Archive of Our Own

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act i. first kanaphan

First is in the building when he overhears some of the managers talking about the upcoming lookahead and projects to be announced.

He and Khao have a project coming up in the second part with Joong and Dunk about hitman brothers who fall in love with civilians; P’Jo has an amazing idea, and First’s been wanting to work with him for ages.

It’s who the managers are talking about that gives him pause.

“Yeah, so Joss will finish his scenes tomorrow, and we can pull it together by the evening, I think,” someone says.

First is sipping his iced Americano when he stops in the middle of the corridor.

Say what now?

“Mmm, Gawin’s filmed his scenes with Joss today, hasn’t he? He’s got the Be My Favourite schedule tomorrow, so he can’t do any more.”

First blinks.

Gawin? His Gawin?

Correction -- Gawin hasn’t been his anything for years. Khao will definitely sense a disturbance in the force and kill him, but in what universe are Joss and Gawin on a project together? Surely it’s a lakorn. Gawin only tends to work on BL, though...

P’Jack appears and interrupts First’s ruminations, holding his tablet and tapping away at it, shaking his head. He stops short of running into First.

“P’First, hello. How are you?” he asks, the frown lines smoothing away.

“I’m good, Por. How are you?” First asks, smiling back.

“Just trying to get all these pilots finalised for the lookahead. Always the most stressful part of my year,” he sighs loudly.

“I don’t doubt that… especially with you running around after JoongDunk and Tay and New,” he grins. P’Jack groans.

As they turn the corner into the main office space, First catches sight of them before P’Jack does.

Gawin’s standing near one of the desks, half-turned toward someone speaking to him-- smiling, easy, like always.

Joss is beside him. Not saying anything, just… there. A little too close for coworkers, but not close enough to comment on.

Gawin shifts slightly, stepping back to make space as someone passes. Joss adjusts with him, maintaining the same distance, the same angle. Gawin doesn’t look surprised.

First’s gaze lingers for half a second too long. “Huh,” he murmurs.

“What?” P’Jack asks, not looking up from his tablet.

First looks away. “Hey, let’s gossip a little,” he continues, like he didn’t just see anything at all. “I heard one of the staff say something about Joss and Gawin in a project together? What’s that about?”

P’Jack clucks his tongue and looks sly. “Crazy, right? That Tha finally wore Joss down. They’ve been trying to get him to do BL for years. A big, strong man like that? The viewers will go insane. Apparently, he only agreed to it because of Gawin.”

First blinks. “What?”

“Mm. He told Tha that he’d do it if Gawin acted with him. Tha asked Gawin to audition, he said yes, and was over an hour late when he finally turned up. Joss looked as though he was going to have a stroke, but he made everyone stay and wait for Gawin. When they read for it, it was like… everyone was suffocating with their chemistry.”

First can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Joss,” he repeats slowly, like he’s trying to make sure they’re talking about the same person. “Joss Way-Ar? The one who can bench press a car and hasn’t smiled since 2020?”

P’Jack snorts. “That’s the one.”

“And he--what-- just sat there? Waiting?” First presses, brows pulled together. “For Gawin?”

“Mm.” P’Jack nods, clearly enjoying this. “Not just waiting. Pacing. Checking his phone every five seconds. He nearly bit someone’s head off when they suggested rescheduling.” P’Jack takes another step before realising, turning back with a grin. “Come on,” he says, amused. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

First stares at him. “No, I--” He gestures vaguely, words failing him for a second. “I’ve worked with Gawin. He’s…” he exhales, softer now, instinctively protective, “He’s gentle. Easy. He doesn’t make people react like that.”

P’Jack raises a brow. “Exactly.”

First’s mouth opens, then closes again. Because that’s the thing: Joss doesn’t wait. Joss doesn’t bend. Joss doesn’t orbit around anyone. It’s the opposite -- his aura is oppressive, making everyone nervous. It’s a far cry from the energetic and brash kid First vaguely remembers joining all those years ago. He wonders what happened to turn Joss from that into… this.

And Gawin… Gawin, who speaks quietly, who smiles like he’s offering you something, but gives so little of himself, who stood beside First for months during Not Me with softness that was wrapped around a steadfastness that surprised him… despite it all, First always thought of Gawin as someone the world moved around, not someone who pulled it in.

“No,” First says finally, shaking his head. “No. This is insane. They’re insane together.”

P’Jack just shrugs, slipping his hands into his pockets. “That’s what I said.”

First huffs, running a hand through his hair, still trying to rearrange this in his head. “Are you sure it’s not just, like… casting chemistry? You know how P’Tha gets. He sees two people breathe in the same space, and suddenly it’s destiny.”

P’Jack hums, considering. “Maybe.” He leans in a little closer, voice dropping. “But I’ve seen Joss in a lot of rooms over the years. He’s never looked like that.”

First stills. “Like what?” he asks.

P’Jack’s smile turns knowing, but not unkind. “Like he’d already decided -- and finally had the chance to do something about it now.”

Silence stretches between them. “That’s not normal,” First says, a little disturbed by the idea of Joss being that intense for Gawin to be there.

P’Jack laughs. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Does Gawin know?” he asks.

P’Jack glances at him. “Know what?”

First hesitates, mostly because he doesn’t have the words for it yet. “That Joss is like that,” he says finally.

P’Jack shrugs. “He will.”

First’s jaw tightens, because he’s not sure how reassuring that is. “He’s going to be a problem,” he says.

P’Jack exhales through his nose, but when he looks at First, there’s something steadier there now. More deliberate. “Hey,” he says, patting First’s elbow. “Be nice.”

First glances at him, caught off guard.

P’Jack tilts his head back toward the room, where Joss still stands just a step behind Gawin, close enough to follow, far enough not to crowd. “I’ve known Joss a long time,” he says. “He’s intense… and a bit strange. Doesn’t do things the easy way. But he’s not careless.”

First frowns, instinctively pushing back. “I didn’t say he was--”

“I know,” P’Jack cuts in gently. Not sharp. Just certain. “But that’s what you’re worried about.”

First goes quiet. Because… yeah. Maybe it is.

