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Mickey threw his phone on the nightstand and buried his face in his hands. He breathed in and out, but he didn't feel like he was getting enough oxygen. This couldn't be happening and it had been happening for three days now. It all started when they had gotten a call in the middle of the afternoon. It was a Sunday. He, Ian and Tasha were about to go see a movie after brunch. They did that now. Since Mickey finally moving in with Ian, they did brunch and movies and dinners, date nights when Ian really begged. It had been smooth enough once they stopped growling at each other on move-in day, but Mickey was happy. Ian was definitely happy. Tasha liked her new room, especially after Ian let her paint it. They had made that a whole thing too, and Mickey didn't complain once the whole day. It was fun. Sometimes when he looked up at Ian sitting across from him at their table, he felt stupid for waiting so long. It was a bonus when they found out how much they could charge to just rent out the old house after fixing it up. It definitely brought in solid income. Mickey felt good knowing that Tasha could go to college like her brother, if she wanted that. He would give her whatever she wanted. He loved her so much. And Yevgeny. He couldn't even fathom if either one of them had suddenly ceased to exist.
It had been Mandy's fiance, Tray, on the phone. He told him they were at the hospital, but his voice sounded off. His sister was fine. His nephew wasn't fine. He wasn't anything now. Fucking four months. Only four and now...
Tears burned his eyes. He wanted to scream. He remembered immediately leaving Tasha with Ian to go to the hospital. He didn't want her there just yet. He thought if he could shield her from it, somehow it would make her more solid. More permanent. It was silly. He trusted Ian to say something she could understand when the time came. She's only nine. Ian had always been better at that sort of thing, and he loved seeing Tasha trust him more and more. She wouldn't remember when he wasn't around her first year. They had really grown together since, though. He was so grateful for Ian. Especially now. As if on cue, Ian slid a hand up his back and rubbed circles there. He rest his chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear.
"Hey, hey...it's okay. It's gonna be okay," Ian said softly, pressing kisses to the side of Mickey's face. He pulled him until he collapsed into his arms. He didn't break down, just cried silently for his sister and the baby that was supposed to be hers. "Shh...shh."
"She kept saying it was her fault....I kept...I kept saying it wasn't. How...what-- I don't," Mickey trailed off, giving up.
"She's strong. She'll get through this. We'll all get through this," Ian reminded him, squeezing him tighter.
"Daddy?" Tasha pushed their bedroom door open, worry on her face when she saw Mickey.
Mickey immediately looked up and wiped away his tears. "Yeah, baby, c'mere."
She climbed onto the bed and Ian moved so she was settled between them on the bed. He pulled the covers up over them and snuggled closer.
"Is Aunt Mandy gonna be okay?" She asked.
Mickey didn't know how to answer. He looked at Ian, who reached over her and took his hand.
"Mandy is going to be really sad for a while, Tashy, but we're all going to help her feel better."
Mickey breathed easily. He loved Ian.
"I wish Yevy was here." Tasha turned and tucked her face into Ian's chest.
"Me too, baby." Mickey needed to have both his kids in his arms. It was selfish or whatever, but they were his whole life. He told him on the phone, but he needed to see him. Maybe Mandy needed to see him too.
Ian kissed the top of Tasha's head.