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Gai was slurping down noodles in the small dining room at Ichiraku. The two new clerks had been banished there by the manager after they had spilled a steaming hot bowl of ramen all over a customer, and they were leaning halfway out the back door, talking in low tones with the girl from the dango booth. Gai did not approve of gossip, but he also did not approve of eavesdropping, so he was doing his best to tune them out when he heard a very familiar name come up in their conversation.
"--so handsome!"
"Oh, he is, he is," gushed the girl, turning a bit pink. "But he never comes to my booth! I only get to see him when one of his students drags him to your place."
"He was here just the other day, you know," one of the men said. "With the fox-spirit boy and that Yamato guy."
"He's handsome, too!" They all giggled a bit.
The men waved her closer. "I think it was--a date! Yamato-san paid for everything."
"Do you think so, really?! But his student was there..."
Gai didn't hear any of the rest of it. Noodles dangled from his mouth, dripping broth onto the table. A date? A DATE?! He tried to calm himself down, and tucked the noodles into his mouth with his chopsticks. No, no, small minds that were prone to gossip would also be likely to mistake a friendly post-training dinner between friends for a date between this...this Yamato fellow and his beloved, long-term, disturbingly modern rival.
He finished his meal and staggered out, tangling himself momentarily in the awning of the ramen house and earning strange looks from the gossips.
Where could he look to for reassurance? He knew instinctively that he could not ask Kakashi outright about it. His rival would either laugh, or worse, stick his hands in his pockets and look inscrutable.
No, what he needed was someone who knew about their relationship, who would laugh and tell Gai that such a thing was ridiculous! As it so obviously was! Anko was sitting at the dango booth, happily munching on a treat. He could ask her! She knew about him and Kakashi. She was friends with Asuma and Kurenai, too, and so had experience with discreet but long-term relationships.
No. Anko would not say anything to reassure him. She would probably try to bite him. He avoided her.
Safely away, he stroked his chin thoughtfully. There was no helping it! Inappropriate or not, he would have to turn to the people who knew him best. His wonderful students!
****
Where were his wonderful students?
He knew they had to be in the village, since he had checked for their names on the mission list this morning, as he always did, and while they could be on secret missions, he didn't think they were. Lee was not at his apartment, and TenTen was not at her parents' house. The icily polite servant at the Hyuuga compound had informed him that Master Neji was not at home at the moment, and was he well aware that the hour was late for callers if there was no mission?
No students at the ramen house, no students in the village square, no students on top of the water tower, although the couple there had some very unfriendly words for him.
On his way down from there, he ran into Naruto, who was walking slowly, looking exhausted. Of course, he had been training extra-hard. He had heard all about it from his rival, and been most impressed with the method Kakashi had thought up. He also noticed, to his continuing but distracted distress, that Naruto still wasn't wearing the jumpsuit he had sewn for him! He must have outgrown it, and secretly wanted Gai to offer him another one. He would sew one later.
"Naruto!" He greeted him cheerfully. "Have you seen my team?"
"No, not since the mission to get Sasuke--" He looked sad for a moment. "I think Sakura-chan knows where they are, though."
Of course! Sakura! Lately, the cute Lee was wherever Sakura was, being his adorable self. Not so much now as before Naruto had come back, but still.
"Do you know where she is?"
"Sakura-chan's on a date," he said glumly, and Gai could hear the disappointment in his voice. A deep, overwhelming spring of sympathy welled up inside him.
"Keep your spirits up, Naruto!"
Naruto gave him a look. "She's on a date with that guy." He looked at him even harder. "She wouldn't tell me who she was going with, but I saw him picking her up. He's weird-looking!"
"'That guy?'" It connected for him all of a sudden. "That guy", the looks, the fact that Sakura had been reluctant to tell him who it was. He was a master of subtlety!
"Well, well, so Sakura has finally been won over by our Lee!"
Naruto looked even more unhappy. "I guess so."
Lee had not told him about this! It must be a first date, then. Still, why hadn't he told him? He would think it about later. There was a good reason.
"Do you know where they went?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I followed them to the noodle place across town, but then Ino saw me following them and hit me really hard," he whined.
"Thank you, Naruto!" He hurried his steps in the direction of the other ramen shop, but turned to yell back, "I'll drop off the jumpsuit in a few days, don't worry!"
It was probably for the best that he didn't see Naruto's disgusted, confused look.
*******
Sakura and Lee were at a gaming booth, trying to throw coins into small goldfish bowls. Ah, young love! He noted proudly that Sakura was already carrying a small collection of prizes and smiling fondly at Lee as they laughed together. They were just turning away from the booth when he reached them(and was Lee making a grab for Sakura's hand? Very smooth!).