P’Jack’s expression softens a fraction. “And Gawin,” he continues, “he’s not as fragile as you think he is either.”

P’Jack watches him take it in. “They’re both grown,” he continues. “They know what they’re doing. And if Joss waited?” he adds, weight under it. “Then it mattered. Enough for him to use that intimidating aura to keep everyone exactly where they needed to be to give Gawin time to meet him there.”

First swallows. Because that… that reframes everything. Not obsession, or impulse, but choice.

He exhales, some of the tightness in his chest loosening, though not completely gone. “Still,” he mutters, more to himself than anything.

P’Jack smiles, just a little. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Still.”

They stand there a moment longer, their gaze turning from each other to the two, further in the room.

This time, when Gawin shifts closer to show him something on his phone, First notices something he hadn’t before. Joss doesn’t pull him in, and doesn’t close the space. He just… stays, and lets Gawin come to him. And he does -- on his own, moving into Joss’s orbit, their shoulders touching, Gawin patting his chest and laughing about something, like he knows exactly how Joss will react.

First’s expression softens, just slightly. “Okay,” he says.

P’Jack hums, satisfied.

Later, at the lookahead, he and Khao watch as My Golden Blood is announced, and they prepare to walk out together. Joss’s hand comes to Gawin’s shoulder, squeezing, before Gawin reaches to circle his fingers loosely around Joss’s wrist.

First looks at Khao, who smiles softly, leaning into his side. Joss’s hand is shaking, and Gawin doesn’t let go, not until they’re walking out to applause.

act ii. jan ployshompoo

Jan yawns, sitting in the chairs, waiting for Tay and New to finish their scene so she can film hers. Her stomach is rumbling, the food support is so close yet so far, and she looks down at her pages, making sure she’s memorised everything, and is in the headspace of Pai, ready once they’re done flubbing their lines for the tenth time.

“Ah, Tay, cut! You can’t laugh!” P’X calls, as Tay dissolves into laughter at some stupid face New has pulled. Jan rolls her eyes.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a figure cut through the staff milling around. Joss Way-Ar strides towards where the filming is, looking down at his phone. He’s dressed in a fitted white t-shirt and jeans, a bag over his shoulder, and sunglasses firmly pressed on his face, despite it being dark in here. Typical.

“Ne, if it isn’t P’Joss,” she teases as he gets close enough.

He blinks, looking up, searching until he finds her. A smile appears, but no dimple. “Jan, hi,” he says, voice deep and purposeful, coming to stand next to her. She looks up at him.

“Why are you here? Get lost on the way to the gym?”

Joss huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “No. I’m meeting P’Ako for lunch with Gawin.” He looks back down at his phone.

Jan watches him type. Delete. Type again. His thumb hovers over send, like it matters more than it should.

“Well, that’s new,” she says, bemused.

Joss glances up. “What is?”

“You,” she replies. “Thinking before you speak.”

He frowns. “I always think before I speak.”

Jan tilts her head. “Not like that.”

A pause. Joss looks back at his phone. “He doesn’t respond well when I push,” he says. As though he’s learned that from somewhere along the way.

Jan’s expression softens. “And you listen?”

Another pause. “I’m trying to. We’re going to be together for a while, I hope. I want him to be comfortable with me.”

Jan hums. She remembers the young, exuberant kid leading Nabi My Stepdarling, and how he’d drastically changed by the time they filmed Loneliness Society, turning into a serious, brooding young man with an aura to suffocate.

Polite and punctual, Joss never really made the effort to integrate with the others -- no birthday posts, and didn’t really spend time with the other actors socially, bar Gun and Luke… so this? This is different.

“I see,” she finally says, Joss looking back down at his phone, tapping away again. He sighs, finally committing to whatever he’s going to say, before swiping his phone shut and putting it in his pocket.

He looks at her, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. She smiles.

“It’s been a while. How have you been?” she asks.

They hadn’t done too much press for Loneliness Society-- the company was very focused on growing their BL offering and their pairing, so the generalist series didn’t get anywhere near as much attention. It was a good project, Joss bearing the burden on his large shoulders of leading the show, the rest of them flittering nervously around him.

“Good. Just waiting for MGB to start pre-production,” he says.

“When’s that?” she asks.

Joss shrugs, frustration flickering across his face for a beat, before he smothers it. “Not sure. P’Tha says they’ve got us in the back end of this year, and to be patient. I know they’re going to announce even more projects soon at the Part 2 lookahead.”

“That’s a long time to be without a series,” she agrees.

“We’re getting couple work together, so it’s not all bad. Spending this year building our chemistry,” Joss continues. “I’m playing basketball again. First time in years.”

Jan laughs. “That’s good. How come?”

“Gawin likes it. I used to play in high school and university, got a scholarship for it. Stopped when I got focused on boxing and working out, I guess. It’s been nice coming back to it.” He smiles, looking a little dreamy, his dimple flashing.

“You’ve gone somewhere nice,” she jokes. He doesn’t even deny it.

After a beat or two, he fishes in his pockets for his phone, his smile widening as he reads it. “He said he’s done with his meeting and is coming now,” Joss says, glancing back towards where he’d come from.

Jan hasn’t ever seen Joss act like this. Across two series, years apart, he’s always been solitary, engaging and polite, but very carefully compartmentalised.

They chat for a while, Joss filling her in on what he’s been up to, and Jan talking about the various places she’s travelled to, Joss eager to do some more travel this year.

He shifts where he’s standing, so his body is angled more openly, and his hands are behind him, held loose, shoulders wide.

When Gawin finally arrives, Jan only realises because of Joss’s reaction.

She remembers Gawin-- a quiet, unassuming kid, pretty, buried in his guitar and a golden voice, and one that doesn’t ever really command much attention unless he’s on the stage.

But Joss? Joss’s eyes slide over her shoulder and lock in. She turns to see where he’s looking, and Gawin comes over, waving.

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” he says, barely able to be heard over the din of Tay yelling at New on set, mad about something, P’X hovering between them.

“It’s okay. You’re right on time,” Joss says, his tone bending, sweeter than she’s ever heard.

