gently. She nickered in greeting and Nishinoya looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "You know Daichi's looking for you, right?"
"Why do you think I'm here?" he said, glancing at the entrance as if Daichi would be coming in any second. Which, to be fair, had a good chance of happening.
Nishinoya turned to him, eyes as intense as if he were on the battlefield. "You're not going to run away, are you?"
And Asahi couldn't find fault in him for thinking that he might. He had done it before, leaving in the middle of the night without a word. It had taken him a whole month to come back, to find a reason to keep serving as a knight. But...
"I couldn't protect Suga." Ace started whinnying anxiously and he put a hand on her, calming her down. "He might not be able to walk for weeks because of me."
"It's not your fault, Asahi." He looked away, because even if Nishinoya said that, he knew that it was his fault. Hinata and Kageyama had been dealing with the archers, so he was the one who was supposed to have Suga's back.
And he didn't. A slash in the leg had Suga falling to the ground with a cry. He could barely limp back to his horse and there was so much blood. He was still in the infirmary and it had already been days.
"Hey. Hey. Asahi, look at me." He dragged his gaze from the wall, biting his lip. Nishinoya was staring at him, serious expression on his face. His eyes softened once their eyes met. "It's not your fault, Asahi. No one blames you, Suga doesn't blame you."
That might hurt more. Of course wonderful, supportive Suga didn't blame him, even though he should.
Nishinoya came closer, touching Asahi's face lightly. "You can't keep avoiding him, y'know? He's been asking for you."
"I can't," he choked out, feeling his throat closing up. "I was right there, I could've done something, I could've -- !"
"You could've gotten the both of you hurt, too." Nishinoya interjected. "There are so many possibilities, Asahi. You can't dwell on what's happened. You weren't able to help Suga, so what?"
"But -- ."
"You learn from your mistakes, you do your best to make sure it doesn't happen again -- that is all you can do." Nishinoya put his hands on his hips, staring him down despite his short stature. "Understand?"
"I..." He couldn't help the guilt eating away at him, the lingering fear that had taken hold of him when he wasn't sure he'd be able to get to Suga in time to shield him from any more blows.
But Nishinoya was right. There was nothing he could do to change what happened. He wasn't helping anything by avoiding Suga, avoiding what happened. "I understand."
"Good." Nishinoya sighed and reached up, placing both hands on the sides of Asahi's face. He was forced to lean forward, face close to Nishinoya's. "You haven't been sleeping, have you?"
He winced. He didn't think the bags under his eyes were that noticeable. Nishinoya clicked his tongue. "Alright, we're going to go see Suga, and then you're going to get some sleep."
"Okay." He knew he had to see him sooner or later. It was a relief that Nishinoya would go with him, because he wasn't sure if he could bring himself to see Suga if he was on his own.
"Now come here." Nishinoya pulled him into his arms and Asahi wrapped his own around Nishinoya's waist. He bowed his head, exhaling shakily. Nishinoya murmured, "It's not your fault, big guy. I promise."
He nodded jerkily, holding Nishinoya tighter. After a long moment, they parted, Nishinoya linking their hands together.
They both jumped at the loud sigh Ace let out. Asahi reached to pet her, smiling softly.
"Thanks for looking after him, girl," Nishinoya said. "God knows he'd be able to take care of himself."
"Hey," Asahi said, nudging him in the shoulder. Nishinoya laughed, tugging on his hand.
"Ready?"
He patted Ace before nodding. "Ready."