"Gai-sensei!" Lee greeted him enthusiastically, while Sakura hung back, looking annoyed.
"Lee! What secrets have you been keeping from your sensei?" He gave him a thumbs up. "And the fair Sakura!" She grimaced and waved.
Lee blushed, and Gai just couldn't help himself. He swept the younger man into a embrace. "What a fine young man you have grown up into, Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!" Lee squeezed him tight, then pulled away. "Is there a mission?"
He remembered why he was there all of a sudden and his shoulders slumped. "No, no mission. But your sensei is in need of your help. Do you know where TenTen and Neji are?"
"They're on a date. Just like we are," Sakura said pointedly.
Lee nodded, missing the pointedness. "Yeah, TenTen said something about Neji taking her to see the acting troupe that just came into town. She seemed really excited."
"Well, let's go then." He herded them away from the booth. "Where is this troupe? And, Sakura, you're just what I needed! You know your sensei pretty well, right?"
********
TenTen and Neji had come along with a minimum of complaining, being used to it, though Neji insisted on walking behind them. Now they were lined up like cute little baby ducklings on the bench in front of him, watching him as he paced back and forth.
Sakura finally spoke up. "What's wrong?"
"Sakura, I'm about to say something that may shock you! I know my rival likes to give off the impression that he is a free-wheeling man about village(I blame Jiraiya-sama!), but we have actually been dating for some time."
To his surprise, Sakura shared a sly look with Lee and grinned. "I know all about it."
Flabbergasted, he gaped at her for a moment before he recovered. "Well, good then! Now, your sensei apologizes for taking you from your dates, but it was necessary!" He went on in a lower tone. "I don't want you to think badly of your sensei, Sakura, but I am worried that my rival is...that my rival is pursuing other opportunities. Or that other opportunities are pursuing him!"
They processed this for a while, then Neji said evenly, "You think he's cheating on you."
Lee looked aghast. "Rivals are supposed to be faithful to each other!"
TenTen and Sakura exchanged looks, and Lee amended, "Rivals like Gai-sensei and Kakashi-san, I mean!"
This whole situation was so sordid, but Gai pressed on. "What do you know about this Yamato fellow, Sakura?"
She looked surprised. "You think Yamato is--? I mean, he's not as good as Kakashi-sensei, but he helped Naruto and he kept my secret..."
"Yes," he nodded, "Kakashi and I were in academy with him. I remember him somewhat, he was a good ninja."
"Sensei, why do you think Yamato is after Kakashi?" TenTen asked, ever sensible.
"I overheard some gossip, that he had bought Kakashi dinner at Ichiraku, and they have been spending time together."
"Training Naruto," Sakura pointed out, slightly bitter.
"I want to believe that. I did believe that!" He sighed dramatically. "You still in the spring of your youth, I envy you. You are all at the cusp of new loves, with flowery paths in front of you. And I am at the end of one, shrouded in darkness." He sat down on a handy decorative rock nearby and held his head in his hands. "Maybe...maybe, if I were better than Kakashi...if I showed him that I was better at being with this Yamato fellow, my rival would admit defeat and return to me!"
TenTen tilted her head just so. Sakura's eye started to twitch. Neji rolled his eyes, though it was hard to tell. Even Lee, swept along by his beloved sensei's despair, paused.
"Er, sensei...," he began.
"THAT," Sakura said very loudly, "IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD."
Neji gave her a look of grudging respect.
"But, Sakura..." Gai started, but she cut him off with an emphatic shake of her head.
"Think about it for one second. If you get this guy off better than Kakashi-sensei, gross as this all is, he'll want to be with you, instead of Kakashi-sensei. And then Kakashi-sensei won't care, and you'll be alone, since you don't want Yamato, RIGHT?"
"Right!"
"So, the one you should be competing over is Kakashi-sensei." She stood up, grabbing Lee's hand. "And now, we are leaving!"
"Good luck, Gai-sensei!" Lee managed before he was gone.
There was a moment of silence, while Gai continued to hold his head in his hands. TenTen smiled awkwardly through it, then smiled more brightly.
"Sensei, Sakura's right. Kind of. You should...show Kakashi that you're the better choice!"
Gai looked up at her, a look of fierce determination coming onto his face. "You're right!" He swept them both into a loose embrace. "My beautiful, youthful students, please forgive your sensei for involving you in his love life! It was inappropriate! But your words have inspired me, and I will overcome! Maito Gai stands for monogamy!" He struck a pose, pointing towards the evening sky. "Romance should be in the air tonight! Go back to your dates. Be cheerful, have fun, and be careful!"