“G, this is P’Jan. She’s acted with me in a few projects,” Joss says.

Gawin gives her a wai, his long eyelashes sweeping against his cheeks as he inclines his head. “Hi, phi. I remember you from Nabi.”

She smiles. “Hi, Gawin. I’ve heard a lot about you from Joss. You sang so well for our OST,” she says. Gawin shakes his head and laughs, cheeks pink.

“Thank you. I hope what Joss was saying was all good,” he says, looking at Joss, who hasn’t stopped smiling.

“Always,” Joss says softly.

Jan wants to melt a little in her chair, watching these two, especially how Joss is reacting.

“You ready to eat with P’Ako?” Joss asks, and Gawin inclines his head. He steps closer -- initiating, neither hesitant nor unsure, and Jan bites her lip.

“Yep. Where is she?”

Joss points somewhere else, off to the side, and Gawin peers to look, while Joss’s gaze stays on him.

“Phi, it was nice catching up. We gotta go now,” Joss says, and Gawin gives her another wai, as Joss guides them away, and toward their other plans.

“Bye, boys, have a good lunch,” she calls after them, waving.

She sits with that moment for a while once they leave. How intentional Joss had been in his actions with Gawin.

“Who would’ve thought that Joss Way-Ar would ever be that soft with another person?” she says to herself.

Tay chooses that moment to appear, annoyance on his face. “Was that Joss?” he asks.

“Mm, and Gawin, his new partner.”

Tay almost chokes. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah. It was interesting, Tay. He’s changed. Joss is different. Having someone to care for now, and to dull the sledgehammer of his vibe… he spent the majority of our time talking about Gawin.”

Tay leans on the chair, peering at where they’re talking to P’Ako in the corner, waiting for her to get her bag.

“Yeah, right,” Tay says. “Joss will do one BL to satisfy P’Tha, and then they’ll move on to other things. Gawin doesn’t stick with a pair, either. This is a one-and-done situation.”

“Doesn’t feel very one-and-done,” Jan disagrees. “Doesn’t feel very casual, either.”

Tay waggles his finger at Jan. “I bet you 5000 baht they’re done after their series finishes. I know Joss.”

“So do I. And he’s changed. I’ll take that bet, Tay Tawan.”

They shake on it, and Jan smirks. She’ll put that money to good use. No chance in hell Joss is giving Gawin up, not based on what she just saw.

act iii. neo trai

Neo comes to set for Q5, his first scenes to film, Joss and Gawin already having done the heavy lifting on the first four. Yawning, scratching his stomach, he saunters onto the school grounds to begin filming in the dorm rooms.

He finds Joss in the make-up area, while Gawin is in the changing tent, his head poking out the top as he gets into the sleepwear they’ll be starting in.

“Morning, P’Joss,” Neo says, in English, because both of them fucking insist on speaking it all the goddamn time. It gives him a headache. He doesn’t usually bother with phi for seniors; everyone is so casual with each other at the company, but they’re surrounded by staff, and he doesn’t know Joss that well yet, so he decides to be polite.

“Morning, nong,” Joss rumbles, not looking up from his book, engrossed in whatever he’s reading, while P’Moobank finishes patting powder on his forehead. Neo can’t tell if it’s more self-help or if he’s moved back to JJK today.

He hasn’t ever worked on a project with Joss before, but he has known him enough over the years. Impossibly tall and built, with a quite frankly suffocating aura, Joss isn’t really Neo’s kind of guy. But, he’s started playing ball again in recent years, and they’ve ended up on a few teams together, and Joss seems like the kind of guy you want on the court when there’s ten seconds left before the buzzer, and you’ve got a crazy, desperate play to make to win.

“Got a pick up game tonight after filming, you in?” Neo asks, flopping down in the chair and smiling up at P’Moobank, who rolls his eyes and slaps some face masks on Neo’s cheeks.

Joss looks up, his sleepy eyes blinking slowly, considering Neo’s invite. He opens his mouth, and then Gawin ducks out from the dressing tent, wandering over.

“Neo,” he says, nodding, and Neo wriggles his fingers at Gawin in a wave, making Gawin laugh, shaking his head.

“Neo wants us to play ball after work,” Joss says, looking up at Gawin.

Neo raises an eyebrow. He never said anything about Gawin coming. Besides, Gawin’s antisocial as fuck and won’t--

“Sure. Wanna do dinner after?” Gawin says, a hand coming to rest on Joss’s shoulder.

Neo watches the exchange, dumbstruck. What the fuck is this?

“Mmm. Can we go to Ember & Ox? I wanna try their grain-fed this time,” Joss says. Neo knows enough English to follow generally what they’re saying, but his head hurts already.

“Sure,” Gawin agrees, squeezing his shoulder.

Neo’s mouth drops open a little, and then both of them turn to look at him. “We’ll come. Text us where to go,” Gawin says.

“O-okay,” Neo says, nodding, and Gawin walks off. Joss gets out of the chair and follows him, leaving Neo alone, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Shook, he’s quiet while P’Moobank works on him, fumbling through his costume change and following the staff to the room they’ve rented for their dorm scenes.

“You good?” Gawin asks, iPad in hand with his pages, while Neo paces back and forth, trying to get into the head of Tonkla, the happy-natured orphan ‘brother’ of Tong.

“Yeah,” he says, pushing everything else out of his head so he can focus.

Filming is good, and brutal. P’Ark has a sharp eye and a caring hand, guiding them through a very low-budget series, the company rolling the dice on an established yet somewhat unrenowned lakorn lead in Joss, and Gawin, the perennial support and hyper-talented ‘King of OST’ that has refused to play the game to the detriment of growing his career.

Neo sits and watches as Joss appears, coming to film a scene with the three of them, some confrontation moment, and all Neo can do is let his eyes follow as Joss comes to stand with Gawin and P’Ark, heads bowed as they listen to his direction.

Gawin nods along, speaking for both of them, while Joss zones out, fingers tapping against his leg, letting Gawin guide the conversation.

“Got it,” Joss murmurs, loudly enough that Neo can hear, and P’Ark leaves. Joss moves closer to Gawin, who doesn’t step back. If anything, he pivots a little so his body curves around Joss’s, like a flower leaning towards the sun.

