Chapter Text
One moment, they were in a jar, alone, feeling an endless black void of nothingness. They had no body and no senses.
The next moment, they were real, they were physical. They could feel the ground below their feet, and they could see! There were bright colors and strange objects all around, and the red and yellow walls reminded them of a circus tent. They’d never been anywhere like this before, but right now they didn’t care because they were somewhere, and anywhere at all was better than that senseless abyss.
Despite that joy, something felt… wrong. They hadn’t felt their own body in a while, but they were rather certain it didn’t feel like this. They could feel something wrapped around their body, they were too short, too small and pathetic, and their head… was this what being bald felt like?!
No! This was all wrong! They weren’t themself!
As they looked down at their body, they saw that it was starting to glow yellow, and that the vines wrapped around them were burning off. As it intensified, the light blinded them, and a ringing in their ears rendered them deaf. All they could do was feel as their whole body started to… boil? No, not quite that. Boiling would feel like it was scorching, but this was a peaceful kind of heat.
Then, it stopped. As they opened their eyes, they inspected their body and it looked normal; it seemed to be exactly like it had been when they had taken their journey through the underground!
Well, they were alive and they had their own body? This whole living thing was just getting better and better!
“WOWIE!” A suit-wearing denture-like creature appeared out of thin air. “IT’S A HUMAN!”
Recognized already?! They supposed that was about their luck and they prepared for a battle.
“Don’t look so alarmed, this is your new home, human!” The denture monster put a hand on his chin. “Oh wait, was I supposed to say that one slowly and gently…?”
A new home…? They looked around the large area and, well, they didn’t know what a good home was supposed to look like but they didn’t imagine that it looked like this.
“Anyway, my name is Caine and I’m the ringmaster here at THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS! It’s nice to meet you, new human! What’s your name? Oh wait I almost forgot, you can’t remember your name here. Whoopsie-daisy! Well, in that case it’s time for you to make your own name! So, what’s it gonna be?”
“Wait, huh? What’s going on?” they asked.
Caine deadpanned. “You’re deciding your new name.”
They blinked. “Why not just use my old name?”
Caine stretched out like a starfish and gave jazz hands. “Because you can’t remember it!”
“Of course I can, I’m… I’m…” Wait, how could they forget their own name?
“It’s okay, all human arrivals go through this pain. The first thing we do is help you get your own name!” Caine flew right up to the newcomer’s face. “So, any suggestions?”
“Uh how about… Gunhat?”
Caine soared into the air and stretched out his arms. “My, what a fantasmical name!” Above the ringmaster, colorful letters appeared forming Gunhat’s new name.
“I still don’t get it. Where are we, and what kind of monster are you?” Gunhat asked.
Caine gasped and his bottom jaw literally dropped. “A monster?! No, I’m just a highly advanced AI. My name stands for ‘Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity’!”
“Oh, that’s cool,” Gunhat muttered.
“You think so? I made that name all by myself! I knew that acronym would make me sound professional.” Caine wiped a comically large tear out of his eye.
Gunhat rubbed their chin. “Is an AI like a robot?”
“Hmm, we’re both programmed machines so… yes!” Caine smiled and adjusted his bowtie. “I’m just like a digital robot!”
“I like robots.” Gunhat thought back to the Steamworks and the robots in it, like… huh. They could see their faces but they couldn’t think of their names.
“Well in that case you’re going to love me and this wonderful, wacky place, Gunhat!” Caine exclaimed.
“What is this place anyway?” Gunhat asked. “It doesn’t look like the underground at all…”
“My oh my, you must be very confused. Let me explain everything about your new home!”
Caine snapped his fingers and the world shifted, like reality was being sucked through a straw, and then Gunhat appeared in front of a stage. Caine floated above that stage and took off his top hat.
A sharp-toothed sphere flew out of Caine’s hat. “You smell like swiss cheese.”
Caine put back on his hat. “Bubble, we have a new player here, and they want to know everything about the digital circus!”
Bubble turned towards the player. “Blegh.” He stuck out his tongue.
Gunhat scrunched their eyebrows and turned back to Caine.
“Oh don’t worry about him. He’s always like this! Well, almost always… Heheh, SO! You wanted to know what’s going on. You are now in the amazing digital circus, and you’re part of my troupe!”
“But where’s going on?” Bubble asked.
Caine turned to his assistant. “Good question! Right now, we’re in the tent. This is like your home, Gunhat, and down that hallway is your room. It’s the one with your face on it.”
“And who’s going on?” Bubble asked.
“Well that would be our player, right over here. Yes, I mean you again, Gunhat! As the newest addition to our troupe, I’m going to send you on some stupendous adventures!”
“And why’s going on?”
“We’re doing all of these adventures to keep you entertained and happy! It’ll be the most fun thing you can even imagine!”
“And when’s going on?”
“We’re going to start an adventure RIGHT NOW! So buckle up and let’s get this show on–”
“And how’s going on?”
Caine visibly deflated. “Bubble, I think that’s enough.”
“And [%$!#]’s going on?”
The ringmaster’s eyes widened and he popped Bubble, leaving himself alone onstage.
“So, Gunhat, heheh! Do you want to start on the adventure already?”
The cowpoke tried to absorb everything they’d heard. “Uh… what’s the adventure about?”
“Oh, right! I forgot to explain the adventure! Er, uh, I actually don’t have a single one decided. Humans like to do things they like, right? So how about you tell me things that you like and I’ll pick an adventure that’s like those things!”
Gunhat puffed out their chest. “I love the Wild West and Justice!”
“Oh that’s just perfect! I can work with that! In fact, I’ve got an adventure that would be just perfect!”
Gunhat’s eyes went wide. “Do you really?”
“Of course, you hollering hippopotamus! I call this adventure Wacky Wild West Wonders!”
“That’s my favorite direction!” Bubble exclaimed.
“When did you get back here?!” Caine demanded.
Bubble floated up against the ringmaster’s head. “You can’t get rid of me!”
Caine gulped. “Well, uh, the adventure! You see, over in Old West Town, there’s about to be a terrible robbery! As the sheriff, it’s your job to figure out what that upcoming crime is and how to stop it!”
“That sounds awesome!” Gunhat cheered.
Caine puffed out his chest. “Of course it does! My adventures have the most pradazzling paraphernalia that you can even imagine! And your entertaining escapade will begin as soon as you step through this portal!”
The ringmaster snapped his fingers and a portal appeared.
Gunhat pointed at it and looked back at Caine.
“Come on, go inside! Then your adventure can finally begin!” Caine encouraged.
Gunhat nodded and smiled. They walked through the portal, beginning their adventure.
Caine grabbed Bubble and fervently shook them. “Can you believe it?! There’s another human here! Finally, I can use all of the adventures I thought of and all the lessons I learned! Oh, I’d better go over there and make sure they’re having a good time on my awesome adventure!”
The ringmaster snapped his fingers and disappeared. Bubble looked around the empty tent and tilted their head, then popped.
A flower popped out of the ground and looked at the now-empty stage. “Wow, this place sure is weird. I mean, living dentures? That’s even stranger than real life monsters!”
After he cackled, the weed deflated. “Eh, who am I to complain? It looks pretty interesting and it’s been so long since I’ve had new content, and that stupid cowboy’s here too!”
The flower disappeared back into the ground.