********
He walked much more cheerfully back to his house. After all, his rival was living with him, not this Yamato. And he had gotten better scores on his exams, passed the chuunin exam at a younger age than him, and been with Kakashi for much, much longer. He would win in the end, he was sure of it.
Kakashi was in the kitchen when he got home, drinking a glass of water. "You're coming in late today. A mission?"
In a way, it was!
"I took care of some things. And then there are things to be taken care of here, my beloved rival!"
Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow.
Gai reached into the paper bag he was holding and pulled out the thin volume he had purchased on his way home from the late-night general store. "I got this for you." He held it out to him.
"The limited edition of Icha Icha Violence!" Kakashi grabbed it out of his hands, and tore the wrapping off. "With the figurines, and the relationship chart---"
"Yes, I know. It was very expensive, but when I saw it, I knew you would want it."
The other man was already paging through the novel. He had set the figurines on the counter seemingly haphazardly, but Gai noticed that they had been set up according to their final fights in the sixth chapter. He knew his rival well! Yamato would certainly have given him...shuriken or something. He didn't know the intricacies of Kakashi's heart! He'd probably never even seen Kakashi without his mask. Hmmph.
"I have a mission tomorrow, so good night." While he'd been gloating, Kakashi had set the book on the counter and moved toward the bedroom door. "I have to meet Yamato in the afternoon, we're..."
Gai's heart fell. Maito Gai stood for...affairs were acceptable during missions only? No! He took two quick steps across the room and wrapped his arms around Kakashi, nuzzled the back of his neck in a spot where only he, he was sure, knew Kakashi was particularly sensitive, and hustled him into the bedroom.
Much, much later, Kakashi looked over at the clock, mumbled, "Good thing it's an afternoon mission. I'll be a little late," and fell fast asleep.
******
Gai was waiting when the knock on the door came. He adjusted his robe so that a few of the small red love bites were obvious, even though he felt embarrassed to be doing it, and opened the door. Some things were more important than propriety. And punctuality, it seemed. He usually stopped Kakashi from sleeping in, but not today.
"Yamato! How can I help you?"
Yamato frowned. "Is Kakashi here still? We had a mission. I want to get it wrapped up so we can go back to training."
Behind him, Gai could hear Kakashi stirring in the bedroom and sure enough, a few moments later, his rival peered out of the bedroom door. Gai resisted the impulse to block Yamato's view of Kakashi's unmasked face.
"Oh, Yamato. Sorry, I slept in." He disappeared again, and they could hear him moving around the other room.
"Come in, come in!"
He moved to the side so that Yamato could come into the living room, and felt smug as Yamato glanced quickly at the love bites before looking around the room. Surely, this fellow could see the evidence surrounding him: Kakashi's books on the table by the couch, the picture of them at the hot springs he had had the nice lady owner take, the jounin vests that were draped over each other on the floor by the bedroom door... He remembered Yamato from academy, surely the man was not a homewrecker! He would see the error of his ways and end his pursuit of a taken man. Surely!
Unless, Kakashi was the one...No, no, no! This was a misunderstanding, nothing more.
"Can I get you something to drink? We have plenty to chose from, orange juice, milk, water, sake--it's a bit early for that, though!--, apple juice..."
Yamato held up his hands. "Soda is fine."
"Soda," Gai scoffed. "Soda ruins the teeth! Do you think I got this dazzling smile drinking soda, Yamato-?"
"Just give him a bottle of water, Gai. We need to go." Kakashi picked his jounin vest off the floor and put it on, snapping the straps shut. He opened the door and waited by it as Gai rummaged in the fridge and handed Yamato the bottle of water, then let Yamato go out first. He moved to follow him, then stopped. "Just a second." He shut the door behind him and looked at Gai for a moment.
"Gai, are you jealous of Yamato?"
And Gai wished, for the countless time in the several years that they had known each other, that so much of Kakashi's face wasn't covered when he wore his mask. "Certainly not!" he denied, and felt his entire face go hot and red, as it did whenever he lied.
Kakashi reached out and tugged on the lapel of Gai's robe, pulling it fully up onto his shoulder, so that the love bites were covered. "Good." He leaned in and gave Gai a kiss.
"Eh! Kakashi, how many times have I told you not to kiss me with your mask on!"
"Sorry." He opened the door again and waved goodbye as he left.
Gai felt very foolish all of a sudden. And very, very happy.