“Okay?” Joss asks. Gawin huffs something out, shaking his head, and Joss’s mouth purses.

“I know,” he says, voice low, and Gawin says something else, too quiet, and Joss reaches to rub a hand up and down his arm, quick enough you’d miss it if you blinked, but enough.

“What the hell,” Neo mutters.

Later, when he’s shoving his shit in his boot, trying to decide if he’s going to be late to the game or not, Gawin appears, guitar slung over his shoulder, humming something. He’s parked a few spots away from Neo, as he stops by his car, smiling cheerily, Joss following up the rear, typing something on his phone.

“Excited for some ball?” he says. Neo shrugs.

“Mm, yeah. Big day on set, need to work out some fucking energy,” he sighs, massaging his shoulder. Joss comes to a stop next to Gawin, still staring at his phone.

“You did good, we got a lot done,” Gawin says with a nod.

“Yeah. You and Joss are fucking machines,” Neo says.

Joss looks up at that, and… blushes? He smiles, wider than Neo’s seen in a long time, and looks at Gawin.

“Gawin’s the machine. I’m just trying to keep up,” Joss says, without a hint of irony. Gawin rolls his eyes, but his cheeks are red too, and he huffs out a laugh. He doesn’t argue the point, just lets it land.

“Alright, alright,” he says, waving at Neo and heading to his car.

Neo glances at Joss. “You two are very different from how you were filming the pilot,” he says.

Joss shrugs. “We’ve had a long time to become close. It’s been like… fifteen months?”

“That’s insane,” Neo says. Joss tucks his hands in his pockets.

“I’ve spent all that time coaxing him out of his cave.”

“That’s a lot of effort for something you’re going to walk away from,” Neo says bluntly.

Memories of Louis float to the forefront of his mind -- the way his heart still aches a little, with regret, and with missing. How the question still lingers, years later.

“Who says I’m walking away?” Joss says. He crosses his arms, and Neo feels the oppressive nature of his aura.

“You’re a lakorn actor. Why would you stay in this?” Neo waves a hand around. “In a project with zero budget and a shitty script, fighting against fifty other koojin for the same jobs and attention.”

“Gawin’s worth it. I decided I was going to do this, and we’re both all in.”

Neo raises an eyebrow. “You make it sound like a business deal. Your heart is going to get tangled up in this. Trust me, it fucking sucks. Especially when it blows up.” He swallows around the hurt, the whispers of Louis calling him late one night, of telling him-- “It’s not worth it.”

“It is worth it. We’re in this together for the long run.”

Neo sighs, shaking his head. “If you say so, phi. Gawin’s pretty fucking cool. I’d probably risk it all on black for him as well.”

Joss’s gaze moves over Neo’s shoulder to his car, and he watches the second Joss makes eye contact with Gawin, and how that oppressive blanket just lifts, as he smiles, his shoulders sagging, eyes crinkling.

“See you at the court, nong,” Joss says, distracted, walking around Neo. He turns to see Joss get in Gawin’s car, slinging his bag in the back, laughing at something Gawin says.

The door shuts, and Gawin pulls away, and he can see Joss’s arms pinwheeling as he tells Gawin some story, Gawin laughing crazily.

“Somehow, wishing you good luck doesn’t feel necessary,” Neo says, shaking his head, as he gets into his own car, rubbing his chest. Thinking of Louis is pointless. Their story is going to end very differently from his did, it seems.

act iv. tay tawan

“So, where’s my money?”

Tay’s on set for Break Up Service, and he looks up from where he’s hunched over his script to see Jan, looking smug as hell.

“What?” he asks, confused.

She crosses her arms. “My money. Our little bet we made during the filming of Cherry Magic?”

Tay thinks for a moment, frowning. He talked a lot of shit when he was filming that series, as he does in every series. It’s hard to keep track. Hin has a list, somewhere.

“You’re gonna have to remind me. What did we bet on?”

She rolls her eyes and points at Joss, currently standing by Force at the food tables, sipping on a coffee and laughing about something.

“Joss? We bet on--oh.” Tay stops mid-sentence, as it comes rushing back. How he’d bet a stupid amount of money that Joss and Gawin would disband after their series promotion was done.

Instead, shocking the majority of the building, they’d gotten a role in Only Friends: Dream On, cast in that before their original series had even started filming. Now MGB has come out, they seem to be showing no sign of being unhappy with each other-- if anything, it’s vastly the opposite.

“Fuck. Yes, okay, I remember.” He opens his phone, and she holds up her QR, and he sends her the money.

They watch as Joss answers a call, smiling, and turns to look somewhere, before waving. Gawin appears, jogging over, laughing as he gets closer, and Force makes a big show of him arriving.

Joss puts an arm around Gawin, hugging him, and Gawin goes easily into Joss’s body, even hugging Force as well, before coming to stand back by Joss’s side, their shoulders touching.

“Have you eaten yet?” they hear Joss ask. Gawin shakes his head.

“Let’s go eat, then. I’m hungry,” Joss says. Force says something, too low to be heard, and Gawin laughs, Joss grinning along with them.

He reaches into his backpack while they’re talking and gets a water bottle out, sipping at it, before handing it wordlessly to Gawin, who takes a sip and hands it back. Tay’s jaw drops.

“Wow,” he says. Jan leans further on his chair, her perfume wafting over him pleasantly.

There’s a burst of noise from set, as something falls over, and then some staff start arguing, and Joss casually moves from one side of Gawin to the other, almost shielding him from the noise. If Tay weren’t sitting down, he’d fall over.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Mmm,” Jan hums, watching them like it’s her new favourite show.

There’s no audience, no performance to be made-- just them talking to Force, and yet here Joss is, taking care of Gawin. As if it’s a habit ingrained in him, as opposed to a requirement.

He files it away and returns to memorising his lines, forgetting about the developments until a few weeks later, when Gawin turns up to set, one of the guest stars for the series, playing Bee. Pod and Namtan are also on set that day, and it’s nice to see them playing with each other, Pod slinging an arm around Gawin, shaking him.

Gawin’s a sweet man, and Tay has a lot of time for him, enjoying his odd sense of humour and weirdness in that typical GMMTV way.

New wanders over a few minutes later, holding two coffees and a bag of something between his teeth, holding a drink out to Tay.

“Why are you here, Hin?” Tay asks, once New’s handed it over and settled on the chairs next to him, opening the bag to reveal several breakfast sandwiches.

“Can’t I just come see you?” New whines, and Tay rolls his eyes.

“Of course you can,” he soothes, rubbing New’s back and taking half of the sandwich.

“Gawin’s here,” New says, indicating his head over at him and Pod, watching Namtan do some TikTok dance she’s trying to convince them both to do as well.

“Mmm, he’s filming this episode with Pod and Namtan. Good to see him still here after all these years,” he says.

New hums in agreement, chewing on his sandwich. They get through most of their breakfast when there’s a loud burst of noise, and they both look over their shoulders, eyes widening.

Joss has appeared, holding a guitar case, sunglasses firmly on his face, and dressed like he’s just come from a board meeting, in tight, well-tailored cream suit pants and a white pressed shirt with sleeves rolled up, clinging to every curve and dip of his body.

The noise was due to Namtan and Pod catcalling and making a fuss, while Gawin takes the guitar case, smiling and nodding. Joss just reaches in for a hug and Gawin… goes, willingly. Again. Like it’s something they’ve done a hundred times.

“...the fuck?” New asks thickly, around a mouthful, eyes wide, watching the exchange.

“Ah, you haven’t seen the new and improved Joss yet, have you?” Tay says. New looks at him, cheeks full and round from his food. He looks so cute, Tay can’t help but thumb at the softness of it.

“New and improved?” he asks. Tay nods.

“Yeah. He’s very attentive now. All that intensity is focused on our little caveman. I don’t know how the fuck he does it.”

They watch as Joss stands there, arms crossed, talking easily to Namtan as Gawin pulls the guitar out, sitting on one of the actor chairs, tuning it, not a hair out of place as he goes. He seems open and relaxed, gaze focused on Gawin but occasionally glancing at Namtan, and she’s smiling, yapping away about something.

That is, until Pod leans over, and Gawin laughs, his head ducking away, and New misses his mouth twice, watching Joss’s jaw clench, and his arms tighten. He says something, and Gawin looks up at him, the tension gone and replaced with a smile, as if he knows exactly how to fix it. Pod moves back, tucking his hands into his pockets. Namtan stares, looking between the two, and then at Pod, an eyebrow raised.

“What in the… is he…” New whispers, unable to stop. Tay grabs his sandwich and pushes it into New’s mouth, wiping at the crumbs and sucking on his finger as he goes back to his own.

Pod tries to talk to Joss a couple of times, and Joss answers him, but it’s clear he’s got zero interest in any kind of conversation, and he and Namtan leave not long after.

Gawin says something to Joss, too quiet to be heard, and Joss’s arms drop, and he sits down next to Gawin, barely any space between them, the smile on his face blinding. Gawin starts laughing at whatever he says, head thrown back, clear joy radiating off him, and Joss looks utterly struck.

Gawin pats his knee, squeezing it, saying something low and reassuring, and Joss sighs, looking a little embarrassed. But he doesn’t move, and Gawin shuffles a little closer and returns to playing his guitar, while Joss watches him, looking smitten.

“Wow,” New whispers. “I get it. I really fucking get it.”

“Mm. He’s definitely in deep with Gawin. Doubt he’s told him yet.”

“No way. Gawin would laugh in his face,” New says, finally looking at Tay. “How’s he act around First, and Krist? The same?”

Tay shrugs. “This is only my second time seeing… all of that. I don’t know.”

“It’s nice,” New says.

Tay considers it for a moment. He’s worked with Joss across multiple projects, was actually looking forward to it again on Replay, stupid fucking cursed series, and to see this complete 180 to someone habitually ingrained into someone like that… the softening and the care, it’s sweet.

act v. mix sahaphap and boom thanatorn 

Mix and Boom are sitting at lunch, Gawin ten minutes late, as they begin to serve themselves, dishes spread out across the table, cobbled together from whatever food support they’ve been sent. Mostly Earth and Mix’s, since Aou and Boom and Joss and Gawin’s fan clubs aren’t as established yet.

“Where is he?” Boom whines, and Mix shrugs.

“He had some scenes with Joss; they’ve probably run over.”

Boom fusses, spooning some shrimp onto his plate, drizzling sauce over the rice to give it flavour. “What do you think of them?” he whispers, leaning in, a cheeky glint in his eye.

Mix clucks his tongue. “Gossipy bitch,” he murmurs, and Boom pokes his tongue out the corner of his mouth.

“C’mon… I know you want to…” he trails off.

Mix sighs heavily. “It’s insane how good they look together, and how well they work together, despite being opposites,” he begins.

Boom leans in further. “Joss is… something else. Gawin just seems to be so in tune with him.”

Mix points at him with his spoon, “I know. Yesterday, they were sitting right next to each other, pretty much touching, Gawin writing something on his guitar, Joss reading. It was so sweet, my teeth were rotting.”

“I haven’t ever seen Gawin being this dependent on anyone. Joss brings him coffee almost every day they’re together. And Joss is so attentive to him,” Boom sighs. “Always making sure he’s comfortable, that he’s happy… I don’t know if I could deal with that.”

“Aou does that to you, idiot,” Mix drawls. Boom blushes.

“It’s different. Aou and I have been together for years, this is our like… third or fourth series together. This is their second, and Joss is already like this?”

“He’s never been like this before,” Mix says.

“What does Earth say? He would’ve seen them both when they started at the company,” Boom asks.

Mix shrugs. They’ve talked about their castmates a little, but nothing of substance. Earth’s attention of other actors is pathetic-- he couldn’t remember who Joong and Dunk were for months, despite them having FeelFanFun concert together, the ridiculous old man.

Boom opens his mouth, but Mix’s eyes slide over his shoulder and widen.

“Joss, hi,” he says, and Boom’s mouth slams shut.

“H-hi,” he says. Joss comes to stand next to their table.

“Gawin’s running behind, sorry. He shouldn’t be too much longer,” Joss says, his voice low and steady, like a metronome.

Mix nods slowly. The stillness and seriousness of Joss’s vibe is a little off-putting, in a way, he isn’t sure if he can make jokes about. Aou has the biggest balls out of any of them, regularly making Joss do cute cat memes and other viral trend shit, in an attempt to humanise him to the fans. Mix isn’t sure he’ll ever have the guts.

“Oh. Thanks for letting us know,” Mix says, nodding.

Joss stands there for another beat, looking like he wants to say something.

“Is… is everything okay?” Mix asks slowly. Joss bites his lip.

“Mm… I want to take G out for dinner on the weekend, but I’m… not really sure where to go this time. I was hoping Boom or you might have some suggestions, if he’s mentioned anything in passing.”

Mix looks at Boom, who tilts his head. “Take him out for dinner? Why?”

Joss frowns. “It’s his birthday.”

“Oh. Um… you want to take him out for dinner?” Boom asks gently.

Joss hums. His vibe is changing, becoming… more open, and there’s a smile on his face, his shoulders relaxing. “Yeah. I’ll go see him for his fan club thing, and he said that night we can go out for dinner.”

“That’s… really nice, phi,” Boom says, and Joss smiles wider… so widely his eyes crinkle up and his dimple flashes.

“I want him to enjoy it. I want it to be special.”

Mix feels his own cheeks blush as Joss does his equivalent of gushing. He’s never heard Joss this enthusiastic about anything… ever. He tries to frantically remember if Gawin’s mentioned wanting to go anywhere.

“He likes Italian, obviously. When I told him Earth and I went to Franca, in Sukhumvit, he said it sounded exciting.”

The restaurant itself was small and cosy, with excellent service, and a great date night spot. Something in Mix thinks this is exactly the kind of place Joss wants to take Gawin.

“The carbonara is fantastic, and we got the lemon brulee, they serve it in the actual lemon,” Mix continues.

“Franca,” Joss repeats. 

“Very intimate and small. I think you’ll both enjoy it,” he says.

Boom kicks Mix, and Mix smiles through the pain, his eyes watering.

“I like the sound of that. Intimate,” Joss says.

Boom coughs, covering it with his hand, and Mix nods along.

“Mmhmm, yep. You two will have a very intimate and close dinner at that place,” Mix says. He wants to choke at how dreamy Joss’s face goes.

“Awesome, thanks, Mix,” he says, patting Mix’s shoulder, before waving at Boom and wandering off.

“What the fuck was that?” Boom rasps, drinking from his water. Mix shakes his head.

“Joss is down so fucking bad for Gawin. Haven’t you seen how he looks at him? If they’re not fucking yet, it’ll happen soon. I don’t know how much longer Joss can take it.”

Boom groans. “God, they’re both so big, and Joss has so many muscles… how the hell is Gawin going to handle all of that?” he whispers.

Mix laughs. “With great dedication and energy, I’m sure.”

Boom sighs into his lunch, and they return to eating.

Gawin appears after a while, dashing over, apologising profusely. “Sorry, P’Ninew wanted me to record some extra shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Mix says, pushing a plate toward him. Gawin scoops rice and some som tum on his plate, shovelling it in his mouth with a relished groan.

“Amazing,” he says, voice muffled from his cheeks full, and Mix laughs.

“Saw your boy before,” he says slyly.

“Oh yeah?” Gawin asks. Mix blanches. He’s not even going to try to deny it? He thinks, sharing a look with Boom.

“Mmm. Was asking for some stuff. He looked like he was going to melt from joy when we started talking about you,” Mix teases.

Gawin, however, just looks… happy. “Thanks for obliging him. He gets nervous, and his resting bitch face is intense. People are scared of him. I feel bad,” Gawin says.

Mix looks at Boom, who shakes his head and continues eating. Don’t get me involved in whatever the hell this is.

“He’s a big cat, he’s fine,” Mix says, and Gawin grins, swallowing.

“He really is. Proud and prickly but warm sugar inside.”

“I… those are interesting metaphors for Joss Way-Ar,” Mix says, after a beat. “None of which I’d ever think to use.” He takes a moment and then figures, fuck it. “Are you happy being paired with him?”

Gawin is agreeing before he even finishes his sentence. “Yeah, I am. He takes good care of me. We work hard, and we holiday together… It’s nice having a pair. I kind of wish we’d done this sooner.”

As if this was always the outcome.

Mix concentrates on not shrieking. Gawin Caskey, actively stating he wanted to be in a ship with this man sooner? He’s going to faint.

“That’s… wow. Gawin Caskey, career ship dodger, now fully in with Joss Way-Ar, king of lakorns?” Mix jokes.

Gawin hums, chewing, considering the statement. “Yeah. It’s pretty different, isn’t it? Neither of us was interested, and now we’re just… totally in. Feels good.”

He falls silent, digging in, eating like he hasn’t seen food for weeks, and Mix and Boom share another look.

After, once they’ve broken to head back home, Boom follows Mix to his car. “I never thought I’d see the day Joss is so into anyone, let alone Gawin reciprocating, willingly.”

“I know. It’s kind of romantic,” Mix says.

“God, they’d be so hot together in bed. Can you imagine…” Boom sighs, shaking his head.

“Pure pornography,” Mix rumbles, and Boom laughs, shoving him.

“Joss would talk him through it, a hundred percent. English the whole time.”

Boom groans, cheeks pink. Mix grabs at his arm, shaking him. “Look.”

He points, and Boom follows his direction to see Gawin at his car, Joss next to him. They’re close, closer than you’d be for a conversation, and Gawin’s leaning against his door, car keys in hand, as Joss talks to him about something.

“Holy shit, are they…” Boom whispers, Mix’s nails digging into his arm, both of them holding their breath.

They watch as Joss smiles, a hand coming up, finger curled to nudge under Gawin’s chin. Gawin giggles, shaking his head, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t push Joss off, and Joss pulls him in for a hug, whole body pressed together, knee to cheek. Gawin allows it -- draws Joss in, meets him exactly where they are, not backing down or being afraid of it.

“Fuck. This tension,” Boom says. 

“Are they gonna kiss?” Mix asks, and Boom shrugs.

Joss stops and says something else that makes Gawin nod, looking down, before he glances back up, Joss staring at him the entire time, endeared beyond belief.

“I feel like a shipper,” Mix whispers. Boom clutches at his arm.

Joss finally pulls back and waves, Gawin waving back, watching him go, before he slides into the car.

Boom and Mix look at each other and burst into nervous giggles.

bonus act. gawin caskey

Gawin lies every time they ask. “I knew of Joss from the Outings… played a couple basketball games together… Kru Green had us in singing class together… but I didn’t really know much about him.”

The truth is, he saw the potential in Joss back when they met first met, signing at the agency together, and Gawin noticed him immediately.

Joss was tall, broad, dark, funny, with a delicious smile and a weird personality. He was goofy and kind, his heart wide open, but also intense but kind of directionless. Gawin watches as Joss rubs people the wrong way, trying too hard to be the centre of the universe that Gawin knows isn’t really the true him, while also deep in his fratbro era, chasing after girls and leading lakorns.

Gawin knows if he makes a move, he’ll be gently but thoroughly denied.

So, he makes a decision.

I’ll wait for you to become the perfect partner, Joss Way-Ar. No matter how long it takes.

It begins with him making himself available. He overhears Joss and Luke talking in English about a charity basketball game Luke is going to, and needing to get people to play with. Joss is noncommittal, as Luke wheedles him.

“C’mon, man, it’ll be so much fun. Lots of hot chicks there too,” he says, elbowing Joss, who laughs and shakes his head.

“I just broke up with Nune; I need a break.”

“What, you want some ass instead? I can totally find you a hot guy,” Luke says.

Joss splutters, but doesn’t deny the offer, and Gawin decides he needs to walk around the corner right now.

He comes into view of Luke, whose eyes slide over Joss’s shoulder, and Gawin can tell the exact moment Luke remembers who he is. All of who he is.

“Ah, Fluke!” he calls, and Gawin stops and waves, smiling as he walks over. He watches Joss watch him.

“You got plans on Friday? I’m doing this Channel 3 charity basketball thing, and we need a few more people. You wanna come play?”

Gawin smiles. “Yeah, man, I love basketball. You coming, Joss?” Gawin asks, hands in his pockets, chest open and tilted toward Joss. He knows enough about body language from acting class.

Joss nods slowly. “Y-yeah. I’ll come.”

Gawin looks at Luke, giving him a thumbs-up. “Got your 3 aside, eh?”

Luke laughs and shakes his head, and Gawin glances at Joss. He’s staring at Gawin, brow furrowed the tiniest bit, as if trying to figure him out.

This is where it starts.

The game comes around quickly, and Gawin laughs and jokes his way through warm-ups, sandwiching himself between Luke and Joss in the team photos. He made sure to shower thoroughly beforehand, and wear a cologne that is clean and not overwhelming, just enough to be memorable.

It’s a lot of fun -- their team wins, he and Joss have good synergy on the court, after Gawin goes out of his way to try to learn Joss’s play style.

“Sorry, I’m so rusty -- it’s been years since I last played,” Joss says, wiping at his sweaty face with his t-shirt, Gawin getting a flash of ripped abs and tanned skin. He swallows and hopes the flush is disguised well by his own exertion.

“You’re good, man,” Gawin says with an easy smile. “Been a while since I’ve linked up with anyone like that.”

Joss smiles, a dimple on the left cheek deepening, and Gawin’s stomach flutters. He rubs it absentmindedly. Wow.

“Uh, can I get your IG? I’m trying to play more regularly, and I can let you know if more games are coming,” Joss says.

Gawin reaches for his phone and finds Joss’s profile. It’s on the top of his search list, having returned to his page over and over, combing it for nuggets of information he may have missed.

He taps follow, and shows his page to Joss, who finds him seconds later, the request coming through.

“Until next time, then,” Gawin says, with a smile and a wave. Joss smiles back and waves, and Gawin exercises every bit of restraint not to look back as he slings his bag over his shoulder and walks to his car.

Sitting with the air conditioning blasting, cooling his sweaty, overheated skin off, he stares down at Joss’s IG page, the mutual connection making him smile.

He said yes.

Gawin doesn’t let himself celebrate just yet.

It isn’t a plan, not in the way people would think. Gawin doesn’t sit down and map anything out, doesn’t draw lines between point A and point B and call it strategy.

He just pays attention. Then he chooses.

He makes himself easy to approach. Not obvious -- he’s never obvious -- but open enough and receptive to everything Joss offers him. Shoulders relaxed, voice soft, always angled just slightly toward Joss when they’re in the same space. He knows what people see when they look at him: quiet, unassuming, safe. He lets that work for him.

Joss looks anyway.

And that’s the interesting part.

Gawin notices it before anyone else does. The way Joss’s attention snags, holds, like he’s trying to figure Gawin out, the more time they spend together. Nothing overt, nothing overwhelming, just… steady.

And he lets it happen.

That’s the second thing. He doesn’t flinch.

Joss is a lot at the start, when they’re both young and fresh and new to the company and the industry. He’s loud, and big, and too much of everything all at once, trying to take up space in a way that doesn’t quite fit him. Most people push back, or step away, or laugh it off.

Not Gawin. He stands there and takes it, easy as breathing. Doesn’t reward it, doesn’t punish it. Just… stays.

Joss notices that too.

After that, it’s small things. Like the fact that Gawin doesn’t chase. Not once. He answers when spoken to. Smiles when it’s offered. Lets conversations end naturally instead of stretching them thin. If Joss steps closer, he doesn’t move away -- but he doesn’t close the distance either.

Not yet.

He gives just enough. He maintains his caveman reputation because it is who he is.

But throughout it all, as the months pass into years, Gawin remains mindful of where this is going. He gives Joss a place to be, to exist as himself, to weather the storms of his life, as his parents divorce and Boss relocates to America, leaving Joss behind.

He sits with Joss as he cries one night, drunk and worried about what his life will become, now that his parents are moving apart, and Boss is leaving to start his own life thousands of miles away. He provides a shoulder, a warm hug, a couch, a blanket, and his time.

The next time they meet, Gawin is at the building for the table read for Dark Blue Kiss, while Joss is there for some new project with P’JoJo, he’s greeted with a slightly more introspective young man, a thread of seriousness humming underneath his aura. He hugs Gawin, and Gawin stands there, smiling into his neck, rubbing his back.

“Thank you,” Joss whispers, his nose cool against Gawin’s skin, and Gawin just pats him, nodding.

“Any time.”

He introduces Joss to his world, slowly. Glacially slow.

Not all at once -- never all at once -- but in pieces that feel manageable. A game here, a dinner there, a concert… spaces where Joss can exist without needing to perform.

Joss eventually adapts.

At first, it’s clumsy. Too much talking, too much energy, filling silence like it’s something to be afraid of. But Gawin lets it happen, and then when it gets to be too much, he pulls back. Not dramatically, and not in a way that can be called out. He just… goes quiet. Stops replying for a while. Leaves early. Lets conversations drop where they fall.

Joss notices, and the next time, he’s different. Quieter, more careful, watching instead of speaking.

Gawin stays. That’s the only reward he ever gives. It’s enough.

Warmth, attention, presence-- he lets it sit. Lets Joss come back for more.

Because he does, every single time.

Gawin watches them build as the years roll by, piece by piece, something steady and predictable underneath all that intensity.

Sometimes, it’s harder than he expects. Waiting always is.

But that’s when he understands what he’s working with. Joss doesn’t need to be pushed. He needs somewhere to go. So Gawin makes sure he’s there when he looks.

It becomes a pattern.

Joss pushes-- Gawin disappears.

Joss adjusts-- Gawin stays.

By the time they start getting couple work, agreeing to sign on to MGB together, and deciding to become koojin, despite both of them resisting it over the years, it’s already settled into something that looks a lot like instinct.

Filming shows Gawin how Joss has grown over the years, the way he sits and reads during takes, the way his aura grounds and settles around Gawin, like a warm blanket. Not oppressive, but reassuring. Present.

He knows they confuse people.

He knows they make people question what the fuck is going on.

He knows people watch them from afar, considering if they’re something more.

A sold-out fan concert that has an overwhelming amount of livestream tickets, followed closely by a whirlwind month overseas on an almost inhumanly compressed international fanmeet tour, sees Gawin deeply appreciating everything Joss has grown into. Solid, dependable, considering and quietly goofy, he feels them finally arriving at the point Gawin’s been hoping for them to get to since before Covid. Something more.

Gawin continues to reward Joss with slices of himself, culminating in the great Valentine’s Day hiking incident of 2026, Joss pleading with him to be invited, and rocking up with thousands of baht worth of brand new gear. He has 20 kilos weighing him down without a sweat, and his assistant Wave, who is one of Gawin’s friends, eager to start the trail.

Joss is ill-prepared for the hike, exhausted but exhilarated, his natural athleticism lending itself to some view of success, and Gawin is outwardly impressed.

“I thought you’d be in a heap by now,” Gawin says once night falls, and they’re eating, scooping chicken and rice from communal bowls. Joss is listing by his side, yawning huge, jaw-cracking yawns, completely spent.

“I think I’m gonna fall asleep into my dinner,” Joss mumbles.

“No sleeping yet. We’ve gotta see the stars from that big rock, remember?” Gawin says.

Joss groans, leaning heavily against Gawin. Gawin picks up his plate and starts feeding Joss, who wraps an arm around his shoulders, the smell of dirt and sweat and his deodorant like an ambrosia to Gawin at this point.

He keeps Joss there, dozing against him, until their meals are done. “Joss and I are gonna go check out the stars then turn in,” Gawin announces to his friends, stirring Joss from his nap.

Stumbling a little, he gets to his feet and tugs on Gawin’s t-shirt, following him through the foliage and climbing awkwardly up a large boulder they’d found nearby, offering an unobstructed view of the night sky.

They sit there, taking pictures, quiet in their appreciation of the beauty.

“Why did you want to come hiking, J?” Gawin asks, once Joss puts down his camera, leaning back on his hands, legs kicked out in front of him.

Joss looks over, his eyes shining in the darkness, his bare outline visible from the moon and stars.

“I wanted to share this with you. I’ve bought you along to my vacations with my friends, you’ve met my family… we’ve spent a long time building something together,” Joss says, his voice low and steady.

Gawin nods, turning to face Joss, shuffling closer. Joss blinks at him.

“You’ve taken good care of me. We work so well together, you and me,” Gawin says.

Joss inhales and sits up, sensing something’s coming. “Are you about to break up with me?” he asks.

Gawin laughs. “The fuck? Where did you get that idea from?”

Joss frowns. “My… my gut is telling me something bad is coming. You’re not being normal.”

Gawin sighs and puts a hand on Joss’s, lacing their fingers together. “No, I’m not being normal, but it’s not bad. I’m… I was going to confess to you,” Gawin says.

Joss’s jaw drops. “You… what?”

Gawin nods, his thumb swiping along the smooth expanse of Joss’s hand. “Yeah. I’m in love with you. Have been for years. Now feels right. Like maybe you’ll meet me here, tell me you feel the same.”

Joss looks at him for so long that Gawin begins to get nervous, but then he’s moving, leaning in and closing the distance, kissing Gawin, and relief spreads through his entire body, calming him right down.

“I think I’m finally good enough to be your boyfriend. It’s just taken a long time for me to get here, I’m sorry,” Joss says against Gawin’s mouth.

Gawin cards his fingers through Joss’s sweaty, dirty hair and takes in the vision that is his man. His man. “You’ve always been perfect, J. We’ve grown into our full potential over the years together. And that’s all that matters.”

Joss nods, pulling him in, and they sit there, wrapped up in each other, learning each other’s rhythm as they bask in the moonlight.

Joss thinks it took time.

Gawin always knew it would.